Tag Archives: being yourself

Who I really am (exploring “the dreamer”)

Sometimes, getting very close to where we are meant to be and yet still feeling as though we do not quite fit (telling ourselves its “good enough”) can be the richest learning territory of our lives. The very “rub” of things that that don’t feel quite right, so very close to home (which you can almost see through that white picket fence…but you can’t get quite get to it or move in) can vasty accelerate the self-development process… Continue reading

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Courting obscurity

If being yourself means disappearing down the cracks, out of sight, into some-sort of inner sanctum where you feel happiest and most yourself, even if no one can see you being that way because the experience of it is entirely subjective and private, is that wrong? Or is it just a cultural idea of what is wrong; yet another inequality that favours the extroverted and leaves those of us who are natural hermits gasping for fresh air? In being introverted, am I part of yet another subset of people forced into having to disguise or compromise who they really are to be socially acceptable and get by, even (if income depends on it) to materially thrive? Continue reading

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Being diverse; my life in training

Autism isn’t how most people imagine it and there are still such a lot of distorted beliefs and stigma attached, which creates a culture where diagnosis is missed or even avoided. I am autistic, yet it took me 51 years … Continue reading

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The rescue party of myself

Where have I been in this quiet time? Many “places”, meeting myself across timelines…quite tangibly; noticing how versions of myself have been meeting one another outside of linear time. In an epiphany that feels as strong as anything I have ever known about myself, I know now that this is quite true as I witnessed first-hand how this manifested as a line I thew “back” once (actually many times, but this occassion was exceptionally potent) to help an “earlier” version of myself get out of a hole. The me of now, in my place of unfettered choices born of an attitude to life that has unhooked me from many of the mindsets that trick us into feeling imprisoned; and with my newly unbridled creativity, with new projects on the simmer that bring me joy without attachment and the freedom with which to pursue them in a supportive and beautiful environment filled with sunlight and flowers, had sent this package back “in time” as a taster. Like a search party sent to recover the frightened child that I was, the vibration of my current reality had, in a very real sense, rescued her. In exchange, that “me” had sent forwards their child-like curiosity and relentless urge to experiment, their unbridled, multi-disciplinary excitement and absolute disregard for the opinion of others so that I could infuse what I am doing here, which had previously felt stale and stuck (in the way that adult projects so often make themselves) into the newly expansive sea of possibility and expression that I am currently playing with as my life. We met each other “across time” and we both stood to gain so much from the encounter. It was as though timelines collapsed and these versions of myself, of very different “ages” and stages of biological development, were stood side-by side, co-creating together. This is where I have been these last weeks and it is so tangible in ways that are feeding my creativity, my daily rhythms, my playfulness, my health, my ability to shake off so many of the heavy shackles of what we call adult responsibility and start to experience life through the heart of a child again. We can loose these kinds of expererience (or their true essence) just as soon as we get caught up on the semantics of trying to describe them to others; its one of the reasons I have gone very quiet, hardly writing or posting a thing as though nothing is happening…when, really, everything is….(read on). Continue reading

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New perspectives on a woman’s prime

My mother always used to say that she never felt a day over 27 and, true to form, lived bizarrely devoid of any sense of being a particular age right up until she was diagnosed with cancer of the liver … Continue reading

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