Waving (not drowning)

Photo Credit: Lulu the Bold via Compfight cc

Photo Credit: Lulu the Bold via Compfight cc

Today it felt as though I received a lesson from the universe and whilst some of this maybe old news to anyone aware of the quantum perspective (and this really is no more than I’ve been playing around with for months now), it was the sheer simplicity of what ‘came through’ in a new wave of understanding that prompted me to share it. 

I’ll need to ask you to bear with me as I set the scene to how this came about. At the moment, the sun has become very active again after a period of relative quiet, and I’ve been feeling it in my body. Starting Friday with muscle pain and extreme tiredness, these ‘symptoms’ moved on yesterday into heart palpitations, skin irritation, hot flashes, relentless tones (ear-ringing), a particular type of headache that is now very familiar, a feeling of being triggered by bright light and noise, of having been plugged into the electricity mains and of high-adrenalin, like when you are on the verge of making a speech to a huge audience or expecting something ‘big’ to happen. All this tends to be accompanied by a sort of emotional volatility which can go either way…even become quite the bliss-filled ride if I just allow it, the best way of doing this being to go easy on myself, scrub non-essential appointments, drink water, follow my urges and just FLOW. I know a lot of people experience some, if not all, of these ‘symptoms’ at times of solar flare – even those who have zero interest in space-weather or ‘spirituality’ – because I’ve talked to so many of them and have several friends who are ‘floored’ by migraines and mystery body-pains at these times.

Here’s where it gets more interesting. What I’ve been noticing for the past 6 months is that I feel solar activity happening ‘as it happens’ on the surface of the sun…not just a day-or-so later when the space weather forecasters say we may be affected here on earth. They often predict that a CME is ‘coming’, that geomagnetic storms may occur in the coming week, or only affect the southern hemisphere, perhaps not even skim the surface of the earth at all. Yet those provisos of speed, direction or likelihood matter not to me as I usually feel the event in my body as soon as the coronal mass ejection leaves the surface of the sun. What typically unfolds is that I recognise the usual array of experiences in my body and so find myself wondering if there’s been a solar flare, THEN I check online and that generally confirms my theory…although sometimes I feel it even before the news breaks. When I woke on 3rd January feeling all the familiar signs in my body, I must have had that look on my face as my husband asked if I was feeling alright. “Must be a solar flare”, I told him without hesitation. Later that day, I spotted the first hint of this on Facebook and, by the following morning, there were alerts on the Space Weather website. Below is the most recent update which describes events unfolding on 4th Jan and so I was (as usual) about a day ahead of things and am continuing to experience very profound and challenging sensations today as news of a giant sunspot turned towards earth, one of the biggest ever seen and visible with the naked eye, is also announced. As we head towards the peak of the current solar max period (something which happens every 11 years) as well as solar pole reversal in the early months of this year, I know I’m in for an interesting ride.


What suddenly grabbed me more acutely than ever before was the likelihood of a quantum reason for this inside-out sequence of events. I suddenly ‘got’ – as in ‘just knew’ instinctively – that what is happening here is no less than quantum entanglement; which is, in (very) short, when two particles are connected like twin aspects of each other so that they act in the exact same way, mirroring each other’s experience, although separated by distance. On the premise that we all came from the sun, so our atoms and molecules are the very same as those which make up everything else that came from that sun – fragmented aspects of the whole that divided and dispersed across the universe – then it is no stretch to imagine that entangled behaviour in our universe  would include shared experience with that from which we came. Such a theory would make what is happening with the sun of profound significance to each and every one of us (‘we are stardust’ after all…) and yet how many of us give it a second thought or, rather, put our migraines down to too much stress at work…What if we allowed ourselves to become much more aware of these influences and so welcomed and worked with them…what then?

What I also understood with new clarity was the key role that choice plays within this realm of experience – because the ability to choose, as the creators of our own experience, is what we are all about as human beings, and no less when that comes to how we interact with cosmic forces. Again, this comes right back to the quantum way of looking at things because, as quantum experiments keep demonstrating, the expectations of ‘the viewer’ determine whether something is experienced as wave or particle, right? So (and you can call this pseudo-science if you like…but I can’t help feeling there’s something in it) what if, at our own ‘quantum level’, in the void at the very centre of everything where consciousness dwells, we too get to alter (through our intention) whether an experience passes through as particle or wave; in other words as strictly physical encounter from the domain of measurable, touchable attributes or as something far more challenging to define yet much more expanded, so instantaneous (being beyond the scope or necessity of ‘linear time’), the somehow much more fundamental version of itself (you could say, free of all distortion) and, above all, a version of experience that is as cosmically connected (in constant communication, you could say, with the all of everything) as it could possibly be?

Carrying this hypothesis forwards, when a solar flare mirrors its effects in us and we interpret this powerful experience as particle, or solid matter, within the very cells of our physical body, that’s a big ask for the body…a very great deal for the body to assimilate in a matter of seconds…and it can hurt! When experienced as a wave, it ‘allows in’ those moments of exhilaration that are my newest experience of solar flaring, the crest of a wave emotions that fly and bring joy, yes tears triggered by beauty and gratitude for everything and also moments of great insight. At a level we can’t see, we are being expanded, evolved, morphed into the next greatest version of ourselves in the blink of an eye by these waves. These are very potent opportunities when they happen.

What also linked in seamlessly with this insight was a conversation I had with my daughter yesterday where she was trying to persuade me I really wanted to go shopping in the January sales…I was reminding her I don’t enjoy crowded shopping malls anyway so this was the very last thing I wanted to subject myself to at a time when people are fighting over every last article in the shops and expressing all their frustration and bad-temperedness in massive waves of emotion that I invariably experience as an energetic onslaught. She told me I needed to get over it; that I should toughen up and stop feeling what everyone around me is feeling as it only makes life unbearable. And there it was exposed by the telling words of a child who was doing no more than repeat what life on this planet has taught her so far…that cultural mantra to ‘toughen up’ and ‘stop feeling’ what others feel that was adopted such a very long time ago by all of us, to enable us to ‘cope’ with one other. I realised more acutely than ever that we’ve been doing exactly that for almost all of history…toughening ourselves up, teflon coating ourselves, so we  don’t have to feel other people’s stuff. That state of affairs, the stalemate of all stalemates, literally was the separation age in a nutshell.

So back to the quantum; when we choose to interpret what is universally available as a wave, we feel it all, we can connect with what our sun is ‘doing’ in the very moment it ‘happens’, we also connect with every other being on this planet and beyond and with all that we are, inclusive of everything. This is what it feels like to live ‘spiritually’ and it is exhilarating, meaningful and joy-filled beyond words so why would we block this, deny it or shut it out? Self-preservation, of course. When we choose to experience entirely as particle – that is, entirely within the realm of physical –  the exhilaration can still feel quite exhilarating (in the best moments of physical experience; like the glow after a good run, the adrenalin of driving fast cars or even the temporary thrill of snatching that last article in the sales…) but the less-than exhilarating can feel like so much challenge, pain, exhaustion. Faced with all this, we simply don’t want to take on other people’s stuff…we can barely cope with our own, feel constantly like we are struggling to keep head above water or are drowning…and so we pull apart, separate.

Then we have what we all associate with the purely spiritual kind of experience; abstract, disengaged from the physical life that is most familiar to us and ‘out there’ (pointing skyward) somewhere yet the difficulty for many people is fronting up to the questions such experience pushes up to the surface to such as “how do we know its real?” and “what’s it got to do with me, my life, my problems?”

Somewhere in the middle, within the scope of the kind of experiences where we feel safe enough to allow ourselves to open-up to vibrational experience at the same time as allowing its expression through physicality – as when we ‘let go’ in the act of dancing, painting, listening to music, riding a horse along a beach, moments of intimacy, feeling connected, laughing our socks off or taking in the vista from the top of a hill that we just climbed – we experience a balance of the two…a profound exhilaration that feels far more expansive than anything that is strictly earth-bound combined with an intrinsically human experience of flushed skin and stomach fizz. Suddenly its as though the quantum void within us has definable edges; we can sense our own consciousness in the process of ‘being’. With new detachment that comes from a different angle than our ordinary thinking mind, we observe ourselves in wonder as we find we are suddenly managing to hold this unique space within us that is interpreted as both wave and particle at the very same time. It is the experiment we set up, to find out if this is possible to achieve and then to hold for sustained periods as a unique ‘place’ within us, that is the very key to our human existence because its why we chose to have this earthly experience, for all its many challenges.

Combining the wave~particle experience simultaneously within one entity (ourselves) feels like it could be that very state of balance that we instinctively strive for (calling it many other things) as human beings because such moments seem to qualify as the very zenith of the physical adventure we came here to experience; the high points when it all comes together into much more than either ‘just’ spiritual or ‘just’ physical experience. What arises from such moments seems to be much grander, much more potent than the sum of its parts. Scientists have had to invent a whole new domain in which to explore what is known as ‘wave-particle duality’, known as The Field, although in science terms this remains a somewhat abstract ‘place’ used, primarily, as a means to allow the apparent dichotomy of quantum mechanics to be discussed at all. I’m aware that I walk all over current science with the simplicity of what I describe and yet there is a level at which I know we need no science to explain or locate the ‘place’ we are talking about here – and so, it seems, we seek and seek for ‘evidence’ outside of ourselves when ‘answers’ can be found so much closer to home. I would say the real-life domain of the ultimate wave~particle collaboration lies right under our very noses and deep ‘within’ our own consciousness; being the place where the spiritual meets the physical experience of our humanity, assuming we allow this to happen. Yes, its a balancing act but, first, we have to allow that experience is neither all spiritual nor all physical and the meeting place between is where the most fascinating science starts to ‘happen’. In the meeting place between, science stops being hemmed in by the limitations of  being measured by ‘that which has been experienced before’, opens up to whole new ways of knowing (after all, the word comes from the Latin for “knowledge” from the root “to know”) and so starts to grow into the vast open space of endless and unlimited ‘what if’s.

Like that other balancing act, riding a bicycle, once achieved (even briefly) we never forget how to bring the vibrational – call it inspiration – into our physical experience and it gets easier and more exhilarating with every ‘ride’, taking us further and further into territory that just keeps on unfolding in front of us. There is none of that jaded feeling of ‘is that all there is?’ that accompanies the somewhat lop-sidededly earthbound moments of exhilaration that can be followed by such endless feelings of anticlimax (possible to describe as an endless stream of acquisition followed by ever more longing). When we add in the ‘wave’ aspect of experience to what we know in physicality, our expectations are always far exceeded since we are constantly overarching the very possibilities that we are prepared to play with in our imagination to at least one evolutionary leap ahead of where we currently stand in physical form, arriving there in the energetic realm – which is the imaginative, creative realm that knows no bounds – long before the physical catches up with us.

What really came home for me, today, was the instantaneous factor. The sun ‘does’ and I ‘feel’….and the way I get to experience that alters according to whether I choose to experience that as a wave or a particle; a vibration of expansiveness and deliverer of great, glowing, cosmic upgrade ‘juice’ or as an onslaught that my physical self struggles to incorporate in an instance and so interprets as pounding headache and exhaustion. Its happening is an inevitability yet I get to CHOOSE my experience of it and that determines where the experience takes me next – and doesn’t that cover just about everything in life?

Our physicality necessarily operates at a slower vibration than our higher aspects, that’s why we can see it, touch it! What I have no doubt about is that, as we learn to incorporate the ‘vibe’ aspect of what the sun is currently delivering to us in huge waves, that will necessarily start to manifest as particles within our cellular body in the weeks and months ahead…and so we evolve, in ways that we can only imagine (!) for the time being. Its certainly not a new theory to suggest that mankind’s greatest bursts of evolution have very likely coincided with times of significant solar activity…and we are certainly in the midst of the most momentous leap so far, making all things possible, at whatever pace we allow (and we get to determine that).

So, solar flare aside, what about all those other waves of feeling that come in, when something truly glorious seems to unfold; a sunset, a musical performance or a gathering of wonderful people – yes, let it in, let it in, don’t be afraid but just allow it all to be experienced as a glorious vibration, a ride on a wave. Then, at a pace that feels right to you, using the body as your gauge, let the floodgates of the particle experience open too – allow fizzes and tingles, flushed skin, laughter and tears to happen – that’s when the real multi-dimensional joy of being starts to unfold in your experience.

But here’s the biggie, when something lower-vibrational is happening as it sometimes does…for instance, when fear abounds, tempers are flaring or the news is tragic…do the same. Don’t block or fear it but, as wave rather than particle (as vibration rather than manifested form along with all the associated drama), let it in, let it through; it won’t hurt you or stick to you and if you hold your own centred place, allowing without engaging, the overall vibration is most likely to go up, even without you doing or saying anything at all. Simply being, allowing, holding your higher-vibrational space is enough to anchor the wave at that level; and once held there, the particle interpretation of that high-vibration can be activated and made manifest by the very intention you give to it, like flipping a quantum switch from wave to particle and so creating what started with imagination within the physical world as a whole new reality. Welcome to the full scope of your creatorship.

At the physical level, things will always be a little slower to transform yet will always go where vibration leads and so we can be sure they will get to wherever intention lies; new outcomes, new behaviours, new reactions will manifest and we will see them take shape within the physicality of our world. Hey look, it’s happening already and building momentum – the seeds of the ultimate shared exhilaration, as more and more people learn to hold the quantum space within them, the space of creative light (surely this is what enlightenment means) until the physical manifestation of that vibration is able to take shape in our world at large.

Importantly, like receiving the influx of pure potential that is a solar flare, the process of integration begins to flow with ease as soon as we stop rushing to greet the new, forcing it into physical form before physicality can easily contain it (and so stalling in pain and frustration that it hasn’t quite happened yet). Rather, by allowing the experience of this newness to happen (firstly) as a wave, a thought, an intention held, we ease it into position and can relax in the knowledge that its particle counterpart – its manifestation into physical form – will follow in good time and so the process becomes joyfilled and easy, punctuated with many mini-transformations and much exhilaration along the way. While transformation on the grander scale may take just a little longer to ease into physical form, those of us who are holding a quantum space for this to manifest in our world are already birthing the process, the first positive signs in physicality are abounding and we can be quite sure that it is coming.

About Helen White

Helen White is a professional artist and published writer with two primary blogs to her name. Her themes pivot around health and wellbeing, expanded consciousness and ways of noticing how life is a constant dance between the deeply subjective and the collective-universal, all of which she explores with a daily hunger to get to know herself better. Her blog Living Whole shines a light on living with high sensitivity, dealing with trauma and healing from chronic health issues. Spinning the Light is an extremely broad-based platform where she elucidates the everyday alchemy of relentless self-exploration. A lifetime of "feeling like an outsider" slowly emerged as neurodivergence (being a Highly Sensitive Person with ADHD, synaesthesia, sensory processing challenges and other defecits overlapping with giftedness). All of these topics are covered in her blogs, written from two distinct vantage points so, if you have enjoyed one of them, you may wish to explore the other for a different, yet entirely complimentary, perspective.
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3 Responses to Waving (not drowning)

  1. karinvandenbergh says:

    Intense blogpost Helen. A lot to take in, I imagine.
    And now, I’ve learned that for the first time quantum physics was able to observe an individual atom’s wave function complete with a single electron orbital ring. We are now able to peer directly into the sub-atomic world! Going deeper and deeper.. 🙂


  2. Pingback: Quantum being | scattering the light

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