Beyond doubt

Like many people I keep company with, I subscribe to a wide variety of material and thoughts from the academic to the (by some people’s standards) completely woo-woo; and the path through it all – me! My resonance is my only guide. Often the connections from one side to the other of this broad field are quite startling and, where they cross over, I find myself.

I deeply admire those who delve into the unknown seeking to keep to the neatly mown paths of the empirical in order to garner credibility. Yet I smile to see how a number of so-called accidental tweaks of direction in my own life have parted me from that well-kemp path, for good reason since it would have trimmed my wings. I could have so easily chosen the path of the academic…yet here I am, the explorer of many things, master of none.

For what more “proof” do I need except for myself; I Am that proof.  We all get to become the so-called proof of a new world that our previous world failed to believe in…since we had no evidence for it until it manifested. As we lead ourselves along the winding path that is beyond doubt, thus needing nothing more than ourselves to be that benchmark in the experience field, we become the only proof we ever needed, as ONE.

To do otherwise is like chasing down the wave distinct from the particle or trying to see both simultaneously; we are so busy looking outside of ourselves for these elusive things that we fail to notice how we are already that which we seek. We are masterfully being both, all at the same time….over and over again, in every moment.

joshua-earle-14603.jpgLet life itself prove what it needs to in each moment, only to prove something different before we can nail that thing down or build walls around it; this is how we evolve most swiftly. When our thoughts no longer recoil from that fear of being checked by an opinion, a doubt, a precedent that holds sway, we become our most creative selves, weaving experience across the most magnificent tapestry of infinite colours made up of synchronistically overlapping threads from all directions. We open up like a magnificent flower that never ceases from blooming; no longer cut off in our prime.

A little freedom from doubt can be useful in our practical lives, its good to know our train will turn up, the sun will rise, we will have food on our table…but when we absolutely insist upon it, it turns down all our dials, makes us stupid and childlike in our need to check in with others before we believe in our own thoughts.

We can’t define where we are headed, there is no map, yet we can feel our way there; letting feelings meet the mind at least half way. When we do this, we are like the blind person whose other senses become more receptive, finely tuned, remarkable. We develop a second-sight that takes us further than we have been before.

Patterns beguile us yet they can tie us down to the tight weft of an old cloth when, really, we want to be weaving a gauzier web. When we only ever use the past to define the future, we repeat that pattern even though we think we are expanding out from it since we are still tied to its centre, afraid to unhook.

When we let go of the anchor of what we think we know, we can feel so afraid, it can unhinge us, make us feel like we are losing our mind yet perhaps we are regaining it. This is the frontline of our highest possibility and it can feel like free-falling to go with the inner guidance of what feels true for us in each moment beyond what feels safe and well-defined. We feel like we might fall down the cracks between realities and yet we are our own guide rope, our own continuity. We  look back at where we were (so fundamentally doubtful in all our “safe” knowing) and realise that, in this new place, doubt is still there and then gone again…back again then dissolved…constantly renewing and revoking in each moment, so fast that there is simply no time to build any proof structures, which pre-suppose that there is anything to prove against. Suddenly, we are affirming, not defending; following the path of light. So now we are beyond doubt…not in the sense there is no doubt but in that we no longer live according to its stern wagging finger but are joyful, fearless, open-minded and free.

About Helen White

Helen White is a professional artist and published writer with two primary blogs to her name. Her themes pivot around health and wellbeing, expanded consciousness and ways of noticing how life is a constant dance between the deeply subjective and the collective-universal, all of which she explores with a daily hunger to get to know herself better. Her blog Living Whole shines a light on living with high sensitivity, dealing with trauma and healing from chronic health issues. Spinning the Light is an extremely broad-based platform where she elucidates the everyday alchemy of relentless self-exploration. A lifetime of "feeling like an outsider" slowly emerged as neurodivergence (being a Highly Sensitive Person with ADHD, synaesthesia, sensory processing challenges and other defecits overlapping with giftedness). All of these topics are covered in her blogs, written from two distinct vantage points so, if you have enjoyed one of them, you may wish to explore the other for a different, yet entirely complimentary, perspective.
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