Category Archives: Divine feminine

Like willow

In order to heal, we sometimes need the deep, telluric energy that is a manifestation of the feminine aspect to come up through our “roots” and to flush through he whole of our system without any of the rub-factor that generates the circumstancial furniture of our lives being used to grab onto it for creative purposes in attempted merger with the masculine aspect. At such times, even the gentlest of meetings with the masculine can feel all too much and we long (at some level that we often fail to acknowledge) to just surrender to the flow and let everything slip out of our white-knuckle grip. This can resemble a sort of death as we stop all but the most fundamental activity to just “be” in its purest sense; when, really, it is a rebirth. Like flushing out an old plumbing system that has started to hiccough and vibrate whenever it is in use, our whole energy system requires that one-way flush to occur, and for this to be repeated for as long as it takes, for deep and lasting healing to take place. Once we have re-mastered its free flowing emergence, we can integrate it more fully than ever before. Continue reading

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Good years without end

I’d watched this film over and over again for many years; and it was only when I recognised another story layered into it that I got its deeper message. Reappraising A Good Year; deeper than it looks. Continue reading

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Becoming

I have just turned fifty in the last week; something which I have approached with unbridled optimism and even excitement (none of the woe and sardonic humour that most people seem to apply) yet it is a formidable portal, nonetheless. As it approached, I seemed to garner my unseen arsenal of personal strengths about me as through preparing to wear them all in a new and no-longer apologetic way. It felt like that season of watching the fruit spring from where the blossom had once been and I’ve been smacking my lips on how ripe that all feels; how I relish the opportunity to wear all the deeper, stronger colours of myself and be all that I am without hiding any of it anymore. A week into stepping into what feels like the lush garden of my fifties and I am still ambling around bare-foot, touching all the trees, wearing a Mona Lisa smile upon my lips…

Sharing thoughts on several midlife transitions I am currently navigating; all of them proving to be as fascinating as they are unchartered territory. Continue reading

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To walk visible…at last

Was your fierce teenage femininity woken up and crystallised by Emily Brontë’s “Wuthering Heights”? Mine certainly was. I know I’ve thought of re-reading “Wuthering Heights” many times over the years – what stopped me, caused hesitation? Did I fear disappointment with what engaged me so as a girl like when you try to visit the most magical books of childhood and they’re just not the same, am I more squeamish of the dark than I used to be, or was it the thought of comparison…with where I am now…that I most dreaded? For, where is my inner Cathy, where are my wild moors; have I sold my life out to the Lintons, made nice and put wild plaything away? Or am I still promising them to myself “tomorrow”? Continue reading

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Where there is paradox there is God

Source doesn’t move into form packed in neatly arranged boxes. God is in the detail, yes; but God is also in the so-called empty spaces within. Particle and wave; both the visible, tangible shape and the utterly intangible, indefinable, flux, will-o’-the-wisp and butterfly on the wing, never to be pinned down or held there…not even for a moment; only, perhaps, seemingly as a playful wink in the catch-me-if-you-can game. This is why Source can’t be found in dogma or rules; only in suggestions with the space to manoeuver. Source can be felt to be very near when these two qualities lie so close together that, paradoxically, they both push and pull against one another yet co-habitate so easily, comfortably, like old soul mates and companions, all at the same time and without conflict or contradiction… Continue reading

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Doing absolutely nothing

How do we get to regain the marvel-factor that must come with each small achievement or observation of commonplace experiences following an event such as devastating illness or a close brush with death, without having to go through the terrible loss or trauma of anything being “lost”, even if only temporarily? How do we get back to that level of awe and appreciation, the awareness and the in-the-moment presence with what is happening right here and now (not in our heads)? Because, as a species, we need these perspectives more than we ever did; they round us and they rebalance us in ways critical to our ability to thrive and survive. Continue reading

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Unreservedly whole

While we continue defending the feminine (like she needs to be defended…), championing her like she has been wronged, we remain completely out of balance. While our masculine aspect is still charged with any wrongdoing, and while he is commissioned with taking on what ails the so-called struggling feminine who supposedly needs “rescuing”, he will be condemned to hunting down and nailing dragons for all eternity in order to “prove himself”. This makes him unavailable to meet with the feminine in the “place” where he can take off his armour and come into full union with her; there will always be another task to be done and he will be forever distracted, absent, preoccupied, guarded. In order to meld fully, the unconditional surrender of all issues between these aspects needs to occur; and the bridge between them needs to be a motion of at once stepping forwards and reaching out to receive in both cases. A decommissioning of all reasons to be other than this bridge, with each other, from that moment forwards, needs to occur unreservedly; no more “buts…” (read on). Continue reading

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Mixing up the wool with the silk

When we finally get to land in that place we have been circling yet never quite managed to get “in” to, we find that a great many things alter though the change in perspective may be subtle. With no expectations, no baggage, we simply become that divinely inspired meeting point of all that we are in the purely-creative pinpoint of each moment of self-exploration; one moment after another, ceaselessly rebirthing ourselves. Even if we have nothing to show for it but ourselves, we can never fail at this task and it will only ever lead us more swiftly and consistently towards our highest truth. Even if we seem to constantly change our minds or the direction we are heading in; even when we stop and start, backtrack, hesistate or take the slower, less obvious, route than other people seem to be taking, we are always in the process of creating our own greatest masterpiece or travelling our most divine path, right here and now if it is guided from this pin-point place where all our aspects meet like an internal compass of the heart. When the route we choose is all about following our own path and not about the distractions or collection of particular stop-offs we feel we “have” to make, we get to a place that is uniquely ours and which delivers something we were needing in that very moment, even though this may not be what we thought it would be. When we discover that we now have every choice at our fingertips…in fact, we can get our hands dirty with the stuff of life just as much as we want to from now on, but only in order to have some fun at being human and nothing to do with the old “slog and grind” that made it seem necessary or even better to go the long-hard way about doing anything, we dare to immerse ourselves in life without fear of being dragged back into the old ways of suffering and sacrifice. If things that used to feel just so important suddenly arn’t calling out to us any more, that’s fine; in fact its probably great. Think of it as a white noise switching off so we can better hear a brand new melody on the wind… Continue reading

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Beyond binary into unlimited

All my wires seem to bunch here in this place of knowing that what comes next is not in spite of the body but about to happen with it, through it, in it and because of it…in ways that we have yet to fully comprehend with our human minds or to realise broadly within our three-dimensional form; though we will. It’s not one in replacement of the other….it’s a cascade of higher dimensions through the floodgates of the “lower” that previously held them at bay for fear of self-destruction, to work together in ways that are more astonishing than we can grasp with our minds…but to get there we need to take steps to hold onto our flesh, to remain firmly grounded and involved with our humanness and yet allow what is beyond it; both at the same time (like continuously patting your head and rubbing your stomach simultaneously, this is no mean feat). To youngsters who are being born ready for just this, it will come far more naturally. To those of us with many more decades of believing in the “either ~ or” scenario which is our familiar world (though we may deny that we ever truly subscribed to it…yet it was always in there at our core as debris left by entrained belief systems and ancestral patterning) it will be far more tricky. We will have to find our own modality or bridge for bringing this about or, almost, tricking or distracting the mind while grounding and reassuring the body and simultaneously opening-up to the higher perspective until it has landed at the cellular level (and I think I have found mine). Its daunting but many of us reach a place where we truly feel we have to make the attempt.
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Life beyond karma

Life beyond karma feels like switching to making digital art after many years of painting. Its like using only the best, most enlightened bits of your experience to make the picture of your choice without having to labour and revisit or recycle what feels done with, including all those early “mistakes” that you are striving to make good of. This and many more observations of what it feels like beyond the impulses and convoluted agendas and layering of the karmic experience… Continue reading

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