Today is not the same as yesterday

Today, there has been a shift though I know it may not seem like it from the dark, dreary start of yet another February morn but there surely has because I just know it…I FEEL it.

Like when I used to announce, with such confidence, to my mother “everything has changed today” (and she would stare at me quite uncomprehendingly, or say something like “don’t be so silly!”…how we sensitives are taught to doubt ourselves!) I perceive everything is different today than how it was yesterday. The carousel of magical lands at the top of the Faraway Tree (for those who get the reference…) has spun around and a new one has taken over this shift, neither better or worse (though to some, maybe preferable); the season, in its broadest form, has changed distinctly overnight. I knew it as soon as I became vertical and walked to the bathroom, my subtle earth-connected senses told me so before my thoughts had time to argue.

Like the morning after a protracted labour, there is a relief and a release with it, though still a way to go. Perhaps some days or even weeks to get into a new groove, but I “smell” the change or detect a sort of vibrancy in the air…no, those discriptors aren’t enough, let’s not get carried away with labels to pin it down, the shift is as yet unfathomable, but its real.

Just as when a new era begins, some start to know it, others lag behind, fixated with “hard” evidence that all all remains exactly as it was before. So they get left behind in that other land as it spins from the top of the tree and never realise something else has taken its place, where others are already accessing something fresh and new, since they are locked-into the perameters of their expectations, built to fit that old paradigm.

Or, like when a fever breaks and those holding vigil just know…

These last days have felt like a sort of fever to me…always does in this season. Just when I allow myself to think, in January, “this winter isn’t so hard”, February “happens” and its like birthing pains in my body, wracked with intense, fatiguing symptoms of transition and always about this time of the month, give or take a few days.

Then, the release that comes, the forgetting as every new mother forgets her birthing pangs and willingly goes through them all again next time around. At least now I know to surrender to the process, to assert with the rhyhms of forward momentum, to breathe and stay present when the pain becomes too much.

Yes, today feels as different as can be to yesterday, though my body has still to catch up. I long-ago ceased really trying to explain it to others, I just know and that’s enough. From here, its not plain sailing exactly, just different; and change is as good as a rest, change and expansion being where we work our magic as micro-creators and influencers of reality, and now is that time.

About Helen White

Helen White is a professional artist and published writer with two primary blogs to her name. Her themes pivot around health and wellbeing, expanded consciousness and ways of noticing how life is a constant dance between the deeply subjective and the collective-universal, all of which she explores with a daily hunger to get to know herself better. Her blog Living Whole shines a light on living with high sensitivity, dealing with trauma and healing from chronic health issues. Spinning the Light is an extremely broad-based platform where she elucidates the everyday alchemy of relentless self-exploration. A lifetime of "feeling like an outsider" slowly emerged as neurodivergence (being a Highly Sensitive Person with ADHD, synaesthesia, sensory processing challenges and other defecits overlapping with giftedness). All of these topics are covered in her blogs, written from two distinct vantage points so, if you have enjoyed one of them, you may wish to explore the other for a different, yet entirely complimentary, perspective.
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