Tag Archives: expectations

Because I have had no label to give to what was going on with my health for so very long, I was able to swallow its bigness and swim through it even when I was bone-weary; drawing on a reserve of courage I never knew I had and never losing myself to expectations hung around its symptoms and what they supposedly meant. I went at it like a child, using my innate abilities, or as if I was the lone inhabitant of an island with no doctors to ask (since I had long since stopped asking) yet maybe this is what kept me going with such remarkable fortitude that people still sometimes fail to notice that there’s anything challenging me; in my real life, though I write about it, I don’t wear it around my neck. Its very-often the expectation of a certain outcome that “get us” in the end, as I’ve talked about many times before…and I had been forced to surrender all expectations but one; that I was always “whole” no matter what, never mind whatever else happened to me, and would take my life moment to moment, always searching for the gifts. Continue reading →