The terrible responsibility of “just knowing”

Why is it that I can’t seem to turn my nervous system down a few notches; what is it so desperate for me to know? Why does it deliver sound and sensation effects that I can do nothing about, can’t even quell for a moment? Since returning to the electrosmog of the UK, the shrill frequency “sound” in my head is relentless, there’s no disguising it and, at night when I turn the light off, I’m left all alone with it…with such a feeling of dread…only to find it still there in the morning. And my skin…it feels like its on fire. In Italy, yes, the noise was there but much quieter, subtler and in the background, like it used to be, here, a few years ago…but then things don’t feel so “amped up” there. Or, perhaps I needed the break from continuity to wipe away the scales from my eyes a little more, since its just so easy not to see what’s going on when you are in the thick of it…

Since returning, 5G, seems to be pressingly on my mind since its everywhere here; smiling counsellors under newspaper headlines shaking hands with telecoms execs, proudly declaring they want to be the first in the area to “switch it on” for the betterment of mankind. So why do I feel such pressing horror at it all? Is it just for me, this dread, knowing as I do how I can’t easily be within half a mile of a cellphone tower without experiencing it as heat and pain, and now they want to put one in front of my house (what is that very tall street lamp they’ve used to replace the old one, so LED-bright I have to shut every door on my landing before I can attempt to sleep; that my shutters glow space-age blue around the edges and pitch dark is lost forever…). Why, when I take refuge in the antics of birds in my garden, do I feel so very sad at what this means for them, how they, and the bees, and the trees and so many subtle aspects of the ecosystem are not going to be the winners here….how I feel almost as though I’m saying goodbye to them, like I’m trying to crystallise what it feels like to be able to take them for granted…

And how do I “just know” this stuff; why do I know that, like me, the birds and bees will be left compromised, possibly much worse (see below; don’t they know we can’t carry on without bees), by a frequency bandwidth that will sounding its tune, quite literally, everywhere in the blanket coverage that Britain declares we will have within a matter of a small number of years, starting this summer? There’ll be nowhere to hide, no opt-out corner to be had. Did my morale sink the most when I discovered that some of those very places I had in mind for our move west, being remote, rural, away from all this, were part of an initiative to have 5G first, so that farmers can track and trace their crops and livestock? Was that when I broke down in the existential crisis that shouldn’t have had to come so soon in the wake of such a good holiday, where I had (for a couple of weeks at least, allowed by the feeling of lessened intensity that permeates the very air there) managed to shove to the sidelines the substance of all these pressing alarms going off like a room full of  alarm clocks ringing at once?

Nobody is listening. That is the thing that sends this constant shard of pain right through my heart. Many people, doctors, organisations, etc are clamouring to air their disquiet, even their science, but nobody that can stop this thing has the slightest intention of listening and it feels like a heavy freight train rolling down a sheer escarpment…to every nerve fibre in my body.

For those of us who are sensitive, intuitive, empathic, gaining our “knowing” from who knows where or what, nor what dimensions, this is real, not pathological; and once, a long time ago, it was valued. Before the “age of reason” shoved us to the sidelines or had us put away, medicated, laughed at, we were the advisors to kings but not so any more; no, without an empirical piece of paper to show what we say holds water, we are the laughing stock, the fools on the hill. To be honest, even if we had that piece of paper, we would still be shut down pretty quickly by those with a vested interest; there are no winners in this game since the rules are all messed with.

And yet those who are already sensitive to the radiation from mobile communications (and to many other things…) know, quite literally know, with every fibre, ever ringing nerve end, of our being, that something is going wrong here. We may be the extreme end of the reaction but we are flagging-up what other’s are equally affected by, even if they are not yet aware the harmful effects or able to attribute those effects to the appropriate “thing”…because some of us simply pay attention more than others; being made that way, with the finer tuned nervous system that shares more in common with other species, not the industrialised human. We just know what we know…and there’s no quieting it down, no sitting it in a corner to play with its toys, no singing and dancing it away, taking it out of itself with distraction and no acting like it’s not happening. We are the clanging bell of our own early warning system and perhaps the hardest part of all is the feeling, renewed every day, that we should be doing something with this information; that we should be shouting it from the rooftops, alerting those who can do something about it, coming up with a single-handed plan to turn the boat around….but, realistically, we know that we can achieve none of that, might finish our fragile health off in the attempt, and so we are caught…trapped….the canary whose voice is going hoarse, trapped in a nightmare, longing to be free of the man-made hell that we seem to have landed in.

Even the most rational person….

can surely see that something is going desperately wrong here? Or are we really all so much like children now, trusting our governments to have our best interests at heart, that we submit to their final decision. Just read the summary put together by those who are most concerned about 5G, extract below, and some of my links if you are not up-to-speed on what 5G really means for you, your family, your planet. Many people seem to think its just like 4G but with an extra digit…but its really not; its very different science, using a short-wave, high-frequency bandwith that is known to tamper with aspects of human, animal and cellular (thus, plants included) health and communication methods that we don’t fully understand yet.

For those of us already responding to cellular technology, I believe this has less to do with “poor health” and much more to do with an early-warning system that these technologies are not yet compatible with human biology (my health crashed with the advent of the smartphone; in our way, those like me have become the experts). We might get there in the end, if human and animal wellbeing are kept well in the picture of how these technologies are developed (we need to learn so much more about what health entails than most doctors or scientists currently know)…but we are not even close, yet. However, this phase is being rolled out regardless of the lack of any significant “data” to demonstrate it will not significantly harm life on this planet (and plenty to suggest it will, see below); rushed through like some sort of shotgun wedding to cover the tracks of something else that is gestating on the other side of it. I’m no luddite, I love some of what technology can do, but I recognise when vested interest has got the upper hand over human and planetary wellbeing; and, once this is “switched on”, do we really think that those who control it are going to switch it back off, for any justification whatsoever? Besides, the chain reactions will have been started, and no earlier “back up” of the eco system that we can revert to.

If this continues, I believe we will see one nefarious action after the other, “justified” by the drive to grab this new technology and with all of our previous niggles about the eco-crisis overshadowed into oblivion by a giant monster of an eco-meltdown, caused by playing with matches before we know enough about fire. The idea that corporations can “buy” bandwidths like a piece of real estate is just so obviously fawed but then they get away with it by saying they’re doing it for our benefit. Meanwhile, all our previous priorities will be torn up for fire paper. For instance, we all like to do what we can to support the growing need for more trees and yet, already (because 5G milimetre waves tend to be absorbed by rainwater, leaves and plants…), I read there are widespread projects in hand to cull trees in its name, see this letter to Broadleaf magazine:

To: Letters Editor, Broadleaf

Dear Sir/Madam

I wonder if supporters of Woodland Trust are aware that the mass culling of healthy trees all over the world is reported to be related to the fact that trees, their foliage and especially wet foliage, can absorb and therefore impede, the propagation of 5G, the new generation of wireless technology?

This untested, new technology not only threatens the life and health of our trees, plants, animals and wildlife, but also ourselves.

In acting to protect our wonderful trees from harm, we also safeguard ourselves, our children and the wellbeing of future generations.

I hope that Woodland Trust will be successful in educating the public on this issue.

Yours faithfully, 

Janet  (Dr) M.A. M.B. Ch.B. (retired GP), Wales, UK.

Trees, as some of us know, are more social than we realise; communicating with each other in ways we don’t begin to fully understand so even when we don’t cut them down to make way for masts, we will be tampering with them in ways that threaten their very function and health on this planet. “Think GMOs on steroids” says the well-known EMF-specialist UK website Electrosense. The water that falls from the sky onto these plants will also be irradiated. A 2010 study on aspen seedlings showed that the exposure to radio frequencies led to the leaves showing necrosis symptoms”. I’ve already read an account of trees being removed because of bands of dead leaves showing up where 5G was being trialled. If you look around for these topics, you will find mounting evidence of this kind of things, affecting local nature and wildlife, happening in localised pockets (we need to stay vigilant for them), under a myriad of excuses and false reassurances…

People may assume that they haven;t been sensitive to the previous generations of cellular commication and so this will be no problem to them (though this doesn’t account for me and others like me who are undeniably sensitive). However, from what scientists already know, 5G opens up the potential for a new arena of risk relating to skin, nervous system and eyes which, as someone who already suffers from skin and vision issues relating to 4G and bluetooth, is a major concern to me.

“The biggest concern is how these new wavelengths will affect the skin. The human body has between two million to four million sweat ducts. Dr. Ben-Ishai of Hebrew University, Israel explains that our sweat ducts act like “an array of helical antennas when exposed to these wavelengths,” meaning that we become more conductive. A recent New York study which experimented with 60GHz waves stated that ‘the analyses of penetration depth show that more than 90% of the transmitted power is absorbed in the epidermis and dermis layer’. The effects of MMWs as studied by Dr. Yael Stein of Hebrew University is said to also cause humans physical pain as our nociceptors flare up in recognition of the wave as a damaging stimuli. So we’re looking at possibilities of many skin diseases and cancer as well as physical pain to our skin.” From Electrosense – 5G Radiation Dangers – 11 Reasons To Be Concerned.

In case all that wasn’t enough to worry about, this technology is already used for crowd control and paves the way for any single neighbourood, or even more precise targets than that, to be subjected to a new generation of control weaponry in the hands of those who would want such a thing…

Since getting home from Italy a few days ago, the sheer intensity of this “off” feeling as I newly notice the increased levels of exisiting electro-smog causing my skin to burn, eyesight to blur now I’m home, has been gathering all around me (maybe I am also empathising other people’s unspoken panic…). Its quite impossible for me to ignore these signals, this time; whether they are  “worse” because I had some time out from it all because things really have amped up here in my absence, perhaps 5G testing is going off without our knowing (for instance), I really don’t know… However, this intensity of “alarm” had to be spoken, I had to let the bird out of the cage today; get it off my chest. Like detecting a storm on the horizon, long before its first clap of thunder, I just know something dreadful is “going down” here. I have come to trust my body-reactions, far  more so than government reassurances and the hype pushed out by those with a vested interest, since they have never let me down.

So, this post has interrupted the thread of writing that I did while I was in Italy, some of which I am very eager to share, being of a different dimension, a much higher-vibe, to all this (a place I now prefer to be) but….sometimes the truth of our souls must “out” and so I had to pop the cork of these feelings, both for myself and those who might be sharing my intense disquiet. Perhaps we all need to pop this cork together instead of sitting nicely, for once, as we are entrained to do.

Because many of us, I suspect, are feeling like this right now…perhaps not even allowing the misgivings to take form; keeping them in, dreading conflict with people who hold different viewpoints, addressing those disquieting things we know are going on inside as “health symptoms” to be turned off with medication or other means. My urge to you, if this feels accurate, is that we must speak out, must air our concerns, play our part (however small)…we owe it to ourselves, our children and their children, all the other species we share this space with and, of course, our beloved planet.

Despite all that I have shared (please look through some of the information I’ve taken the time to put together below) and much more sobering and credible information online, from which the logical conclusion would be that we rethink or, at least, slow down the 5G process, there seems to be no sign of this happening. As I just heard on a video celebrating this new technology, those people who are working on it really don’t know what it is or will be capable of doing…its all work in progress and we are the experiment.

Our govenment’s response to a recent petition, for the record, was merely “Exposure to radio waves has been carefully researched and reviewed. The overall weight of evidence does not suggest devices producing exposures within current guidelines pose a risk to public health…However, the results of this study highlight the continuing uncertainties in this complex area and reinforce the importance of mobile phone users following the long-standing precautionary advice, which is available at the following links…”. This painfully naive response, which suggests they don’t even seem to fully realise that there will be no ability to “follow precautionary advice” to avoid over-exposure of something that will thickly blanket every square inch of the entire atmosphere of the world, whether we are “holding the phone close to the body” or not, reaffirms what seems to be the case here. The corporations and those behind them are playing the role of decision-making adults here, our governments are like little children wanting the latest gadgets and we are all caught in the crossfire; there is no interest whatsoever in the harmful effects that are about to be unleashed (perhaps they are desired) and it is down to the individuals like you and I to share this information and make ourselves heard, as a matter of urgency, before its too late.

Meanwhile…inept as it feels…we can pour our love and attention, more than ever before, into what we most fear losing, sharing the gift of our appreciation with trees, bees, birds and other creatures, a sky (relatively) free of interference, the fact that Nature’s cycles approximate what we expect, that we can still eat food that hasn’t been tampered with by unseen bandwidths, that not all our water is yet forced to ring to the clanging frequencies of manmade “sounds” carried on invisible waves (water being a mimicker of those frequencies that surround it, as demonstrated by Dr Emoto), indeed our profound gratitude for having food and water…at all. And we can meditate and hold abundant space, inside ourselves, for something far mightier than the monster tech of our times to arise out of the core of our planet and call time on such ill-informed tamperings; since the one untested territory we have as our trump card is that we know-not the power of our own (and combined) focus when fuelled by the most positive intentions.


The following extract, with many links to supporting studies etc, is taken from an INTERNATIONAL APPEAL Stop 5G on Earth and in Space (go to website for full appeal):

“Despite widespread denial, the evidence that radio frequency (RF) radiation is harmful to life is already overwhelming. The accumulated clinical evidence of sick and injured human beings, experimental evidence of damage to DNA, cells and organ systems in a wide variety of plants and animals, and epidemiological evidence that the major diseases of modern civilisation—cancer, heart disease and diabetes—are in large part caused by electromagnetic pollution, forms a literature base of well over 10,000 peer-reviewed studies.

If the telecommunications industry’s plans for 5G come to fruition, no person, no animal, no bird, no insect and no plant on Earth will be able to avoid exposure, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, to levels of RF radiation that are tens to hundreds of times greater than what exists today, without any possibility of escape anywhere on the planet. These 5G plans threaten to provoke serious, irreversible effects on humans and permanent damage to all of the Earth’s ecosystems.”

At least five companies[5] are proposing to provide 5G from space from a combined 20,000 satellites in low- and medium-Earth orbit that will blanket the Earth with powerful, focused, steerable beams. Each satellite will emit millimetre waves with an effective radiated power of up to 5 million watts[6] from thousands of antennas arranged in a phased array. Although the energy reaching the ground from satellites will be less than that from ground-based antennas, it will irradiate areas of the Earth not reached by other transmitters and will be additional to ground-based 5G transmissions from billions of IoT objects. Even more importantly, the satellites will be located in the Earth’s magnetosphere, which exerts a significant influence over the electrical properties of the atmosphere. The alteration of the Earth’s electromagnetic environment may be an even greater threat to life than the radiation from ground-based antennas.

Even before 5G was proposed, dozens of petitions and appeals[7] by international scientists, including the Freiburger Appeal signed by over 3,000 physicians, called for a halt to the expansion of wireless technology and a moratorium on new base stations.[8]

In 2015, 215 scientists from 41 countries communicated their alarm to the United Nations (UN) and World Health Organization (WHO).[9] They stated that “numerous recent scientific publications have shown that EMF [electromagnetic fields] affects living organisms at levels well below most international and national guidelines”. More than 10,000 peer-reviewed scientific studies demonstrate harm to human health from RF radiation.[10] [11]

Effects include:

Effects in children include autism,[28] attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)[29][30] and asthma.[31]

Damage goes well beyond the human race, as there is abundant evidence of harm to diverse plant- and wildlife[32][33] and laboratory animals, including:

Negative microbiological effects[48] have also been recorded.

The WHO’s International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC) concluded in 2011 that RF radiation of frequencies 30 kHz – 300 GHz are possibly carcinogenic to humans (Group 2B).[49]However, recent evidence, including the latest studies on cell phone use and brain cancer risks, indicate that RF radiation is proven carcinogenic to humans[50] and should now be classified as a “Group 1 carcinogen” along with tobacco smoke and asbestos.

Most contemporary wireless signals are pulse-modulated. Harm is caused by both the high-frequency carrier wave and the low-frequency pulsations.[51]

The idea that we will tolerate tens to hundreds of times more radiation at millimetre wavelengths is based on faulty modelling of the human body as a shell filled with a homogeneous liquid.[77][78] The assumption that millimetre waves do not penetrate beyond the skin completely ignores nerves,[79] blood vessels[80][81] and other electrically conducting structures that can carry radiation-induced currents deep into the body.[82][83][84]Another, potentially more serious error is that phased arrays are not ordinary antennas. When an ordinary electromagnetic field enters the body, it causes charges to move and currents to flow. But when extremely short electromagnetic pulses enter the body, something else happens: the moving charges themselves become little antennas that reradiate the electromagnetic field and send it deeper into the body. These reradiated waves are called Brillouin precursors.[85] They become significant when either the power or the phase of the waves changes rapidly enough.[86] 5G will probably satisfy both criteria.

In addition, shallow penetration in itself poses a unique danger to eyes and to the largest organ of the body, the skin, as well as to very small creatures. Peer-reviewed studies have recently been published, predicting thermal skin burns[87] in humans from 5G radiation and resonant absorption by insects,[88] which absorb up to 100 times as much radiation at millimetre wavelengths as they do at wavelengths presently in use. Since populations of flying insects have declined by 75-80 per centsince 1989 even in protected nature areas,[89] 5G radiation could have catastrophic effects on insect populations worldwide. A 1986 study by Om Gandhi warned that millimetre waves are strongly absorbed by the cornea of the eye, and that ordinary clothing, being of millimetre-size thickness, increases the absorption of energy by the skin by a resonance-type effect.[90] Russell (2018) reviews the known effects of millimetre waves on skin, eyes (including cataracts), heart rate, immune system and DNA.[91]

Stakeholders thus far in the development of 5G have been industry and governments, while renowned international EMF scientists who have documented biological effects on humans, animals, insects and plants, and alarming effects on health and the environment in thousands of peer-reviewed studies have been excluded. The reason for the current inadequate safety guidelines is that conflicts of interest of standard-setting bodies “due to their relationships with telecommunications or electric companies undermine the impartiality that should govern the regulation of Public Exposure Standards for non-ionizing radiation”. [92] Professor Emeritus Martin L. Pall lays out the conflicts of interest in detail, and the lists of important studies that have been excluded, in his literature review. [93]

Other related articles and quotes:

Cryptochromes are very badly affected by weak oscillating electromagnetic fields that are orders of magnitude weaker than the Earth’s steady magnetic field. This can disrupt both solar and magnetic navigation, which can account for colony collapse disorder in bees.”—Dr. Andrew Goldsworthy, quoted in Bees, Butterflies And Wildlife: Research On Electromagnetic Fields And The Environment by The Environmental Health Trust.

“Life’s exquisite electro-physiology is still being discovered. Researchers at Bristol University reported in May that bees’ hairs are highly sensitive to flowers’ delicate EMFs. In controlled trials in Switzerland, bees reacted to mobile-phone signals with high-pitched ‘piping’: a cue to desert a hive.” – Wireless Pollution ‘Out of Control’ as Corporate Race for 5G Gears Up.

Screenshot 2019-05-22 at 21.09.00

The article Bees, Birds and Mankind: Destroying Nature by ‘Electromog’ (exctract right) by Ulrich Dr. Warnke of the University of Saarlan is a must-read on the likely effects upon these species of tampering with the geomagnetic field to this unprecedented extent. To quote Geovital, the Academy for Radiation Protection and Environmental Medicine (these are the experts I consulted to help protect my living enviroment due to my radiation related health issues): “The Cryptochromes (photoreceptors that regulate entrainment by light of the circadian clock in plants and animals) are very badly affected by weak oscillating electromagnetic fields that are orders of magnitude weaker than the Earth’s steady magnetic field. Disrupting both solar and magnetic navigation, which can account for colony collapse disorder in bees. If we lose the bees we lose the ability for our food plants to be pollinated.” From Geovital article  – Our Obsession with Mobile Technology Could Destroy Wildlife.

Hundreds of Birds Dead During 5G Experiment in the Netherlands from one of many accounts related to 5G and birds.

Doctors worldwide reporting the incredible benefits of reducing EMF exposure (as I can testify, though this will no longer be possible to achieve once 5G arrives).

“The plans to beam highly penetrative 5G milliwave radiation at us from space must surely be one of the greatest follies ever conceived of by mankind. There will be nowhere safe to live.” – Olga Sheean former WHO employee and author of ‘No Safe Place’

“It would irradiate everyone, including the most vulnerable to harm from radiofrequency radiation: pregnant women, unborn children, young children, teenagers, men of reproductive age, the elderly, the disabled, and the chronically ill.” —Ronald Powell, PhD, Letter to FCC on 5G expansion

“Milimetre Waves (MMWs from 5G) are absorbed by both plants and rain. Studies have already shown that MMWs may invoke stress protein changes in plants such as wheat shoots, while low levels of nonionizing radiation have been linked to disturbances and health problems in birds and bees. It could even pose a danger to the food supply via its potential absorption by plants”. From Amplified EMFs Coming to Your Neighborhood Soon and many more articles on these topics.

Neuroscientist Dr Sarah Starkey talks about the “official advice”on radiation frequency and how it came about, riddled as it was with conflicts of interest that, to this day, still prevent the public interest from being safeguarded by their findings (video of her presentation here and below).

The so-called “independent” evidence used to prepare the guidelines currently used for raditation exposure (as presented by Dr Sarah Starkey on 5th November 2018 at the PHIRE Conference, London).

What we desperately need to happen now…


Screenshot 2019-05-22 at 13.40.23

What we need now…before we go any further, not after 5G has been fully invested in. From Dr Sarah Starkey, talk given at the PHIRE Conference, London, as above.



About Helen White

Helen White is a professional artist and published writer with two primary blogs to her name. Her themes pivot around health and wellbeing, expanded consciousness and ways of noticing how life is a constant dance between the deeply subjective and the collective-universal, all of which she explores with a daily hunger to get to know herself better. Her blog Living Whole shines a light on living with high sensitivity, dealing with trauma and healing from chronic health issues. Spinning the Light is an extremely broad-based platform where she elucidates the everyday alchemy of relentless self-exploration. A lifetime of "feeling like an outsider" slowly emerged as neurodivergence (being a Highly Sensitive Person with ADHD, synaesthesia, sensory processing challenges and other defecits overlapping with giftedness). All of these topics are covered in her blogs, written from two distinct vantage points so, if you have enjoyed one of them, you may wish to explore the other for a different, yet entirely complimentary, perspective.
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3 Responses to The terrible responsibility of “just knowing”

  1. cathytea says:

    Terrifying. It will be interesting (strange word for me to choose ) to see how this disaster collides with human – forced climate catastrophe. Economic, social, and environmental collapse seem to be escalating… which train will crash into the other?

    And in the midst of grief, we love, we nurture spirit, we listen, we keep loving.


    • Helen White says:

      I could do that so much more effectively if related pain levels weren’t already escalating…to almost intolerable pitch…so to imagine the escalation thats coming is testing all of my resolve to be here for reasons that are also under threat. I cant pretend Im not in the midst of an existential crisis right now. From this, we can only grow, or…


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