Do super-potent unions between emotion (yin) and event (yang) really take place and form hard nuggets that serve as unshiftable obstacles at the subplot of human exstence; the stumbling blocks of our highest evolution? Do they become solid yet bizarely intangible forms for, though we can sense them there, we struggle to acknowledge them well enough to transmute them, as though we do not have the right kind of vision to see them for what they are (though perhaps we are evolving such visionary skills now)? For, like an invisible elephant taking up space in the room of our best negotiation attempts, they always seem to turn us back towards the same doom-laden outcomes as before; manifesting as our most stubborn health issues, the sticking points in our recovery, the very thing that keeps returning us back to the beginning of a game we can’t seem to thrive in. I can hear those deeply caught up in old perspectives poopoo-ing it even before I type these words but I believe it is more than possible.

As the synesthete that I am, whose experience of the world already leans towards interchangeability of data so that, for instance, I see numbers as colours or emotions as objects (and many other such exhangeable languages of experience) I know that I am entirely capable of making a formidible association of an emotion with a physical circumstance. I do it all the time with music and clothing, places, smells and people – so that a whole box of memory can open up when a chance juxtaposition occurs. So why not with those things that, to my health-challenged body, present as toxic triggers? What if, without the negative emotional associations, these things could be returned back to neutral? What if many more of us are prone to this kind of synesthesia than we realise, which makes it such a key area of study as an approach to healing deep trauma; and has everything to do with finding that formidible meeting point in the human psyche where left and right hemispheres are trying so hard to collaborate and yet sometimes do so in such a way (or at such a lowered frequency) that it does not help us to thrive but has the opposite effect; after all, formidible is formidible…it knows no “right” or “wrong” way to manifest. Once we start to understand how this occurs at the deeply personal level, we can quickly use the same mechanism of irresistable attraction between the two hemispheres to collaborate on far healthier outcomes where positive emotions are encouraged to collaborate with circumstances (yes, even the more challenging ones…) until those, too, start to soften into the neutrality required to allow a quantum healing to take place; for, once neutral, we get to choose what to create next instead of being dicated to by what came before. We focus the laser-light of our highest perspective on the source wound until we can allow it to dissolve into a pool of higher understanding. “Hard” circumstance quickly becomes less rigid or non-negotiable once this happens since the higher-emotional response can overturn what was once thought to be so black and white or “factual” about a hurtful or distorted experience. When we do this using the power of immense positivity in all of our approaches to old wounds, we allow old negative patterns to stop repeating themselves and for completely new outcomes to rise out of the rubble of what once felt so intractable.

I realise that it is not that these deeply problematic issues affecting my quality of life have been growing “worse”, the rift between perspectives growing wider (the same could be observed about world at large…) but that, as I have been healing and clearing myself of other, old emotional, debris that obscured these root causes, they have been coming up for my attention more and more; which was inevitable. By surfacing, they invite me to be honest about my past and to forgive everything that I have ever been through and the same applies to all of us, as a collective. Though they can newly bring up feelings of being the little child, I regard this as a valuable opportunity to remind myself that I am all grown up now and that I get to choose my own reactions. Though avoiding some of my triggers as far as is practical (for now) creates a space that supports healing, I don’t feel this avoidance is the last word on any of the experiences that I wish didn’t trigger me since a life of reaction or avoidance is not what I choose as my most liberated experience, at any level. I hold that I am capable of healing any reactionary behaviour in myself just as soon as I can plunge into its source and recognise what it is all about and how it contributed to my overall experience of life and this gratitude-fuelled approach is key to defusing it. Love and appreciation of all the players in this long-running game is where the true and sustained healing lies.

Extract from Dispelling negative associations in which a journey through the experiences of my body led me to some more universal truths…