Category Archives: Life choices

Walls of honey

In my last blog, I shared a story about the two thousand-year old fortress walls that I noticed were alive with loudly humming bees flitting in and out of a small hole in the mortar; how I took this as a sign of hope. It became, for me, a metaphor made manifest of how something built to be hard, rigid and intractable had been broken open by something small, soft, honeyed…and it was like imagining egg yoke running over from the edges of the most surprising kind of shell, broken open before my very eyes. It encompassed the feeling of the kind of surprise we are set to experience as our world…the world we think we know so very well, that many of us have become so jaded and derogatory about…breaks open to reveal an inner softness; its own honeyed centre waiting to pour out like the sustenance we are all waiting for… Continue reading

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Like a bee from a jar

Having just finished reading “Set Free: A Life Changing Journey from Banking to Buddhism in Bhutan”, I realise suddenly that finding others people’s stories like this is terribly important to me and I am actively looking for more like this. Perhaps it is a sign that I am ready to join up with other people, even if only so far as noticing similar patterns in our experiences and smiling quietly to see those patterns in motion. Crossing paths with others operating from a dramatically reformatted and yet remarkably similar place to your own can be such encouragement. There is a powerful point of creative evolution, a sort of concentrated forward momentum, to be found in the meeting place between your two sets of experiences and the many ways that they are found to correspond; like the essence of oneness in action.

This book corresponded with my own experiences of a “tear it up and start again” life very powerfully and the real gift is that its author was prepared to overcome her initial misgivings to share what she did. I experience the same wobble and doubts about sharing my own story every time I write a blog…yet it feels to me that sharing the journey of awakening could be the most important thing that I am doing with my life (apart from taking the journey itself…). As above, I really hope that increasing numbers of people are prepared to hold their spiritual journeys somewhat less close to the chest in order to put these experiences out there since I suspect the time has come when we really need the encouragement of each other. We long to sense that we are not alone on these very intense personal journeys and to notice the patterns; for in those patterns, and the making conscious of them, we give even more wind to our collective sails…(extract from “Like a bee from the jar”). #SetFree #SpiritualAwakening
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Don’t feel you have to ditch your story (unless you really want to)

Don’t throw your story away unless you want to…its about to become useful (those theories that you must put your story down are such old hat)! Like a kaleidoscope creates a new pattern every time we shake it, when we operate from the void of all creation, new patterns emerge in every moment and, from them, we derive meaning and insight. The story we have chosen to preserve about ourselves includes bits and pieces of all those preferences we have expressed across the years…books and films we dived into, nuggets of things that attracted our attention, places we travelled, small details, conversations, hardships that helped make us who we now realise we are, personal traits that bobbed up time and time again until we knew they were important…all held waiting for us to thread onto a new strand of understanding at some unforeseen moment in the future, only to fall off the thread and be recycled for another day just as quickly (nothing need be turned to concrete anymore and our story is retained as a much more fluid thing than we remember it ever being before). Continue reading

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Love letter to myself

The last decade has been a self-righting, a sort of rescue operation and a slow-steady reunion of two aspects of myself that had become exaggeratedly fragmented (I know now) expressly so I could learn how to put myself back together … Continue reading

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Creating from the place in the middle

Originally posted on LIGHT ON ART:
It feels like there is a leading edge thing going on where art and technology meet. They both pull me together and repel me, in equal proportions; the repellant part where I’m having to…

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A walk on the grass

Around that once avoided turn in the road could be the very next person we were meant to meet or the opportunity that alters our whole trajectory and which (by vertue of the fact we are prepared to meet the very thing that we previously avoided so studiously) we have shown we are now ready to receive. Thinking we know everything already or that we even know ourselves so very well can be a very limiting thing and the practice we gain in questioning all things is immense when we consider even those things that seem “obviously” out-of-bounds. After all, it is all just information wrapped up in different packages and working with information like this (receiving the occasional “yes’ where “no” was written on the label) can be another way of affirming how everything is working in our favour, all is on our side; in fact nothing could be said to be going against us when we are prepared to take our best assistance from all kinds of messengers, even those which once turned us away. Noting our aversions and those area of life where we still religiously follow rules that really don’t fit us any more can be another way of receiving such powerful data as well as growing ourselves past a whole other layer of limitations to expand our experience even more. Continue reading

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Ahead of time

“They say they built the train tracks over the Alps before there was a train that could make the trip. They built it anyway. They knew one day the train would come. Any arbitrary turning along the way, and I would be elsewhere.” Continue reading

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The rescue party of myself

Where have I been in this quiet time? Many “places”, meeting myself across timelines…quite tangibly; noticing how versions of myself have been meeting one another outside of linear time. In an epiphany that feels as strong as anything I have ever known about myself, I know now that this is quite true as I witnessed first-hand how this manifested as a line I thew “back” once (actually many times, but this occassion was exceptionally potent) to help an “earlier” version of myself get out of a hole. The me of now, in my place of unfettered choices born of an attitude to life that has unhooked me from many of the mindsets that trick us into feeling imprisoned; and with my newly unbridled creativity, with new projects on the simmer that bring me joy without attachment and the freedom with which to pursue them in a supportive and beautiful environment filled with sunlight and flowers, had sent this package back “in time” as a taster. Like a search party sent to recover the frightened child that I was, the vibration of my current reality had, in a very real sense, rescued her. In exchange, that “me” had sent forwards their child-like curiosity and relentless urge to experiment, their unbridled, multi-disciplinary excitement and absolute disregard for the opinion of others so that I could infuse what I am doing here, which had previously felt stale and stuck (in the way that adult projects so often make themselves) into the newly expansive sea of possibility and expression that I am currently playing with as my life. We met each other “across time” and we both stood to gain so much from the encounter. It was as though timelines collapsed and these versions of myself, of very different “ages” and stages of biological development, were stood side-by side, co-creating together. This is where I have been these last weeks and it is so tangible in ways that are feeding my creativity, my daily rhythms, my playfulness, my health, my ability to shake off so many of the heavy shackles of what we call adult responsibility and start to experience life through the heart of a child again. We can loose these kinds of expererience (or their true essence) just as soon as we get caught up on the semantics of trying to describe them to others; its one of the reasons I have gone very quiet, hardly writing or posting a thing as though nothing is happening…when, really, everything is….(read on). Continue reading

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On the crest of a wave

A revisit to “the past” can impart a sense of wholeness, like finding an aspect of self that we, in a sense, left behind there in another portion of our life and this can be profoundly evolutionary as well as making us feel like something so important just happened, though we hardy know what. Yet, important to note, its not that we need to wind any clocks back or try to live where we once were, nostalgic as we may be feeling; since we can know that what we have just “collected” on our brief trip to the past was enough, its all we need to bring forward with us and so we can move on now in a whole new way. Its like a quantum aspect of who we were then has now merged with who we are now to create another thing entirely; a third aspect that wouldn’t have been possible to achieve any other way…which is a quantum superposition in action. Suffice to say, the way we play this can lead to our next biggest stage of evolution on the way to a previously unrealised level of wholeness and, when it happens, the transformation can be pampable. I know this…because it just happened to me! Exploring the unexpected side-effect of a thirty year reunion and how it has been a quantum leap to a brand-new sense of personal wholeness and healing. Continue reading

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