I’ve been thinking a lot about how to “be the bridge” of myself lately; as in, making myself more whole by spanning all these two-part aspects of myself in equilibrium; the masculine and feminine, left and right hemispheres, my physical and spiritual aspects (and these are just for starters). In a deep-dive I did on my other blog about the vagus nerve, which serves as a bridge of so many of these dual functions (it’s an extraordinary nerve in the body – you should go and read what I found out…), I discovered that it is the very key to our health so you can see where this theme was going.

In a chat with my massage therapist the other day, I was explaining how I write for two blogs, this one on diverse, playful, “spiritual” topics and the other one Living Whole on more tangible, practical topics to do with health and wellbeing. She asked if I felt the amalgamation of those two outlets would make me feel more whole. I’ve often wondered this yet, somehow, I never felt this was the answer. More so, I feel my times of special healing come out of when I mix them up and cross them over whilst keeping them distinct: by bringing more structure, poise and organisation into Spinning the Light , for instance, and by softening my health blog with more spiritual, metaphysical, emotional perspectives. The more I have thought into this, the more it has taught me about how we could find our way towards powerfully increased “wholeness” in the world at large, for instance by mixing up and crossing over distinct areas of our lives such as work and leisure and so on; that is, not by getting rid of one or the other but allowing them each to bring new blood, or fresh air, into their “opposite” part.

What I’ve come to realise is that we can’t adequately, or sustainedly, make ourselves more whole by creating the bridge outside of ourselves (in the form of an external yet separate project), like some  sort of proxy for ourselves, held at arm’s length and masterminded into “I’ll just add one part of this and one part of that, then stir them together…”, like reciting a recipe for the perfect cake. Once outside of us, such a project is destined to collapse since it has no backbone, nothing to hold it together. WE are the bridge, WE do the mixing…as us…like mixing colours straight onto the canvas of a painting (something I love to do). This is what brings us forwards out of the heart of ourselves, like a bud flowering into existence.

Within us, places in the body that demonstrate the beauty of wholeness in action – I give you a well toned vagus nerve as example – aren’t being the bridge for us; we ARE that bridge, made manifest as the optimally functioning physical body, without separation from it. We have become so accustomed to regarding organs and tissue in the body as separate from who we are in this post-transpant world that we have to bring ourselves up sharp and think about this; our cells ARE who we are, representing every thought and emotion we ever held onto for long enough to create tissue out of itself.

Outside of ourselves, any project born out of this marriage of two parts would literally have to be a an extension of who we are to continue being whole; not a facsimile of wholeness made from too much effort. Neither a “thing” we just created, nor an autonomous organisation that could just as easily be run by others or sold off as an entity unto itself but, rather, an extension of the living-breathing organism that we are, like an auric glow emanating from our life force, built around a beating heart, still warm with accountability and care. These are the projects that seem to pulse with life force and which astonish and astound for the way they blossom out into the world; because others can feel them, are affected and attracted to them and their innate wholeness, whether they are a company, a piece of craftsmanship or a work of art; one day, perhaps, a type of government made from a collective of such hearts…

And this doesn’t have to be a business or a creation; it can, equally, be the daily actions and thoughts you put out into the world.

The point is, when we are the bridge – as ourselves and as what  radiates from us – we become whole. We are be-ing whole, as in “human being” (not “doing”). A “doing” tries too hard; even when wholeness is the well-intentioned aim…like trying to screw two misfitting, very contrary widgets together; as masculine and feminine, for instance, are (by design). Too often, this desire for wholeness resorts to force or self-claimed authority to try to make this union happen; and its left uncomfortable, raw, impermanent and ready to blow-up at again at the slightest pressure. When we craft a version of wholeness as an extension of ourselves, in the way of any true project of the heart, the in-built incentive is already there to remain whole because it feels so good; since it comes straight from our divinity. We are remembering who we really are, outside the arena of halves that is the earth plane, and it feels…well…divine!

And when we operate from that part of ourselves that already understands how to be whole (our heart) we radiate that out into the world; there is no “try”.

Then – and only then – we become the capstone of ourselves, the mid-point of the span of the bridge or, as it is properly termed, the keystone. This single stone is what allows the whole span of the bridge to be self-supporting – no mortar required – which cannot be done until the keystone is slotted into place. This key to the whole puzzle of awkwardly placed stones is who we are and this is when everything comes together and stands up with such apparent ease, with us at its centre.

A keystone is the wedge-shaped stone piece at the apex of a masonry arch and is the final piece placed during construction, locking all the stones into position and allowing the arch to bear weight.

Interestingly, though the arch cannot be self-supporting until the keystone is placed, the keystone (in this context “us”) experiences the least stress of all the stones, due to its position at the apex. This tells us something important about what it feels like to exist in such a state of balance, made whole as us, though push and pull forces exist all around us, while we remain poised at its centre.

A vaulted ceiling is made up of an intersection of two or more arched ribs (you could regard these as all the many, often contrary-seeming threads of “life”). The most complex keystones hold together the beautiful, gravity defying multiple arches, joined together with other arches held by keystones, of some of the most beautiful buildings in creation…

I suspect there is no limit to what we can create together when we do so from this place.