Tag Archives: particle and wave

The rescue party of myself

Where have I been in this quiet time? Many “places”, meeting myself across timelines…quite tangibly; noticing how versions of myself have been meeting one another outside of linear time. In an epiphany that feels as strong as anything I have ever known about myself, I know now that this is quite true as I witnessed first-hand how this manifested as a line I thew “back” once (actually many times, but this occassion was exceptionally potent) to help an “earlier” version of myself get out of a hole. The me of now, in my place of unfettered choices born of an attitude to life that has unhooked me from many of the mindsets that trick us into feeling imprisoned; and with my newly unbridled creativity, with new projects on the simmer that bring me joy without attachment and the freedom with which to pursue them in a supportive and beautiful environment filled with sunlight and flowers, had sent this package back “in time” as a taster. Like a search party sent to recover the frightened child that I was, the vibration of my current reality had, in a very real sense, rescued her. In exchange, that “me” had sent forwards their child-like curiosity and relentless urge to experiment, their unbridled, multi-disciplinary excitement and absolute disregard for the opinion of others so that I could infuse what I am doing here, which had previously felt stale and stuck (in the way that adult projects so often make themselves) into the newly expansive sea of possibility and expression that I am currently playing with as my life. We met each other “across time” and we both stood to gain so much from the encounter. It was as though timelines collapsed and these versions of myself, of very different “ages” and stages of biological development, were stood side-by side, co-creating together. This is where I have been these last weeks and it is so tangible in ways that are feeding my creativity, my daily rhythms, my playfulness, my health, my ability to shake off so many of the heavy shackles of what we call adult responsibility and start to experience life through the heart of a child again. We can loose these kinds of expererience (or their true essence) just as soon as we get caught up on the semantics of trying to describe them to others; its one of the reasons I have gone very quiet, hardly writing or posting a thing as though nothing is happening…when, really, everything is….(read on). Continue reading

Posted in Consciousness & evolution, Life choices, Life journey, Menu, Personal Development | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Allowing life to be soft

Not having to know. Not having to be right. Allowing softness to come in. Decommissioning that part of me that has an opinion about how well I’m doing or what order I’m doing it in. These are some of my themes as I step into 2017 and I suspect I am the micro to the macro of a vaster scheme rolling in. Incredibly strong energies are pulsing our planet from within and without yet I can’t profess to know what they’re about – not really; yet I can assume they are for my highest evolution, they’re changing me whether I resist or try to make sense of them or just lie down on the lilo of them and float along the stream. In fact, I suspect I would get much more out of them if I stopped the pretence at having a say in how they impact me or assuming they are in conflict with what I really want. The fact that they lay me flat every year at this time seems like a very large clue; just lie down and float and we’ll take you where you need to be going, they seem to keep saying, yet that know-it-all part of me has kept asserting it knows better as it tries to press the over-ride button or get a handle on the outcome. When something already feels unrelenting and then we make it harder still with our resistance to it, how can the conflict that this gives rise to seem like the right thing to do? All the clues are in our body…we feel the abrasion, the exhaustion, the sheer ache of resistance, like walking through treacle or forever climbing hills. This new impulse is absolutely tangible as it is received by our ever-welcoming cells, which LOVE this kind of softness and drink it up like an elixir of life. It flowers up in us like a bloom opening in the first warmth of springtime and its gentle wave absorbs all the overwhelm, the pessimism and the feeling of drowning, becoming a sea of potential..all new potential that takes us somewhere we haven’t ever been before. All things will get done…that are meant to get done…and those that aren’t will be reabsorbed into the fabric of a new life, one that feels kinder and more aligned. This is HOW we receive the new wave that is coming in and, in its own way, it will achieve so much more than our rational get-to-it brains could ever have strategised into being. Its a quantum wave in action – taking us with it on one very huge quantum leap. Continue reading

Posted in Consciousness & evolution, Divine feminine, Health & wellbeing, Life choices, Personal Development, Recovery chronic illness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Don’t give it your power…and then paint it the way you like it

When these apparent tumbles in our circumstances happen, it hurts with all the betrayal of thinking that all the glories we have gathered along the way were false signposts, conjurings, mistaken glimpses through the mist. The pain comes from feeling our power taken off us – all over again (or that’s how we feel) but, really, it is because we have forgotten who we really are for long enough to give our power away…again. Its death of a thousand cuts comes from the handing over of our power to outside circumstances at the first sign of “here we go again”, making our joy conditional like we are sheep resignedly walking back into the same-old fold. The shock to our system can be profound after living it large for so long. We allow ourselves to go back to that cramped little world where we “can only be happy if” such and such thing happens or is a certain way, having come to know how expansive it is to live way beyond that. It is not so much that we are disappointed by this thing as in ourselves…for freely handing over our sovereignty to the “stand and deliver” of outside circumstance all over again, having told ourselves we were beyond all that. If there was one week when I needed to easily demonstrate to myself that I was capable of flight…whatever the outward circumstance…this was that week yet the learned behaviours of lie down and succumb can be powerful pattern-makers and they play out even now, in the swan-song of their era; for we are way beyond going back into the small places we have lived in for so long. This week has felt like the death throes of old reactions that hold us small…while we catch our breath…before throwing them over for ever. Continue reading

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