Beyond doubt

Like many people I keep company with, I subscribe to a wide variety of material and thoughts from the academic to the (by some people’s standards) completely woo-woo; and the path through it all – me! My resonance is my only guide. Often the connections from one side to the other of this broad field are quite startling and, where they cross over, I find myself.

I deeply admire those who delve into the unknown seeking to keep to the neatly mown paths of the empirical in order to garner credibility. Yet I smile to see how a number of so-called accidental tweaks of direction in my own life have parted me from that well-kemp path, for good reason since it would have trimmed my wings. I could have so easily chosen the path of the academic…yet here I am, the explorer of many things, master of none.

For what more “proof” do I need except for myself; I Am that proof.  We all get to become the so-called proof of a new world that our previous world failed to believe in…since we had no evidence for it until it manifested. As we lead ourselves along the winding path that is beyond doubt, thus needing nothing more than ourselves to be that benchmark in the experience field, we become the only proof we ever needed, as ONE.

To do otherwise is like chasing down the wave distinct from the particle or trying to see both simultaneously; we are so busy looking outside of ourselves for these elusive things that we fail to notice how we are already that which we seek. We are masterfully being both, all at the same time….over and over again, in every moment.

joshua-earle-14603.jpgLet life itself prove what it needs to in each moment, only to prove something different before we can nail that thing down or build walls around it; this is how we evolve most swiftly. When our thoughts no longer recoil from that fear of being checked by an opinion, a doubt, a precedent that holds sway, we become our most creative selves, weaving experience across the most magnificent tapestry of infinite colours made up of synchronistically overlapping threads from all directions. We open up like a magnificent flower that never ceases from blooming; no longer cut off in our prime.

A little freedom from doubt can be useful in our practical lives, its good to know our train will turn up, the sun will rise, we will have food on our table…but when we absolutely insist upon it, it turns down all our dials, makes us stupid and childlike in our need to check in with others before we believe in our own thoughts.

We can’t define where we are headed, there is no map, yet we can feel our way there; letting feelings meet the mind at least half way. When we do this, we are like the blind person whose other senses become more receptive, finely tuned, remarkable. We develop a second-sight that takes us further than we have been before.

Patterns beguile us yet they can tie us down to the tight weft of an old cloth when, really, we want to be weaving a gauzier web. When we only ever use the past to define the future, we repeat that pattern even though we think we are expanding out from it since we are still tied to its centre, afraid to unhook.

When we let go of the anchor of what we think we know, we can feel so afraid, it can unhinge us, make us feel like we are losing our mind yet perhaps we are regaining it. This is the frontline of our highest possibility and it can feel like free-falling to go with the inner guidance of what feels true for us in each moment beyond what feels safe and well-defined. We feel like we might fall down the cracks between realities and yet we are our own guide rope, our own continuity. We  look back at where we were (so fundamentally doubtful in all our “safe” knowing) and realise that, in this new place, doubt is still there and then gone again…back again then dissolved…constantly renewing and revoking in each moment, so fast that there is simply no time to build any proof structures, which pre-suppose that there is anything to prove against. Suddenly, we are affirming, not defending; following the path of light. So now we are beyond doubt…not in the sense there is no doubt but in that we no longer live according to its stern wagging finger but are joyful, fearless, open-minded and free.

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Going quantum

Here’s what I’m noticing at this remarkable time: I’m noticing that the Schumann Resonance is “up” like never before; by a factor of 5 compared to it usual behaviour (something I wrote about on 5th February in my post “Keeping Your Vibration Up High” on my website Living Whole). I’m noticing, in tandem with that, my body is registering peculiar nerve sensations on the left side of my body (related to the right brain hemisphere) from the feet up, something never experienced before across more than a decade of having a super-sensitised nervous system during which almost everything has been happening on the right of my body. In fact it was this sudden switch-over that made me consider that something energetic was happening under my feet for a change, which led me to find out about the Schumann Resonance being so unusually high, which is (I discovered) being talked about across the internet. It led me, last night, to an article by Dr Joe Dispenza, written a couple of weeks after I made my own speculation about this new development being evolutionary in nature, in which he states the following:

Increases in frequency create increases in consciousness, and when our consciousness increases, we have greater awareness—and that’s what gamma brain waves are. Gamma brain waves, which can be more than twice as high as high beta brain waves, represent an aroused state in the brain, however, they are not connected to the survival states of emergency mode, but correlated with a kind of super consciousness and awareness, as well as higher amounts of love and compassion. As the earth goes through her metamorphosis, maybe we too have to transition through this time of emotional intensity related to beta brain waves before we enter a new consciousness of gamma brain wave states. And wouldn’t that upgrade our nervous system and expand our perception and awareness of reality?

Perhaps we are on the verge of a great evolutionary jump.

The fact I am no longer alone in drawing such a conclusion from this news about the Schumann Resonance heartens me in my positive interpretation of what feels like an extremely interesting turn of events.

Then I’m noticing all the ways that this upsurge in Gaia’s “heartbeat”  presents differently to when we have solar events playing out, which (as I’ve written about many times now) register in my nervous system as some of my most familiar “symptoms”. What is starkly different is that solar events tend to trigger my neurology starting with my head and working downwards, primarily on the right side of my body; associated with the left hemisphere of the brain.

Hmmm. This led me to ask the inevitable, are we seeing more examples of “yin and yang” in action here (subject of my recent post); played out through these complementary impulses of the earth beneath our feet and the star at the centre of our solar system –  two formidable forces pushing us to our next level of evolution? I can’t help but think so. For a long time, I’ve observed certain trends when the sun is active, as it is right now following a flare on 20th February (described on Space Weather thus – “SOLAR TORNADO OVER-ROTATES, EXPLODES: Yesterday, an explosion on the sun’s eastern limb hurled a twisted plume of debris more than 250,000 km above the solar surface..”). These solar events can feel extraordinarily “yang” in their impulse and the sun has been associated with the masculine aspect for as long as we have had the civilisations to talk about it. Conversely, the Schumann Resonance feels like “yin” in action. I am now wondering whether, as the Schumann Resonance has been on the increase (since a moderate peak in 2014; but nothing so dramatic as we have seen in 2017), the push-back of the sun leaves us “stranded” for a time in the beta frequency range, which can induce feelings of over-arousal, imbalance and survival fear. What if the Schumann Resonance uses those times of solar flare to push hard against the counterforce and then, when the sun suddenly eases off, that’s when the Schumann rockets over that frequency edge into the gamma range that is associated with superconsciousness, awareness, love and compassion?  I  can’t help noticing how the Schumman Resonance exactly lives up to the idea of yin as “shadow” since she is to be found where the sun (solar energy) is not. In otherwords, she provides the very opposite impulse to those energetics that come at us from the direction of the sun (I like to think of them as yin and yang yodelling to each other more so than in some sort of conflict), and we get caught in the evolutionary cross-fire of their cosmic interaction.

In my own experience, solar events tend to present as migraines, heat, acidity, inflammation and a feelings of overstimulation (instigated at the time of the event; which points at a quantum connection to the sun). In fact, I’ve learned, the best way to cope is to go deeply towards the opposite impulse and make life as “yin” for myself as possible until things settle down. For some time, I have been noticing (such as my localised world  presents such observations) an increase in aggressive or hostile behaviour; or perhaps I am simply being more vigilant myself at these times. For instance, I always notice a trend of email scams targeting artists like myself with attempted sales using fake payment methods at these times when the sun is active. Also an increase in cases of fly-tipping in the countryside where I walk. These are fundamentally hostile, “couldn’t-care-less about other people or the planet” behaviours that set out to use and abuse other people since they come from a separation and  survival-fear perspective. This very morning, in the wake of the solar storm overnight, I had to suddenly swerve around a huge pile of concrete and other rubbish abandoned in the middle of a narrow country lane next to a blind bend, dumped in such a way that could so easily cause a head-on collision between two cars yet the perpetrator clearly had no care for that versus saving the cost and effort of going to the municipal tip. I notice in myself a rise in the frustrations I feel around making a living (survive fears) that seldom come up at other times since I tend to prioritise other things, most of the time. A friend has just cancelled her visit due to a sudden onset of extreme back pain and my daughter is consumed with frustration to do with  the “competitive” vibe at school. It’s like our dials get turned up suddenly at these times…yet most people hardly notice the patterns since they are looking at everything through eyes that are deeply invested in all the twists and turns of the survival “stories” they think they are locked into.

Yet when I registered the Schumann coming up so high, I couldn’t help noticing new feelings coming up with it; ones which were a power match of anything the sun has ever given rise to in my physical body and yet…different. I notice how there has been a new level of joined-up thinking about everything I am doing and collaborating upon with others, across a whole vast range of subjects. I feel inspired yet constantly surprised by the unexpected twists and turns of life’s most synchronistic flow. There is something newly imaginative about the subplots that are unexpectedly unfolding for me, as though life is now moving along to a rather magical script written by me at the highest level and everything dipped in gilt-edged potential. All of this feels energised…a bit like a solar flare can make me feel…yet in a different, softer way. I have had all these bizarre nerve pains ebbing and flowing in my foot, leg and hip… yet have kept myself  out of fear; knowing, somehow, it is all perfectly fine, a sign that Gaia is now stretching, yawning…and meeting the sun half-way. In other words, in some very fundamental way, I know I am untouched and unfazed by whatever presents to my physical body (my decade’s experience of weird and wonderful symptoms has taught me this) and am able to focus on the place where I am more than intact as the true focus of my reality. So, perhaps our most physical provocations are the very balancing act we have been waiting for, encouraging us to find a middle way where we are already whole and as one.

What’s this got to do with “going quantum”? Well, everything, it feels like, since as these two aspects play out their merry dance, I am left more than ever with that growing sense of the observer sat between them; the “I” that is watching the show. As has long been the story of my health journey, the more I pull back and observe that which is neither of these traits or sequences of events, the more I feel the sense of a new reality birth as “all that I am”, in the most abstract sense, is made even more tangible than what I used to think of as my “concrete” physical reality. Then, with the kind is synchronicity that is a prime instrument of the quantum perspective, I notice the same triangulation – two distinct “sides” and, in between them, the void that is me – play out across so many different aspects of life. Suddenly these triangles of experience are everywhere…and me sat like the pyramid point on the top of them all, experiencing what it feels like to be the unifier of everything in my experience realm.

For instance, I’m teaching myself the piano and it hadn’t escaped my notice how this instrument was an interesting choice in a year that feels all about bringing left and right hemispheres together. So, of course, I’ve been getting slowly used to using both hands on the keyboard at the same time and, yesterday, plunged into learning Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata. For two hours, I practiced those left and right hand parts separately then together, inching closer to harmonious collaboration all the time but still in such a studied and mechanical way. But it was when I woke this morning with a far more accomplished version of the piece already playing in my head that I somehow knew today’s practice would go better; since I had managed to internalise the melody and make it my own, beyond the learned and rather hesitant mechanics of first this hand then that hand (which is, you could say, how we have experienced the various stages of our evolution thus far, flipping from one hemisphere to the other and back again). This is what every musician brings to their instrument and the sheet music on the page; the unfathomable quality that is uniquely theirs and which makes their interpretation quite different to the way anyone else would play the same piece. We all do a version of this every day without even noticing most of the time; seldom placing our attention on that all-important space between our activities that is so uniquely “us” and which observes everything else that is going on and yet which stands back from it all. This is the quantum void that is neither particle or wave but something in between, choosing in each moment which way to go and opening whole new portals of possibility through the expansions of its limitless perspective. Its how we create our own unique reality and its time we realised how much scope we really have to play with this; to make our experience of life the way we really want it to be.

stefan-stefancik-106115.jpgI’ve been playing with the quantum perspective for years now and it comes very naturally for me to seek out the spaces where my mind gets to step into unlimited possibility, to find that sweet spot where I get to drive whatever manifests next through what I chose to focus on. And now, having taken The Nine Waves of Creation so seriously, I feel very strongly that  what we are seeing occur here is the Ninth Wave in action (see my previous posts Using the Nine Waves to Heal your life and Consciously Creating with the Ninth Wave). A friend of mine, who has also read Prof. Calleman’s book, pointed out that all the various left-right (black and white) hemispherical diagrams in the book, relative to the various evolutionary waves that we have been subjected to thus far in our history, resemble binary code: in other words, black and white could equate to 0:1, rearranged in a different format for each wave. My goodness, yes, she has a point and then this slotted into my own experiences of the Ninth Wave, which feel profoundly quantum in nature; like this quantum quality is what makes it quite different to all the previous waves in a similar way to how quantum computing is different to the binary computers that came before. For instance, when the Night phases of the Ninth Wave take me back “in time” to other eras in history in such a visceral way, it feels like quantum entanglement in action; like part of me is simultaneously existing in “those other times” and yet….there’s no mistaking it…I am profoundly aware that I am driving all those prior versions of self from THIS current perspective, like I am sat in a control room selecting  my choices from a giant switchboard. Perhaps the coincidence of more than one cellular memory of a previous wave during the “night” phase of the Ninth Wave is the equivalent of a superposition, creating a new quantum state out of a combination of a variety of other states…and that super-mind tying them together, us!

In other words, when two or more waves overlap, they have the potential to magnify themes that they share in common (for instance, where fifth and eighth wave themes coincide, this could exacerbate the effect of the “yin” or feminine traits that they have in common) or they could simply cancel each other out but, ultimately, as the conscious experiencer, we get to choose.

In other words, memories, emotions, thematic flashbacks, outdated belief systems, a whole variety of traumas or limited ways of seeing the world can flash through the mind and experience (and often do) during those phases….and yet, I know from experience, it’s just an opportunity to pick and choose, to iron out, to make different, to use those old building blocks like an under layer or foundation on which to build something more enlightened. I get to BE that creator-god in action, dipping my hand into all the perspectives of multiple lifetimes and select for myself what to carry forwards into the “day” phase that follows swiftly on its heels. And in those “day” phases of the Ninth Wave, it’s as though I am lit up with new possibilities; things tend to materialise almost as fast as I set those newly enlightened intentions to work on them and I can SENSE so powerfully how I drive it all with the focus of my mind. Previously hidden doorways seem to open up, the kind of people and information that evaded me a short time before suddenly appear right before my eyes (is this how I found Dr Dispenza’s article in such a timely way, as though I jumped timelines as soon as I considered that the Schumann Resonance had evolutionary significance?) and many pieces of life’s jigsaw fall effortlessly into place. The only limitation to ANYTHING, in the Ninth Wave, is how we choose to direct our minds including how well we come to know (and trust) our own power of focus and how fundamentally open and optimistic we are to allow anything to happen.

This IS the quantum mind in action and we are just starting to get our feel of all those new switches in a control room that has never been so expanded or unlimited in human form. In fact, we hardly dare believe that its true and so we so-often self-sabotage ourselves back to square one, failing to see how the super-power we have will keep looping us backwards (just as easily as forwards) if we focus too much on the shadows during the “night” phases, when we are tempted by so much that still evokes emotion and learned behaviour traits. So many of us still dive into those flashbacks of old only to lose ourselves back in the mire of them, missing that they are now (in the Ninth Wave) merely flashcards of opportunity and that there’s no NEED to keep jumping back in with both feet. I saw something in my newsfeed yesterday, one of those posts that are becoming so popular about how the divine feminine is hung all-around with the wounds of so many witch-hunts and tortures, so many eons of not being seen or heard ; well, yes, but if we keep licking those old wounds, using social media to keep pumping out verbose descriptions of all that we’ve been through “in the past”, shoving graphic images of our trauma beneath the impressionable eyes of a tentatively awakening public, we are only going to keep dragging humanity back into even more trauma. This is so important to know about the quantum perspective – to our mind, the visuals we conjure up in imagination are just as real as anything that is happening right now in front of us since it makes no distinction between memory and experience. We’ve ALL been through vast amounts of trauma before – that’s everyone, without exception – so we are at a choicepoint: we can choose to stay there or we can say enough now, lets focus on what we really want to manifest as our reality.

As soon as we get the feel of that quantumly creative void that is absolutely ours to wallpaper and decorate as we choose, we get to move this show along now; manifesting a world that far exceeds anything we have imagined since we haven’t fully opened that box yet, having always held back until now. So we can notice the push and pull on our planet with great interest now (and there will be a great deal more push and pull yet…) and we can choose to get excited by what we hope it all means; yes. Above all, we can allow ourselves to know that, ultimately, we get to decide what it all means and how it turns out…which is to take hold of the super-potential of the quantum void  to be found inside  of all things in creation; that’s everything we think of as most solid, including us. This is where we create from, this is where we are already whole, this is the aspect from which we get to lead the process of realising unity consciousness on this planet…guided from the “place” where it already resides. This is what it really means to “go quantum” and its an opportunity that awaits us all the very moment we choose from this place.


If looking at the world through quantum “eyes” still phases you, there is a really accessible, award-winning film that might help to make it more relatable to your everyday experiences. Its called What the Bleep Do We Know!? (available to stream via the link) and is how I discovered Dr. Joe Dispenza and his blog. Here’s his article as refered to above – “What does the spike in the Schumann Resonance Mean?

Keeping your vibration Up High” is my original article about the up-turn of the Schumann Resonance on Living Whole

The Nine Waves of Creation – a paradigm shifting book by Carl Johan Calleman PhD

Posted in Books, Consciousness & evolution, Divine feminine, divine masculine, Health & wellbeing, Life choices, Life journey, Menu, Personal Development, Recovery chronic illness, Space weather, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Lets sort this out, what are “yin” and “yang”?

“Yin and yang” – I talk about them such a lot but what are they in our everyday lives, beyond some abstract idea or a symbol we see daubed on the side of camper vans and on people’s tattoed flesh? Well yes, they are very “real”aspects of human existence; pivotal, in fact, to where we are in our evolution and yet how many of us have a clue what these things really are? As  phrases such as “the masculine” and “the feminine” become increasingly fashionable parlance in our world, it strikes me that many of us are  still no clearer what it is we refer to (this has nothing to do with gender) and even I find myself stumped to adequately do justice to the topic when put on the spot though I feel like I have very real, relatable experience of both yin and yang, which is why I am making them the topic of so much of my writing. Both abstract yet utterly fundamental to our very existence  – is this the nature of the beast, are we really confused into not knowing ourselves to this degree? So, while confusion reigns or we treat them as some sort of weird spiritual concept with no applicable meaning in our lives, how do we get any closer to using what we understand about yin and yang to recalibrate our experience of the human condition? This is really important stuff we are so studiously side-stepping or being so flippant about and I want to take a deeper dive into what it is that I have come to know about these very different aspects of our reality play out together.

There at the heart of that sentence is the very “issue” we have at hand; this tendency to see them as divided, as black and white, or Venus and Mars…you get the idea but is that really the case? The way we talk about them, you would think Yin and Yang were some sort of cartoon couple presenting for marriage counselling. Some of us tend to regard the “yin” or the feminine as the heart and the “yang” as the mind….just another way of looking at it…but it took a friend to suggest to me that it was actually the other way around (and me to bristle with all the uncomfortable feelings of what felt like a territorial invasion) for me to notice how neither perspective is strictly “correct” so why the hot-under-the collar reaction that rose up in me? This “competitive edge” feels like the very problem that underpins the current stand-off between two so-called divergent ways of looking at the world; flagging up how off-target we have got since they are not meant to be in conflict at all, in fact they are so deeply woven INTO one another that they are irrevocable tied to each other’s fate (this is what we have so far missed…which is what has been the “downfall” of humanity thus far). When we suppress either the masculine OR the feminine, the black or the white, the east or the west, the logical or the spiritual (you get the idea….) we all stand to lose out; there is no choice to be made. The wholeness to which we are heading, evolutionarily speaking, requires that we really start to get this in some extremely practical ways and at all levels of our lives!

yin_yang-svgSo lets get to it by summoning a more practical visual in our mind’s eye. For a prop, conjure up the familiar yin-yang symbol. The yin/feminine is considered to be the “black” part of this and the yang/masculine the “white”; and this derives from the idea that the yang is “light” and yin “shadow” (a concept which goes all the way back to ancient culture…and that’s not just a Chinese idea since all of our ancestors seem to have had a version of this symbol and its associated meaning). This is one of the areas where we have got ourselves all ravelled up in recent times since people confuse shadow with “bad” or regard earth as somehow “less than” sun; missing the point that without something “other” than unlimited light we would have no experiences at all but would remain as one with source. On the premise we chose to have an experience of something, earth is that very thing from which all of our tangible human experiences derive or are birthed (like a seed from the soil, child from the womb…) and any artist knows that a painting is nothing without its dark spaces, its contrasts without which it would be impossible to create anything of definition. Our very creativity as human beings – which is source getting to express and thus know itself in form – derives from the ability to dip our brushes in that shadow, making outlines with our “brush”, so that we get to choose the void spaces that we want to be held within those lines; which is yin in a nutshell. More on that later.

So, first notice the complementary dot or circle in each half. This is absolutely key and occurs at every level of life, from the way energy plays out in our human bodies to the way the world and even the universe organises itself (yes, as described by Prof. Carl Calleman in his book “The Nine Waves of Creation” even the universe is organised according to the masculine and feminine divide…..) But then, this is not a system of one versus the other and  it is crucial to note that each of these aspects incorporates an expression of the other within itself….like those circles on the symbol above.

In other words, without the “white” circle inside the “black” portion of the symbol, we do not have the yin and without the “black” circle inside the white symbol we do not have the yang. Each of them are both black and white, not either-or. It is the composite  of both that is just so important and yet it is the very factor that seems to get overlooked or down-played all the time, possibly because we have been entrained to be so adverse to the concepts of “darkness” or “shadow” that we try to pretend it’s not there, seeing only light.

yinLets look at it in ways with which we are more familiar; in terms of our actual life experiences. The yin could be said to be the heart as “love” (I’m not talking about the physical organ), held within the human body which is the tangible structure that “creates shadows” and which defines our edges as this person or that person (you could say, a “black” outline shape with a white “heart” circle lit-up inside). Love itself is like a white void…not in the sense of being empty but of being fundamentally undefined, unconditional and universal to us all. This is the level at which we all connect with one another, regardless of all the trimmings of life. Our physicality serves as a “hard” supportive vessel to the ephemeral “heart”, like a chalice that supports something so fluid that, without its sides, it would disappear into the vast sea of everything; so, put together, they become our holy grail, you could say (which is why our out-of-balance culture has developed such a strong sense of seeking that grail like something we have mislaid). A distortion of that is when we can only see our light in the dark; thus we keep generating dark structures/circumstances in which to hold up our candle flame; which has fed our history much more than we probably yet own.

yangWhen we make our humanness central to our experience rather than the heart; like a solid backbone structure to everything we know, the softness of our experiences gather on the outside of that and so we – potentially – get to look out upon a vast unlimited reality from a sort-of anchor point of human perspective, which offers us such a great deal of material with which to play, not to mention a feeling of security since we become attached to the feelings of familiarity and control that come with the turf. This attachment can morph into our biggest problem and the whole paradigm of such an experience can turn into a monstrous stronghold that we defend like a fortresses lest anybody should come and knock a hole in what we think we know and “own”. We can get carried away with ideas of the mind and a sort-of addiction to how powerful we think these make us at the centre of our own universe, ceasing to see anything else. When this happens, evolution is seemingly halted in its tracks (or at least, its breaks are slammed on though it can never be fully interfered with). In its most divine expression, the yang perspective of experience was always meant to serve us with the most creative potential imaginable; a whole universe with which to play freely, using the inventiveness of our minds…and yet the overriding impulse to strength and control what we think we know has, so-far, insisted upon bolstering what is human and denying all else. This is the yang in its most distorted and counter-evolutionary form and is the era of our history that we are just emerging from.

Neither yin or yang perspetcives are “wrong” or less-than although their distortions, when either of them get out of balance, can create systemic problems at all levels of human experience. It’s when we put the two together as one balanced unit that we get to realise the wholeness that is our destiny; now realizable as never before in the whole of our human history.

Where we have been before in that history has tended to emphasise one “side” at the expense of the other. We have had our matriarchal perspectives before (and they have been reasserting themselves again recently) where it was all about this expansive soft experience with the little human within that infinite scheme, regarded as smaller by far than this endless sea of connectivity linking all life together as one giant organism of barely tangible energy. Yet within that scheme, there was a real power to being human, albeit the kind of power that was unfathomable, unmeasurable…we somwhow knew what we were in the great scheme of things without the words or hard-edged concepts to describe ourselves. Then the scales tipped and the masculine asserted, turning everything inside out. The desire to label and decipher, to own, predict and control, to expand and compete for more….all these urges grew out of the masculine. This territorial expansion of “what we believed ourselves to be” was at once empowering in that we now claimed to be (and thus acted as) the masters of our universe and yet it was also deadly limiting since we became the inmates of our own mental prison cell. Our whole world was suddenly limited to the capacity of the human mind, which only knows what it has experienced before. Without empirical evidence or “proof”, nothing could truly exist and so we were condemned to live life in endless circles, seldom spiralling out of our own dire circumstance since we could only manifest what was predictable, based on what history had shown us. While very small lip service has been given to our more imaginative, intuitive viewpoints (things we envision or know without knowing how we know them…), these have largely been out of favour for a very long time now. No one really takes those other “wacko” perspectives seriously to this day; which is the fault of our current paradigm.

In the human body, the territorial urge of the yang – to keep creating things and making them manifest in solid form, at the cellular level – can backfire in a world out of balance, expressing as the kind of disease that chooses the very tangible materials of lymph, organ and bone as its building blocks; including to create cancer. Cells backfire or get greedy, hard-shelled barriers are built and suddenly we have some of the most deadly illnesses of our time which…through our determination to fight them, which is only to push back against them with more of the very energy that they are an expression of…we create endless wars that really have no victor in the end.

Conversely, when the yin backfires in human form, she chooses the most ephemeral means of expression that she can; which, in the human body, such as fluid or, better still, electrical impulses…the realms of tissue inflammation and then leading into the domain of the central nervous system where chaotic signals can be fired across large distances in no time at all, creating havoc on a very broad scale. This allows the yin impulse to play out as “flow” in action; made manifest as us, using the most cobwebby structures that we have at our disposal in order to move swiftly from one area of the body to the next whilst constantly evading being pinned down, diagnosed or labelled. Really, the level at which this all happening is quantum; the level where thoughts drive cells, which is why healing modalities that make use of that quantum level of existence, not to mention meditation and mindfulness, are far more potent than pills in this area

The gift arrives in either of these situations as soon as we realise that both the yin and the yang have a place in our biology and, when they over-express in either of these ways, it is because they have so-far been denied proper expression in ways that would manifest as homeostasis in the body. In ways both subtle and overt (could even be deeply buried in our subconscious) we have omitted to include them in some way or other and so balance is being asserted for us; through us…as cells that speak our truth for us, until we notice. Perhaps now more than ever, this systemic rebalancing act will assert itself through the biology of people that are most in need of this timely mission to reclaim their wholeness just as we all do this together on a global level. I say this from the personal stance of having watched such a recalibration play out in my own cells over the last 16 years and beyond.

In other words, when the extreme expression of either yin or yang reaches its tipping point in our system, the in-built antidote to that extremism arrives as its very opposite flowing at its heart; the circle within the symbol, that we might see it more clearly. Like the antidote that grows close to the “poison”, so our own answer lies inbuilt within us and, when it first starts to manifest, it often seems chaotic, destructive and like the very opposite of what we are all about (like a “stranger” or enemy in our own camp)….since it is that very opposite; necessarily so. This is how the yin or the yang (whichever is most called for, in order to recalibrate) expresses itself in counterpoise with what was too-loudly having its say before that.

So, in our era of entrenched science arrives the quantum perspective to blow all empirical theory apart and in the hardness of our cancers, did we but know it (I have a friend working with this very thing) we find the loving perspective that was at the heart of the very reason this thing started to grow in us….for all it really wanted was the opportunity to experience the unleashed creativity that so many of us have written out of the story of our lives. I strongly suspect that understanding this “creative” and “loving” aspect of cancer is an in-road to cancer prevention and treatment that will be explored in the future; as we start to really work with the connection between our suppressed emotions and desires as made manifest in the cells of the body.

Likewise, in time, that aspect of yin that feels suppressed and unheard, that longs to find voice, that has no place in the world as we have currently made it since a world based on “proof” gives no credence to that which “just knows”, that is innate; that aspect will find other means to express than through the misfiring cells of the planet or the human body. Once we allow this aspect to “talk” and be listened to, there will be no need for the most unfathomable expressions of our planet or of our human spirit, which is currently wailing in the frustration and pain of being ignored. We will hear Gaia’s cries as sensitively as we currently drill and manipulate and suppress her living systems as though we own them; and in our human beings (whether male or female) we will encourage and reward expression of that which is without label, currency or proof as equally as we currently give credence to what we think we know “as concrete” from the machinations of our logical mind.

So, going back to my original point, the yin is neither the heart nor the mind but the heart WITHIN the structure of the physical human body, the white dot of light within the “dark” space (you could say shadow…in the sense that anything that is made of structure creates shadow when stood in the path of the light). So, the yin is not the shadow so much as the shadow that includes the light within; making that light possible, “black and white” together as one. The heart-flame is like a candle that lights up that space from within…and yet, without the dark, there would be no contrast to show up that light since there would be light everywhere. I have come to experience this most viscerally through the journey of my health; the dark path of which has shown up so many lights that I might not otherwise have come to experience. The fact this journey coincided with the activation of the Eighth Wave in our evolution process (I refer you once again to Prof. Calleman’s book “The Nine Waves of Creation“) is no coincidence to me; telling me that the yin – consisting of both darkness and light together – was in full expression-mode for me during those years, bringing me back to wholeness. There is a space within that yin where all things are already known and fully reconciled, even while the physical shell of “not knowing” and utter confusion seems to surround it and this place is where the most profound healing has taken place, for me, in recent years.

Conversely, the yang is not the mind per se but the mind within the context of a spiritual, ephemeral, impossible-to-pin-down universe that will continue to elude that ever-seeking mind for as long as there is electricity sparking through its neurology (“black within white”, both together, in the opposite configuration to yin). The human condition, at once, separates the human mind from truly ever “knowing all” while providing all the great incentives for that mind to keep seeking and longing to know. And so, within the context of a broader spiritual awareness (not closed off in some sort of empirical nightmare where proof is everything…), the open mind becomes “source seeking to know itself”, which is the very pivot-point (such as we can ever truly understand what the point of life is…) of life.

When we put these two aspects together (that inquisitive open mind fuelled by the incentive of all that it can see in the light of day and the tender torchlight of the heart that shines unconditionally in all circumstances including darkness), we have the yin and yang in perfect partnership; neither truly complete without the other. Perhaps once we stop insisting on such a hard definition between what is “light” and “dark” in our experiences we will start to heal what feels most unhealable in our world. Try insisting to those who take a stance about cancer that the motivation of those cells is a love of creativity longing to make itself manifest in form and watch the typical reaction of incredulity and even anger that unfolds (my friend with cancer deals with this almost every day). We are so entrenched, even in these areas where we consider ourselves so enlightened and, until we stop taking sides and fighting what we think we know at these levels, the struggle of life will continue to play out in the most unbridled way. When we allow the most brittle, obstructive, nonnegotiable structures of our world to be seen as creative love in action (at some level of their motivation), they are received back as love and so their hard walls dissolve into light. When this happens, we are left with their core motivation (no longer walled in) which is the darkly defined circle in a sea of universal light; a desire to be here, to manifest as something, to create what hasn’t been created before in a sea of all potential. When we bear witness to this desire to create, we get to channel it into other pursuits of our chosing; creative activities that uplift us and others around us and no longer require our cells to aggressively misfire and entrench their way into being. The same could be said of our world at large…

Likewise, so many people are in resistance to giving form and expression to the most ephemeral ideas that they cradle in their heart; holding them secretly or even fearfully to their chest yet much too guarded and bashful to say them where they will be heard in a world that feels judgemental and obsessed with “proof” and “credentials”. Say them or find some means of expressing them, I urge you; or they WILL express in other ways and, ultimately, through the most bizarrely ephemeral, impossible to pin-down health conditions that will keep you entrenched in so much confusion you will feel like you are losing your mind. This is the body’s way of insisting that you take what is intangible, undiagnosed and, often, not given any credence by others your full and serious attention; more so than anything you previously thought you knew with your mind. It becomes a training ground for making the yin an equal partner in your experience range; until you know the ropes and can extend that practice to all aspects of your life. If words elude you, give this desire to express the inexpressible some paint to play with (as I did) and then let that confidence lead you to where you do, finally, dare to give them words and watch how your life (and the lives of those around you, encouraged by how you lead the way…) begins to blossom. Most of all, let it express as you; as love. This is the flower of the yin opening up from the heart, a process that only starts with the dark soil that feeds its roots.

This post is, itself, such an expression of what some might consider impossibly abstract and without demonstrable substance and yet the gifts keep arriving from my growing courage to say outloud what others might pass by as the deluded machinations of a rambling mind that thinks it sees well beyond the mind’s limitations. Those gifts include the growing number of people that make contact to share their resonance and the many ways that these perspectives are impacting their lives in some very tangible ways. Here is one of the first clues that a great rebalancing is presently underway; that more and more people are prepared to consider experiencing life without the filter of seeing it all one way or the other, entrenched in ideas of right and wrong, black and white, proven or no. This inevitably leads to the kind of wholeness that  our world very-much needs at this evolutionary juncture; and it all starts with us.

 

Posted in Consciousness & evolution, Divine feminine, divine masculine, Life journey, Menu, Personal Development, Universe | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Polishing-up your energy field

When we are similar, but not the same, as another (whether that “other” takes the form of an individual person, a point of view or a full-blown community or movement) that similarity can take us on a journey of self-discovery; one which calls us to step in and play our unique part, which may be to say “enough” to those differences at some point. It’s a key part of the process of recognising our “I”-ness when we spot these subtle variations from our own theme and say “no thank you” to them; which is to live most closely as our divine self since this is exactly why Source came into living form – to better know itself from many angles. Your angle is unique to you and you are here to express that viewpoint through your actions and choices, honing that experience by saying “yes” and even “no” to situations that present themselves in each moment, remaining fluid and responsive, not dogmatic and habitual, which only slows you down to the point of hardly evolving at all. People can get so confused by that; they become so focussed upon “oneness” that they think, at some level, they have to stop expressing opinion or individuality and say yes to everything. To do so is to miss the point of being human where the most direct route to realising your highest aspect in form – as part of a collective – is to be yourself as closely and expertly as you can possibly be and this is so much more important than all those alliances and affiliations with which you may have cluttered-up your life along the way.

In other words, the occasional clear-out of some of the people and things that clutter-up our life is as essential as clearing out those cupboard of old stuff we don’t know why we keep any more…and it should be attended to as often as possible. Especially on social media, we form these knee-jerk attachments to individuals and ideas that we forget to re-evaluate further down the road and so we just leave them there, attached to our energy field for the longest time spans. Having a good clear-out has never been more important than at this time as we upward-spiral ourselves to a brand new reality faster than we would have ever thought was possible before.

We all know it before we embark on such a project: some of the supposed matches we have made with other expressions of energy (since that is what people and ideas are…) may look like they are familiar to us at first (like versions of ourselves mirrored back at us) but, scratch under the surface, and many of them aren’t at all. We may have formed these attachments years ago before we changed so unutterably that we’re simply not that person anymore; or it may be a case that this thing seemed more familiar than it really was because of something it seemed to represent to us when we first came across it. We tend to dive upon these familiarities when we see them, especially if we carry the burdensome belief that we are particularly unusual to the vast majority of other people or that we don’t really fit in. This makes us more desperate than ever to “find our tribe” and we can tend to imagine we see this tribe in all sorts of places where, really, what we are seeing reflected back is our own wishful thinking. So this person or entity expresses an idea or two and we think “ah, that’s me” and we follow them…and half a decade later, there they still are, in our morning newsfeed. We build whole structures such as communities and even close friendships around them (which is not to say that all of these have to go) and yet….long after this pivot-point truly resonates…we ignore the uncomfortable truth that this person or thing no longer speaks to the truth in our heart. In fact, we may notice how we find them jarring to our sensibilities. We know that, if we were to meet them for the first time right now, we would pass them right by and yet….still…there they are in our close circle of activity so we put up and shut up. This is careless living, at the energetic level; and it can’t help but have an impact on our lives. We even know this, if we are honest with ourselves, and yet we have learned to ignore the signs or feel bullied out of listening to this higher wisdom. Well, anyone who has read my posts for any length of time will know just what I think about bully energy and that it’s one of the themes I am here to help dissolve. Its days are truly numbered in the forthcoming paradigm of humanity and it can be given its marching orders just as soon as we say so…by choosing different, disengaging our energy from it.

In fact the feeling of familiarity that caught our eye in the first place can be the very thing that makes these affiliations so tricky since they allow this entity to get very close to our heart core and our daily routines; their mindsets and words slip under our wire until we almost believe they are are own and so we get drawn in. Even when we start noticing the resistance we have to them, the energy we give to examining and ruminating over this conundrum with ourselves and others (“why don’t I like the feelings around this person any more?”) only gives the misfit attachment even more energy in our life. If we are still giving our time and thoughts to this thing, we might as well give up the keys to the kingdom since they have us either way. Our own spiral of spinning energy can nose dive whenever we see them pop up in our notifications or hear their name; and so we are still being siphoned of our energy, knowingly or otherwise….but only we give them this amount of our energy, through our attachment. Its like the battery drain that occurs when one domineering electrical device is unwittingly placed close to another and suddenly there is no power to switch our gizmo on in the morning; well, people and ideas can be like that to us too, draining us away so subtly we hardly notice it taking place and yet it happens, if we let it.

The key is to notice those pieces of communication that leave us – repeatedly – feeling “off” and to take the necessary action to clear them out of our personal space. That’s not to say we have to clear out people who deliver occasional bad news or have a rant about something, we all have those moments…but when it consistently happens, especially dressed up as spiritual wisdom…it may well be time to move them on. By turning that blind eye rather than dealing with the situation, we passively give the nod to whatever energy this thing is doling out and we send misleading messages to others who may value our example and remain in, say, a community for fear that they are alone in wanting to leave. By passively remaining there, saying or doing nothing, we seem to give encouragement or approval to this entity and this can be so misleading when it comes to the signals we send out to those who value our viewpoint (and this is where we are undeniably connected to others in ways that make a difference). Its true, many people seek a sense of security and validation through the numbers of others with whom they are associated – its why they like to form so many groups – and this inevitably means that whole communities are built upon no one daring to say anything contrary (or leave) in case they are suddenly the odd one out or missing something “important”. Because of our convoluted history, fear of marginalisation runs deep through the cellular memory of humanity and this fear superglues people to whole mindsets they no longer share or feel comfortable with. Our die-hard habit is to attach to something…even if we are really not that sure about it…to safeguard our own survival but those times have now ended and we need to cultivate the nerve to disengage with what no longer feels resonant with who we are at our core and be that leading example of someone who lives their truth through all of their actions, even (perhaps especially) the unspoken ones. There’s no need to engage in conflict or get all judgemental about anything or anyone you don’t agree with; you can vote with your feet – which is really your energy (which is where it is all happening anyway).

Yes, the time has come to be done with that “insurance policy” reason for being attached to anything; its time to take the personal steps that walk us to our own truth and away from what no longer feels resonant…and if we don’t know what that means, our feelings will tell us. When I encounter behaviour that feels “off” to me, I experience a whole body reaction that seems to emanate from my solar plexus like a knot in the stomach followed by a wave of deeply uncomfortable sensations..maybe heat, prickles, shaking, weakness. It doesn’t last long but its strong enough for me to take it seriously so I bless the nature of the extreme alarm-system I have running that, once upon a time, I know I kept suppressed so hard that it had to use other, more pervasive and long-lasting (health affecting!), means of gaining my attention. These days, I give this early warning system my ear and I follow through with my actions whenever the necessity arises, knowing I owe this to myself above all things and that this is how I build the self-trust that allows me to thrive, come what may. You could call it “integrity” and its like a spinal column of strength that sees me through anything, now I allow it to be there. Its amazing how the body calms down AND becomes more responsive, in ways that support you, when you offer it this degree of respect. A woman reaching her middle years will find she has these body-skills waiting for her to hone in order to best support herself through the rest of her life, as her wisdom allows. Many women suppress the first signs of this occurring, reading the “symptoms” as though their health is crashing all around them but really they are stepping into their power-years, if they are prepared to listen to all the abundant clues.

let-goSo, if I need to say “thanks but no thanks” to an entity or person; that’s what I do then I let it go to the four winds with no regrets, nothing left to even have to forgive (which is a Sixth Wave concept that just attaches more energy to the very thing you are letting go of). Ruminating upon what just happened (analysing or discussing it) afterwards is only to continue giving it more energy; so, without judgement, I let it go…I mean COMPLETELY go; even thanking it for being the “dark angel” catalyst that it was in my life (until its expiry date came up). Its a mindset we can spin out into all aspects of our life; areas such as consumer choices, family belief systems, office politics and our very lifestyle….if these no longer fit, let them go, without the post-mortem. For the record, we are so over needing gurus to show us how to find our way; we are our own gurus now and all the guidance we will ever need to help steer our lives is encompassed by the north star shining inside our own heart.

By the way, cutting ties when called for isn’t a case of even more “separation mentality”, as so many people seem to fear (which is one of those examples of a popular, if over-used, spiritual idea turned back in on itself, leading to inertia and disempowerment). Rather, its a case of getting MUCH closer to the truth of who we are as an individual…which has the knock-on effect of cleaning up the intention of the whole of humanity, which can only bring us all closer together as we show our true colours even more brightly than ever. All those most innocuous-seeming tendrils of allegiance fuelled by fear and self-interest, which are really the parasitical blight to our upward growth, can fall away to allow unfettered expansion to occur. When we give our energy to what “isn’t us” we straightjacket and dilute all that we truly are and this stalls or even crashes our progression towards a whole new level of experience.

When we throw ourselves out across such a wide area, energetically, we become like the spider sat at the centre of the most ambitious spiders web; which lacks in practicality what it gains in kudos for being so immense (but since when has the size of its web been more important to the spider than where she wisely chooses to place it; this has been the distortion of the recent paradigm, which is all about “more” and “bigger”). The spider is now registering so many vibrations from so many far corners of her web that she hardly know which signal is the one she wants to be listening to for her sustenance so she ends up bewildered, exhausted from running here and there checking all these calls for her attention and…in the end…utterly depleted. I see this whenever I notice people with hundreds if not thousands of connections on Facebook, like they are in some sort of competition to have the most “friends”; but what is the point of this when you are no longer noticing the conversations that are most important to you and are drowned out by announcements that bring your energy field crashing down? I have a rule of thumb…no more than 70 connections (and that still feels too many…) and, when I havent had a positive interaction with someone for more than 6 months, I reconsider whether to be attached to them at all. Make no mistake….all these things we connect ourselves to (whether “live” with interaction or not) hold  a distinct electrical charge and are an attachment of sorts so we owe it to ourselves to be mindful about whether we actually want them in our field.

Politeness can also keep these attachments going for far longer than they were ever meant to be there…as can business interest (staying connected to lots of people in case they help fuel your income) or sheer complacency. All of these things can be detrimental to keeping your own tone as crystal clear (and truly representative of YOU) as it can be; for yourself and for others to “hear”. The long-running status quo we allow to remain in place can make our energy field stodgy and resistant to wonderful new possibilities coming in…and we barely notice this until, suddenly, something jolts us to our feet and we notice what we have been putting up with for the longest time. These non-matching voltages plugged into our own are often invisible to the eye and yet they can be straining our circuit or even on the verge of blowing our fuseboard. The very fact of being connected can hold us back from achieving our potential trajectory since we all know how an inch or two of distortion at ground level can take us completely off course once we reach for the sky. Its amazing how, once you clear your field of what no longer matches, you can feel your energy flame flicker up inside and, all of a sudden, you are attracting better situations, more resonant connections, good-vibe interactions left and right, without any effort at all. This is because you just made room in your field for fresh new encounters that can now hear your pristine clarion call summoning them into your experience!

I’ve focused a lot on social media but all the same things apply in our daily lives, including our work situations. We sometimes have people in those fields of operation that we “put up with” without really wanting to; and these can either be like the heavy old piece of furniture that we no longer like sat right in the middle of our “room” or like an insidious vapour that gets into all the nooks and crannies of our being, making us feel toxic. Either way, by not dealing with them…or at least setting firm boundaries of what is acceptable (or not) when we are with them…we nail ourselves to their reality and its like unwanted ballast hanging off our balloon when we want to take off. Whether in virtual or “real” life, taking charge of these situations can elicit some remarkable shifts that we register suddenly in our bodies. I’ve heard people describe how physical pains or blockages spontaneously cleared when they took these situations in hand; I have a friend who made such a move and her blocked sinuses disappeared in the very same moment. Whilst this might sound bizarre or too trivial to take seriously, one thing I have come to appreciate is how the body never lies. Dr Christiane Northup often talks about how the painful breast cyst she was about to have removed suddenly healed when she dealt with an emotional blockage around a dysfunctional relationship she had allowed to perpetuate.  One part of the body that can often register blockage or pain when we avoid taking charge of this portion of our life can be the throat chakra since we are, quite literally, failing to speak our truth when we allow other energies attached to our field to speak for us as though by proxy.

Even if these characters or entities in our lives do not seem all that formidable by themselves, when we are attached to many multiples of such people and their viewpoints that are out of alignment with who we truly are, this can have a compounding effect and….like any quantum reality…will start to permeate our physical reality through the consistency of its vibration. In other words, what starts out as complacency around an invisible choicepoint (doing nothing about something that requires our attention) can turn into the hard fabric of our life circumstances. By choosing (and expressing) or OWN unique vibration through all our attachments and interactions, we take back our power and the reins of our life in a way that is so on-key with the current times, which are geared for the kind of super-rapid evolution that occurs on the back of integrity and empowered selfhood, without all the heavy baggage of other people’s belief systems. As ever, I assert that the area of personal evolution (in other words, being the change we want to see in the world) is exactly where “the rubber meets the road” of planetary evolution and by polishing-up our own energy field until it sparkles, giving it the springclean and makeover it deserves, we walk that talk  in the most remarkable and instantly realisable way.

 

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Are we addicted to problem solving?

When we paint a picture of some-sort of utopian future we say we like to envision and then feel all the frustration, yet again, of not getting even close, are we failing to take into account one very important trait of human nature? Are we – in fact –  addicted to the journey, the challenge, the obstacles, the messes to clear up, the struggle for survival; in fact, is this the part we really like the best which is why we keep setting ourselves back?

In fact, is this trait such a fundamental part of why we came here to have a human experience, as opposed to choosing one of a zillion other life forms through which to give ourselves expression in this vast universe (and which may have been immeasurably less challenging) that we simply can’t let it go? Do we need to push against something to keep our momentum and, if so and we are evolving to where we are aiming to phase out our long-running “duality” and “lack” perspectives in order to heal this planet, what replaces these propellants as our fundamental drive to be here; over-and-above some wishy-washy idea that “everything will be nicer” and we will be “happy” and “at peace”?

How do we conjure up that potential future as something that genuinely motivates us towards it or that we know for sure that we actually want? Because, at the moment, its as though humanity is gripping onto a whole bundle of so-called negative motivations…such as addiction to stress, a belief in lack and an insistence upon “other”…like they are some sort of security blanket they don’t want to give back. As soon as one thing gets ironed out, we seem to go and create more of something else that is strikingly similar, so do we really want to break that trend enough for our most ideal future to appear through the mists; are we really any closer to achieving unity consciousness than we ever were?

This isn’t about to turn into an art blog but, as a useful metaphor, I see this love of chaos and endless problem-solving play out all the time in my occupation as an artist. As I’ve been making the transition from oil painting into almost total immersion in photography this year, I’ve been asking myself what it is about painting that drew me in for so long; in particular oil painting,  which is a very long and painstaking process leading to something that I often struggle to know when to declare “perfect” enough to call finished. I could give many and varied answers but the core one is this; when you paint in oils, you almost aways make a heinous mess to start with but then it dries and you can work on it in many layers, gradually honing it closer and closer towards some idea of perfection. In other words, the very act of oil painting is major “project-solving”…done with a paintbrush. In my previous career I did something similar involving people and logistics; I was a troubleshooter, a person who had to think on their feet to get an endless stream of high-profile, extremely time-sensitive and big budget projects out of some really tricky situations (whilst contending with unhappy or unrealistic clients and an almost farcical tendency for mishap to occur). As soon as one contract was finished it was straight on to the next one….and my painting habit first came up to replace that old work-stress rhythm while I contended with that other “big problem”; my health.

Now I see the same thing in my Photoshop editing only infinitely faster, slicker and with more predictable outcomes. Still all those layers to work with and many more tweaks to be made than most people would ever realise looking at the end product yet I can churn out half a dozen artworks in a day compared to one every 6 weeks and, still, the more those delicious messes require that make-over, the more blissed-out I feel. In fact, the excited “fizz” I get is in direct proportion to how hidden the raw potential is that I see buried  there when I first set to work. Some of the least promising photos deliver the very best and most satisfying art since I see something very subtle glinting at me through all the layers of crud; which then allows me to bring all my skill to bear in order to polish-up that terribly rough diamond. In fact, I don’t like the image to be pristine and “finished” straight from the camera; that’s boring and practically anybody could do it, why would I bother? And isn’t that what keeps us all (subconsciously) scouting for grey bumpy rocks instead of polished gemstones as our life experiences? This trait is something that underlies everything that motivates us as human beings, at the obvious and far more subtle levels.

I find it again when I ask my daughter why she cares so much about getting A grades when the occasional B might be more comfortable over this obsession with pushing herself so relentlessly hard. Her answer, that she “must” get that top grade, must fear anything else like her life depends on it. Why? Not for me or her teachers but because without that fear-factor she feels she would lose all motivation; her work ethic and drive to “do well” would be all gone and what she perceives as her identity along with them. What about just knowing, already, how whole you are, that you don’t need to rely on those outward tokens of achievement to know that you have worth? What about not being subservient to favourable circumstance (which can be withdrawn in a split second) to measure that worth? I try to ask her these, to get her to think broader, softer, less pressured or fearful but, no, she feels (for now…) that she needs that endless survival-scenario playing out to keep herself going forwards towards what she envisions for her future so, while that may evolve in time, I have to leave her to it. Of course the schooling system…the way we are all trained from birth to become predictably-controllable addicts to pressure…has a huge part to play but do we also do it to ourselves? I couldn’t have been a less pressuring parent and yet I have the most pressure-driven child I know!

But then, at three times her age and with all this insight to offer, am I really doing any better at evolving that perspective? Two weeks into this photography-thing (plus a pretty compulsive writing habit …three blogs, a new book, endless reading and research…) and I’m already working to a schedule that looks much like any high-pressure job with deadlines, long evenings and barely a free weekend since the start of the year. Why do I do this when I’m self-employed and no one is waiting for anything I produce; there are no actual deadlines or targets except mine? Because, at some level, I feel I have to have that momentum, that cog within cog drive…even if I have to create those gears with my mind and my well-maintained sense of “lack” (of income, of fulfilment, of recognition or achievement, of enlightenment…) to keep pushing myself along. There’s not been one single project that I’ve taken on during all the (many) years of working alone that I haven’t run as hard-nosed as this, for all the daydreams we all tend to have about self-employment meaning we can live the free and easy lifestyle of flexi-hours, popping out for lunch, mixing up work with pleasure; I never do that, even when the family are all at home and I’m generally up working before they even start their days. About the only thing that encourages me to pause that kind of pressure is jetting off on holiday and even then I’ve been known to dash off a few thousand words or bring back heaps of material that I’m already thinking about how to use before I get back. I guess I’m just one of those people – and there are many of us – who hate to switch off the pressure tap or feel like there’s nothing to be improved or striven for; its what gets me up in the morning and to turn it off feels like a mini death, a complete loss of life-force. Somehow, gentle walks, watching sunsets or appreciating bird song don’t feel like enough reason to be alive all by themselves, even though I appreciate them vastly more than I ever did. Its the endless striving and, yes, more than a little bit of swimming against the tide that make me feel most alive and connected to my own humanity.

So those mini-deaths, instead, are what my body produces, which has been the health journey of the last decade and even in that, where there’s always been one step back to every two steps forwards, I can see how this is just more of the same. I have even come to see (which was a very big thing to realise…) that my health issues have been a necessary “tug back” towards the sense of my own humanity that was starting to float away from me almost from the very start of this life, like I wasn’t even sure I wanted to be here or “fit in”. In other words, these physical ailments GROUNDED me when I might otherwise have vacated my life through a fundamental lack of desire to stay in a body. I was bailing out on my human state in so many ways and those physical challenges (as so often happens to people) dragged me very firmly back into the visceral matter of cell and bone.

Yes, when all else failed to engage me with my human condition and complacency, jadedness or a tendency to think myself off-planet set in, my health crisis tugged me firmly and non-negotiably down into my body so that I had but two options left…to leave altogether or to fight for my desire to be here in every moment, expressing that desire each and every day with my choices and the very attitudes I brought to every new climb up a hill. You’d have thought doing that for so long would have got me further than it has…and yet, though I have come VERY far on that journey, it has remained a journey nonetheless. That is, the end, though close, has never quite allowed me to pop those corks or do the happy jig of completion before something else turned up to challenge me. Whenever I’ve come close, and I’ve come very close indeed, a new health challenge has always presented itself; often more “serious” or unfathomable than the one before, like I’m surmounting ever tougher levels of survival in some sort of virtual reality game. Its been a long time since I first saw in this a metaphor for our human condition and the way that the more we fixate on some sort of utopian end-point, the more deeply we are forced to re-immerse in all the blisters and grime of the trek. In fact, one of the things it taught me was that I needed to stop wanting that outcome so very much…or even at all…in order to get anywhere with evolving the current state I felt “stuck” in. Inherent in that was the (necessary) recognition that I was already there, that what I already have is that very thing I was pursuing so hard, warts and all (and that my ideal was never meant to be “wartless” in the first place). The classic idea of perfection always seems somewhat, well, imperfect and I was in fundamental resistance to it.

So, working on that metaphor a little more, in my own experience I was forced to recognise that there’s a level – and I don’t at all mean at the conscious layer – where I kept creating more of this health “mess” so that there’s always something for me to “solve”or get my teeth into; like I don’t know how to be here, or ground my life-spark, in any other way. I’ve been forced to ask myself, is there a dread in me of that place where all health challenge is gone and what do I see when I visualise that endpoint? Its hard to make it out (so bland is it…) but it appears like something smooth and white cloaked in a mist, a velvet sheet of nothingness, quite devoid of texture, like a painting without brushmarks and so abstract as to almost not there at all. You could say, it is utterly serene in every way but is that appealing to the human in me? Are these rough patches, these ever bigger challenges to get my teeth into, my way of keeping things interesting and painting my most colourful and expressive “picture” of life, knowing all my biggest evolutions so far have always grown out of the soil of the last two dozen most nail-biting challenges? Is this what our cancers, our myriad chronic health conditions, our crashes, disasters and dramas are all about at some very fundamental level; the one where we have to admit that (along with our higher self) we ARE the co-writers of our own life script; WE put all these things into our own plot, to serve the higher storyline of our purpose for being human?

So, do we keep stepping this up, making the levels even more extreme as a sign of our mastery and how far we have come; our ever more greedy appetite for more and more and more to sink those teeth into; like my own step-up from very slow and painstaking “painting” to super-rapid and responsive “photo-editing” so that I get my creative fix a hundred times faster than before? Do we long for the next challenge, the bigger mess, so that we can step in and save ourselves at the eleventh hour over and over again, pulling ourselves off that razor’s edge brink of near disaster many many times in one lifetime? Is this what just happened in the our world political scene; we took the bigger challenge, something beefier to chew on because anything less than that felt too lame, like we had seen it all before? (Certainly, the many people who wanted something big to push against, “kick the ass” of or a major cause to join in with just became vastly more abundant in their heart’s desire since the start of this presidential administration…) Is what feels like our worst times really the best yet for the hard-core problem solvers of our world and will we get through it all….only to create even more mess from where that came from? And how do we motivate a world full of compulsive problem solvers to see the point in a utopian ending when everything gets fixed and there’s nothing left to “do”?

At least, while the “spiritual” solutions that are on the table look like vanilla compared to all the very broad “flavour of life” (from sickly sweet to rancidly bitter and everything in between) that we are used to, perhaps we will keep demanding the full buffet of experiences from one extreme to the other. Perhaps a fear of blandness keeps us from diving into some of the new alternatives that are being presented in our consciousness community; a bit like “clean” living and diets are utterly spurned by those who enjoy a quarter pounder and a mountain of fries. Anyone who has ever put themselves through an extreme eating regime knows how they long for that ice cream by the end and unless we really want that audaciously different way of living with everything we have, we’re going to remain in backtrack mode on perpetual loop. There’s got to be room for all of our most deliciously human traits on the New Earth or else how do we get everyone on board; this is all about being human, after all…not some other light-beings from a far distant planet (who are probably already doing that clean-living thing to absolute perfection). I’ve dedicated almost everything I have to my own spiritual awakening for the past six years and yet…many times…I just want to be the same frivolous, irreverent, fun-seeking, shamelessly flawed human being that I so often am without feeling I’ve lost my ticket aboard some sort of enlightenment cruise ship.

So, how to keep that flame of humanity alive with something substantial and juicy to burn on. Well, if problem solving and banging our heads on walls are so addictive then maybe we can channel that more into the kind of creation and problem-solving that would help uplift this planet. Perhaps (and, through photography, I’m just relearning this…) when we put our creative chaos into art, innovation and invention over self-destructiveness and fight-to-the-death mentality, we will find other means of provoking our life-spark into its fullest flame without getting singed in the process. I’m finding that getting my kicks out of an even more “one challenge finished…lets start all over again” process than I had before is allowing me to tilt the focus of my attention in such a way that daily physical challenges are called for less than they once were to ground my attention into my human condition. Instead of half a dozen physical challenges popping up to distract me from my tendency to drift off into other dimensions, I get to focus on the creative output of my very busy days, consisting of multiple applications of my time, each with its own set of challenges yet which can be started and completed to my satisfaction in relatively short time, producing tangible results from which I can gain a high degree of personal satisfaction. For someone as quick-minded and energetic as me, this is crucial to my wellbeing…in other words, if I don’t select the activity to focus my humanness on, my body will do it for me. By selecting the aim of my focus for myself, I have stepped in for the body and allowed its issues to consider decommissioning themselves in a way that I suspect will pay dividends in the longer run. I expect to see my body reflect this by creating a tangibly better outcome for me to experience very soon and we get to do likewise with our world.

t-987ech-um-dominik-scythe.jpgIn your own life, try recognising whatever “least desirable” form that challenge-setting trait is taking and then choose a similar but more uplifting focus for your attention. Make lists, if you like, of what your particular skills-set is (“I have this tendency to have these audacious projects for my career/relationships and then, just as they are coming together, pull the foundations right out of them until I’m staring at rubble again”) and find a lighter alternative (“I’d love to buy-up old properties to renovate and, just as they come together, sell them on so I can buy another one to sink my teeth into”…or whatever). The more you learn to identify creative and perhaps contributory ways you can apply your particular challenge-tackling skills, the more those least desirable expressions of them can quietly retreat or become obsolete in your life. Perhaps as more and more of us make this highly personal adjustment to where and how we are applying our particular life-skills (yes, these are important skills that the hardest times of our lives have trained us in so diligently), the more rapidly we evolve the whole planet as a side-effect. Which is as it should be, since our own lives are the most powerful transformation tool that we possess, which is why we should make them our core focus over-and-above joining in with what feel like other people’s big schemes, which should always be secondary to the self-evolution that is fuelled by our most personal arenas of enlightenment. As we individually discover the tail-lift of the spiral, we all start to spiral; this is how the universe was designed.

Its been interesting watching a spiritual teacher I follow have a small melt down and reconfiguration recently about the direction of his biggest project, which is to quite literally evolve the world in every way imaginable in under 20 years. His frustration: that people, even in his own team, weren’t committing enough, investing enough and, above all, were still back-peddling into their own human dramas or operating from a lack perspective. I can see how this would be frustrating but perhaps that’s what any golden-glorious vision of our future so far presented is missing; the infrastructure that ALLOWS that there is still  room for our most human traits without blacklisting them as flawed when perhaps they just need redirecting somewhat. Also, by its very nature, I can’t help thinking an audacious project like this is going to attract the kind of people who get most high on problem-solving (after all, no bigger problem than transforming the entire planet…), which you would think would be an ideal skill set to attract. However, if they are really that addicted to, and identified with, the deep-dive into the mire of multiple challenges, is it not also likely that they are going to keep self-sabotaging that project to create more of what they are really addicted to? Perhaps such people are the most likely of anybody to implode both their personal and professional lives, all at once, so that they can get that double addictive feeling of swimming relentlessly upstream against the current. I know…I’ve been there and (thanksfully) recovered from the trait.

I saw this play out in the “corporate” portion of my life more than anywhere; a team full of people dragging their woes into the office and offloading them to everyone else as they slurped the first of many cups of coffee…as though they loved that offload of hardships, the bitching and complaining, the snacks trolley and the feeling of relentless pressure in their lives all equally and in a bizarrely similar way. All that over-indulgence gave them even more reason to wallow in self-pity, or another load of addictive habits, at the weekends which restarted the cycle all over again and it was like a two-year anthropology study working there. Almost everyone in that vast office seemed to be fire-fighting for their lives.

So what happens when a project is much more uplifting in its intentions than the average corporate job and has everyone feeling engaged and lit-up together yet the hidden addiction to fire-fighting becomes much bigger than the shared objective of the group? How do we overcome the major hitch that occurs in our forward momentum when people are secretly getting-off on the feeling of resistance against all their efforts than their excited anticipation of achieving their goal and is that feeling of “wanting” something so very badly just the fuel for their endless cycles of addictive “conflict” with whatever seems to be preventing them from getting there. This scenario so-often plays out amongst people working for a cause yet where the goal itself becomes secondary to all the back-biting and politics that are really feeding those characters who are “fighting” for whatever it is; which is why I have always side-stepped these kinds of involvements and worked independently by preference.

The other big question is, what if people secretly dread or are a little bit afraid of that feeling of completion; in the way that just so many people who win the big lottery jackpot they always thought they wanted freak out and fritter it all away just to get back to their old lives? If it is even achievable (which I very much doubt since I feel we will just keep on evolving, ad infinitum…), is the idea of “completion” that some people try to sell us even appealing to us, really? I know I struggle with it…and, in my mind, its always followed up with “so, what’s next?” Even if we don’t really know what comes after some sort of goal is achieved, is it about time we started acknowledging that human nature requires that we suggest that there IS something interesting coming up next if we really want people to get onboard. People need to gain a wonderful sense of what lies up ahead beyond recovery  in order to recover and, especially when it comes to our projects to evolve the planet, we need something delicious and tempting, not just this very bland idea that makes it sound like we all get to wear togas and sit around all day dangling our hands in a pristine river on a harmonious clean earth with uplifting programs on “consciousness tv” to watch in the evenings. It can all tend to sound, well, a little bit vanilla and, as a marketing campaign for enticing vast numbers of “ordinary” people on board, it stands on fairly flimsy legs. I tried asking some people what they think of a New Earth with all the trimmings and they all declared they would “get bored”.

Of course, we all want different things on different days, according to different moods – which is part of being wonderfully human and we have to incorporate that into our vision. Part of this vacillation between forward momentum and then a sort of stalemate where the momentum chases its own tail again for a period of time is (I now recognise) a manifestation of the Ninth Wave, as discussed in a couple of my most recent posts (Consciously Creating with the Ninth Wave and Using the Ninth Wave to Heal Your Life). According to Prof. Calleman, author of the book The Nine Waves of Creation, evolution has always “come in” on the back of these waves emanating from a “cosmic tree” that pulsates energy at a frequency that has speeded up over time, one wave after another.  Whereas the peaks and troughs of the most currently active waves used to be spaced hundreds or even thousands of years apart, since the activation of the Ninth Wave in 2011 those peaks and trough are on a cycle of just 18+18 days made up of “night” and “day” phases. So perhaps as more and more people start to resonate with that wave, bringing themselves into full alignment, then more of them will start to see patterns in their own behaviour that feel like forward momentum followed by a sort of crash, self-sabotage or inwardly oriented period of rest – which is certainly something I can track in my own rhythms going back a few years. Looking back to when the 8th wave was the most active in my personal resonance (with its “days” and “night” of 360 days), I see how I got myself into a rhythm of one really forward-propelling year followed by one really slow, much more inwardly focussed or even back-tracking period. I coped best with the latter once I taught myself to paint, which distracted me from ruminating on all the things that were “going wrong” with me, especially my health. During the “day” phases I would vent my frustration with the “night” that had just passed by pushing myself way too hard, often to the detriment of my health.

I see now how the recent change of gear from the slower paced act of painting to super-rapid photo-editing reflects my attunement with the Ninth Wave since it takes me (on average) much longer than 18 days to complete a painting so…at some very subconscious level… it was no longer fitting with my rhythms over the last year and I was finding it frustrating. I would come out of a few days “inwardly creative” phase of working on a canvas that was not yet finished and yet my mood had changed and, by the time I returned to it a few days later, would feel like it was an obstruction because I was longing to move on to something else, having had all sorts of new epiphanies during the “day time” period that occurred in between. Computer-based art keeps up with how lightning-fast I feel I am now moving forward with new desires to express and, being more outwardly connecting with other people (so much more so than painting; I suddenly have a much more dynamic and younger audience), is more in tune with BOTH the “night” and “day” rhythms of the Ninth Wave, which is serving to melt away the hard partitions between those very different impulses. During the “daytime” periods, I am no longer shoving myself hard or forcing myself to create to the beat of a drum; even my writing is something that I allow to come to me as a natural flow, taking down occasional notes while I am otherwise working on my art. I strongly suggest it is this very act of dissolving the hard or even contradictory distinctions between “day” and “night” phases that serves as the forward momentum “gear” to our next level of evolution, achieved as we each find ways to harmonise and bridge those two distinct phases in our own lives.

So, instead of feeling on top of the world, forwardly propelling, having such dynamic and outwardly oriented conversations with all these wonderful teams of people with whom we are co-creating and so on for a few days and then crashing and burning all our own schemes or withdrawing to our cave to lick our wounds for the next few days, perhaps we will all learn how to work with this evolutionary wave… firstly, by nodding to its rhythms. We can work with it best by chosing the most appropriate tasks for the particular stage it is at (here’s a calculator you can use to check that; we are currently heading for the peak of a “day time” phase). In my case, during the “night” times I know I tend to go very deep into myself so I am starting to use that time to plant new seeds into the dark soil of my life…BUT without prodding or coercing or over-tending that new potential for the moment but, rather, allowing it to gain some quiet confidence within the anonymity and soft, nurturing cushion of the earth of my own introversion. Once the “day” phase gets started (bearing in mind the transition from one to the other can feel somewhat turbulent) I am more inclined to run with that project in a much more outwardly focussed way, sharing it with others, pushing myself quite hard in terms of what I set myself to achieve and being more outspoken, confident, social or even collaborative. Suddenly, life feels so much more productive, positive and forwardly propelling. I can sense some of my own goals clearing through the mists of a lifetime because I’m not always being tugged back by the ankle; and I’m genuinely excited for the future.

In order for some sort of shared goal to feel real, desirable and exciting, we have to make sure that what we envision for our collective future makes room for the very traits that underpin the extraordinarily complex human characteristics we’ve spent millions of years evolving. To demand that these change beyond recognition in the space of a lifetime is just more separation-mentality, like we all get to be shoved through some sort of highly selective filter system to get to the New Earth. One of the things I find myself worrying about most is a total lack of the kind of humour that my personality hinges on; I can be pretty irreverent at times and I’m not sure that would be “allowed” in the future some people are painting. Are people afraid conscious evolution means having to be just too  “nice” all the time, or are they asking where will we get our excitement, our white-knuckle moments, our naughty thrills? Again, I feel it comes down to evolving so that we still incorporate these experiences yet by choosing higher-vibe expressions of them, in a similar way to how I am funneling my problem-solving addiction into creativity instead of fixating on deep-dark or even life-threatening problems. I suspect the reality is that the more we go after the thrill of problem solving, the more problems will just keep on generating for us, as far as the eye can see, on the long long path unfurling ahead of us (that’s how powerful we are at manifesting what we want…) but I know I would rather see a pathway of interesting art-related conundrums up ahead of me than to have to tackle any more chronic health conditions like my life depended on it. So, we change focus somewhat to the side of what feels like our biggest stuck point….whilst allowing that humans LOVE to operate with some problems to deal with and even the occasional big juicy mess so lets not take all that away. Suddenly, by making this small adjustment, we all get to discover the highly individualised motivation that will move us forwards with our collective vision for this planet and we don’t have to write all the most interesting plotlines out of our future, we just get to stage them somewhat differently.

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Using the Nine Waves to heal your life

As you can probably tell by now, I’m quite enthusiastic about Dr. Calleman’s new book “The Nine Waves of Creation” and have been using this (oh, how I’ve been using it) to better understand my own life so I can, hopefully, help others to make sense of theirs. One of the ways I have approached this is to apply the nine wave structure to the pattern of my own health journey, which threw up the most startling amount of coherence that I really feel I have put to bed the last remnants of what still felt unreconciled, so reaching a brand new place of clarity and healing. Honestly, using this approach has tied up the whole of my experience so coherently that I feel clear and newly liberated to embark on the next portion of my life without any baggage, only precious gifts weighing down my pockets. How on earth? Well, that’s what I outlined in this week’s blog on Living Whole and it feels far too valuable to keep quiet about so I’m going to share the entire post in here too:

Source: There’s nothing wrong, its all just evolution!


 

There’s an incredible book that I recently finished reading and its been like a missing piece of the jigsaw for me. Its called “The Nine Waves of Creation” by Carl Johan Calleman, PhD and its an astonishingly audacious yet entirely coherent perspective on our human experience. I’ve reviewed it more broadly in my other blog (here’s that post) but what feels most important to share, in this space about health and personal wellbeing, is how relatable its quantum perspective is to the consideration of whether we are thriving (or not) in these particular times in our human history. The book has shed so much light on why I and others like myself may have struggled to thrive at a very fundamental level and that is so often played out through our health; and why we are now at a change point that offers us a remarkable advantage…if we choose to see it and work with it. In fact, I would go as far as saying that what I am about to share with you feels like the most important information topic I’ve ever written about here.

What’s the quantum-holographic perspective got to do with my health?

I talk a lot in these posts about the yin and the yang and how I regard the “sacred feminine” aspect to be a particular quality that was missing from the world and which has been trying to return in order to bring the planet back into balance. Without getting deeply into that here, since such ideas might sound too abstract in the context of health, Calleman’s book helps to bridge that gap in a way that is far more scientific and relatable for those who aren’t already seeing its significance in their own lives. Calleman has a PhD in physical biology from the University of Stockholm and is well respected in the scientific community, in addition to being a world expert on the Mayan Calendar. The way he handles this somewhat abstract concept, which he refers to in terms of the left and right hemispheres of the brain (and, indeed, the planet), is so compelling; also, supported by both conventional history and a huge amount of anecdote, to which I can now add mine.

He talks about evolution as something that “comes in” to our planet in very distinct waves omitted by a cosmic “tree of life”, which are downloaded by human beings all at once, as aspects of the global mind (you can imagine, somewhat like a computer receiving an upgraded version of a software package, which adds new features that simply weren’t there the day before). Suddenly the human mind is reassessing its world and finding features that it has never even noticed before, which alter their whole perception of reality since it is now seeing everything through a completely different filter. This profoundly affects everything going on for them, from what they think life is all about, what they feel capable of, what their priorities are, how they relate to each other and to the planet or the universe in general, and so on. These waves oscillate between “day” and “night” periods, reflecting peaks and valleys in their particular influence. That they do so is supported by correlations between “day” and “night” periods with with some of the most remarkable peaks and troughs in our human history; times when we took a huge evolutionary leap by started to innovate in a brand new way…or when certain behaviours, often whole cultures, went very suddenly and inexplicably into decline. These include moments such as the so-called instant flowering of brand new, incredibly coherent cultures that built pyramids (all around the world, all at the same time) which has long baffled historians, leading to some extremely unsatisfactory theories until I read Calleman’s book.

Without needing to go deeply into the history side of all this (I recommend you read the book), what is so key to know here is that we are living in remarkable times; an era when some of us get to experience not just one or two waves but even, sometimes, THREE in a single lifetime. This is because the frequency of the waves increases by a factor of 20 with each one (up to a total of nine according to Calleman) becoming faster and less spaced-out over time. Therefore, the Seventh Wave (which had been around for over two hundred years) only just went into its night period, the Eighth Wave got properly started in 1999 and the ninth wave came in on 9th March 2011. If you just loosely connect these dates with the timeline of your life, see if you can’t detect how your experience made needle jumps from one track to another at around these times; I know that mine did.

The Waves of Creation and chronic health conditions

What probably relates most to you, as a person interested in your own health and wellbeing, is that the Sixth and the Seventh Waves had very different preoccupations and outlook to the Eighth and the Ninth and both were active until very recently. So for those of us that are three or more decades old, our lives have ended up being the bridge that is attempting to make sense of these transitions. There are many more features to these interactions but, most importantly, the Sixth Wave set our process of civilization in motion; along with agriculture, cities, literacy, money, duality, war, monarchy and religion plus the Hologram of Good and Evil (something Calleman discusses at length), contributing to mental slavery, one of its themes. The Seventh Wave triggered the industrial (and political) revolution and made science the be-all-and-end-all of everything. Under its influence, we mostly gave up on the idea of god (except in so far as it could be used to control the masses), having taken a two-footed leap into the deep pool of empirical theory. We prioritised ownership, money and power, all very “yang” in their perspectives (in fact the “yin” hadn’t been around for the best part of 5000 years and women knew all about that since their experiences reflected this). If you’re my age, you are probably very familiar with the whole package of the Seventh Wave. It brought us some of our most memorable wars (as well as some of our milestone innovations) and our parents and grandparents, who were resoundingly “of” those times, likely saw the world through a very different filter to ours when we were growing up. This play-off is what saw the peace and love movement of the 1960s, which was the pre-wave of the Eighth Wave in reaction to the Seventh.

The Eighth was all the other way to the Seventh, like a hemispherical flip from one side to the other. It was a “yin” wave of increasing softness and a desire to communicate coming in (hence the birth of the internet), a return to some sort of spirituality (without the middleman) plus an echo of some of the qualities that had been “lost” at the end of the Fifth Wave (around 3000 BCE) when civilisation first got started. A great many people experience it as a recalibration or a correction of what has felt so “wrong” or out of balance about the world and we are still in this phase now since there was an awful lot to “put right”. So as the pre-wave of that era came in (all of the waves have a pre-wave), we experienced a subtle wave of softening arrive, and also its backlash (think some of the heavy politics and conflict of the 70s and 80s). Many people talk as though the sacred feminine has only just started returning – no, she’s been in the building for at least 30 or 40 years now and its been a hard transition, as some of us can bear witness to in our bodies and our direct experiences…

Then, just a handful of years into all that, we reached – according to Calleman – the grand finale that is the Ninth Wave, which is all about Unity Consciousness; bringing the perspectives of all the other waves together so that we have access to them all as we (individually and collectively) choose to work with them. This wave has no filters and so we get to see it all and to pick and choose our own particular “flavour” from the selection; you could say, living life as “the absolute” embodied as human, with the full range of options available. Like any other wave, the Ninth has its ups and downs or “days and nights” of influence but, unlike the lengthy peaks and troughs of other waves, these last a total of 18 days per “day” phase and 18 days per “night phase so we can often witness these remarkably swift yet variable patterns in our own lives, where our experiences may be playing out some sort of wild oscillation in our health or our general experiences.

So, what if there’s nothing wrong with us, its all just evolution?

The night periods are when the Ninth Wave has least influence, meaning flavours of previous waves might get to come in more strongly (if “chosen” to play with by those of us who still relate or fixate upon them). Thus we might experience what feel like inexplicable periods of backtracking or those moments when we are left wondering “WHY did that thing come up again, I thought I had dealt with all that ages ago”. These can be those terribly frustrating and demoralising relapses in our health, which is where understanding about (and tracking – you can do that HERE) the ups and downs of the Ninth Wave can be incredibly enlightening. In my life, they have often been the times when I do lots of “clearing and releasing”; taking opportunities to revisit, reexamine and do work with any “old stuff” that needs resolving. Some people (Matt Kahn is one of them) are talking about the fact we have now moved beyond the need to keep going backwards and clearing old stuff from the depths of our basement and I would say, yes, this is so just as soon as you want it to be so and feel you can resonate with the Ninth Wave perspective all of the time, without needing to revisit the shadow aspects of these other waves. Only you will know when you are ready for that but shining light on how these waves work and how they intersect with one another might be a helpful way to speed the process. You could say, the moment you are ready to live in this full-accessible reality is the moment that you heal!

First, you may want to understand why it is that you have been struggling so much to date and Calleman’s book might help you to make light work of what could otherwise have kept you going around in circles for a lot longer. The underlying principle of the kind of evolutionary impulse that Calleman is talking about here is that it is all about forward progression in a kind of spiralling motion, NOT going around in endless circles of repeat experience that we try to make sense of based on seasons, conventional astrology, the precession of the equinoxes, 26,000 year cosmic cycles or whatever we have grabbed on to as our modality for trying to observe patterns. When we are perpetually moving forwards, there ARE no repeat patterns. These waves speed up, they appear more and more often and the key part (when it comes to what have felt like some of the push and pulls of your life) is that they overlap, presenting you with choices….the upshot of which is the evolution of YOU as you get to choose what to align with. This puts you firmly in the driver’s seat and there ARE no predictors so you get to write the ending.

You can imagine what the play off of these very different waves may have looked like in your life to-date if you were already attuned to them as they started to overlap without knowing they were even there influencing you so strongly. This is certainly my experience, to a very large degree; and it was all evolutionary, which means I don’t regret a thing.

Have you always felt like a fish out of water?

If I can try to summarise what I suspect might be a shared theme of many of us that “came in” pre wired for the Eighth Wave, long before it “officially” arrived, then I think I might be able to shed some light on why so many of us have felt like fish out of water or like we don’t belong in our world. This is important here because, for so many people, this misfit quality underlies the kind of chronic health issues that I write about in my posts. Challenged health is a sure sign that a person doesn’t feel like they are thriving or “fitting in” to a paradigm of existence and when health challenges becomes systemic, that is, affecting nearly every aspect of a person’s biology, one factor after another or across so many planes of experience at once that it seems too bizarre (and hardly anyone is taking them seriously); almost like they are chasing a crazy rabbit around a field, this feels like there is something bigger and more evolutionary at play.

I have long considered my own health challenges to be a sign of “something going right” rather than “something going wrong” and have held on to the fact that I clearly signed up to be one of many forerunners of some sort of evolutionary leap that made the transition for me and those like me particularly hard, courageous and (by old paradigm terminology) inexplicable. The more doctors shake their heads at these kind of illnesses, the more I have felt like it is the doctors that are behind, not me, and that the science simply doesn’t exist to explain what I am going through. Things have softened up somewhat over the last decade and science is slowly getting more of a handle; perhaps, mostly, because it is starting to allow that it doesn’t have all of the answers. However it seems so obvious to me that the reason they don’t get further than that is that they still insist on being able to pin-down and box-up these illnesses along with all the other conditions they manufacture pills for but what if they aren’t even meant to nail this one down using those methods? What if all they will ever capture, for a few minutes, are some of the symptoms…before those move on to play hide-and-seek somewhere else? What if that is the very nature of the beast because it doesn’t WANT to be pinned down since it is trying to evolve us to a point where we cease this obsession with possessing and labelling and shape-sorting everything that we think we know? What doctors haven’t been seeing is that the very desire to pigeon hole everything in this way is a Seventh Wave perspective…and we are no longer under the day-time influence of that wave!

This is what makes fibromyalgia and others like it a new-wave condition, an evolutionary condition…born of the transition era that we are living through. For those of us that “have it” we are effecting a very important role as forerunners into a new way of thinking, not least by forcing doctors, family members and ourselves TO THINK OUTSIDE OF THE BOX. Through every challenge we take on and the new ways that we get to look at that challenge (getting a little more adept at opening our perspectives another mile or so every time we dive in) we are BEING the evolution of an entire species, throwing fuel on the bonfire of those old filtered perspectives and helping to birth a more holistic approach to medicine. We are forcing that meeting ground between left and right hemispheres because WE ARE IT in action!

What it feels like when you are tuned to a pre-wave before everyone else

For my own part, I had a remarkable epiphany on reading Calleman’s book and that was to understand that I arrived “pre-wired” for the Eighth Wave long before it was due thirty years later. Perhaps thats a theme for those who have struggled most/longest with their health? Calleman dates the pre-wave of the eighth wave as 1986 (although I gather, on talking to him, that he extends its influence back to the mid twentieth century in a previous book). Perhaps it was the fact that I was conceived in the “The Summer of Love”, the accidental pregnancy of an exuberant mother who was celebrating the fact my father had just got out of hospital, having survived a heart attack, but there was something about me that had me pre-wired for love, peace and lets all hang out together long before the world was ready for it, In fact I had almost no way of relating to the Seventh at all; I found it utterly abrasive from day one. I was pre-schooled at home, where I found nothing much to contradict my Eight Wave perspective so, when I was abruptly introduced to other people at the age of five, I was in for a terrible shock to my system. I suddenly met bitchiness and bullying, so much competition, bigoted perspectives, not to mention a cohort of middle-aged teachers whose mind-sets were emphatically pre-war in their stance. Suffice to say, I was a fish out of water immediately and it felt like someone had just torn off the top layer of my flesh…life HURT at every turn. My three siblings, with the same parents, same school yet born a decade earlier than me, seemed to have none of this challenge. Quite simply, I never really felt on the same wavelength as other people; not even to my own family but, now I was at school, the discrepancy was really stark and was only ever going to show up more as I matured; or until more people tuned in.

In the end, I kowtowed to some of the perspectives of the Seventh Wave just because I learned to be good at them (especially academically) as a necessary means to survival but every bit of it went against the grain. I can track the ups and distinct downs of my experiences to the 360-day periods of the alternating “days” and “nights” of the Eighth Wave as early as 1976 (probably earlier if I had more recollection). So there I was, trying to thrive with (and hide…) my peculiar Eighth Wave perspective in a world that felt cold in its Seventh Wave insistence upon exams and achievements, going after that big salary, possessing all that stuff that you were meant to enslave yourself to get…these were all the rubs of my next few years. My father, by the way, was an absolute product of the Seventh Wave, heavily peppered with the seasoning of the Sixth (he had been conditioned by a version of the hologram of “good and evil” dressed up as the religion stance that was invented expressly to dovetail with the industrial revolution, keeping the factory workers in line: hard-nosed Methodism, so it was all about work ethos and doing as you were told) so the challenge of trying to live-up to his expectations, then those husband I chose to continue that theme, played out for the first thirty years of my life. I would never thrive in that play-off, it was all just too contradictory to how I was fundamentally wired and yet I am now able to appreciate how I lined up this set of circumstances exactly so that I could engage with these earlier waves without having to be a product of them, as such.

When I looked back at the original post on Spinning the Light (May 2016) about the deeply-personal experience I refer to in the adjacent paragraph, it was startling to see how the several paintings by artist Hilma af Klint that I used to relate that experience correspond to the hologram of the Eighth Wave as visually depicted in The Nine Waves of Creation and also hint at the eight segmented global mind of Calleman’s earlier book The Global Mind and The Rise of Civilization. The “left hemisphere” appears to be depicted as having gone into shadow here, the right is distinctly lighter. My use of these images in that post make it clear to me that I was already tuned into the patterning of the waves and using them to “flip” my interpretation of that traumatic experience from 6th to 8th Wave perspective (also that Klint, who was mystic painting subjects that were far in advance of her time, was already tuning into the pre-wave of the Eighth Wave 100 years ago). This is how we reinterpret what might otherwise be traumatic experiences in order to use them for our highest evolution.

By the time the 1990s came along, which is when the majority of the world would have been starting to feel some sort of tickle from the Eighth Wave coming in, many of us early aligners were probably feeling several feet deep beneath the debris of our failed attempts to thrive as fish out of water for so many years; sound familiar? I’d had my own little flurry of feeling like I was (finally) getting into my Eighth Wave groove, as though life was getting softer and catching up with me where I was, but that was very quickly quashed. By the time the Spice Girls were singing about Girl Power, I was in recovery from having been raped the year before by someone I thought I knew and trusted and who (looking back) felt like an embodiment of the Sixth Wave come to drag me back into line by my hair, ramming me back into that terrible dark place hung all around with ideas of “good and evil” and suppressed femininity. Through the unfortunate events of one night, I was firmly put back in my place for even trying to thrive. By the way, when I told my ex-husband about what had happened to me, he closed ranks with the perpetrator; that is how strong the yang impulse of those earlier waves could be in the face of the eighth coming in, leaving those resonant with it feeling disempowered at their very core.

So that one single event – occurring at the exact half-way point of Calleman’s pre-wave of the Eighth (just when you would expect a backlash to occur…), has long played out like a bizarre metaphor in my evolutionary perspective (more on that in an earlier post here); as though an assertion of the yin was tipped back over into the yang and forced back into submission (temporarily), where it stayed licking its wounds for the next few years. That’s where I stayed, in my voluntary prison (a version of the kind of metal slavery that is so Sixth Wave), thinking I was now much too unworthy to expect any kind of fulfilment…until the next big breakout which came when my daughter was born in 1999; the exact point that the eight wave FINALLY came in.

Activation of the Ninth Wave – so what does that really mean for us?

So what happens when someone who has been waiting for the world to catch up with them for what feels like their whole life gets to experience that long-awaited day; do they party and shout “about time” at the top of their voice while dancing with all the people that are finally arriving at the door. No, when they have struggled and clawed and bled and exhausted themselves to get to that very moment, they collapse.

True to form, my health collapse got underway almost immediately the Eighth Wave came in, shortly after my daughter was born and, by 2001 I was already showing major signs. Four years later, I was a mess and it was as though I had to rebuild myself from the ground up from that point. Its that classic thing; like when someone has been under a huge amount of pressure at work and then they get to go on the long awaited holiday but catch the flu. This was flu with knobs on and it has taken me all the years in between to get to where I am now in my recovery.

The thing is, the arrival of a more feminine impulse was only ever going to be the stepping stone to something else and that is a point that so many people are still missing. To think we can replace an overly male-oriented world with an overly female-oriented world and everything will all be all right in an instance is a misunderstanding of the grandest order. Like when the very first signs of the pre-wave of the Eighth came in, during the Joan Collins years of the ‘80s, its very easy for people to tip over to the other extreme and make yin the new yang, like it’s the very same thing in a skirt and, in many ways, feminism has become more yang than yang itself. I noticed this straightaway, even as a young girl listening to my father mutter abuse at Toyah and Janet Street Porter on our TV set, and so I sat back almost too demoralised to watch the most aggressive feminist machinations play out over the 70s, 80s, 90s and beyond; wouldn’t even use that name for myself until the He For She campaign gave it some sort of spring clean.The Eighth Wave is also hardwired for inequality; merely dressed up in the new garbs of “economy” rather than social structure and I never felt more at a disadvantage than during those years of economic floundering compared to those who were figuring out how to play the new global, “dot-com”, game. No, the arrival of the eighth was no holy grail for me and many others and, at some level – where my health seemed to sit out most of the first decade of this century – I knew it was just an interim phase and was really just waiting for the Ninth Wave (or, the Big One) to arrive.

When it happened, I sure as anything felt it like the earth suddenly moved, although I hardly knew what it was at the time. As I have already described in my other review of The Nine Waves of Creation, there I was feeling lousy as ever, going for my regular therapies but otherwise doing very little in my daily routine when…suddenly, out of nowhere…I had this most compulsive urge to write a blog. By that point, I had become about as introverted as I could possibly be; about the only people I had seen in the last five years were my husband and our kids plus my physical therapist and a handful of random people when I was out walking my dog. I had never had so little desire to speak to anyone and I kept myself feeling safe by hiding away from the world. Then, one day in March 2011, I opened a WordPress account and called myself “Chasing the Light: (later changed, twice, to where it is now “Spinning the Light”; more about spirals later) and pressed “publish” on my first post on March 11th. This was so out of character that I was utterly UTTERLY shocked at myself. I remember feeling nauseous after that and every subsequent post, for months (though they were on pretty tame topics to start with), like back in my schooldays when I was forced to read out loud…but at some level I knew I HAD to and there was an excitement to it that I couldn’t explain.

All of a sudden I had all this material pouring out of me hinting at the possibility of seeing myself as already whole, healing across multi-dimensions, appreciating all the hidden gifts in our most traumatic experiences, ending the sense of separation from the divine and all about love, unity, oneness and THRIVING. I started to feel like I could see the WHOLE picture of everything clearly, like all the scales had suddenly fallen off my eyes. Then I started to meditate and I considered the idea of something divine existing beyond my human experience, which is something I had been in neutral about all my life until that point. People could SEE The difference in me; they started asking “wow, what happened to you?” from the look on my face. Where had all this come from? At the time, I had no idea. But according to Calleman, the Ninth Wave was activated on 9th March 2011 and was ALL about unity consciousness.

Within a few weeks of that, I had my very weird (to me, as I was then) experience on a London tube train; the one I have long referred to as a direct experience of unity consciousness (see my other post for more on that) and nothing was ever the same again. This was where I stopped regarding my health issues as a problem or myself as a victim and this is where I started to gain traction in my recovery and was – IMPORTANTLY – when I started to be able to conceive of ways that I could try and help others to head this route by helping them to make sense of their own experiences in ways that the old paradigm wasn’t offering. The writing urge that birthed in me on the day that wave arrived has been my primary instrument for doing that ever since.

So, how do I use this in my life and, especially, my healing process?

As more and more people start to oscillate to the more rapid day and night rhythms of the Eight or Ninth waves (depending on where they are at), we forerunners are the ones that hold steady during the Ninth’s night-time periods; not needing to plunge deeply or unconsciously into the flavour of our darkest history to replay what we can now leave behind. From my own experience, when the Ninth Wave “night” phase goes through its moves (9 days up and 9 down in the “day” phase, then 9 days descent and back up again in the “night” phase) each of these portions can have particular characteristics, in my experience.  Personally, I find the transition from “day” into “night” and even the “peaks” as well as the “troughs” often coincide with health challenges but especially during the “night” phase. In particular, there can be a tendency to play out aspects of what was so difficult about the transition periods between other, earlier, waves as the “night” periods comes online (when the Ninth Wave pulls back its influence). Many times, I have taken a deep-dive into what feel like cellular memories around “historic” themes, sometimes outside of the scope of this embodiment, during and especially around the middle of the “night” phase of the pattern, like I am remembering other lifetimes. I have had a great many echoes of the transition from the Fifth to the Sixth wave (around 3100 BCE) play out through my direct experience and I think a lot of people, women especially, are tuning into that same echo right now; you can see it in the support groups that pivot on the returning sacred feminine aspect, such as Sophie Bashford offers. For instance, these deep dives can bring up a lot of pain and blame, also elements of being in resistance to anything that symbolises the very forceful “civilizing” impulse that put-paid to our most direct and synergistic connection to Gaia and also to the divine when that severance from the feminine aspect originally happened. People can get all-nostalgic about something they think they remember from those original times and so angry about the intervening years; together, this can become pack behaviour, another indignant gang of people to join forces with (very Fifth Wave!) yet its utterly self-defeating to get into that mode. The thing is, not all aspects of civilization are as bad as we sometimes paint them; most of us would be lost without them now so there can be so much internal conflict bound up in a healing process that seeks to take us all the way back to those original experiences as though those times were “better” than now (and I imagine they were far less than ideal). The evolutionary impulse is not to go backwards; that was never in the design. What we are being called to remember during these deep-dive moments is that we get to choose which aspects of which waves we develop resonance with by placing our focus where we truly feel most aligned NOW, regardless of what other people around us are relating to. We don’t need to hold back our own evolution, out of false loyalty to a romanticised era that ended 5000 or 2000 or however many years ago, when we can take the very best features of that era and bring those forwards into our present day experience right HERE, along with the best parts of all the other waves we have access to. Now, that’s evolution!

The vast new opportunity awaiting us, when we pick and choose what to bring back from our night dives, is the gift of understanding that one wave no longer has to be at the expense of another and that we get to create a world that uses the very best elements of all these perspectives in ONE. We don’t have to get all tribal about it (that’s just more of the Fifth Wave) and we don’t have to get all religious (Sixth) or even prove our reasoning to anybody (Seventh). It doesn’t have to be at the expense of anyone either (Eighth) since its not all about getting Likes on Facebook or being a big economic success; this kind of thriving goes beyond all that. Finally, we get to be that ultimate creator of our own bliss in human form; but the trick is to follow what is best for us, in alignment with our highest blueprint (in other words, what feels good in the body; and this is when our particular skillset really comes into its own since we know how to listen to our bodies better than most people; perhaps we can show others how). We really don’t need to spend too long, or any time at all, deep diving into the past unless doing so meets those criteria. I’m getting quite adept at only taking those plunges for my own enjoyment, not for anything heavier and – I can tell you – it feels so much better. Once we realise we have full access to everything we need HERE, that what we most need will just come to us without having to seek it, we can stop going back to pick up all those pieces we left scattered behind in other frequencies. We were always meant to scatter them there, like a counterpoise to where we have now evolved to; but really, THIS is where its all at, where its expansive and WHOLE.

For those who are already attuned (and we will all be very soon), this new wave has our back and will allow us to thrive since we are already well-versed in its core preoccupation, which is unity consciousness at all levels of our experience, from the personal (hence the name of my blog – “Living Whole”) to the global. Like we are seeing on the political front, there is always a backlash as a new wave comes in….and WE have been seeing it play out in our health….but only for as long as it takes for us to get on board with the new impulse and ride that wave in the the most intentional, divinely inspired way possible, which is what knowing about these waves and how to work with them offers (I strongly recommend reading the book). The political arena can take care of itself but YOU have complete say-so over how YOU regard your own body and, as soon as you start seeing it as whole, as evolved, as road-ready for the new era, then that can start BEING your reality from this day on. No more ideas of broken or sick, its time to spiral onwards now; evolution will take care of the rest.

Related posts:

Consciously Creating With the Ninth Wave

Are we addicted to problem solving?

Going quantum

 

Posted in Books, Consciousness & evolution, Divine feminine, divine masculine, Health & wellbeing, History, Life journey, Menu, Personal Development, Recovery chronic illness, Remembering | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Consciously creating with the Ninth Wave

29767582How do you adequately convey to people “I consider this book to be extraordinarily important” without saying so in terms that are either too general or personal? In fact I consider it to be one of the most significant things I have ever read and not just from an academic point of view (though it is certainly that) but because it so closely validates and makes sense all of my own most bizarre, often most inexplicable or even (in some cases) irreconcilable experiences in a way that stands it apart from other paradigm-rewriting theories that are emerging. It is no exaggeration to describe it as the missing jigsaw piece to everything that I already knew or suspected (and had been noticing the patterns of for most of my life) and yet struggled to articulate or make fullest use of. In fact, the timing of the book’s release, at the end of 2016, feels like no coincidence since I believe we were always meant to reach this breakthrough level of conscious understanding at this most precise point in our evolution. This gift awaits for all the many other people who have yet to find and so benefit from Calleman’s extraordinary work and I hope my enthusiastic review will help them to find it!

As a passionate historian for much of my earlier life, I suddenly found myself (since 2011) compelled to dilute, question or disregard much of the learned history I thought I “knew”, in parallel with what has been the most astonishing period of personal-evolution and of “waking up” to a much bigger sense of what human existence is all about. What Calleman deals with in this book, imparting a fresh new over-view of human evolution, is consistent and coherent with everything that I have come to intuit over those recent years whilst stepping it up to another practical level for my logical mind to make use of.

In particular, he validates the growing intuition that I have suggesting that evolution occurs in very distinct waves that, in effect, download brand new holograms of understanding “all at once” at certain key times in our history. One of those transitions, occurring around 5000 years ago, has gradually emerged through my direct experience (in a way that Calleman’s theory about “waves” helps to explain) like a memory arising from my own cellular databank, played out through the convoluted circumstances of my life and the patterns of my health. The more I have opened up to this “new” approach to our shared history (it underpins my very deep fascination with the “lost” sacred feminine aspect and its sudden reemergence in very recent years), the more I have discovered that many of the answers I have long sought were within me (and everyone else) all along; as though coded into our very DNA, playing out as the current patterns of our health, our preoccupations and our ability (or not…) to thrive. We ARE the sum total of these waves and we are in a most unique position to merge them most beautifully…as ourselves.

Not only that but many of the patterns of these incoming waves “arriving” during my generation match (most closely and significantly) with the most significant milestones of my life. These include a very sudden change to how I was living, thinking, relating to others or to a sense of “the absolute”; all of which altered – most abruptly – at the very beginning of March 2011. In fact the date corresponds with the creation of my very first blog; a quite uncharacteristic venture into writing publicly (now a full-time occupation) since I was an extreme introvert who struggled to do anything outside of my comfort zone; and so I have often wondered what provoked such a dramatic change in my perspective after which nothing was ever quite the same again. It was as though I felt, quite suddenly, compelled to speak a truth about unity consciousness that was emerging in me so rapidly and inexplicably that I hardly knew where it was coming from and this has motivated all of my work ever since. This turnabout in my preoccupations, according to Calleman, occurred exactly when the Ninth Wave (a wave that is everything to do with unity consciousness) “came in” and I know that I certainly felt it arrive!

Moreover, that I was attuned to the Eighth Wave (its predecessor; you could say the wave that brought the feminine aspect or “yin” back into the out-of-balance reality of our world) from very early childhood became more apparent the deeper I got into this book, with my personal light-bulbs flashing iridescent at every turn (I don’t know when I have ever made so many personal notes whilst reading a book). Having shared the book with others in my circle, I am already hearing about synchronicities galore and I know this is a book that will speak to so many of our generation since we are the ones who are experiencing a time of not one or two but sometimes THREE different waves transitioning over the course of one lifetime whilst still dealing with the undercurrent of all the earlier ones. The gift of understanding this is that we get to fully appreciate the profound opportunities that await us now, personally and globally, as some of those earlier waves go into their period of least influence (their “night” period); hence the book’s extreme timeliness. We can already see the Ninth Wave playing out; its backlash clearly observable in our current politics – which is fascinating and so much less alarming to witness from the perspective that Calleman offers. Understanding the cosmic patterns that underlie world events means that we are far better placed to work with the incoming wave in ways that guarantee an outcome that will serve us all best, manifesting a world that is based upon an awareness that we are not separate at all.

So many others reading the book may find in it their own patterns of “not relating” to the world as it has been until now and of feeling they were already miles ahead of their own times, attuned to some other paradigm of existence which felt softer, more adaptable, loving and in balance than our old familiar reality. The good news is that the Ninth Wave is here now and that more and more of us are already in resonance with it so, when we get to know its patterns (and Calleman offers tools for assessing this), we can better establish whether the projects we put our energy into are aligned with its impulse, thus consciously welcoming it in, helping to make it manifest rather than circling around in the worn out patterns of an old hologram that we are rapidly growing out of. In this context, the book goes far beyond serving as “just” another interesting and validating new perspective upon the conundrums of our past and becomes, additionally, a handbook to navigating our way through our best and most transformative lives – both individually and en masse – during what promises to be the most daunting and yet potential-filled era of our evolution so far.

 


Experiencing the Ninth Wave

The above is the formal review that I have given to “The Nine Waves of Creation” on Goodreads and Amazon and yet I feel, in the context of the preoccupying material of this blog (to which this book is so relevant) that I want to add just a few more words.

Calleman’s theory matches and adds coherence to all of the deeply personal processing that I have done (the subject of my blogging for nigh on six years) in ways that are, at once, startling and compelling. In fact, as described, I was startled to learn that the Ninth Wave was activated on March 9th 2011 (two days before this blog was started on a completely knee-jerk impulse that I have never been able to adequately explain). Prior to that, the extreme introvert that I am had prevented me from doing anything so public, in fact writing to anyone outside my most trusted felt so raw and vulnerable and yet here I was opening a WordPress account and sharing my deep and innermosts with the world. Where did that impulse come from? Shortly afterwards, as I have described many times before, I had the milestone experience – one which I have always referred to in my writing as a direct experience of unity consciousness – which happened to me on a tube train in London and felt like my solar plexus lit up and spilled over the sides of whatever had been previously been holding me in so tightly (my visual was of a gold egg cracking open), lighting me up with the most unforgettable experience of unconditional love. It was a dazzling experience that altered my whole paradigm of existence in just a few moments – a kind of rebirth that turned a new light on inside of me. From then on, I started meditating, exploring the divine (not something I ever admitted to being interested in before) and, for the first time, began to gain forward traction in my health recovery using intuition and a holistic approach.

The correlations in my earlier life are also very startling, with the rhythms and key events following the 360 day pattern of the Eighth Wave over more than two decades of pre-wave, long before it was fully activated in  1999 (also a personal milestone year of vastly altered lifestyle and outlook). Currently, with the help of the Ninth Wave Calculator recommended by Calleman in his book (the Ninth oscillates at the considerably more rapid rate of 9 days up, 9 down during the “day” time periods before, as it were, swooping into the “night” time periods – a total of 18 + 18 days), I am able to back-sift through diaries and blogs to notice how my health dips and “darker” (earlier wave related) “inner work” have been lining up beautifully with the “night” periods of the Ninth Wave, and my somewhat more exhilarated, creative peaks with its days, for at least the last three to four years, showing me just how much in resonance I already am with what came in after 2011. I was so excited to find such degree of resonance at very personal levels (and visually too; since I have always been able to “see” time in the most visceral way that looks a lot like Calleman’s diagrams in the book) that I have been in contact with the author who was also startled at the degree of correlation between my experiences and his. In fact, I find I am able to make far better sense of events and relationships stretching back across the whole of my life, noticing how certain characters in my “story” were so strongly aligned with earlier waves that the way circumstances played off between us can be understood best as part of this evolutionary impulse that we are all co-creators of. Now we have access to all nine waves, we are each working out – through the choices, inner guidance system and external frictions of our lives – which waves we resonate with most and where we want to be heading; and, as we navigate thus, we help to steer the evolution of a whole planet.

This will all make so much more sense to you – and may become something you can observe the patterns of in your own life –  if you read this remarkable book, the gifts of which are still unfolding in my life. I am now back-reading Calleman’s other books, starting with “The Global Mind and the Rise of Civilization” (which is so closely related to my long-running preoccupation with yin and yang and the division/reunion of the human brain’s two hemispheres). Thus I expect to be referencing these various books in future posts and would love to hear from anyone else who can relate to them.


Since writing the above, I have been working with the Nine Waves in an extremely deep and practical way and have had some extraordinary results. For more on this, see my related post Using the Nine Waves to Heal Your Life.

About the author – biography of Carl Johan Calleman, PhD on Goodreads:

Carl Calleman earned his Ph.D. in Physical Biology from the University of Stockholm, where he was mentored by a Nobel Committee member.
In addition to being a Senior Environmental Researcher at The University of Washington, Seattle, he has served as a cancer expert for the World Health Organization. His articles have been quoted over 1500 times.
Calleman is recognized as the main proponent of the idea that the Mayan calendar reflects the evolution of consciousness. His three previous books on the subject include The Purposeful Universe (Inner Traditions, 2009), The Mayan Calendar and the Transformation of Consciousness (Inner Traditions, 2004), and Solving the Great Mystery of our Time (Garev, 2001).

 

Other related post – Are we addicted to problem solving?

Posted in Books, Consciousness & evolution, Cosmic events, Divine feminine, divine masculine, Life journey, Menu, Personal Development | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

When trees talk

img_1305There was one tree that my dog simply wasn’t going to let me go past yesterday. He ran off and just stood there by its side, refusing to come back, absolutely insisting I go out of my way to say “hello” to it. Well, I often stop to talk to my favourites  – typically oaks -and he knows the routine of stopping by them, yet I’d never been over to this one before in all my years of walking there so this was his choice, his unknown reasoning. When I got up close, I was surprised by the fact that its comically distorted outline, made up of knotty old burls like an old man’s nose, was sprouted all over with buds and new shoots; in fact the whole thing was alive with vivid new growth against the earthy backdrop of January’s colours.

There was an undeniable metaphor in this gnarly old lime or “linden” tree with its so-called deformities, an ugly tree you might even say; in spite of which every square inch of it was bursting with new life. Burls (of which this tree had several) are odd-shaped bulbous growths, often caused by illness or stress; though they are highly prized by artisans for the intricate beauty of their grain. This tree seemed to assert that, IMG_1296.jpgout of the most unlikely, distorted and tired-seeming old structures, some of the freshest new shoots often sprout. It’s as though all these shiny and bright new growths, asserting all the promise of regeneration, are super-propelled to come out through (and perhaps because of) the unappealing old structure that held them in potential; as though it is the thick-skinned distortion through which they have had to assert themselves that reinvigorated the organism’s fundamental ambition to thrive. From deep inside, all these tender new growths summons up all the necessary courage to show themselves en masse, in spite of the inclement season, and so the whole organism is renewed in exact proportion to what looked most unpromising with the eyes; as is often Nature’s way.

IMG_1302.jpgAs I leant against its trunk, feeling so grateful for the reminder, I suddenly noticed I was standing in the centre of a star. On every single side of me, well-worn animal tracks led to where I was standing; making it the apparent focal point of the whole acre of parkland during the subtler hours, though you would never guess it in the so-called reality of the stark light of day. These were paths I had crossed so many times on my walks yet, though I had seen them, I had merely stepped over them, never noticing their astonishing coherence before. Clearly one very powerful, wise and magnetic tree with something timely and important to remind me, my seeing all this anew made me wonder how much else we will start to notice about a new and more optimistic perspective that is ready to bud to the surface of our reality out of what looks like the least promising and distorted old growths of our past. The hidden beauty of a world ready to turn inside out would amaze us with what led out from the heart so perhaps we are ready to turn the wood of ourselves in our own hands and be amazed to witness our undeniable human intricacies… utterly transformed for all time.


Burl wood has been valued for hundreds of years; so much so that such trees are sometimes the target of thieves. It is the contorted, disfigured quality (measured by outwardly focussed aesthetics) that make this product of its inner growth so very beautiful as a turned piece of wood in the hands of an artisan.

Stress or illness (the tree’s metabolism hijacked by virus, fungus, or bacterium) makes for this distortion in the tree’s DNA; not unlike chronic illness in a human being or, you could equally say, a messed-up political system and yet, as I have celebrated many times, so much beauty comes out of these distortions, when looked at a whole different way, as the catalysts to brand new growth. Perhaps such trees are, in their way, the hardiest and most likely to regenerate when circumstances seem most dire, being used to such a paradigm and the need to adapt, pick up and keep going. Such a tree still functions in the same way as all the other trees and, in the long-term, so much beauty comes from them that they are the jewel in the crown of the craftsman; the most likely of any tree to be turned into objects that are treasured beyond the measure of all seasons or changes in the direction of the wind.

The linden tree is subject to so much folklore; a holy tree with a plethora of associations and ancient connotations (a dive into Google will tell you more than I possibly could; this is just the very-much abbreviated version on Wikipedia). There is also a herbal tea made from its flowers (one I have in my cupboard and feel this might be a reminder to drink); a natural way to calm the nervous system and full of antioxidants and quercetin, fantastic for alleviating allergies and supporting through illness. All those very qualities it stands as symbol to it imparts through its flowers; just as we all impart through the flower of our best creations the values we stand for, come what may.

 

Benefits of Linden Flower Tea – Livestrong

 

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Here comes the yin…

screen-shot-2017-01-15-at-22-03-22When the charts reveal a very dramatic red-and-orange week of space weather up ahead, I usually know about it before its even happened but this time it wasn’t just me. A message from a friend in Germany asked, was I feeling this one more than usual; answer, most certainly, yes! Not just me but my whole family had been showing the signs.

In my case, I felt like I was what I call “flatlining” from about 5pm on Saturday all through Sunday. This means I had next to zero energy, tingles coursing through my face and body, couldn’t even get dressed or walk the dog and found even climbing the stairs utterly exhausting. Any loud noise, loud smell, hullabaloo – too much for my senses! I lost all interest in food or doing any of my usual things and just kept feeling like I wanted to close my eyes and sleep…only, as a parent, I couldn’t so I kept going as best I could, for hours…weakly, like my batteries were almost drained.Then I curled up into a ball on the sofa and was “gone” for two or three of hours and could have surrendered for longer if there weren’t things I had to do. While I was “in there” I was mostly conscious and yet not; like a half-place between life and death, I could think but I couldn’t seem to move my leaden body, even my heart seemed to be beating more faintly by the minute. It began to feel malevolent, like I might just slip away, so I reached for something I havent taken for a long time, D-ribose. As this most useable thus direct form of sugar hit my system, it felt like I was emerging from the depths and spluttering my first proper breath at the surface yet, for the rest of the day, I was still on seriously low battery, bearly functioning. By the following day, my body was in so much pain like the old days in my recovery. When the message came from my friend 600 miles away, it was almost a relief to know “its not just me then”, even though I’ve been here before.

Other typical themes of a yin wave coming in are a loss of the ability to think logically and of life-purpose in the rational terms that we are accustomed to use to measure and define this. My daughter – usually a wiz at maths – bewailed that she couldn’t do her homework, couldn’t seem to use her brain in the usual predictable way and my husband, who was having dizzy spells, got into a tailspin contemplating the point of his life and all the things he felt he hadn’t achieved in his career (all very lighthearted stuff for a sunday afternoon).  Even my dog didn’t raise his from his bed until forced to go for a walk at 4 in the afternoon. Then we all lost our appetite or any interest in sitting down for a scheduled meal (hunger, wanting more, is an extremely yang compunction) plus I was too weak to cook like I normally would at the weekends. When this kind of energy comes in, its like I’m forced to deep-dive into a living meditation; to pull back from the details and succumb to the current that wants to come and claim me so I ducked out of any ritual, conversation or drama and found myself going very quiet and “inner”, trusting all was well if I went with it. These waves are here to defibrillate us back into balance, to shock wave us into noticing that we have been all one way for too long…so they can seem to pull us very far on our piece of conventional elastic until we feel like we have nothing left of our old-structured life; all that is left is to dive into the fluidity and surrender utterly to the softness.

yin_yang-svgWhy does a solar flare constitute the arrival of more “yin” energy on the planet? Because when the sun provokes in such a direct way, the earth responds by rising up to its energy; those Kp-index charts we can track on the tesis and other spaceweather websites show the magnetic pulses that come from beneath our feet in response. This is Gaia talking and she rises up like an answering call to her counterpart the sun so that we..in the middle…get to rebalance ourselves, to recalibrate in ways that are evolutionary for our species. These times are often when our personal or planetary imbalances become most stark; the volcanoes and seismic shifts, the anger releases, the political upsurges, the cancers, the breakdowns of structure in ways that seem shocking…these are the yin element imploding the yang “hardness” from within; breaking out from where she has been hiding very quietly, minding her manners, deep inside the structure of “yang” (think the white dot in the black half of the yin-yang symbol). When this happens, it is an evolution opportunity, the universal safety valve working on behalf of our planetary and personal equilibrium…and can be enhanced all the more when we acknowledge what is transpiring and work with it. This brings the opportunity for great healing, powerful world-altering recalibration and the closer harmony with nature that will enable us to thrive like never before, though the events that come up may seem terrible through purely human eyes. Instead of fighting this recalibration, we are being invited to work with the wave coming in.

So how do we meet this invitation in order to work with it? By softening, allowing flux, malleability, adaptability. By letting go of some hard structures, definitions, rigidity, timetables, demands, traditions and fixed ways of doing things, constructs we have outgrown. By selecting the more creative, fluid and uplifting tasks to focus upon; the kind that thrive in this softer energy, which can deliver staggering amounts of inspiration if we are open to receive it. By not getting caught up in stereotypes of what it means when you feel like ordinary life is imploding or like you are suddenly walking through treacle; this state of extreme overwhelm will only last as long as it needs to to get you looking at things a different way than through all those “old” definitions of what constitutes good and bad.

So we cope better by allowing these deep inner dives, regardless of time of day, other commitments or whether it feels “appropriate”. Matt Kahn (True Divine Nature) often talks about this kind of upgrade-energy; how he might be at the food store when he feels it coming and just has to drop everything and leave since he knows he has about half an hour to get home so he can surrender to the need to zone-out in a safe place. When it happens like this, its non-negotiable; I’ve spent at least the last 6 years doing exactly this whenever one of these waves comes in yet how many people can imagine living life this way, cancelling meetings with “sorry, I have to go, I’m receiving an upgrade”? The reality is, it might become increasingly necessary..for all of us…to at least acknowledge that there are times we are being asked to stop everything and just “be” because this is what it will take to put the brakes on a planet that has such a run-away feeling to its downwards momentum. The universal impulse is to thrive and we are all being dragged – whether voluntarily or kicking and screaming – towards enhanced consciousness so, when the mind resists, the body will often take over and insist we stop what we’re doing. We also cope better by keeping out of other people’s slip-streams, their dramas, their business and concerns; this is a time when we are forced to focus on the self, without the customary avoidance of all those inner domains that we don’t like to look (such as areas where we aren’t loving ourselves nearly enough…).Then, by trusting instinct and divine guidance, choosing to go direct to source (not through some sort of a middle-person, whether religion, teacher or other so-called authority) we start to receive the kind of information that really serves us most powerfully and perfectly in the navigation of our life.

During all this, we fuel all this rapid-fire evolution (not by ignoring the demands of the body but) by grazing; eating little and often, keeping nutritious food and plenty of water to hand to provide easy-energy and replenishment to the cells. Also, by getting out into nature, into a natural light source and by gently moving the body in ways that it can cope with, without force. The intensity will pass, we will feel suddenly uplifted – like after a flu or as though our entire system has been re-wired or upgraded – and life will go on, if somewhat more balanced than before. Looking back, we might notice we made sudden leaps in understanding or personal evolution during, or as a direct result of, those times we felt so supposedly “crashed”.

In short, these spaceweather events that feel like they come up through our biological system like a kundalini flame-thrower are the yin energy, mobilised. She’s coming in and she’s doing it so that even those who don’t normally choose to hear her can’t miss her arrival. This means that those of us who are already attuned, who are already well into the process, feel it most strongly, almost unbearably, like we will dissolve away through lack of the yang energy that gives us substance and makes us feel well in our bodies or our daily routines. Because, yes, we all need our yang…in balance with our yin and this is just one of those times when the universe has conspired to tilt the table to allow them both to meet in the middle somewhat more equally than before; so we all get to feel that tilt but hang on there, no need to fall off…its evolutionary , its desirable, it’s what we all signed up for. There’s a song I found myself humming to myself, tongue in cheek, this morning: “Here comes the yin, do-be-do-dah, here comes the yin…and I say, its alright!” Because it really is a song and a dance, a recalibration (neither asserting at the expense of the other), that’s happening and here’s envisioning that, pretty soon, we’ll start seeing smiles returning to all of our faces as we start to enjoy a whole new balance.


the-nine-waves-of-creation-9781591432777_lgIs the wave I keep talking about in these posts “real”, is it scientific, you might ask? Well, I’m just finishing reading a game-changing book by Dr. Carl Johan Calleman – “The Nine Waves of Creation” (this link includes an excerpt) – and am utterly blown away by it since it confirms everything I ever intuited about such evolutionary waves, including their timing. According to Calleman, our planet has been subjected to nine distinct waves of evolution at the quantum-hollographic level, the final of which was activated on March 9, 2011, the day I (suddenly, very unexpectedly) signed up for my WordPress account prior to publishing my first-ever blog post two days later! This uncharacteristic leap into the unknown struck me as bizarre even at the time since I had always kept my thoughts extremely private before this sudden urge to share all with the world and – 6 years on (with three blogs to my name and writing on these topics now a primary focus of my days) – I know this mode of expression is a vehicles of the Ninth Wave that I have chosen to drive forwards in a way that I could never have anticipated prior to 2011. No less have I been driving that same project forwards through the recalibration of my health (from where it once felt utterly fragmented along the lines of themes that Calleman plays with in his book…), which has been a true yin-and-yang journey towards realising a new level of wholeness.

So, what’s yours –  what are the projects that you have underway (probably started within the last five years) that are softening the hard-old realities of the world and bringing more unity consciousness into being? Because the Ninth is all about unity consciousness –  bringing back together the long-time dominant yang energy that has dominated our history and the yin aspect that started returning as a distinct wave from 1999 onwards (as we can see through the trend towards technology and social media plus the turn of world events since that time, to which recent politics are simply the backlash). It is bringing these two impulses harmoniously TOGETHER into a completion point that marks the upgrade of this planet into a whole new way of being; which has been a prevailing theme of my blog for some time. The synchronicity of many key milestones of my life with the stages that Calleman discusses are much too frequent and startling to ignore and I strongly recommend this book to anyone else who wants to delve into their own resonance with this incoming wave and ways that we can all contribute to making its arrival more conscious, easy and powerful to the benefit of the entire world. In fact, this book has very swiftly become one of the most significant I’ve ever read, transforming what I already sensed to “be so” into something that I feel far better equipped to navigate and understand.

Posted in Books, Consciousness & evolution, Divine feminine, divine masculine, Menu, Personal Development, Recovery chronic illness, Space weather | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Intact

It was a really intense night, one of those where you don’t feel like you’re sleeping all that deeply but then you keep taking deep dives; some of the deepest ever. One of my dreams, about the only one I could recall, was that I ‘d just been burgled; someone had been in my house and taken some important things and I was beside myself checking them off against some sort of inventory that wouldn’t come into focus to my eyes. They hadn’t ransacked the place, they’d come in kind-of stealthily and plucked what felt like such important things yet how could I check off what was missing when I wasnt even sure myself; like I hadn’t even noticed what I had until it was taken away. There was so much frustration to the dream; did I care about this stuff or didn’t I?

The day before had been so mammoth; a giant epiphany, perhaps the biggest of twelve years of trying to recover my health. I’d had a huge breakthrough in self-diagnosis via the incredible Anthony William, the Medical Medium and all of a sudden my scattered jigsaw was fitting together without gaps. In the wholeness of the picture, I find the promise of completion and yet…just for now…I’m treading softly, knowing there is much more recovery process to be done and that, in this moment, I need to honour the part of me that is in mourning on receiving the full understanding of all I have been through to date. Something had just been made solid which, whilst unlabeled, felt dreamlike and could be denied…by me and even by others; everything felt different somehow in its aftermath.

When I woke up from my second deep sleep, I felt done…so done and weary with it all, having so recently audited all I had been through with William’s help. Hearing all those complex and unravelling symptoms of my last decade, their seriousness, laid out like that in a list…that had been sobering, awe-striking, it could have buckled my knees if I had known what I was getting into at the time. The thing is, I didn’t; I had been cushioned in confusion for years but now…now I knew I needed that clarity, those edges, to lever me out into the light once and for all. In fact, I’d stood on a hilltop and declared my need for understanding and resolution to the skies less than a week ago; and now my answer had come boomeranging back…as this.

Knowing something can have such a powerful impact on the cells of the body…for positive or no; and I can feel my cells coming to terms with what they have just learned, can sense them reformatting and shifting a little confusedly where they meet, like a vast crowd of people, used to feeling their way in the dark, whose whole paradigm of reality just altered because the lights were switched on. I’m holding space for them to interpret what they know positively and calmly; am taking things gently and very mindfully today.

So what if what I have been through for years is its own version of my close friend’s determination to take what otherwise labels-up as a stage 3 cancer and dissolve away its definition, its expectations, to make it softer and infinitely more treatable? A big and growing part of me is becoming amazed at how much more INTACT I feel than I would have believed I could have been if you had told me all this was going to happen to me at its very beginning. If I’d been sat down by a doctor and given its name and its prognosis, its tidal wave would have hit me full on like a tsunami; instead, I find I’ve been surfing it with such surprising grace, like the perfect wave!

l61smgu3y7w-jeremy-bishopBecause I have had no label to give to what was going on with my health for so very long, I was able to swallow its bigness and swim through it even when I was bone-weary; drawing on a reserve of courage I never knew I had and never losing myself to expectations hung around its symptoms and what they supposedly meant. I went at it like a child, using my innate abilities, or as if I was the lone inhabitant of an island with no doctors to ask (since I had long since stopped asking) yet maybe this is what kept me going with such remarkable fortitude that people still sometimes fail to notice that there’s anything challenging me; in my real life, though I write about it, I don’t wear it around my neck. Its very-often the expectation of a certain outcome that “get us” in the end, as I’ve talked about many times before…and I had been forced to surrender all expectations but one; that I was always “whole” no matter what, never mind whatever else happened to me, and would take my life moment to moment, always searching for the gifts.

So I can let the frustrating dream of last night go since I notice how it really doesn’t matter what I think I may have lost or “had taken from me” in the “house” of a body that looks so intact that no one would ever believe its been burgled; perhaps that’s its saving grace since I still have a house to live in. If I can’t remember what those things were then none of them were important and I find myself standing here holding so very much more in this moment than I had at the start. As I see it, perhaps those things I used to have weren’t taken away but given so that I could make room for all the gifts that continue to flow into my life, day after day after day.


Read more about my milestone health breakthrough on Living Your Whole Life – Shingles without the rash?

Related posts – Allowing life to be soft & Surfing the wave

For your own personal health breakthrough, I heartily recommend Anthony William’s website www.medicalmedium.com. In William I find the embodiment of all that my talks about left and right approaches to health recovery (and life) would have expected to happen next. We have relied completely upon an empirical approach to health for just so long, then using diagnosis to tell us what to expect, thus placing a hard shell around what we consider to be posible whilst exluding (to our detriment) all that we can’t yet know through our rational minds. William quantum leaps us to a  place of having access to information about health that we don’t have the empirical support for…yet…but which is providing startling answers to some of chronic health’s most resilient conundrums; a reminder that right-brained intuition has an equal part to play in all we think we know about our human reality, connecting many of the dots that our logical minds overlook. This, I believe, is where health (and science in general) need to head to rebalance our reality and jump-start us out of some of our most stuck places.

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