A fairy tale for our times…and, of course, a new ending

I’d been fascinated for some time as to why the movie A Star is Born has captured the public imagination the way it has, not just on screen but off it in all the long-running rumours about leading actors Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper’s much wished-for romance. Not only that but the storyline, with the same title, has been made into a movie an unprecendented four times since 1937 (five if you count the 1932 fledgling version of a different name), each version emerging as a more evolved stage in the metamorphoses of itself. This is worthy of attention because the time span of those films covers a momentous period in the evolution of our species and the relationship between two of my favourite things to talk about…our “divine” or “intrinsic” (that is to say, intact) masculine and feminine qualities and the way they relate to each other as they find their way back together in wholeness.

I have to admit, the first time I watched the 2018 film at the end of last year, I was really captivated too; to an extent I wasn’t sure whether my degree of enamorment was to do with the flu I was getting over at the time or if the film really held that degree of charge (I’m not normally one for “mainstream” or overly “romantic” genres).

Having re-watched it this week, I can categorically say that it does hold some sort of especial magnetism for me, like I am being invited to plunge deeper than the surface of it (and so I have). I’ve found myself down a rabbit hole, deep-diving the music of the film, the back stories and popular culture around it (youtube videos, talk show conversations, the dynamic between lead players Gaga and Cooper, etc) and equally curious at my own a-typical behaviour; what was it about this film that had me delving so deep? Waking this morning, I realised so clearly what I sense this quality is that is drawing people in to a media vortex, even causing them to heckle and chant for Gaga and Cooper to “get it together” in real life in order to write a different ending to the one in the movie (WARNING: I can’t write this post without spoilers!).

So, THIS is its compelling force, in my view: its a fairy tale for our times, the very story of where we are poised right now, as masculine and feminine, at the beginning of the 21st century and the new version of the film takes this to a new and entirely relevant level of exploration. This is why the story took several attempts to emerge from the 1930s (a key point in the arrival of the eighth wave of evolution) onwards…..it was birthing, becoming clearer, grittier, more shocking yet more truthful in its stark conclusion each time. So this newer version simply couldn’t happen until right now as it has something to tell us about ourselves that is necessarily brutal and no-holds-barred yet the fact it has been told before, in softer forms, is part of that message since we have been on a fast-track towards this point, like a car hurtling towards a crash wall, for the last several decades. The evolution of that crash (or the so-called tragic ending of this film…told more starkly with each filming) is important and, in that sense, is no accident, seen within an evolutionary context. You get the sense this story really wanted to be told rigth now; and the fact particular directors and actors (in this case, Cooper on both counts) picked up the baton is almost incidental though, because it’s been delivered so compellingly, fortuitous. You could say, the story almost has a life of its own…

EisnteinNo era is without its fairytales, it s cultural stories that emerge, ones which get to the very bones of what is being worked out at the very heart of those times. Don’t think of fairy tales as children’s stories in this context; they are deep and profound…and unfailingly truthful. Einstein once said “if you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy stories; and if you want them to be brighter still, read them more fairy stories”. Disney has had a field-day with this and yet, we have to question now, are these stories really as static and universal as we have told ourselves; are they really on repeat (in the sense that it could be said “there are really no new stories”) anymore? Well, probably not when a paradigm is about to take a giant leap.

So what have we got here? What does A Star is Born capture on the screen, for all to identify with though they may not see it so clearly in their own lives? Well, we have Jackson “Jack” Maine, the world-weary male…broken, staggering, a child in a man’s body, longing to be tender but with no obvious way out of his self-made hell. His world is quite devoid of the feminine aspect at the beginning and he has become the disillusioned, worn-out and emotionally tortured alcoholic. “I don’t want to go home” he tells his driver, right before he discovers Ally in a transvestite bar (I’ll come back to the importance of that small detail in a while) and, a little later in the plot, he thanks Ally for creating the first home he has ever had…the broken masculine has come home to the feminine; isn’t that the universal story we all know so well? Yet that old story wasn’t ever, really, the ending…it was just the beginning, the promise of still more to come.

For Jack, being so hung-up on the past, it still wasn’t going to be sustainable in this lifetime. (HERE COMES THE SPOILER) in taking his own life, he forsakes the chance to “return home” within this lifetime (as opposed to finding home by leaving behind all the pain of life…which is what suicide is). We are left to speculate that he and Ally can now only ever be reunited on some other plane, in a song or an afterlife; that she will never forsake him (cue song “I’ll never love again”) but that this has become an impossible love to sustain in “real life”.

This is the human lot we have been sold for so long, yes? It’s what we have been told a zillion times before…a very old story; one that became the prolonged wail of just so many song and movie endings throughout the 20th century and long before those mediums became so accessible. You could say, its been drummed into us. The masculine and feminine were, apparently, never destined to get it together in this physical space…all too far fetched, it doesn’t exist in “real life”, is what we are repeatedly told. Yet, isn’t it interesting how, in clamouring for the two actors in this story (who have gone to some lengths to demonstrate the same magic chemistry off-screen, as part of the marketing for the film) the public are demanding a different ending now, making newspaper headlines? In this sense, Cooper has done something interesting for these times; he has engaged the public in a virtual reality campaign for the masculine and feminine to reunite; a sort of “vote” button for how the ending unfolds which, whether or not he and Gaga get it together in real life, is already doing its energetic work “out there” in the quantum ether where aspirations manifest into reality.

Meanwhile, back to the film, Ally is clearly a goddess…right from the very beginning…if a displaced one, like Cinderella working in a kitchen. And like Snow White, she has her little followers, eager to cheer her on, skip work and make leaps of faith with her, press their noses to the screen as she makes her first big breakthrough and of course she never relinquishes them, not even when fame and money come along. Yet displaced she is….at the start. Like a fairy princess held prisoner in some sort of dystopian nightmare, her talents go unappreciated except by her tranny “family” and she is destined to a life of emptying garbage…or so it seems. This is our broken world of the longest time, with its displaced divine feminine aspect, appreciated only for her domestic abilities while her real gifts go uncelebrated…or at least that is where we have been, until now.

So, along comes Jack on his charger (in this case, a limo), bearing his battle scars yet still capable of tenderness because he is just so broken and, in his way, he provides the missing element to the wilting feminine aspect which, for the moment, is like a bean sprout with no support to climb up. He offers her the means, the structure, the exposure to make something of her talent…since these are masculine qualities, the ones that make things happen in a dominantly material world…and so she gains her audience and makes a career that takes off at breakneck speed. Because, after all, the world has been waiting for the divine feminine for a very long time and is just so hungry to hear her voice.

Unfortunately, Jack is too broken to sustain her, or any of this, for very long. Though they have flashes of meeting in the middle, he carries too many wounds from far too many years of living out the long long story of the distorted masculine (violence, booze, a childhood being trained to disregard his emotions, an almost total lack of an appropriate masculine role model and the total absence of a mother figure). These are typical stories out there in broken-masculine land and its a miracle he is as responsive to a goddess as he is when he first encounters Ally, but something in his very brokenness enables him to see her fuzzy glow through the darkness. His brokenness, in this sense, is his gift since it opens him up and makes him receptive to what he needs most.

This is important…because its the very point that we are at right now, in our world, where the masculine aspect is so broken that that it looks like it is wasted and hanging on by a fibre. Whether we talk about individuals or the general state of our world, this is the universal state of play for the masculine qualities of our world and they could look “done for” except, in their brokenness, they start to be receptive to what they really need the most now, in order to make themselves whole again. In that fragile state, they gravitate towards the light of another Ally and the union is made possible…and can be nurtured in real life, though it makes for a less dramatic film plot to show this in action.

In showing this need, the masculine attracts the attention of the feminine which, by its very nature, will be receptive to that openness and flood the space with healing. No blame, no retribution, no fingers pointed…just, simply, balm, balance and love by the spade load.

Just as Ally takes Jack “home” with her, creating that very home out of the feelings of love she puts into it, complete with a cute dog, a piano and a veritable forest outside the door; a refuge from the world. So here, in 21st century format, is the story of Maximus and Elen from the ancient Mabinogion (the earliest recorded prose stories in Britain) all over again. In that version, the world-weary Roman emperor seeks out his goddess-princess Elen…finding her in a remote forest, having sent his envoys far and wide looking for her after a dream in which they met (Bradley sends his chauffeur for Ally…) and, when he finally finds her in that place, its like coming back to the Home of all Homes for him, and for her. All of nature delights in their union and the fountains start to spring…no less do our hearts spring as we watch their union on the big screen in this 21st century version.

So why the unhappy ending, the big cut off point where Jack deems it necessary to take his own life to enable hers? Just as Maximus gets drawn back to Rome, to take care of some of the messy business hung-over from his old life…So, is this still the same-old story where the masculine and feminine are destined only to have the briefest of perfect encounters in this world and then part again? Are we really stuck in this same old ending, where the three-dimensional world is fatally fragmented and our union a dream saved for another place?

Well, yes we are, just so long as we keep looking with our three-dimensional eyes, taking in the story in this defunct old way.

When we open up and look with other eyes; fifth dimensional “eyes”, we see something different happen; or, rather, we feel it. We notice, for instance, how Ally incorporates both masculine and feminine qualities right from the very start (her affiliation with a transvestite club is a clue); in fact, she is almost androgynous in her appeal…no less is Gaga in her real life persona, which is why she was so perfect for the role. As Jack and her get it together, she only becomes stronger…not because she lacked anything on the inside but because she lacked the outward mechanisms to make anything of her feminine qualities as the world currently is, which is dominantly male in its materialistic approach to everything, art and music included. As I know only too well, to make it in these times, you need far more than artistic ability and the desire to be heard; you need money and a marketing machine and Jack gives her that because, for him, that side of things is easy, being second nature.

On the inside, she lacks nothing and, from her union with Jack, she gains one very important thing…she starts to believe in that. So, by the very end, in her new solo-status as the bereaved widow, this sad ending is almost belied by how complete Ally seems as she sings her final song….a tour de force and stronger-seeming than she is at any other point in the plot line, being no longer dragged down by the wounds of broken masculine. She has now incorporated both divine masculine and feminine qualities into herself, as herself, in a physical three-dimensional sense as well as in her essence, becoming more whole and capable than ever. THIS is the true story of our times and its not even about exploring androgyny or broader sexual preferences….though these can become optional subplots for some people along the way…but about becoming unified and whole WITHIN OURSELVES at our very essence, within the core of our very cells or, you could say, in the energy field that we embody.

So where does this message leave the man; is he now obsolete? Only in this story (and, remember, this is a story). Remember, too, that divine masculine and feminine have nothing whatever to do with gender, except that we have stereotyped them that way, which is a sizeable part of what we are here to now heal. It also helps with the telling of “the story”. Sometimes we need the extreme to be enacted before our very eyes before we start to get something profound about ourselves. In real life, we can become that whole, as ourselves, and still choose to be in relationship with someone else…and all the stronger, together, for that personal wholeness. The one does not make obsolete the other; nor do we need that other person to come along to complete us…but, in meeting them, we can sometimes be reminded of skills we carry innately and which are being denied or vastly underused until we, now, realise them.

So, is it any wonder audiences clamour for the off-screen romance between Gaga and Cooper to take place. Caught up in the onscreen storyline that is really their own, projected outwards, they see all too clearly the fragmented state of our world and how heartbreaking it is so they long for the grand reunion that would make everything feel whole again; of course they do. Really, they could now look to their own lives…and to themselves…rather than obsessing about the film and maybe many of them will get there, never consciously making the connection from one to the other. The film serves as a bridge for their subconscious awareness and they can work out that different ending on the inside…just maybe.

I confess, I find Gaga such a fascinating creature the more I look into her, which I never really did before, so to gain the summary at this point in her career is to witness the emergence of a character that is very-much “of” these evolutionary times. There are barely two pictures of her where she seems like the same person and this chameleon-like ability is an extreme outward projection of times in which we are collectively playing with all the possibilities of all we have ever been and ever could be. In presenting herself thus, which is as a sort of multi-diversity (or multiverse) in her exaggerated public persona, she is firing all our imaginations and reminding us that we, too, have every possibility at our fingertips…and can reinvent ourselves as often as we like. Unsurprisingly, her love-life seems to be equally flux and yet the sense I get is that she is far too complete, in and of herself, for any “old style” male to get close to without getting his ego burned; so it will take quite a different kind of masculinity, one which is as whole as she is, to meet her in this state of balance….individually and together.

This multiversity thing (my new word…a bit like university, only more accepting of paradox) is another evolutionary thing in our times. In my own small way, I’ve never been harder to label either…whether in my tastes, my interests or my personas, which is not to say I’m fickle but that I won’t be pinned down anymore. The way the public interest in this film is spilling out over the edges into the personal lives of these actors is another interesting trend since, in their minds, they are morphing reality into fiction and back again so fast now that they literally start to blend…an oscillation that whips into creation a whole new layer of potential since it unleashes the imagination from its age-old prison cell of what is so called “real” and what is not.

As the old-and-very-broken masculine aspect, worn out from repeatedly wounding himself, disappears from left stage to make room for something far more in balanced (yes, in a female body) to emerge by popular demand, a new form of male will also start to emerge from all these new influences we are generating in our popular culture. A transition phase, where even men are allowed to cry and to get embroiled in all the emotions around the old story (as I am noticing happen around this film, which has captured a male as well as a female audience) is a good start because it makes it alright for men to weep over the way things have been (which is to allow their own feminine aspect to be heard, not suppressed)…and then to stand up ready to aspire to something different. Interesting times and an oddly compelling film, which is a far leap from my usual topics, so I just had to share. To me, this is yet another sign that we are becoming so ripe for a new ending to a very old story; and we are it, writing it as our own lives.

Posted in Art metaphor, Art purpose, Consciousness & evolution, Culture, Divine feminine, divine masculine, Films, Health & wellbeing, In the news, Life journey, Menu, metaphor, Personal Development, Symbolic journeys | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Cultivating the mystical

These weren’t unusual experiences in the sense that I often have small mystical encounters with other creatures; ones which I know are more meaningful, multilayered and potent than others might allow because I feel them carrying synchronistic messages to me that I might so easily have missed, had I been of a more logical frame of mind. So, not unusual, yet they were being more assertive than normal yesterday…and it had been going on all day. 

It started, in fact, after a particularly potent mediation using Dr Joe Dispenza’s audio Blessing the Energy Centres which, if you happen to have read his books, you will know is one of the lychnpins of his uber powerful healing modality. I’d been doing this meditation most days for a few weeks but this time I really got it…and something happened that was so powerful I had to lie down and integrate again, even after doing my yoga and eating breakfast, because something felt like it was on the shift in the cells of my body.

So I had been lying down for about another hour when I decided to take my bike out for a ride…my first ride since getting it fixed, having decided I’m going to take up cycling again, which used to be a big part of my life but I hadn’t done for a very long time. And I know I was still feeling just a little bit soft-edged, sort of mellow to the point I half wondered if this was a good time for me to try to remember how to ride a bike but I managed it and got into a comfortable pace, beneath the trees.

Now, I know bikes can be quite stealthy, compared to walking a 43 kilo dog, but it was as though every creature wanted to get to close to me or was happy to just keep on doing what they would be doing if I wasn’t there, as I progressed along the bridle path that edges our woods. That I simply wasn’t disturbing their natural energy in any way was my strongest sense (which can’t be said of most human beings) and so it was almost as though I was one of them; a privileged insider to woodland life. I had a robin almost clip my handlebars, gliding right in front of my face, had just-in-time bunnies and blackbirds hopping within inches of my progress, a wren that sang sweetly on a branch so close to my ear it was like a personal serenade and, the pièce de résistance, a red kite swooping straight at me, at not much above head height, along the corridor of trees, eyes locked on eyes until, at the last moment, she lifted up into the branches overhead and disappeared from sight. It was the surrealist thing to be head-to-head with this mighty bird, going towards each other and yet neither of us was fazed in the slightest; there was no sense of alarm, it all felt so seamlessly coordinated, including my part in it.

Holly blue.jpgBut it wasn’t even that morning’s cycling experience that I came here to write about, though it had certainly gained my attention, but what happened on my early evening walk. This took place later in the day than intended because I had been feeling especially spacey all afternoon, like the overhang from the integration of the morning’s meditation and I still felt as though I was held in a rarified energy field, where anything could happen. When I finally decided to go out for my walk, I had just spent two to three hours in a semi-meditative state, followed by yet another run through of the Blessing the Energy Centres meditation and, suddenly, I was OK for my walk; in fact I was raring to go. Even as I stood up to leave, I encountered a rare (for my garden) Holly Blue butterfly fluttering excitedly in my garden…

Butterfly 24.jpgThen this walk was literally full of butterflies, the long warm grasses that glowed incandescent in late afternoon sun being quite alive with them, yet they were especially acquiescent to my desire to take their photo today. Usually (and its my running joke) as soon as I so much as put my finger on the camera shutter, birds bees and butterflies have this predictable habit of ceasing their perfectly positioned pose and suddenly they’re gone yet, when I have no camera, they come so much closer, do all those things I would almost trade a small body part to capture in a photo (I said almost…) and stay there for ages as I watch them at intimate quarters. Do other creatures sense our intentions and our attention, including a finger on (any kind of) trigger? Of course they do! Yet, on this day, they were being especially accommodating, even though I did have the camera with me; not seeming to mind, in fact humouring me by giving me their best angles (see more of them in my Flickr feed, right margin).

Butterfly walk 50.jpgIt was when I got back to the main path, away from the grasses, thinking there would be no more shots to be had, that I came across what felt like some newly metamorphosed Red Admiral butterflies since they all seemed to have that very particular burst of enthusiasm that comes from exploring the world on the wing for the very first time. I saw one of these the other day, in my garden; its excitement quite palpable as it speedily zig zagged here and there on pristine wings, examining everything, stopping for no one. Here, several of them were pairing off and dancing together, spiralling high into the trees and were quickly gone out of sight but one lingered as it clocked me standing there…and made a beeline  straight for me. 

Butterfly walk 52.jpgOver and over and over again, this butterfly began to circle me, my head, my face…flying straight towards my face so that it became very hard not to flinch and then, just as I knew it would, it finally landed on my head and just stayed there. I could feel through my hair folicles the subtle weight of its body just as, when it flew around me, I could hear the motor-like flap of its wings, like the sound made by one of those tiny flip books of moving animations that we played with as children.  When it settled on me, I could hear the subtle crinkle of folding wings like a tafita skirt.

This was just the start as it proceeded to take off and come back, repeatedly, landing on my shoulder for a few minutes at a time, fluttering off, coming back…probably 30…40…50 or more times…though I completely lost all sense of measurement and time and was astonished when I finally realised how late it had become. I was experiencing so much love and gratitude radiating out of myself, enveloping the butterfly, whose subtle iridescence I could so-intimately perceive in my peripheral vision as it sat vibrating on my shoulder, that I felt like a giant sphere of positive energy pulsing with life-force; knowing too that this was what kept the butterfly coming back and wanting to be with me. Yet when I saw a woman in day-glo fitness clothes striding briskly towards me, in quite a different energetic place to the one I was suspended in, I suspected it would all be over shortly, the magic broken, the bubble burst by her shot of reality…and yes, we chatted briefly about ordinary things since I felt I should explain why I had been rooted to the path with my dog (who was being so patient) for so long; she took me for a particularly keen photographer. Yet as soon as she had gone, even though I had moved on a few yards, the butterfly came back and continued circling and landing on me, as the sun began to lower as a golden-amber glow behind the trees.

How long I was there, I really don’t know but its fair to say I didn’t want this “moment” to end. Regardless, my day felt “gilded” and the feeling still hasn’t left me, reverberating out of every reinvigorated cell, a day later.

I also knew there would be more; there’s always more, just as soon as I get into this mystically receptive energy; which is to radiate love, coherence, balance, gratitude and all those other higher vibrational things as the field of energy that my body carries with it and transmits out into the environment. Being this frequency creates a portable world which generates its very own kind of experiences, regardless of what everyone else might be experiencing around you; and this is so important since it means we each get to create our own reality. My chosen world happens to include enjoying intimate encounters with other creatures, yours might not yet we each get to attract what makes us most joyful. The shared features are that the world (“our” world) becomes more whole, more unified, more magical, more participatory and we become more aware of our creator skills within it; we don’t have to take whatever is supposedly being doled out to everyone else.  Yes, life does start to become more joyful, more idyllic, more innocent and playful.

Certainly, whenever I get into this sweet spot, these kinds of heightened experiences become my norm…every time…though perhaps yesterday had a particular point to make about just how coherent I was becoming on the back of those powerful mediations I have been so diligently using to “recondition my body to a new mind”, as Dr Dispenza puts it. The more we become this state of coherence, the more easily such experiences find their way to us because we attract them from the field.

The thing is (I know this so well…) all it takes is one moment’s lapse, a single nugget of doubt, one logically dismissive thought and the whole bubble of other-worldly experience collapses once more to deliver the same lowered expectations of a conventional mind that we have long tended to make do with; which are ingrained into us as the oh-so limiting mindsets that determine our most predictably disappointing experiences of life, over and over again. Conversely, just as soon as I return to that higher frequency and allow myself to have these experiences, without turning them over to “logical” explanations or dismissing them as trivia, its as though the sun comes out from behind a cloud or the gentle creature shows up to be my friend and the magic starts to happen…or the perfectly synchronised person, the very assistance I was hoping for, the better sensation or solution and the well-timed information or encounter just appears out of nowhere. If only I could convey the uncountable number of such experiences I have gathered over the last few years, multiplying even more now (a butterfly is thinking about coming into my window as I type this…) as the frequency of cross-overs between one dimension and another seems to be increasing, the veil thinning, the other layers of experience ever-more willing to show themselves through the cracks in our reality as a fifth dimensional upgrade beds into our experience. And so this post is really a reminder to myself; and to anyone who was needing that reminder, to open up to the mystical so that there’s room for it to happen…and then it will, I can near-enough promise you.

Posted in Birds, Consciousness & evolution, Meditation, Menu, Nature, Personal Development, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

In balanced places and quantum spaces…

Long man.jpgOn my trip to the South Downs last week, we visited a very special churchyard beneath the Long Man of Wilmington, which is an ancient clue (once marked out in the natural chalk of the hillside, since retraced by concrete blocks) as to the importance of keeping our two sides in balance! Its interesting to note that his feet once also pointed out to left and right (see this fascinating history and some comparisons with other ancient figures, though this is “one of the largest such representations of a man anywhere in the world, being second only to the Giant Of Attacama in Chile who stands 393 feet high”). However, the Victorians, in their infinite “wisdom”, decided to alter them to face the same way as though on a hike across the hills with a pair of walking staffs….

A lot of people do set off to climb that hill, as though the giant is “the destination”…but I felt like I knew that whatever he was pointing to, with a stick in each hand, was most likely to lay beneath him, since the figure is quite distorted from “up there” and clearly meant to be seen from below. This (apart from a very hot day) was what led me, without too much overthinking, straight to Wilmington church, next to the remains of a priory rather than to the uphill footpath from the carpark. Below here is a place of extraordinary balance, he seemed to say to me and, as the long time explorer of the crossing points of dragon lines, who was I to argue.

Yew 1.jpgThis churchyard (even the name here  – Saint Mary and Saint Peter – is in balance) accommodates a massive yew tree that is the best part of 2000 years old which, in itself, was quite enough for me to feel quite blown away. For all its antiquity and the need of quite a few supports to hold it up, this tree is still producing abundant amounts of fresh growth, which feels like such a clue as to the importance of living in balance. The time I spent with the tree was so potent; I can’t even put into words and, I can also tell you, I was in no rush to leave; dawdling my way, barefoot, around and around it, cuddling and lying against its limbs, enjoying the view across the fields of unbroken Sussex downland. Though I am not at all religious, I heartily thanked the church for protecting the ground on which it stands, which is how it has managed to survive so long and to be afforded such tender reverence, I am quite sure.

Equally astonishing was a stained glass window inside the church, commissioned at the millennium, inspired by images of yew wood seen beneath a microscope. The artist Paul San Casciani has a fascination with “inner space” and whether you define the energy in those spaces as God or quantum potential, we are really all talking about the same thing here. Inscribed are the words “Raise the stone and thy shall find me, cleave he wood and I am there” (a reputed quote from Christ, jotted down in the 3rd century); this is old-new understanding at its best!

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAIn effect (see the artist’s own account of his inspiration for the window, left), what I was seeing via this abstraction in glass was a depiction of so-called “junk DNA” (though there is actually no such thing as “junk” in nature; these voids are where quantum potential waits to be interpreted through the very focus of conscious intention…), depicted as colourful glass beads “randomly” distributed around tree circles. The artist had moved away from church tradition to depict the unseeable, without turning it into something “to do with man” (eg. halos or rays of light beaming down onto figures from celestial clouds) and I loved him for the effort because, in doing so, he leaves this quantum void or creator zone open to interpretation, and for involvement, by all who come across it. Just as those images of the yew that inspired the piece are magnified to a very high degree,  I sensed that our own intentions could be magnified and distributed far and wide by such a window; so, no more fitting a place for it than in one intended for spiritual focus and the sending out of prayer, you could say. Yet, inherent in it is the reminder that we each possess these same quantum spaces; and that all of our own thoughts and intentions can be so purposefully radiated out into the world, to become what we focus upon…

Window.jpgThese abstract coloured droplets, a biology textbook turned into art (yes, I could see that, even before I read the description) also serve to hold and distribute the radiant afternoon sunlight deep into the otherwise shady spaces of the almost 1000 year old church. Their abstraction, again, seems to invite something new and fresh into that “old” and predictable space, declaring “anything is possible from here”.

The only non-abstract inclusion, apart from the artist’s signature and the traditional glass-painters “conceit” of a fly, is a butterfly taking off from the top corner. Encouraged by this and another window framed by bees and butterflies (refurbished by the same artist), the church seems to have taken up the butterfly as its motif, since they are liberally distributed, as paper cut-outs, around the walls, sat on the church organ and so on. To my eyes, a veritable mass-metamorphosis seemed to be underway in this once strictly “religious” space…to make room for something far more expansive and without religious boundaries. You could say, I felt like I was witnessing, via this rebirth of a “traditional” church interior, an acknowledgement that the unquantifiable, unpredictable, unlimited quantum realm has a place amidst all the “old” and once fixed ideas of religion; which is the liberal mindset that allows powerful things to start to occur amongst those who are already open to a spiritual perspective. Because to acknowledge the part played by intention is to admit our creator-abilities (the god within), beyond the rules of the old church or the hard-edged logic that fixate a more scientific mind; which is to realise we can – each – alter and direct outcome with the state of our thoughts; the very theme of my last post.

Berwick cross.jpgOn this same thread, another living metaphor had unfolded before my very eyes in another small church, just a couple of miles away at Berwick the day before. It seems a more typical sculpture of Christ on the cross had been stolen…all “so sad” or “a disaster” you might say, from the habit. Yet (looked at another way), because of that so-called “tragedy”, an opportunity had arisen for artist David Hensel to fill the space left by the old one, which would not have otherwise happened (as desperately old thinking must always make way for new, one way or the other.

Hensel was inspired to focus on the RESURRECTION rather than the suffering of Christ (“YES!” I felt a shot of excitement rise up through me as I read this) and so the resultant artwork, which depicts Christ’s limbs gently entwined by an organic substance (meant to be his winding cloth unravelling; could just as easily be vines and leaves) in the very loosest hint of a cross-shape, has quite a different feel to any other “crucifix” I have ever come across. Really, Christ is the only part of this new symbol resembling a cross; turning it back into a symbol of manifest balance (rather than a torture device)…the vertical and horizontal plains intersecting as flesh, “as above so below”. He might equally be spreading wings, taking off into flight; resurrection through acquisition of new skills (so-called junk DNA “switched on” to new uses). All of this feels  exactly right and on-theme for these times we are experiencing together. In Hensel’s words, it is the result of a personal meditation on these topics and “a piece about oneness” and, already (as you can see), it has led to my own meditation on what I see here. There’s no denying, I was so uplifted to come across it hanging there (in a way that no other  “Jesus on the cross” had ever done for me since I usually find them quite off-putting), especially since it is inside one of my all-time favourite churches; one that underwent its own resurrection of sorts when its interior was painted in brightly coloured murals, quite the radical make-over, by Vanessa Bell and Duncan Grant nearly eighty years ago (see my 2011 post Radical Bloomsbury and a Charleston Pilgrimmage). Sometimes, a touch of the radical is exactly what we need as we get these metamorphoses off the ground!

In our focus upon the resurrection of ourselves and of our natural world, one intrinsically entwined with the other, we allow our hard-edged track-record of suffering and sacrifice to fall away, once and for all, making space for something infinitely softer. The new possibility simply FEELS better, just as this new symbology, here, felt so much better to look at than all those miserable crucifixes reminding us of our guilt, pain and bloodshed…and so we simply head that way, drawn towards it instead of repulsed (or duty-driven…) by it; which is all so simple, since we are being led by the heart.

This is the new way; and to see it everywhere, even (perhaps especially) inside a church, is an encouraging thing. This new-old theme of resurrection is breaking through the soil, as is most fitting for these times, and there is no stopping it as it becomes more manifest in ever more ordinary ways. Yes, it may start first in those “holy” places (not necessarily religious places; I speak of a natural quality, coming up from the ground…) but, in balancing ourselves, we too can witness its new shoots start to assert themselves, through us and as us, which is quantum healing in effect.

Related posts:

Fluidity and form in the living landscape of life

The turning point will likely not look the way you expect it to…


Posted in Art, Art metaphor, Art purpose, Consciousness & evolution, Divine feminine, divine masculine, Leylines, Menu, Personal Development, Spirituality, Symbolic journeys | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The turning point will likely not look the way you expect it to…

There was clearly something I wanted to write about today since I felt I couldn’t get started with anything else until I at least tried, though I hardly know where to start…so I jumped in to see where this would lead and the long-rambling title is where I seem to have got to, such as there is a theme.

It began on my walk, which I did in the woods and common sort-of behind my house. This is a place that I seldom walk, truth be known…and less so now than ever since our village is being hammered by new housing initiatives around it, preferring to get in my car and go even a mile or two away further away from all this urbanity, to other walks that I have claimed to be my own over the years.

“Why is that?” I pondered as I benefitted from the cool convenience of its trees on a day that was already too hot for being bothered with a car. The answer was there in how sickly the trees were looking, for all we are in mid-summer. Had I always noticed that or was I newly noticing just how tired and unwell so many of these trees were…how the crisp carcasses of last autumn’s leaves still lie thickly underfoot…how some trees have no leaves at all in this fringe of urban Nature. This is the same place I depicted in last year’s artwork “Looking Back”, of a pair of deer looking back towards a golden view that is rapidly disappearing before their very eyes. I used to be able to predict half or dozen or more deer sightings, in full view, on this hill but now consider myself lucky if I catch the merest glimpse of a solitary deer peering from behind leaves.

Yet, I knew this morning’s post wasn’t meant to be a dreary one; a treatise on the state of the ecosystem or lament about urban pollution. Even as I walked beneath these tired-looking trees, I knew that these trees weren’t done for; weren’t appealing for my sympathy. If someone had come with a bulldozer that very morning and declared they “might as well” get rid of them, build more houses on the spot, because this was now a pitiful excuse for a wood, I would have defended them in a moment, standing up for their right to keep doing what they are doing; which is no small thing.

Because, I realised, these places (tired-out though they seem) are being the every lungs, the buffer, the breath of fresh air for this and other such locations under urban pressure, surrounded by acute unawareness (as a grown man of at least thirty, walking his dog, stared fixedly at his phone which was playing rap music out loud…not even seeing his surroundings for a moment as he approached me), blighted by all manner pollution. They are holding up a certain frequency, regardless…and if they are worn out and haggered-seeming then its because they are valiantly holding that frequency all the days of their lives; and the birds know it, those birds which (yes, in lower numbers now) sing on in their branches.

And in that realisation I saw myself and those like me; people who look worn out, depleted, sickly, struggling to thrive in outward terms yet, inside, we know we are far from “done for” Yes, we are tired-out physically because we do this important inner work; this frequency work that so many others don’t even think about. As with the trees, I know we are like this not because we are failing but because we are succeeding in holding a certain frequency AGAINST TERRIBLE ODDS; against the flood tide of negativity and lost direction that has been the story of the last few decades. We are those who feel more, who notice more, who dare to be aware of things that others sweep under carpet and we are processing that knowing through the very cells of our bodies, transmuting it into something  more meaningful than it might otherwise be so that, as we stand tall and keep going regardless, we do it for all. And in doing so, of course, we look tired-out by comparison.

Yet all it took was the acknowledgement of what these trees stood for in order for a different current to whisper and tingle all about me. My unexceptional walk transformed quickly into the exceptional before my very eyes and it was as though the landscape lit up with a subtle vibration that my long-compatriotship with it enabled me to see clearer than, perhaps, someone who could not relate to the degree of  fatigue that this place knows as the daily reality of doing “the job” that it is here to do. Together, the landscape lit up and I also lit up; brimful with more energy and inspiration than I still know what to do with and…in another moment of appreciation…I realised how so many of the most inspired moments of my life had occurred whilst walking in these very woods over many years; how it had delivered more epiphanies and landmark understandings than I could ever begin to count.

There are two giant redwood trees on the brow of the hill, one (dark and shady with its overhang) that I consider to be female and the other (stark and erect) that I consider to be male and I like to visit both, to spend some time communing with their energies. Today, I noticed a pair of new holes dug into the earth at the foot of the male tree, at first assuming some mammal had scraped the beginnings to a burrow until I realised they were a bees nest; a fat bumble bee humming in and out of the entrance. This felt so meaningful to me that it made my walk because this evidence of highly organised and “sacred masculine” activity starting to stir around the roots of this totem to masculinity was just what I wanted to see clues of; divinely inspired masculinity being just what this world needs now, so that we can build its structures anew!

Then another clue; an odd one…provided by the oak that stands in direct line with my house; between my house and the spring that I have done very-much work with over the years, which was producing masses of vivid new leaves. Odd because the oaks did all that new-growth many weeks ago and look dark green and mature everywhere you go now; all the vivid new leaves having long turned to a much darker hue. All, that is, except here where this anomaly tree had begun to unfurl a second layer of brand new leaves at the tips of all its branches in just the last few days, creating a bizarre juxtaposition of old and new, mature and fresh, side by side. I accepted this, without straining my rationale, as yet another positive sign and smiled my way home.

Because it has been pretty-much been like this, for me, these past few weeks, while I have been putting all my efforts into transformation and positivity. There have been just so many things come up that I could take “in the negative”; signs and indications that things are going wrong, that we are doomed, that things are only going to get worse from now on, that our children’s lives have been stolen from them and that our future world will be a living hell. In conversations with others, these threads have tried to bully and force their way in…and yet I have felt quite compelled to resist them, to walk away, extricating myself from the very building if necessary rather than go down those vibration-lowering routes. In fact, it has never felt more important to do so. By the way, you can tell when you have been spinning an exceptionally high vibe from the stark contrast when some of these topics try to come in to your awareness; like sticking your leg out of a fast moving vehicle and touching the tarmac, you will feel the burn as your alert. Use this to step away and, for goodness sake, prioritise the high-frequency work you are doing above ALL else; this is what makes a real difference, over and above all the chitter-chatter of fear.

Because when we allow ourselves to be infected with the blight of negativity, it spreads like wildfire, jumping from branch to branch of our experience until, suddenly, the whole forest is depleted, with great gaps in communication where once there was a canopy serving as the unbreakable bond between all life-affirming things. Whilst this might not destroy everything, it sets it back and it depletes energy that some of us are expending a lot of effort whipping up to a higher place…and why court set-backs anymore? We do it to ourselves, each time we allow fear thoughts to come in, when we explore those “what if (insert catastrophe)” books on the best-seller list, when we allow our newsfeed and the media to fill in the blanks of our questions…rather than what we feel and notice with our hearts.We do it (to refer back to my previous post) when we “fail to believe in the belief”; in other words, we say we believe in something positive but we still defer back to our old fear-driven, doubting selves (or we harbour “insurance policy” thoughts in case our positive beliefs turn out to be misguided). No…we have to get on board this thing and stay there!

Yes, even when we feel sad about the trees, about the ecosystem, we allow ourselves to go there. The trick is to be discerning about what is happening, which is to see it and admit it, but not to lower our vibration to where we feel defeated by these things. To allow for different outcomes than those based on how things turned out in the past…

There is always a plus to “the hardest times”, as life has taught so many of us well in recent years. When we are most depleted, when all else seems to conspire against our thriving, we are left with nowhere else to go but to exercise the heart muscle and allow ourselves to feel into other possibilities…and then we hold onto these possibilities as our reality, ahead of them manifesting, since it is in the very holding of them (we quickly realise) that we manifest them, regardless of all those other bully-energies attempting to bulldoze, blight and cut our positivity down via the weaponry of demoralisation and trauma.

Outward appearance is not everything, and far more goes on beneath the surface of all living things than we can yet fully comprehend; not least, the ability to turn health around on a pin-head when the time is right.

The trees know this; and I know it too…and today I felt it, as the distinct clue that we are far from depleted on the inside, in fact (dare I say it) I sense that we are through the worst of it all now, though things don’t outwardly seem that way, I concur. Yet we are all turning around as surely as I am turning around in all my efforts to heal from the core of my cells outward, which I feel occurring day-on-day. Like being on a slow moving train turning an obtuse corner to face in a completely different direction, it can be so hard to perceive that we are now starting to facing an entirely different way, since we hardly noticed the transition and the view from the window doesn’t look so very different to how it was a short time ago…but I feel it and I know I am not alone in feeling it, either.

The turning point…THIS turning point…is not going to look the way we expect it to; to appear according to benchmarks that we have in our minds; based on the way things have been in “the past”. There has been no other time like this and so it cannot look that “old” way; its clues are subtle, under the surface, there to be felt but not neccesarily measured, even with the eyes…

Its your job, all of our jobs, to train ourselves how to use a different set of cues…and to not set ourselves back with old-style thinking, which undoes all of our efforts, rewriting the quantum effort in the very moment we naysay ourselves into typical fears and doubts, other people’s stuff, the (still) popular trend to disregard what cannot be demonstrated according to logic. Smile at all that baby stuff…and believe in yourself, what you feel coming, anyway!

So, it’s never been more important to keep our attention on the positive, to look out for signs and clues of regeneration, to withdraw energy from the naysayers, to be vigilant about who and what we keep the company of in the weeks and months ahead. Once you alter your focus, expect these clues to come thick and fast and know that in seeking them, and acknowledging and being grateful for them, you do the very work that moves mountains. Meanwhile, those who have done the work for the longest time, who have been the very life-support of the passing era (for all they look so exhausted that it could be assumed they have done nothing but lie in their beds feeling sickly for a decade or more) will start to show distinct signs of regeneration…you could say resurrection…in the coming months and I, for one, intend to be one of them.

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Fluidity and form in the living landscape of life

RAIL2101I just got back from a few days spent in a cottage in the South Downs, in what was undoubtably one of the most stunning locations I’ve ever had to the good fortune to stay, and as I lay back here in my own bed, this morning, a theme started to present itself to me across multiple layers of my experiences (and not just those relating to this holiday).

We happened to visit an exhibition of artworks by self-taught landscape artist Philip Hughes whilst visiting (one of my very-favourite places…written about here before) Charleston Farmhouse, one-time home to the “Bloomsbury” set of of artists and creatives. I read that for Hughes “distinctive, distilled vision of landscape…topography plays a conspicuous role, as it did for early man in establishing his first sacred sites and ceremonial centres”.

Hughes has a very particular style, somewhere between landscape artist and cartographer and there was no denying his images of rolling English hills and, equally, of frozen ice-mass as part of an Antarctic expedition he accompanied, held a very particular kind of appeal. They reminded me of the kind of oh-so compelling travel posters from the 1920s and 30s (example above) that I used to avidly collect as a teenager and I knew they possessed a certain quality just as soon as I registered this rare phenomenon: my husband was just so very enthusiastic about them. Well, yes, I suppose you could label this kind of art very “masculine” or even (dare I say it) logical; and there’s a track-record of this kind of approach proving capable of reaching out across the otherwise uncrossable ravine towards those of a more left-brain orientation when it comes to art. Even then, I was impressed by his enthusiasm since I am used to him finding somewhere to perch when I go off into “visiting art-gallery” mode.

In fact, its fair to say, he went overboard, still talking about these artworks the next day. This catches my attention because he is not a natural appreciator of art, not for want of trying but because it simply doesn’t make that connection with him in the same way an actual view has the ability to do. Its normally as though art is a different language to his own, for which he has no translator, leaving him unable to perceive or feel, with the same enthusiasm, what the artist saw or endeavoured to deliver. This is a foible I have had to live with as an artist, knowing as I do that one of his brief and invariably “stock” responses to a day’s-worth of tweaking to a canvas is not meant  in any critical way since no amount of artistic effort, of any standard, is ever going to elicit great amounts of reaction or commentary from him; which its not for lack of appreciating what I do but because we speak a different language in this regard. As in many areas of our shared-life, he accepts and makes room for certain experiences that I have without needing to be able to have, or to have proof of, them himself (in other words, he’s happy and respectful because I’m happy and fulfilled); which is a model for a way of being that we could do worse than emulating across the board of human existence!

As someone who operates precisely from midbrain, making me equally logical and attracted to scientific thinking as I am slave to my “artistically” abstract portion, I can easily grasp how to have one side more dominant than the other would make for a very different experience of the “picture of life”; as it does in the manifest reality of our world, where the left-hemisphere still reigns supreme. Yet this leaves much of “the world” in a perpetual state of non-compute and communication breakdown over experiences that those having them are frustrated to hell over trying to convey, or even have registered and acknowledged “as real”, by an unlistening dominant class of logical perceivers. The result is either a world made up of ugly and largely un-negotiable brutalistic “lines” (rules, laws, measures, standards, fixed beliefs…) or a fuzzy mess of experience that cries out for a translator as purposeful as I was encountering in this small exhibition. If only we could “draw”, with such clean yet expressive lines, all the most convoluted, least translatable experiences of our world for all to appreciate together, wherever we were coming from on the scale of logical to abstract, each being of equal value when we take the range of experiences as a whole (a truth that quantum theory is pressing upon us a  little more daily), then I felt sure ever-more of us could step back with new appreciation and declare “I get it now; I see the picture”. The unseeable is as hard to translate into lines and squiggles as it is important to acknowledge and there lies our next-biggest human challenge, in order to engage the whole of the “audience” in the same way that I was seeing unfold in this small exhibit on a Sunday afternoon in West Sussex.

There is no denying, these artworks particularly spoke to me too (in a similar way to how Japanese Ukiyo-e art has recently spoken to me); especially as someone who lay down their paintbrushes in frustration a couple of years ago after more than a decade of painting almost non-stop yet I felt I had lost my way or run out of territory. I’d had quite enough of being messy or impressionistic, had no truck with becoming abstract yet did I really want to get even more pristine, to become finicky, almost anal in my precision? If so, then there seemed no better place to go than into digital work, which was where I seem to have landed yet something niggles at me still, as though I’ve left it unfinished and waiting for its outlet. Seeing this collection of art, in all its straighforward potency, seemed to set in motion a new trajectory of creative desire, in the way of finding something I had been seeking for some time as a gentle nudge back to my brushes and even in the sense of something I had been seeking as a prompt in terms of better handling “life itself”. Already, I have found myself using what I have learned from taking in these oh-so pleasing images in ways that have nothing whatsoever to do with art…and everything to do with how I conduct my life…my choices…those things to which I give energy and others I can leave out as excessive and distractionary detail…

Because Hughes had succeeded in registering both the immense FLOW and FLUIDITY of the landscape and yet allowed it to have very strong FORM and STRUCTURE via the resulting output of his pencil or brushes. There were no woolly or superfluous lines here, in fact the simplicity and pared-back, economical line was its beauty, yet it lacked nothing (rather, gained everything) from it. The very hip-swaying, undulating, dance of Nature, the seeming randomness and flamboyant pattern of its very life-force seemed to sing out all the louder for its unhyperbolic simplicity in these images and I could discern that it was a partnership, a very marriage, between fluidity and form that made these images WORK.

The Long Man

The Long Man – J F Blighton RE

This approach is something that, undoubtably, lends itself well to the kind of exaggeratedly rolling, undulating, unmistakably feminine curvature of a landscape such as Sussex, where hillsides pop up and cradle all the structure of a manmade world like bosoms and hips popping up over all the straight-edged roof tiles and spires of nestled villages and farms. I registered it, again, in the artwork of J F Blighton in the art gallery that happened to be next to our cottage. All the unremarkable painted landscapes on the the walls had me skimming around the room at a speed that would have been almost impolite, had the owner of the gallery been there to watch me….but these etchings were pulled out of their rack, laid out and feasted over for more than a few minutes; their trait being to do as Hughes did and make much of all the curvature, the energy, the very impulse of the landscape in simple yet assertive lines that spoke of more structure than could be easily explained in a logical way and yet no single line or detail felt superfluous, untrue or over-embellished. Every zig-zag and pattern, like the landscape had been knitted-and-pearled or was a woven textile, perhaps the markings on a Native American fabric, felt appropriate and necessary, etched out in black against white in the most appealing of ways. 


Over the White Horse to Dragon Hill – J F Blighton RE

The fact Blighton seemed to favour picking out sacred sites…Avebury, White Horse Hill, the Cern Giant and (the one that first caught my attention, since we were going there that very day) The Long Man of Wilmington made these black against white lines all the more attention grabbing…since they seemed to convey the unconveyable about these oh-so familiar landscapes; potent places I have experienced, yet would struggle to convey the feeling of, myself. They made what was pulsing and energetic, yet least demonstrable, “real” or conveyable, so apparent to the visual senses in a way that…once seen…left no room for denial or dispute since the very beauty of what was made manifest spoke of an underlying world that (for all we allow this truth to be ignored, or swept under the carpet, nine tenths of the time) is always made up of both fluidity and form, the obscure and the obvious, the sub-atomic and the solid, the most elusive and the scientifically demonstrable…in equal proportion. These landscapes THROBBED with unseen energetic life, before my very eyes, and reminded me that all things in existence are like this. We are all made-up of so much more than that which is registered by the first five senses and these other impulses make all of us, and the very landscape with which we interact at these unseen levels, who we truly are.

Screenshot 2019-07-03 at 09.06.48

White Horse Hill – J F Blighton RE

If art can convey this quality, in a language that (with no criticism or ridicule intended) someone like my husband can perceive and respond to then this is one of the reasons art is one of my favourite of all tools in life (and I can discern how music, for a musician, is another such powerful tool). As I have found through years of writing and painting, the bringing of the more abstract forwards into form is a muscle we get to make stronger through exercise when the desire to use it is there. Why? Because making more manifest that which, for some of us, is always in “plain sight” to our subtle senses is no small or unimportant feat (though the results are sometimes effortless-seeming in their beauty…) and its why the arts are the very marriage bed of our two most fundamental traits; a sort-of bridge to holistic perception. When discerned and brought into plainer, more matter-of-fact experience – together and in balance with form – these more-abstract experiences help us each to become more whole since we, then, recognise in ourselves all the ways that we are also made up of both sturdy and defined edges yet also the more fluid and much harder to define, yet no less deniable, impulses of energy beneath our surface. Bringing these two kinds of experience together as the manifest reality of our everyday lives, allowing their partnership “hanging space” on “the walls” of our self-chosen reality, conspires to make those lives more balanced, our experiences more whole, our awareness more switched-on in ways that powerfully serve us in realising our true and most fullfilling purpose. It is in the making conscious of both sides of ourselves, equally, that we succeed in healing both ourselves and then, by extrapolation, our world.

Once realised, across all aspects of our lives, this beautiful TRUTH starts to unravel all of the so-called unsolvable problems of our world since it is in the denying of all that is not so easily proven or measured that we miss-out or deny up to fifty percent of our experiences of being human…and, in so doing, make the world sickly and lopsided to the point of tipping over, repeatedly. Once we start to perceive how beautiful “the picture” is  that is both stuctured yet pulsing with inexplicable and unruly forces, we start to grasp something so fundamental about our manifest experience that we have, for a long time, tended to overlook it for being just “too obvious” or right underneath our noses. This newly harmonous “picture” falls into place easily now (the artist knows this as the artwork that almost paints itself…as when inspiration takes over the brush), producing results that can now be appreciated both by those with “eyes” for logic or for abstraction since both are equally catered for; each seeing what appeals to them most. Instead of the total chaos that those who prefer to hold a tighter pencil to their paper might dread, a higher order starts to assert from a realm where we can now relax our death grip on the need to control everything.

These meeting grounds of form and fluidity – wheresoever they happen – are so potent and affecting. Like discovering a universal language that heals the rift of all our misunderstandings, we step back as though finding ourselves (especially those who “thought” they had no interest whatsoever in art…) stood in a little art gallery yet freely admitting “I see it, I really see it now”, like the scales fall from our eyes and a magic portal opens to the senses. The rest, from there onwards, is easy; as though a certain new light has penetrated to the depths of our understanding…

Whether, in what they see, that person perceives something fluid and lyrical or a cartographers map “back” to themselves matters not…as long as each gets to see something meaningful, using their most intrinsic set of abilities, with no cajoling or special training required. Its as though the translator finally arrives at a long-running meeting that hadn’t been going so well…and, suddenly, all the miscommunicated issues, the misconstrued language of two disparate sides softens from high tension into smiles, vehement nods and fluid, universally recognisable gestures; the whole dialogue of life relaxed into a celebration of things held in common instead of what once felt so starkly alien or invested in as one pitched “against” the other. Finding this universal language is a gift and those who are able to facilitate its use are the very agents of evolution, you could say the artists of a new paradigm at this crucial time, since its not so much that they invent something new but that they make manifest (to all) what was always there, if so hard to see until they were guided towards some very simple yet undeniably beautiful and engaging truths. These meeting places are where the very dialogue of our collective future world gets started as we create the whole of the new picture together, from a shared sense of understanding, personal investment and priority.

Posted in Ancient sites, Art, Art purpose, Art transformation tool, Artists, Consciousness & evolution, Divine feminine, divine masculine, Exhibitions, Landscape art, Life journey, Menu, Painting, Personal Development | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Claiming your beliefs

This weekend, I finished the book I mentioned in a couple of my recent posts, Gregg Braden’s “The Spontaneous Healing of Belief”. It was, as I had already hinted, an extraordinarily powerful book; both familiar in its content and yet directing me towards all the ways I hadn’t yet learned to apply this deep, innate knowledge about the power of belief in our lives and so, in that sense, a real game changer that I can feel rippling out into my daily experiences, in tangible ways. I have instigated, and experienced, some incredible changes in the last couple of weeks whilst reading that book!

Relatively short and extremely accessible, with a few exercises to focus the way you learn to apply what is being shared, this book is now one that I vehemently recommend to everyone I know (at least three have taken me up on the suggestion). To you I say just read it and realise your own unclaimed power to take part in your own life like never before; which is to make all the other stuff that is “happening to you” quite irrelevant since that is not truly where it is at, nor is anything being “done to you”. No, really. Belief is everything, as Braden amply demonstrates with his most astonishing anecdotes…and with his science.

This last point was both important and timely for me, having realised many times over, lately, that to be convinced of anything, I seem to need it to appeal equally to my most logical, analytical intellect and my most esoteric side, simultaneously and in balance. What Braden shares does that very thing, offering both science and miracles in equal proportion, often crossing over….and it’s in that very crossing place that we tend to make our most powerful breakthroughs. In an era when the melding of the left and right hemispheres holds all the potential of our next biggest leap, this is so relevant and important. Our very grasp of this dichotomy is the magical ingredient since “both ways of seeing the world are absolutely correct” (Greg Braden in his introduction to Dr Joe Dispnza’s “Being Supernatural”). You could say, this is our “new” quantum base-line and we will grow in proportion to how prepared we are to accept its refusal to fit to our old paradigm that physical, measurable and predictable was all that “mattered”. A sizeable crack has formed in the ceiling of that old mentality and we are now ready for this mastery of beliefs like never before; it being like the golden key to the door of our evolution.

Braden’s book is where I want to direct you; rather than paraphrase and pick it apart but rest assured, you will be left feeling its reverberations across every layer of your life both during and (a long time) after you read it. This is no passing place of a book on a Goodreads marathon…it is fundamental to each and every one of us that we “crack” this stuff to move ourselves on now. So unless you have your beliefs all neatly lined up and accounted for, nothing in there the inherited viewpoint of someone who influenced you as a child or an unchecked expectation of the culture you are part of, I suggest you get the book and dive in; it won’t take you that long to read but it packs a benevolent punch. It will demonstrate to you the “real” tangible effects of belief. Put simply, “”Belief is expressed in the heart, where our experiences are translated into the electrical and magnetic waves that interact with the physical world”…and not just within or around our individual body but with measurable repercussions in the world at large. This realisation is the very basis for quantum science. Even heart scientists admitted to Braden that the estimated limit of eight feet of influence from the “field” of a human heart was merely due to the limit of their equipment to measure any further; though HeartMath Institute and others have gone some way to demonstrate the effects of heart-coherence on the outcome of actual circumstances at a distance. This is, surely, the “new” science that knocks everything else into a cocked hat!

With such regularity and ease, these weeks, my dreams have brought up to the daylight many stories of where such beliefs came from in my childhood: belief that even the closest, familial love was, ultimately, conditional and withdrawable at short notice; that the outside world (just outside my house) was a “scary” and aggressive place; that material lack was the state of norm against which tide I would spend a lifetime swimming; that obscure and vague “symptoms” ignored would lead directly to the most devastating disease; that authority figures such as doctors lacked knowledge, humanity or genuine interest in people; that I had to be good, quiet and passive to retain my “safe” place in life; that bullies could be children and, equally, adults though the behaviours were very much the same on whatever scale they occurred; that I needed to concede many personal preferences to hold onto those people to whom I had attached myself; that adulthood meant surrendering all that gave me innate joy and that those things were childish, self-indulgent and without currency in the “real” world. 

These and many more have surfaced lately, not for me to pick over or to re-live the small dramas that brought them to my childish attention but so I could let them gently unwind, all on their own…fully…revealing their many layers and, thus, loose their energetic charge, gently surrendering them up as the packages of non-helpful belief that they once were to me. Yes, in realising the memory-thought is there as I arise from sleep or some other reverie, and then fearlessly allowing it to have its say, these nuggets have done all of their own work and me the passive observer. In now seeing where and how they became embedded in my body, even more deeply and un-emotively than all the other times they had “come up” for scrutiny, I have been able to realise that this new phase of maturity asks only that I put those beliefs away, like the broken toys of childhood, ready to create my own beliefs born of vastly more mature “thinking”. Perhaps (I suspect…) reading Braden’s book these weeks, not least at bedtime, has helped in the process and yet I suspect…no, I know…that many of us are going through this same clearing process right now for I am hearing versions of it left and right. We are collectively maturing our beliefs and it can feel bumpy and regressive (like “our past” has come along and stood  directly in our way when we were least wanting to think about it…especially if we have previously done “work” to put it all to bed). Yet its not like all those other times we addressed it because now we possess the ability, like never before, to effortlessly see behind the curtain of how those stories became cogs and levers of behaviours that have kept us running along similar train tracks for a very long time…now ready to make the leap onto a completely different track.

How did we ever embed the biggest of those defunct beliefs, though they undermined our very wellbeing, day after day?  The big one that came up for me to reconsider was: when did I truly cease to believe I was safe? I realised, that happened later, in adulthood, though childhood threw up many hints. By then, there had been many traumas, “very bad” things that had “happened to me” but I truly lost my belief in safety when my mother was diagnosed with cancer.

The bottom of the world fell out that day; all the worse because I hadn’t seen it coming. I wanted, with every most vehement  cell of my body, for it not to be true, to not have her “taken away” and for life to “see reason” or own that there had been “a terrible mistake” but I was shown there was no negotiating this time. Within 8 months, I had lost my rock, my most stalwart ally, my one intimate companion through all life’s thick and thin…she was gone and the world echoed its empty sound at me each morning as the awful realisation greeted me anew, like a shock announcement on endless repeat…and I lost all faith in the benevolence of life. I was barely an adult at the time.

That belief in non-safety rippled out and quickly distributed itself into all the cavernous spaces of my energy field, making its way into every most-fundamental belief that played a subconscious part in the most minute operations of the unseen yet crucial parts of my biology. From every outward human drama that then played out to the way my cells planned ahead for the long-term state of my body, longevity and a belief in an ability to thrive, of nature being on my side, was removed from the equation to be replaced by a non-stop state of “flight or flight”. Then, of course, life began to deliver me more and more reasons for that belief, with ever-more consistency…because that’s how belief works to create the very bricks and furniture of our “outside” lives.

In my next read, Dr Joe Dispenza’s incredible book “Being Supernatural: How Common People are Doing the Uncommon”, he recounts a persuasive anecdote of a woman turned right-around by his processes who, before meeting him, had witnessed her lifestyle and health cascade from perfectly fine and pretty rosy to where she was experiencing an array of quite terrifying symptoms, paralysis and cancer, multiple autoimmunities, hopeless depression, poverty, abuse and more. This “happened” as a result of such an emotional bottom suddenly falling out of her world when her husband killed himself without warning, leaving her “no longer safe” in her belief system, thus minutely influencing every single aspect of her existence, from the cellular level up. “She had finally physically manifested the pain and suffering she’d emotionally experienced in her mind” and this is because “When the fight-or-flight nervous system is switched on and stays on because of chronic stress, the body utilises all its energy reserves to deal with the constant threat it perceives from the outer environment. Therefore, the body has no energy left in its inner environment for growth and repair, compromising the immune system” (“Becoming Supernatural” – Dr Joe Dispanza). It also floods the cells with the chemicals of fear which, unsurprisingly, are quite different to the chemicals of love. In his books and renowned workshops, Dispenza presents incredibly powerful methods for turning such a dire situation around and this is where my next immersion project lies…

Screenshot 2019-06-24 at 13.49.24So what happens when we change our beliefs and can we really do it or see the reason why to make the attempt? Can we grasp with newly liberated minds how what we think of as “reality” is nothing but the projected  theatrical backdrop of those most built-in and grasped-onto beliefs we have carried around all our lives? Can we see how a similar set of beliefs led to the circumstances of those we have used as the “reason” for our own; how my mother’s beliefs (without judgement) carved out her life and death just as those of all the other people who influenced my childhood so profoundly had their own set of inherited viewpoints, many of which got passed down generation on generation…and would continue to do so unless we, the ones inheriting them, become conscious enough to see them there, allowing them to gently unravel and loose their charge in the light of day, thus halting the long-running process in its tracks. For this is what we do when we bring the machinations of the subconscious mind, which accounts for up to 90 per cent of our thinking processes, into the daylight to be audited and re-selected from choice…or not, when they no longer serve who we truly, and most consciously, are. Bringing consciousness into the equation is what makes all the difference.

For instance, Braden recounts a fascinating story of a family where all the males for a couple of generations had suddenly died in their 35th year until one of them, through consciously changing the fear-driven expectation, as he approached his own 35th, was able to halt this tragic momentum and write a new ending. There is no end to what we can do with belief…as both books referred to here will demonstrate in the most compelling of ways. We can actually signal new responses from our genes (in the way of epigenetics) “ahead of the environment” when we immerse ourselves in positive sets of emotions ahead of the circumstances that we want to manifest by believing in them, and setting our minds to feel what those circumstances will feel like when they happen up-ahead. This is when we become true creator beings, manifesting what we choose to experience, from within the so-called limited experience of being a physical human being. We can start doing this the very day we choose how to react to literally everything that life puts on the menu…our way…not the pre-conditioned way that used to dictate to us before.

I can clearly recall when I first began to delve into “spiritual” ideas, belief was sometimes mentioned as though it was almost a dirty word, a trapping of the ego to be transcended beyond. What I have since come to realise is that having belief is a fundamental aspect of the human state, at least at this stage in our evolution, so when we try to push belief out like it is no longer welcome, the void that this leaves will only fill up with something else; typically some newer defunct belief (such as that beliefs themselves are “bad”). My best experiences have been to take ownership of beliefs, making them conscious and taking part in choosing them, guided by the highest frequencies I am as yet able to embody. 

Another “trickster” area of working with belief is that claiming your own can seem to run you against the grain of others in your family, social circle or work place so, in those early stages, my advice is to do the inner work for yourself but don’t necessarily expect to discuss your new perspectives with others; in fact, it can be demoralising to do so. There’s no need to put your fragile new state to such critical scrutiny by those who white-knuckle grip to the way they have “always” seen things, if they are not ready, or have no incentive, to change. Quote Braden” Belief is our acceptance of what we have witnessed, experienced, or know for ourselves”, so we need no audience, validation or round of applause. As ever, doing the process for ourselves is quite enough and requires no drum roll or distribution of what we believe into the more visible aspects of our life except that, as we upgrade our beliefs, the positive effects will inevitably become more visible as our manifest life…and that is quite enough to transmit the message to a receptive audience, without  having to say a single word; we literally strobe the frequency of our own higher-belief system to others as a frequency, not a manifesto.

There is one other key of all keys, however: “We must believe in belief for it to have power in our lives” (Greg Braden – The Spontaneous Healing of Belief”).

aditya-saxena-410663-unsplashThis “big one” was my missing link; grasping this, at last, is where I have got to now…and believe me, the switch-up of gears is quite tangible! As soon as we clear what isn’t truly ours from the old slab of beliefs that was, as it were, written in stone for us even before we were born in so many cases, we find we have the most startlingly white blank slate on which we are quite free to describe the next trajectory of our lives. Even as we start to gain momentum in this process, we can detect the whiff of freedom on the air and it is quite intoxicating which, in itself, helps to fuel new beliefs, and build higher joy quotients, about what we are truly capable of; just like falling head-over-heels in love with life, because the mechanism is much the same. “As soon as we change our thoughts from fear based to love based, the whole of the body is literally flooded with “a cascade of emotional and psychological processes that reflect your new reality” (Greg Braden introduction to “Becoming Supernatural”). This is powerful new biology because it is participatory biology; “you’ll change your biology from a past-present reality to a future-present reality” (Dr Joe Dispenza – “Becoming Supernatural”) and then its positive effects spiral out into the world at large.

In my case, I had reached a point where my nose felt pressed up against the wall; I knew I had to rewrite my beliefs or suffer consequences that my most switched on “logical” intellect, and even my strongest intuition or “gut feeling”, both knew were almost inevitable unless I made a dramatic change. Yet if this sounds like my project is survival driven, I can assure you it is not so in the sense of “fight or flight” any more but, rather, of reaching a crossroads and consciously choosing to “go towards” joy and health, towards vitality, life and LOVE itself, as my birthright realised. In realising these are already mine and all that remains is to claim them off the shelf where they got filed a very long time ago, though they still clearly bear my name and only wait for me to reach out for them, I know I get to change the direction of the story for me, the individual and, as a contributing part, for the whole of the collective…as we all do.


The Spontaneous Healing of Belief – Gregg Braden

Becoming Supernatural – Dr Joe Dispenza

(Also recommended) The Biology of Belief – Dr Bruce Lipton

Posted in Books, Consciousness & evolution, Health & wellbeing, Life choices, Menu, Personal Development | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Evolving through collective grief to the other side

I woke in the night with a series of realisations…and Gregg Braden (whose book I have been reading) was very much in my mind, like a presence to the side of my shoulder, not coaching me so much as holding space for me as I made these evolutionary revelations for myself and the way that grief works in the human psyche.

I’d been watching a video with him talking, last night, about the grieving process for his mother that hit him quite suddenly, even though she hadn’t passed away yet at the time of the recording. The reaction in his body was that of being paralysed in a sort of prolonged fear reaction with massively elevated heart rate for no other logical reason, which alarmed him until he realised that he had already begun the process of grieving for his mother’s death, though she hadn’t yet left her body, because of the fact she had already, in some sense, “left” due to dementia or some such.

Waiting for the other shoe to drop

Apart from feeling awful, such pre-emptive reactions in the body can feel as though you can’t get on with your normal daily life since your attention is on these hugely invasive chemical and nervous reactions taking place in the body, scrambling and exhausting the mind. I can so relate as my body has been feeling like that lately; as though I can’t slow down or switch off some sort of adrenalin “buzz” or early warning bell that, if I allow it, turns fear based…and like I am constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop in the circumstances of my own and our collective lives. It was the first time I had properly equated what I was experiencing, and perhaps what a whole load of people are experiencing right now, with grief…like we are in some sort of collective grieving process that knows no end.

This realisation felt associated with an unexpected preoccupation with memories of my childhood home these last few days; some very deep and probing memories which had even caused me to Google earth where I grew up and to raise some questions about things that had never occurred to me before about that location. (Without going into all the details) I suddenly realised that there were things I really didn’t know about that place, which I have always thought of as almost sacred ground, though (looking back to some of the foibles of my childhood intuition) I realise I often sensed something perplexing, even quite troubling under the surface and, given what I now know about my acute sensitivity to place, it doesn’t surprise me in the least that I picked up on things that might have escaped most people, even adults that I might have attempted to confide in (I didn’t). Now I had discovered and owned a rational reason for them, thanks to the wonders of the internet and asking the right questions, I was reminded  in a timely manner that those innocent seeming days were far less pristine than my memory box liked to keep them…they were politically dark and fear-inducing to a very high degree (remember the cold war?) yet we all tend to do this with “the past”; holding it in a rosy glow and conveniently forgetting it had the kind of dark-underbelly that we perceive more readily today.

Yet this hasn’t surfaced now in order for me to ruminate over it but to help me realise, with new maturity, that those halcyon days of the mid to late twentieth century were far from the idyl we like to hold up as our benchmark of “normal”. Yes, in many ways (though largely because we were less informed or aware than we are now…) it was a lovely, simplistic time and I was lucky indeed to feel so good about where I was raised; but it had its murky corners, for sure. And, the danger is, while we all persist in this uber nostalgia for “the past” based on childhood memories of how things seemed, what we selectively remember about it, and for the way changes seemed to happen more slowly and manageably then (time is undeniably speeding up now…), the way they appeared more “wholesome” somehow (though how much of that was to do with advertising and aggresive information filtering…), the world to be more “predictable” and “consistent” (we had so very few choices…), and all those other memes, we simply can’t move on but remain paralysed on the brink of change.

In fact, we refuse to move on because our subconscious minds always trip wire us back into comparison mode, just as soon as the glow and initial excitement of any new-evolutionary perspective has worn off after its “honeymoon” period (evolutionary biologist Bruce Lipton writes about this in a book of related title). Wonderful and exciting new possibilities emerge, they engage us for a while and yet, still, we want to connect it back to this central prototype for what life is “meant to be like” in our minds, usually modelled on the world into which we grew up and from which we gained our formative influences. We are deeply programmed to want to stick with what is familiar and “safe”, and what our parents and grandparents were part of, like our very lives depend on it; to assume that that  is “how things should be” and that anything else is wrong or temporary.

Newflash: the significant changes we are now seeing in this world are not temporary…they are the beginning of “new normal”

What if we are entering into the age of a new normal, which won’t look like anything we’ve seen before? What if its not the new normal that will floor us so much as our subconscious mind’s faulty thinking as it hankers and grasps onto what we regard as so familiar and thus “better” than this new reality? Ironic since the world we hanker for hasn’t really been in existence since before the turn of the new millennium, if we are being truly honest with ourselves and yet it as though there is still a dust storm holding the shape of that old world, as I referred to in my last post.

As I just reminded myself, the world we cling to is a figment of our imagination…both now and even as it was happening since we only ever saw what we were capable of seeing at the time (even when we sensed other layers beneath the surface, as I did). Over time, we tend to iron out even those misgivings that surfaced, or to bury them deep into our psyche to play out as the early-warning systems that can look as though our health is acting up later in life; though really it is just what we failed to see before urging us to bring to light what we weren’t ready to know at the time…which is that “the past” wasn’t ever some idyll to be preserved forever but just a passing point on the way to somewhere else entirely. We tend to rewrite our own story to suit ourselves; and in collectively perpetuating the myth of idyllic past, of some already-achieved “norm” that we must fight for, we make it all the harder to move on to something entirely new and potentially better able to sustain all of us as a harmonious whole…

Meanwhile, as we cling to this flimsy figment of the imagination, like some faded old photograph that has been coloured in with the rainbow tints of time…and as we white-knuckle grip with sheer determination to the supposed “safe” feelings of our youth…we make the present day situation ever more untenable, consumed by fear of change itself.

Because, haven’t I learned this so painfully; the more I cling to some version of the past, the quicker my own most-positive and momentus evolution process falls apart, that momentum collapsing like a hologram as soon as the power switch of “doubt” is flipped. And that’s not to say the profound evolution that felt so real a moment earlier was a figment of imagination, since the whole of reality (it is being shown) is nothing but a series of holograms so what I was experiencing was as real as any other reality on offer, until it became unstable through doubt and so collapsed. But in the earliest stages of its existence, that belief hologram is flimsy and requires consistency in its application; you could say, it needs the positive-power left on day and night. As we manifest our newest realities, especially those that look very different to what we have ever known before, we need to see those realties all around us as the very wallpaper of our life (we can play a part in ensuring this through how we spend our time and who we engage with) and believe in them constantly in order for them to emerge from the shadows and stay there, becoming our next new world.

And here was the shocker, as my dawn reverie brought all these realisations to life; just as Greg Braden invites us to see what look like all the disasters and untenable problems of the world as “the rewiring of a whole new world” so that we can start to perceive them as the very basis for a whole new way of living and interacting with this planet (as successfully or more so than ever before) I see how I have been doing that very same thing in my recovery process….mostly….

Embracing the “new normal”

Because the trip wire in all of this is to believe all our efforts must be about “returning things to normal”. In our approach to the ecological issues, so many people, countries, organisations etc believe our objective is to return things back to the way they were “before”, whenever that was. Devastatingly, people put their whole lives on hold, like they have pressed a pause button, while they wait for this thing to occur, like they are living the lives of zombies, half asleep in terms of their true vitality until someone wakes them up and says “you can open your eyes now, we’re back where we were…” In massive swathes, countless numbers of people worldwide are now losing their vision of a possible future because they are so firmly fixated on the way things were and wanting to get to “get back” such a thing, which is slipping through our fingers like sand, and so this mentality becomes the truly devastating force of our times, shooting us in the foot…

Meanwhile, we don’t put our full energy, our excitement, our ingenuity, our effort and our vision into the new world that is appearing faintly on the horizon. Rather, fuelled by our most fearful and childlike emotions, we keep chasing that other more-familiar and comforting reality that is rapidly disappearing over the opposite horizon and so we look backwards instead of where we are all meant to be all headed together. This is a critical situation and, I suspect, the very biggest threat to our survival.

Behaving like this, we make ourselves untenable on this planet “as it now is” and I know this so intimately because of the fact that I have been making myself untenable in my own body “as it now is” believing I had to get back to my old body and, meanwhile, rejecting the one I am in!

I’ve spent my efforts, consciously or otherwise, comparing my present body to some sort of norm set by doctors and text books when, really, many of my experiences are atypical due to what I perceived as the “damage” of many years chronic illness…because the body I have now is not even remotely like the one I had when I was younger or even half a decade ago. What looks like the ravages of ill health has altered so many of the most fundamental processes that take place unseen in the depth of the body that there is no unravelling its tangle now, though I have spent many years using many different modalities trying to and then demoralising myself at my lack of success. The same applies in all healing journeys…when the objective is strictly to “get back” to where they were before, people get stuck whereas those who transform beyond recognition are those who realise they can never be the same; they are rewired in ways that constitute an evolution and those that truly thrive would even say they don’t want to go back to where they were; that this new norm is, in ways that can be hard to define, better.

(Its not the first time I have considered this with the more-conscious portion of my mind…) what if the rewiring that has undoubtedly taken place in my body, rewiring that is so complex that to looks like a major problem when compared to a text book human of optimum health (what we love so dearly to hold out as “normal”…) is actually the new wiring of a future human prototype? What if the cascading alterations at the level of such deep cellular behaviours that typify some of the most mystifying illnesses of modern times can’t be reversed…but can be built upon as the new human as soon as we befriend then and approach them with curiosity? What if me and those like me have made so many different choices, taken so many different turns and omitted so many typical influences in our tireless efforts to reinstate our own sense of equilibrium that we simply can’t rewind our bodies, ever again, to where everybody else suposedly is, in the benchmark of normal-land; nor should we want to (if only we could stop seeing this through the eyes of an old paradigm). Again, I have considered and written about this many times before but am now, finally, understanding just how crucial it is that I hold onto this viewpoint unwaveringly, not just on the surface as an intriguing academic idea but all the waythrough all the layers of my physical and non-physical bodies in harmony. I need to recruit my very cells, indeed the very quantum voids inside the most microscopic aspects of my physicality, into this viewpoint and, to do this, I have to turn fear off and get my subconscious mind on the team…

Accepting “what is” as the basis for exploring potential (no longer lamenting perceived “lack”)

As soon as this three o clock in the morning realisation dawned on me, the excitement that reverberated through my body told me what I needed to know, like I had hit the bullseye in my evolutionary journey. As soon as the impetus was taken out of “getting back” to how things were (and when was that exactly…do I start with a decade ago when my health most rapidly unravelled, or do I go back to before all the traumas of my 20s, to the lead and mercury exposures of my childhood…to the viral and emotional load of my mother when I was in the womb…?) I knew I was holding something so powerful in my hands. I saw with stark clarity how I had been paralysed for the longest time in a prolongued state of grieving for my “old body”, my “normal” state of health, the way things “were before”…even though, being honest with myself, they were never so very great or typical and certianly not optimum, in fact I enjoy a far broader set of body awarenesses now, which I would be very loathe to surrender. In fact, I had been prepared to trade almost anything to regain that old state of “normal” and yet, with this new clarity, I was left wondering why it had ever had such a hold over me since I didn’t really know what it felt like, its very existence an illusive fairytale held in concensus by many other beings, just like our collective nostalgia over “the past”. Yet the more I believed I had diverged from this state of “normal” the more I had allowed myself to believe I was doomed…and isn’t this the collective fear in a nutshell?

Because when not taken as coming from “the opposite factor”, the “dark” or the “faulty”, seen from the separation viewpoint that “bad things had happened to mess with me”, I could now see that I was holding what could only be the product of a holistic viewpoint that says it was all meant to be…and the only conundrum is how to get my subconscious mind over the fear of the unknown in order to embrace and make use of this new me, exploring it with curiosity not dread. The same goes for all of us; and for our collective world viewpoint, surely.

Now as luck would have it, and perhaps this is why I had this middle-of-the-night epiphany, I have been working concertedly towards getting my subconscious mind over the hurdle of fear-based reactions this last few weeks. Since delving the topics of my recent blogs about fear over technologies that my body already reacts adversely to and thus the health deterioration I fear (for myself, other humans and all other species) as this new stage of technologies is rolled out (note reliance on the term fear) I knew I had but one choice if I was to get through this and survive to then thrive though those imminent changes. I needed to up-develop my own neuroplasticity…with knobs on; and I had to do it quickly, using every resource I have at my disposal.

In other words, realising that I couldn’t alter or even slow-down the momentum of outside events, I had to prepare my body to work with the changes that were coming….and I had to put myself, and this task, first above all other things in a way that old me might label “selfish” but I knew this was just so important; my life’s work, if you like. I had to consider, deep down, that my very survival relied on it and that, in taking this on, I did it for all others anyway since, at the level where we are all connected in the quantum field, these new responses to fear ripple out across the collective in literally “no time”, becoming more widely available as a quantum leap in how people react to change.

And so, by asking myself what I most needed to step forwards into this new era (this is an important question to ask yourself!), I put together a kit of support approaches ranging from the obvious and practical, such as diet with a major focus on consuming heavy-duty antioxidants to tip the balance of the massively increased free radical load I could sense my body was now under siege from (fear also contributes to that…), to harmonising my thoughts and my very environment. I installed a state of the art product (more on that soon or message me if you are curious) to harmonise my living space like never before, giving me a leg-up in the recovery phase. In fact I was so convinced and compelled by this new product (which “happened” to present to me within a day of deciding to turn this healing process into one of “working with”) and by its scientific, as well as “alternative” credentials that both my left and right hemispheres are “on board”, which is important. I began meditating twice daily again, for the first time in years, and got straight what that was intended to be for me…which is not all about “going off planet” but being more fully, commitedly here in physical form. I considered carefully my exposure to books, videos and other inspiration and put together a curriculum of sorts to keep me focused, excited and inside of the evolutionary frame of mind. I asked for, and quickly received, new tip-offs about mercury and lead detoxification, without side effects (more on that soon) since these substances in the body tend to hold the charge of all the old traumas we ever carried in our cells, even after we have done the emotional clearing, sending us back into loops or resonance with other toxins in the environment. So, of course, I looked again at that emotional clearing work, not by repeating it but by allowing myself to appreciate what I have already done so thoroughly and to know…very deeply now…that there is nothing left to clear since all of these approaches are working together to reattach all those fragments of self that ever thought they were separated or in opposition to me (they’re not and they never were)!

I’ve compiled all these approaches and some others that include seeking the support I need from a real time healer and from an online one that I am finding newly helpful and “in sync” with the themes of this blog (intuitive and energy worker Lee Harris whose input I called on many years ago but who feels just right for these times, once again…I will attach a link to a powerful audio below and recommend  all his recent material as support tools). These tactics are rapidly becoming a new methodology that is self-driven and quite determined to glean the evolutionary potential of how I am now, no longer craving some sort of throw back that would be far too outmoded for where I now am or for what lies ahead, even if I managed to wind the clock back (which is impossible and would involve winding back all of the skills I’ve developed along the way). As a sensitive being, I have learned to hone and appreciate these skills above all others and this is so important for the era ahead…

The new era of the sensitive soul

So I want to address this thought nugget to all sensitives that happen to be reading this post. If you too have seemingly struggled all the way along until now, if you have felt like the minority, the singular voice in a crowd and felt lonely or unheard, like you are being swept along by other people’s priorities which grate with your own, those times are about to change too and you will find yourself being part of a much needed body of very experienced and skilled individuals leading the way into this vast new territory. Its not that you are about to stand still while the rest of the world catches up to your higher degree of awareness and, yes, their own version of increased sensitivity (which might not be the same as yours so don’t expect to find too many people prepared to talk about this yet; but they will get there in their own way). Rather, you are about to take your own leap forwards into an even more evolved state; yes, you too are about to change once again but, this time, it won’t be so traumatic or exhausting as it has been, but you do need to overcome your fears around this change process and embrace the new as it comes forwards (again, Lee’s work will support you hugely through this territory). You are needed more than ever and, by dropping the fear, you can reach for your rapidly evolving skillset all the sooner and with such a new sense of fulfilment within reach.

So I am deep into a process…and I won’t pretend this process has become easy yet but then I know I am in a birthing canal and so, as yet, it seems dark and unknown as I feel all the regular contractions come through me…oscillating and powerful… so its up to me to keep interpreting those as a cue to move forwards, not back towards the the familiar yet now untenable place I have had to leave forever. We have all been through this birthing process before and we can draw on it now, with powerful effect, just as soon as we realise we are going through the same familiar process once again, consciously and quite crucially, part-way through our human lives, and that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. In our very core, we already know the ropes…

Knowing when and how long to grieve…and when to move forwards into the new

Which leads me full circle to how I started this post; where I talked about the grief that Gregg Braden discovered he had to deal with even before his mother passed. This inevitably got me thinking about the grief I felt over my mother’s death (like him, I can also recall how that began as paralysis and overwhelm several months before she died, as her personality began to slip away because her mind became absent and confused….) At the time, I wasn’t prepared for the terrible trauma of her loss and so I failed to grieve enough or appropriately when she died…in fact, the process only began two years later with a synchronicity that prompted me (I found a four leaved clover on the ground; finding these everywhere was her special gift yet I had never managed to find one in my life before…and then realised it was the second anniversary of her death). With that opening, my grieving started in earnest and it was cathartic in ways I can now only regard as positive because it changed me profoundly and set me on a path. The way that grief processed through me for the next few years became the catalyst for my awakening process as I was now linked to someone “behind the veil” and actively seeking connection “out there” on a daily basis; and so I began to see the positives of her passing when she did, even though I was very young, since it enable my own evolution to build momentum and for me to be changed oh-so evolutionarily in the process….and I knew that she knew, and agreed to, her part in that process. We use this phrase, don’t we: “good grief!” Well, good grief opens us up; it doesn’t shut us down and then we process through it, evolved to a whole other level.

I share this because, as I am seeing it, we kind-of have to do the same with our grief for the old world which, if we are but honest, has already gone into the final stages; here but not really here anymore. We must grieve, yes; as not to grieve is to leave the trauma inside of us, undealt with and denied, walled up as a blockage to our own wellbeing and evolution potential. However, staying locked into grief only paralyses us on the edge and we have to find a means to break through to get to it; to process and move on. Knowing, as I came to realise, that what we grieve over is complicit in the process that “causes” our grief is an enormous help; in the most enlightened place of my “knowing”, I sense that our planet (our Great Mother) is fully complicit in all that we are experiencing and experimenting with right now, as a necessary process on the way to our highest evolution. If she wasn’t, she would have flicked us off her surface, as a toxic annoyance, a long time ago…

The longer we delay the beginning of that grieving process, the tougher and more like a prolonged struggle it will be because our subconscious minds will be trying to get us back to a world where things are like they “used to be” and thats just not possible and never really was. We didn’t lose that opportunity through some sort of mishap, it was always meant that we would evolve into something new at this stage but we had become so attached to the old ways for so long that this is rippling through us like a prolonged trauma pulsing through the collective. It is having the effect of paralysing or at least slowing down all of our best efforts when, in reality, we have all the resources and ingenuity we need to turn things around to a new and even more wonderful reality.

Once we start to glean the positives of the loss we have been through, we process through the paralytic sadness far quicker and we start to use it as a catalyst for something new…something we couldn’t even imagine before the loss was experienced. How many people have gone on to have such experiences after the devastating loss of a loved one and yet…that loss set in motion such powerful changes that their lives are never the same again; indeed, they begin to feel like it all happened to some sort of higher design.

So what if we could allow ourselves to believe that all the undoubted chaos and destruction of these times is all happening to some sort of higher design…and that the sooner we jump on it with all our best efforts and creativity, the sooner we can bring the positive fulfilment of that about.

If all our innovators, our scientists, our creatives, our inspirational leaders (in fact, a whole new generation of leaders…) could stop hankering over the past and a reality that certain individuals have invested in so heavily that their motivations are often skewed on all our behalves (think all the vested interest of the petrochemical industry), we might be able to glean all the potential of the new world up ahead. Yes, it has all new “wiring” and (like me in my peculiar body and some of the odd-feeling things that it does) there is no way of working out how that works except to keep out of fear and keep trying it out from the floor-level upwards…but together, we can all get there and create a reality that far exceeds the rose-tinted daydreams of our comforting yet quite illusional past.

We are in a collective growth spirt, birthing together into something yet to be seen and, like any thriving newborn reminds us, it takes just a matter of hours or handful of days to acclimatise to a whole new and bewildering environment like we have been in it forever…as soon as the confident assumption is that we are meant to be in it and that we are supported and sustained by it.

Undeniably, cultivating those feelings of support, of sustainability…of safety…is key to this “working”, just as I have had to realise that cultivating my own sense of safety, whatever happens to be playing out in the dramas around me, is so crucial to turning a massive corner in my health. Yet if we all stopped looking backwards and panicking over what is already lost, like a precious object just flew out of our hand and we are stood watching it in slow motion as it hurtles away over  a cliff edge, we might turn around on our heel and notice what we DO have and get on with things now, together. We would be better prepared to acclimatise to the “new norm” which, yes, will involve new weather, new challenges, new priorities, new ways of doing things and yet we are designed to keep apace with these kinds of changes just as soon as the conscious desire is there. Our very desire to take part is the lynchpin!

Am I prepared to evolve? (Echoing Lee Harris) we absolutely need to ask ourselves this…and to ask it not only of our thinking heads but of our body cells, of our guts, of our very energy field, of the subconscious thoughts that run beneath the surface. Once we have our answer…the true commitment to seeing this through…our conscious minds need to become the guardians of that intention and work to orchestrate the consistency of the desire at every level of the being that we are. Ultimately, it all comes back to personal choice…and each choice a contribution to the whole…but given a choice of nostalgia and endless grief or optimism and endless possibility, I know where I am at.


Gregg Braden books and video resources, including:

Lifeline Master Series with Gregg Braden (with anecdote about his mother as refered to)

What Does Adapting to the new normal mean? (and other videos in that series)

Support tools from Lee Harris, words and music which I have found incredibly supportive of making that subconscious change with repeated listening:

The Way of the Sensitive: Evolving in Tumultuous Times – Lee Harris with Davor Bolzic

Light Years (2019 – 2022) The Era of Higher Harmonics  – Lee Harris with Davor Blozic

Posted in Books, Consciousness & evolution, Health & wellbeing, Life choices, Life journey, Personal Development, Recovery chronic illness, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Becoming superconscious

We all know about our subconscious mind, though we may struggle to grasp just how much this takes care of, for us, in the average day. We mostly think about, and celebrate, the conscious mind and the popular idea of “expanding” it though, fact remains, we only use an average estimate of just 10% of our brains consciously, in our daily lives; the rest goes on in the unseen realms “under the hood”, so to speak. So, many of us have worked at growing our consciousness, bringing our “inner” (and, in the vastest sense, “outer”…) processes into full view, for many years, but what does that mean; what responsibilities and pitfalls does it entail and do we really want to take care of things that we don’t normally have to think about or to deal with? Of course, that all comes with the territory…we can’t have our cake and eat it; with expanded consciousness comes more awareness, more involvement, seemingly much more to take responsibility for…

GB quoteEarth is a giant mind too; in fact, we are it and it is us (and if you haven’t grasped that yet, I direct you at some of the reading matter at the end of this post). As we step into this next era of human evolution, this is only going to be come more (painfully?) apparent. Because when we work so hard at expanding our consciousness, which is to stick our fingers into matters that used to be run “for us” under the surface, we open a vast new potential to “mess up”. Just like having to think about how or when to breathe, to pop enzymes into the gut, to release a perfect balance of certain chemicals into the bloodstream at just the right moments would be a nightmare for any human being whose consciousness is trespassing on those areas (ask anyone with chronic health issues what this feels like and you will realise its like opening a huge can of worms…), sticking our fingers into the pie of managing the global consciousness and, indeed, all the unseen aspects of “running” a planet, with all of the most delicate ecological and biological arrangements this entails, could get messy…very messy indeed.

This has been the story of the last few hundred years, as human beings have so assiduously worked at controlling more and more of the planet, and yet it has never been more poised to turn into a disaster zone, as we vastly accelerate our involvement in matters of which we have no real understanding. Why do we make such a mess of this involvement, apart from this fundamental lack of understanding which, you would think, would teach us even more quickly where we are going so very wrong through all the hard-knocks along the way? Because, as it stands, we’re still wrapped up in so many ulterior motives, subplots and agendas that we are not really interested in the wellbeing of the whole…you could say, our intentions are not clear. With fear, greed or a desire for control, power or manipulation motivating us, we make a mess of our interference with all these subconscious processes, whether we do this at the individual level or at the global.

And if you’re wondering what the subconscious processing of the planet looks like, its all those things that the planet takes care of “for us” such as the ecosystem, the weather, the way microbes, enzymes, bacteria, cells, food chains, rock formations, chemical balances (need I go on?) get on with things without our knowledge or say-so and at blindingly fast speeds that we could never keep up with (just like the processing speed of the subconscious mind). We don’t know even the half of all that stuff yet…not even nearly…whatever our egos, or our scientists, might tell us and yet we think we are ready to get involved in all these processes, at the frequency level, on the planetary scale, which is to truly mess with the unseen realms? I take my hat off at the sheer, audacious stupidity of such an idea yet I guess its no different to what we all do, at the personal level, when we immerse our whole bodies into a particular vibe that’s not conducive to healthy functioning, be that repeated negative thinking or any kind of toxic exposure that we know about yet put up with anyway (could be something we eat, our own pattern of negative thoughts or the unhappy marriage we tolerate…) yet assume it will have no long-term detrimental effect on our health. The reality is, it has a monumental effect on all the unseen processes within the body and, in time, could crash our whole system…

Don’t I know this…as someone who has come to realise, over and over again, that to heal I need to rid myself of all fear-agendas, all outmoded and limiting beliefs and certainly of all ulterior motives, in order to shift to that higher ground of healing. And its tricky…heinously tricky…because bedded deep into that subconscious mind, as well as all the stuff to do with keeping all the body functions working, is a whole other stockpile of stuff which is very old…you could say “historic”. Its made up of all the many stories of “mankind” that we ever told about ourselves, or had told about us, across multiple lifetimes, plus all the “bad situations” that ever played out, like a cesspool of memories stored up as one giant cursory tale… and its primarily fear and lack based. It tells us that to survive, we must get down and dirty…must fight for control…must always be in charge…must grab the wheel first in order to create what “we think” is best for the whole; and this is whether we’re talking at the individual or, guess what, at the global level once again.

So, kind-of inevitably, we’ve reached this point in our mass-human story too. Human consciousness wants to expand, its tired of being the minority 10 percent player on this planet versus all the subplots that nature has running all around it and it demands to get more involved. So much of what “goes on” is still dictated by Mother Nature; we don’t really know what happens under that hood (though we like to assume an awful lot, based on science that hardly skims the surface of the precarious domino effect that keeps our world standing). Like the human mind, the global mind thinks it has to take over more territory of control…to expand its involvement and then dictate a certain tune, for all things to march along to. And so our telecoms (which is about so much more than telecoms…) are rolling that out now…as surely as though our nervous system was developing a new infrastructure of synapses to feel their way into matters that don’t really involve them and, maybe, shouldn’t…

I know what that feels like…when your nervous system gets involved in areas that never used to concern it, you have to be prepared to take over the controls of functions in the human body that bewilder and defeat you; and it only gets (a lot) messier before it gets better. Try having to micro-manage every aspect of your health, every day of your life, for a few years in order to keep the basic equilibrium that others take for granted (the story of anyone with autoimmunity or other chronic “mystery” illness) and then tell me this is fun? All kinds of trauma, interference, toxins and other epigenetic influences can unravel these everyday body processes so thoroughly and fast, cascading an array of symptoms as once-automatic functions go array, that a person doesn’t know what hit them. Yet, somewhere in there, I learned something important from the experience and its going to lead me to this…

So I’m going to surprise even myself here and say “maybe this all has to happen”. Maybe we cant get any further in our evolution without first expanding our involvement into the no-go domain of the global consciousness, where (as it were) all human consciousness is pooled together into a mass experience that (ever-increasingly, thanks to the communication explosion) we all seem to be having together. This pooling of experience is already happening of course; the global mind is “a thing” whether we are aware of it or not (though when was the global mind ever truly free from manipulation; for as long as there have been politics, fear-mongering and advertising, this has always been the case…). Now, the global mind is on the verge of being dictated to like never before, through the roll-out of frequencies that can orchestrate the very way people think and experience the world, to some sort of global agenda, since it will be everywhere using bandwidths that are crucial to the unseen processes of the human body. Apart from the degree of abuse that this will open us up to in terms of the mass-scale manipulation of belief systems (indeed, of the very version of reality that we will be subjected to…using the subconscious mind of everyone as the bandwidth of delivery), and all on an unprecedented scale, there’s a whole array of other problems in store for those who think this is such a good idea. This is just like when the minority 10 percent of the human brain (with its limited experience of all those matters that the subconscious mind is used to taking care of) thinks it can dictate to the whole of the body; before long its “oh, whoops, how do I keep those finely tuned chemicals in balance, what does that connection do exactly…oh and I’m meant to keep all of the body organs, glands, synapses and cells happy and optimally working, all at the same time; how do I do that? Oh dear, I seem to be feeling unwell”. Likewise, the whole planet could be feeling unwell and in crisis pretty soon as a tiny minority try to decide how it will be for all of us from now on, against the gut feelings and sound advice of so many people…

So how could this serve us? In my own journey, this systematic breakdown of my health over the last decade and a half (typified by the sense that my body was being interfered with by a degree of awareness that was interfering with its processes…) has also been a powerful stage in my deeper understanding of how chronic illness happens and how to evolve myself out of it; completely altered yet grateful for the upgrade effect that would have, otherwise, eluded me.  Yes, I feel vastly evolved compared to the person I was before I came into such a state of crisis. However, before getting even close to that realisation, things had to get really messy. When we expand our consciousness, we make conscious all sorts of dark and dusty corners of our subconscious operating system that, once shown light of day and perhaps cleaned down a little, suddenly (ironically) find they cant function so very well because its like making the riding of a bicycle or the walking of a tightrope conscious…before you know it, you’re losing your balance. As soon as we bring opinions into a domain that should be allowed to get on and do what nature intended it to do best, we go into some sort of wobble that just keeps on wobbling…

Which is the inherent risk of thinking we can get involved in the global mind at every level, using frequencies that will mess with more than just humans…in fact, affecting every form of life, from microbes to insects to all forms of wildlife, to plant cell behaviours, to the weather systems, to the cycles of water creation, to the ratios of one life form to another…and onwards. Catastrophe could be around the very corner when we mess with these processes that remain, largely, in the dark to our conscious minds and, in many cases, best left so…so we’d better be prepared to take over all of these crucial tasks (I hope that they have a fleet of robot bees that can handle all the work when the real ones are made extinct, for instance) or our our world is going to flounder, big-time and quickly…

Yet, didn’t I say above, maybe this is necessary; even desirable? Well, these painful growth spurts sometimes are, as I have learned (the hard way) because there’s nothing like floundering to make you realise the limit of your territory…forcing you to evolve so quickly….to get out of your own way…and to know where to pull back; not necessarily to where you were before but back outward to some other place, where you can see the whole picture, as from above. See it…know it like never before…be it in your daily life…allow it to experience what it wants to experience through you…yet seek to interfere with matters that don’t need to involve you less than ever before!

Because there’s another layer of consciousness and its called superconsciousness. Unlike the global consciousness, which is the mass-version of our individual human consciousness, beset with all kinds of distortions, insecurities and false beliefs, fears and unhealthy preoccupations, this level of consciousness is far beyond all that and has no agenda whatsoever…none…except, perhaps, to be a vehicle, or rather space-holder, for embodied awareness and for evolution, which is the very driving force of the universe.

When I pull back to this place, if Im truly honest with myself (which is all I can ever be from its perspective) I know there is no turning the human technological evolution around. We cant put the jack-in-a-box back into the box. We don’t want to go back to living separate and rudimentary lives (those that do, I suspect, do so as reaction to what they don’t like about the current paradigm more so than a desire to go back to such basic and difficult lives). In my own case, for instance, Ive been nursing some halcyon idea of pulling back to some remote, rural place to live out the rest of my life in peace and relative tranquility but, when Im honest, I know that won’t serve my needs because I love to share, to connect, to expand, to innovate and experience newness and variety…and how do I do all that without connectivity? I need this revolution in technology as much as the next person and yes, when I’m completely honest, I desire it!

What makes me hesitate, what makes any of us that are aware of the bigger picture hesitate, is the feeling that this is being done for some other agenda, which is to control and manipulate human consciousness, not to embellish and support it. While greed and power drive an agenda, there is always this risk and when we get into the realms of involvement into areas that we have never trespassed into before, this gets serous. The micro to the macro, its no different in the individual human; when fear, lack, a desire to control outcomes or to run any sort of agenda has got into my healing process, all my efforts to attain some sort of “evolved” new level of health have, similarly, crashed and burned all around me…every time.

So, how do we expand from the 10% involvement in our own consciousness to achieving a bigger portion without all the collateral as we (inevitably) fuc&-up our first few attempts? Maybe we cant, maybe its a growth curve we have to jump onto or risk being paralysed on the edge of an old world that is no long enough for any that are on this evolution trajectory. Yet what about all the chaos and mess this could unleash, as above?

So the next question is, what have those of us who have worked at growing our own consciousness, evolving past the pitfalls, learned? What can we do differently; can we drive out those old fear agendas, such as vulnerability, lack, greed and power, and make use of this growth infrastructure for better things, beyond all agenda except to connect and expand consciousness? In other words, can we hook it up to a higher bandwidth…not one of those frequency bandwidths they keep talking about auctioning for 5G but the bandwidth of our superconsciousness, where all higher intentions stem from?

fuu-j-1154532-unsplashNot only do I think we can but I think we have to make this the next leap; just as I have realised I have to do to make the next stretch in the stuck-place of my personal health. In my case, I have to leave behind all presumptions about what is humanly possible and harness the power of belief in something else, beyond the limited human perspective, without trying to control the outcome or drive it from behind using my fears. As ever, the same applies on the global scale. We all have to want to reach this place of superconsciousness so quickly now that we are the ones that flush this new level of connectivity with our highest vibes; pushing to the very edges all manipulation and agenda to make room for a degree of human connectivity that has never existed, in physical form, before. The highest vibe will always prevail when we we don’t keep defaulting to the “typical” range of vibes on offer, which will be more belligerent than ever, coming at us as they will from every airwave, all around us, day and night. One of these sources of low-vibe, which could floor us in our attempts, is the very fear-vibe around the technology itself since its well proven that negative beliefs influence outcome (see Greg Braden’s excellent book below). When we believe we’re doomed, guess what, we become the self-fulfilling prophesy!

So we have to know the power of our own human minds at this point; that to flood this worldwide system with negativity could serve as the very instrument that wraps the global consciousness in such a blanket of fear that we collapse our own field. We can do what we feel compelled to do but we need to keep out of the fear vibe…I stress that above all things; from personal experience, it undoes everything. Be mindful of your thoughts; low-vibe throughts only deplete your energy. Never underestimate the power of love in this context; as the “flip-side” of fear, it can be so quickly turned on and flooded into places where fear once, so conveniently, held a space (thank you fear…you can go now). Know the limits of your physical involvement…whist never underestimating the power of your other-dimensional abilities. There’s a trip wire, born of human arrogance, where consciousness expansion leads us to believe we have to take charge of everything we’re now more fully aware of in a physical sense…That’s just a phase of infancy that we pass though on the way to a new maturity, on the other side, where we see oh-so clearly that we really don’t have to at all; that we take part through unblinkered awareness alone. Learn to let go of the need to control everything; which is deeply entrained into the human psyche but some of the greatest leaps only occur when we just stop doing that thing (don’t I just know that from experience). Take responsibility for the vibration you put out, whether expressed “out loud” or not, since we all transmit this information via the invisible frequencies that connect us with other people, all the time. Collectively, we have to uplift our global vibe, incidental of 5G delivering its own vibrations, to the highest level achievable…tune into 5D and above…and then let go of trying so hard (where we push against all the time, because trying so hard only keeps us entrenched in the three-dimensional mosh pit). Doing so transports us higher, way beyond such petty agendas into the realm where we are already super!

To make all this easier, and I will write more on it at some future point, we need to draw on everything we know that we know but currently side-line or fail to draw on as daily resources. If you have been on a consciousness expansion journey for a number of years, you will probably know what I am talking about; we have all gathered powerful tools along the way but may have become lazy or undisciplined about using them in our everyday lives…well, now is the time to use them, meditation (which I have returned to, twice a day) being amongst them. Before now, I was one of the many people that I frequently encounter ready with complacent, even very compelling sounding, excuses why I didn’t need that practice in my life any more but I have now reversed that thinking, with powerful effect; like these tools were just waiting for these times.

These linkages, the comparisons, I keep making between human mind and global mind, by the way, are no mere metaphor…we are all inherently connected to that global mind, we each drive it along far more powerfully than we know, so in doing this work “as the individual” we do it for all, crucially tipping the balance…perhaps even having the last laugh as the new era of connectivity serves as the infrastructure to roll out a level of positivity that, until now, has relied on far less tangible means of communication. When we make all our interactions, via any means, the highest-vibe we can muster, driven not by old stories of fear and lack, we up-grade the entire system and allow for what currently seems so cutting-edge yet fatally flawed to be a mere stepping stone, a brief teething phase for our planet on the way to some other sort of evolutionary burst…the main event, way beyond all the commercial hype…that is just waiting to happen on the other side.

Valuable Resources:

Just a couple of resources if you want to do research, or be encouraged, regarding the full potential of the human mind:

The Spontaneous Healing of Belief – Greg Braden

Becoming Supernatural – Dr Joe Dispneza

Also, some higher perspectives on 5G that feel in sync (I just discovered Amanda Ellis’s video, below, since publishing this article but recommend it for being on just the same wavelength):

5D, 5G & high-frequency consciousness – Elizabeth Peru

From 5G to 5D – stop the fear!!! – Amanda Ellis

Posted in Consciousness & evolution, Life choices, Meditation, Menu, Personal Development, Recovery chronic illness, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

…and now, really act like you’re awake

I’ve just come from a 3 hour-plus mediation to music since dawn, which felt like the pull-back-and-repair phase my body needed after a few days during which grief and a sense of hopelessness, like none I had ever experienced before, had hit me like a tidal wave (see earlier posts). Its done very much to get me back into my heart coherence, as I knew I must over what has been a powerful few days of total recalibration. Far more has shifted in these few days than I can adequately put into words.

During that “meditation”, amongst many other things, two distinct memories came up for me, set about ten years apart comparative to now. They were devoid of emotional charge but vivid; like watching a life review and, straight afterwards, the sense I got was that I had been shown these to demonstrate how awake I have become. In ten year increments, I could witness my awakening progress to see where I am now…how astonishingly far I have come.

This has been one of the most powerful gifts of these last few days, which is to have gained the profoundest sense of my own power and of seeing things clearly, without all the programs of old. I met with my energy healer, a couple of days ago and, this time, there was no preamble…I was straight into all the material that I can’t easily discuss with anyone else and she was right there with me, reflecting back how sovereign and in charge of these circumstances I really am. Though I am consumed with sadness, waves of fear (yes) and a human wish that things were different, there is such a deep knowing that they are exactly as they have to be. It’s buckle up and get ready for the ride time. This change-over in human eras is gigantian, not a mere step as, for instance, the transition into the twentieth century or even the beginning of the industrial revolution before that. Ginormous as those felt, this up-pace is inconceivably different and the world we once knew is already gone. Do you sense that, when you really tune in to your fully awake self? It’s gone and we are looking at a hologram made out of its dust cloud as particles play out the last rhythms of its long-learned behaviours. Whatever comes now marks the beginning of a whole other epoch and our nostalgia will get us nowhere except into denial and a degree of resistance that, quite possibly, hurts.

To own this is to graduate, and is to drop the last vestiges of pretence that we were clueless or that this thing was done to us against our knowing or our will. We are all part of this, we chose to be here at this time (if, indeed, we are) and we each have our part to play. And play that part we must if we are to hone this new world the way we envision it…the way we all want it, not just a handful who seem to be so determined to steer it for us all. Yes, incredible technologies are necessary, they are the very future but these have to be done the right way, with the right priorities, with a sense of the whole picture, not a minority-invested corner.

Yet we know things that they don’t, having done the consciousness work to drop all the scales from our eyes and really see that whole picture…whole in its wholest sense, not this little side theatre made up of three-dimensional things. So in we must all go to that new world, bravely and yes, with excitement and wonder in our hearts, or it will all be done their way.

So many topics could spin from this; such as that of an almost paralysing sense of responsibility some of us feel for the unsung world of other sentient beings, our very planet, their wellbeing and the room that needs to be made for them in this all-new paradigm…And yet, when I graduate, I am forced to own my own knowing that they are also sovereign beings, with their own awakening journey to contribute to this evolution of all, that they know what to do in their own way and that my fear over them only reflects my fear over myself. To know these things is to trust without having to have the logic to explain it all away and I am having to task myself with that in spade-loads this week, in the face of some of the most emotion-triggering topics I know.

That’s not to discount the part to be played by intuition, which is ready to tell us (more than ever) when we are headed off track…and those with this turned up need to be prepared to speak out, even when it triggers us to do so. Yet, in our awakened selves, we can learn to do this without the heavy load of emotion; sticking to “their” language of logic and reason (as we have spent a whole lifetime being entrained, by them, to do). We go in, we do or say what we have to and we return to our heart coherence, moments later; turning the outcome over to the winds, without investment or beating ourselves up. For many of us sensitives, this will come as such a relief.

We can also drop so much BS! Recognising where we are still subjecting ourselves to limiting beliefs, lack of self-love, our desire to “fit in” at all costs and a deference to information that, not so deep down, we know we don’t resonate with is a key part in all this and I challenge us all, myself included, to do this now. Our resonance-detector really has to become the key tool in our kit bag, on a daily basis; it will help us to quickly see thorough information that, in other ways, seems so credible and yet isn’t ours to know. We each have our own specialisms, our task area and when we stick to it, its as though the very sea parts to let us through…

Above all, to be awake is to know that we are enough, that our experiences are our own version of “laboratory”, that we have all we need, that every moment is a clue, that synchronicity speaks, that all is already well and ours is to remain curious and willing, not to drown ourselves in fear.

Sovereign Being

“Sovereign Being”, Helen White 2019

Perhaps that is the biggest thing I am owning this week; this “no-space for fear anymore” realisation as part of a new paradigm that, far from happening around me, is happening through me and me the influencer of it (as we all are). As I keep mentioning, heart-coherence is all, which is to get into that space where we are very far from abandoned and nothing can touch us… not just here and there, in special moments, in meditation at the end of the day but dropping into it many times over, whenever we need it, by cultivating the circumstances that support it (such as being creative, in nature or listening to music)…perhaps learning to do it all the time, regardless of circumstance, if we practice enough, as we must. Achieving this has become the prime goal of my life, that thing that takes absolute priority over all else…and, if so many of us do it, this will be enough to transform the world!

In this heart-coherent space, I quickly see through what’s not important (real though it may be)…where I give my energy away too freely…what depletes and distracts me. Even where valid actions present, I can see that perhaps they are actions for others and not for me; that to simply know they are valid and useful actions is to put that knowing out into the quantum field for somebody else, with a different skillset, to pick up.

Fully remembering how we all exist in “the field”, where energy speaks, and that nobody can truly interfere with that, however it may seem, is to claim that connectivity and power and amp it up…which we all must learn to do now, above all other pressing things. Each one of us is the drop in an ocean that is fully sentient and alive, that adds our vote to the swell and this knowing is where I see the barrenness of my former life, in those days of forgetfulness, lived in for so many years, where I didn’t realise that. So to truly know this is to realise the gift of these times, over any hardships or insurmountable problems. Because to be wide awake though challenged is more powerful by far than to be asleep and at relative ease…I see that now and, in seeing it, I notice that I have never been more charged-up than in these last few days of abject grief; for they have squeezed out of me the deepest knowing of self that I have ever experienced in human form.

And this is just the beginning; these times will continue to squeeze and squeeze us all until we are under no illusion that we are anything but awake and sovereign, that we are connected with all, that we are “family” with the whole universe and that we are here to mould our future together, not to be blown by the winds of other peoples’ self-interested beliefs and desires.

To feel like this is to be vital, to be truly alive and energetic beings in every sense of the word; and this is when we start to work with energy as the true masters that we are. There is no situation where we cannot apply what we know to change outcomes in ways that remain quite unfathomable to the scientific mind and this is what makes us such key players in the creation of a whole new world. So you have to want this, to be part of it and to cease harbouring the belief that tells you that you are not yet fully awake, that you are in long-mourning for the old world, that you are in the dark or a victim. If you have read this far, you are awake enough to own it all fully now and to realise that your contribution is as it should be, you have all you need to know within and all that remains is to listen and respond. The new world that arises from that has every possibility of being the greatest thing we could never even imagine before.

Posted in Consciousness & evolution, Meditation, Menu, Personal Development, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

On the other hand…

When we were training my dog as a puppy, several years ago, my daughter liked to do a trick where she put a treat on one of his paws, which he wasn’t allowed to eat until he was given permission to do so. Our dog became really good at this but would turn his head sharply to one side, to avoid seeing the treat, until he was told “OK” and then he would eat it, so quickly, it would just vanish in a gulp. You got the impression you could have put anything on that paw and he would have eaten it, regardless of what it was, so eager was he to grab it once “allowed”…

In effect, by turning his head, he was removing the treat from the equation, as though it simply wasn’t there…which, when you think about, is to remove the choice altogether…to say “there is no choice”, which has a very different energy to a situation where you are making a conscious decision between one thing or another. One makes for a predestined, limited scenario and the other for a masterful engagement with what it means to be consciousness in living form.

We all have choices in every moment of every day; choices that, though they seem trivial, affect trajectories far more life-altering than we often care to think about. We don’t enjoy thinking about this responsibility (a default position learned over many thousands of years, as though we made a “bad” choice once and lived to regret it)  and so, many times and in more situations than most people care to admit, we simply remove those choices from the picture, as though they aren’t really there. When we hand over the decision-making powers to others; be that regulatory bodies and governments or to other family members and people in our cultural “tribe” we are, in effect, twisting our necks around as though to not see the other options, removing them from sight. Even when we suspect we might not want to chose those other options anyway (so we think it doesn’t matter that they are removed from sight for us), as when we assume that those making decisions on our behalf have our best interests at heart, we are reducing ourselves into a limited being and forgetting our consciousness, each time we do this.

And sometimes, those things we avert our attention from are things that are being chosen for us by those that (our instincts tell us) don’t have our best interests at heart…yet, rather than tackle them, we pitch our gaze at some sort of alternate reality, which is very far from manifesting yet (whether you call that wishful thinking or practice of the law of attraction). This trend allows major, trajectory-altering, scenarios to unfold which are tantamount to our fundamental freedoms being taken away from us in plain sight, as by the roll-out of 5G (as I wrote about recently) and yet perfectly intelligent people shrug and say “what can I do, it can’t be stopped”. Most  people I have spoken to have done zero research about what this new technology will do to human beings or the ecosystem.

Even in the most “enlightened” communities, I see this behaviour in spadefuls. The cult of light worship has made so many people formulaic in their pursuit of that with which they want to engage themselves. If the choice of situation on offer involves outcomes that are dark-seeming, manipulative, nefarious, disturbing to think about or “low-vibration” as goes the phrase and, on the other hand,  alternatives that are so sparkly they might be the fairy on a Christmas tree (and equally out of reach, in practical terms, unless we get more practical in our choices…) they turn their attention to that sparkly fairy and hold it there, with all their might, Meanwhile, they ignore, as though its literally not there, all the dark underbelly of a world that persists in presenting very much evidence that we live in far from sparkly times.

Obsession with a distorted version of law of attraction (since it also advocates the need for action…) has done much to fuel this shot in the foot for what ought to be a more active version of spirituality in these precarious times. Whilst I wholeheartedly subscribe to the quantum viewpoint that we can alter outcomes by what we focus on and expect to happen, I have learned from experience one other very hard lesson to take in; being that the quantum choice only seems to hold sway and true sticking power when we make an ACTIVE choice, not a pre-designated one or those which, in many cases, are almost formulaic in the way we automatically favour the light over dark, before assessing the full situation. Its as though, in missing out the process of looking into the darker corners, our high-vibe choice loses impetus. People, as ever, become lazy, choosing light, light, more light without remembering why they are even making this very choice anymore. They become almost religious observers of a particular practice without getting down and dirty in the business of life, which is far less pristine than they would prefer and which, when we open up our entire awareness, within the human experience, involves seeing very much that is unsightly and disturbing…but to do so is a graduation of sorts.

My experience in Venice, which I wrote about recently, reminded me that we live on a thin line of potential between dark and light all the time, even if this is more manifestly tangible in some places, as an energy seemingly pouring out of a crack in the ground (for those of us who are acutely sensitive to the energy of place), than in others. Walking streets that hailed me with evidence of what was both exquisite and revolting in equal proportions was a powerful reminder of this in the lead up to a period of time when this would be taken to whole new levels of experience in the choices of my daily life. Life itself is a labyrinth and we hit constant dead ends when we don’t work with the light and dark equally, wherever they flow together. “Dark” is not inherently bad…but it can go that way when we leave it to its own devices for far too long, as we have in the last era; turning us into dreaders of dark, worshippers of light yet somehow caught in the middle.

“So which is it? Are we hopelessly fragile victims of events that are beyond our control, or are we powerful creators harbouring dormant abilities that we are only beginning to understand?…Which of these truths we experience is determined by the choices that we make in our lives, choices base on our belief.” (Greg Braden – “The Spontaneous Healing of Belief”.

So what if we will only transform the whole when we look both potentials equally in the eye and then stand up for own, no-longer conditioned, belief systems, knowing what we now do (which is to be aware in a uniquely human format)?

Our present reality is made up of some significant amounts of evidence of dark and nefarious “happenings” seeking to manipulate our choices and, indeed, our entire future reality…and yet. It seems we are made up of a vast population who are still fast asleep to such things, another layer that are lethargic and demoralised, having not yet discovered the power of remembering that we can alter realities using a consciousness they have forgotten they have and then…amongst those other people, the very people in whom I would hope to see signs of ACTIVE choice of one thing over another, I see only signs of so many heads turned acutely in one direction, refusing to see the other hand on offer and thus a failure to follow through with actions. They have pre-made their choice based on assumptions, scrubbed all thought of what they don’t want to admit is there like a bogey man under the bed and, as such, they remove all power from the choices that they make…

And to pre-empt anyone with the thought that, surely, by avoiding looking at what he didn’t want to see, my dog became very good at not having to deal with it, what I actually observed was the following. That, in not being “allowed” to look at that thing, he only wanted it more…like some sort of unreasonable craving, keeping him attached to it, and that’s how we are with all those things we want to be gone from our world so much that we’re pretenting they’re not there. The more we make them into the forbidden territory of our attention, the more they seem to hang around, like so-much unfinished business…because we’re not dealing with them fully!

Trying to open conversation about these darknesses, the very things we need to be aware are there in order to push off against them into another reality, I feel as though I am being stepped around, as though contagious. Its a conversation killer amongst friends that I would normally turn to for the kind of conversations that move mountains. I’ve received reactions varying from the downright scathing (as though I have achieved a poor mark in my spiritual homework this week for focusing on anything other than light…) to the “run to the hills” approach of those who say they just can’t bear to think about “all that stuff” going on and so, like my dog, they just pretend its not there, head turned sharply the other way. So all-pervasive has the idea of “light worker” become that many people reject dark themes with the idea that “its just not my area of expertise” or “my skillset”; as though they are a plumber and this is for an electrician to deal with…when really, to become whole, we all have to become all-rounders. These are powerful individuals who could make some serious inroads towards manifesting our new earth and yet they are rendered ineffectual through an old set of beliefs and so much fear around looking darkness in the eye, as well as seeing all the light potential.

One other meme I want to address on this topic is that to bring dark into focus is not to go against enchantment. Disenchantment is a very-major ailment of our times; something I can feel happening to whole swathes of people (especially noticable as I returned to the UK recently…Brexit and other disullusionment sources, that have seemingly robbed people of their freedoms and future aspirations, have played a big part, especially amongst young people) and its a topic I plan to write about soon. As I mentioned before, I am reading Sharon Blackie’s book “The Enchanted Life” and she is one of several advcates for a, very-crucial and timely return to encantment if we are to rebalance enough to move forwards with project earth and yet darkness is not the thing to remove or threaten it, per se. The truth of the awful state of our ecosystem is not the reason for our young people being so disenchanted with life, for instance; they are disenchanted with the lack of serious, practical responses being made by those who could pull-together and turn this around. So, rather than going against enchantment, when we allow ourselves to see both dark and light and remember how to work with both, we become re-enchanted as we relearn the magic of our own powers, like the magician achieving some new “trick” that eluded them before they mixed up different ingredients. We feel imediately uplifted…don’t we?…and like some sort of invisible weight has dropped from our shoulders when we tackle something head on and realise that we’re not the only one working for a different outcome. Imagine if we all set about transforming our physical world tomorrow; everything else, all self-interested commercialism, halted for a mass effort to confront what feels “off” about our current priorities and the mess we’ve made in our world. Just imagine all those feelings of pure enchantment that would flood in if this mircacle-in-action were to occur before our very eyes, even as we took an inventory of all the “dark stuff” to be owned up to.

There was a time when I saw all the prevalent light-obsession hanging around in spiritual people’s viewpoints and yet trusted that their stance, in its way, was enough…that these people tipped the balance, anyway, and that it wasn’t in their remit to get down and dirty on the frontline of heavy choices, as I seem to have picked for my own “entertainment”. Yet, as the matter of tipping our human scales becomes every more pressing, an existential decision that could make or break us very soon, I find myself increasing in frustration and despair to be surrounded by yet another version of  decision-avoidance. It has become apparent to me, in so many ways, across all the levels of life, that if we seek to make our spiritual selves into embodied spiritual selves, with an actual 3D planet on which to live, along with all our other dimensions fully intact, we have to prove ourselves with ACTION as well as focus. We need to DO and BE in equal proportion in order to effect the clicking-together of our yin-and-yang division point, to become the living, breathing whole that we aspire to be. We already know we can be (already are…) whole “out there”, somewhere off planet; the whole point of this earth exercise is to replicate this wholeness in a physical, earth-based reality, where we are prepared to stand up…in some very physical, manifest and practical ways…for our choices and the earth we want to live on, even if that involves looking at things we really don’t like to see. Compared to the transcendent life we have been leading until now (which has involved being out of our bodies more than in them, for a lot of us) comes very hard and yet, when we do it, we make magic happen. But…it requires more than just one of us doing it; and I am finding it so hard to rally people to that perspective that I am almost at the point of despair. I said almost…speaking my truth on these topics is one of my ways of taking the action of choice based on seeing as much of the whole picture as my awareness is capable of; we can ask no more of ourselves than that.

Yes, the world is full of activists right now, each with their particular cause bundle and yet, I know, to do only this is not quite enough. We also have those who, in their new-age (and more traditional) way, are all about praying for a better outcome. Then there’s those who (I truly hope) are coming to know that to bring in the power of conscious focus, the ability to make quantum choices for the light, whilst also seeing what we don’t choose as clear as anything in all its heinous “glory”, accepting this as a reality that is deserving of their acknowledgement (like a wounded child that is tugging at their leg…), is the most powerful combination of those two skillsets that we all possess.

To operate from both of these parts of ourselves (the human-immersive and the spiritual-overview), in equal balance, is the most powerful thing we can do right now. It will afford us astonishing results but it requires of us that we dare to look at all the dark in our periphery…see it, know its there, acknowledge it and then choose different because we dare to know what we are not choosing. By the way, to make a choice in the physically manifest dimensions requires action of a very particular kind and, though not an easy transition for those that prefer to direct their visualisations of a better world rather than get vocal, active and controversial, you know its what I’m talking about here. Like I said in my last post, we get all the plates spinning together in a powerful new way when we split our time between Doing, Being and Transcending; a trinity (or triskele) of priorities that is as ancient as it has largely been forgotten or misconstrued. Only the transcendent part is strictly “off planet” in the sense of not having an opinion about outcomes; the rest is fully engaged with the earth’s stories, albeit in different (linear and non-linear) ways of working through us.

There’s something about mixing up these two sides of our physical awareness in one soul that is quite alchemical, like making gold out of two substances that “should”, according to certain laws, never mix…and yet we can do this miraculous thing when we remember our full (physical and nonphysical, combined) potential. Yes, its not easy, can be dangerous, takes us very close to our edge (where I seem to be right now…) and we need to keep ourselves physically as well as mentally strong. Yet, when we master it, we ascend to the true mastery of another era that awaits us, just over the other side of the choice to be as we were always meant to be; in balance and whole. If many of us could bring ourselves to do it…to turn our heads to centre and see what lies on both sides of our binary earth-based reality (without the fear-based preconditioning of the previous era) and then still make the choice of will, we could turn this whole world around on a dime.

Posted in Consciousness & evolution, Divine feminine, divine masculine, Life choices, Menu, Personal Development | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments