Could 5G hasten our extinction?

Very little of the (real) news about 5G makes happy reading but if there’s one piece of information that I can’t seem to shake out of my head, its that it could be devastating to all the bees that are so crucial to life on earth; also to birds, who play a far more important part in the matrix of life on this planet  than most people yet realise, not least as pollinators. If these two species get “scrambled” or wiped out, I don’t give our chances of survival much time; possibly under a five years, due to the cascade of “problems” this would unleash and yet the science is very credible. It makes such logical sense to me and, again, I’m plagued by my own non-compute that this isn’t making headline news.

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Dr Ulrike Warne “Bees, Birds and Mankind: Destroying Nature by ‘Electrosmog’” (all other highlighted quotes, unless stated, are also from this source).

We are all electrical beings; we all know that now, right? The body is a landscape of unfathomed electrical communication methods beneath the surface of our cells (and which scientists still have no real clue about) engaging in the most minute and quite instantaneous dialogues between synapses and enzymes, blood, sweat and glands. When we bring powerful, dominant frequencies into our environment we often rue the day, suddenly and with no easy explanations yet, such as in cases regarding the use of Tetra communication devices that “suddenly” cause cancers or suicidal depression in individuals “for no other reason” (see this paper by physicist G J Hyland, University of Warwick and the International Institute of Biophysics Neuss-Holzheim, Germany). Again, these stories don’t make headline news and are often ideas which are quickly scoffed at by those who are made uncomfortable by them or with other interests to promote.

Screenshot 2019-05-24 at 09.30.52Which is much the same as how most people default to scoffing at, and make-fun of, those of us that are hypersensitive to wifi or mobile phone technology, as I am well accustomed to. I read an excellent article “5G: The Unreported Global Threat” by Devra Lee Davis, PhD MPH President of Environmental Health Trust ehtrust.org and Visiting Professor of Medicine at The Hebrew University Hadassah Medical School. The only comment, before mine, was from someone who asked “where is the canary in the coalmine?” to which I responded “I’m here, and there are countless thousands of others…” Only, here’s the things, we who have adverse symptoms as a result of manmade electromagnetic interference are weary of arguing our corner in a world that doensn’t want to hear our party-pooping thoughts and, besides (strangely enough) many of us can’t use social media due to severe health issues when in proximity to communication devices, shutting down our most likely conversation channel (the ultimate irony and a shot in the foot for us all of those most effected if 5G turns out to be as detrimental to health as it could be).

In my case, I continue to use my computer because I’m a writer/artist and can’t stop myself from needing to express, being my only satisfaction left in a world that is becoming increasingly difficult to take part in, but it comes at a cost. I have to use technology via a series of fixed wired connections all around my house (never the bedroom and always switched off at night) and, if you want to phone me, you’ll have to use a landline which has a wired phone at its end. I’m also a recluse by most people’s standards and I have to measure my time spent on technology like some people have to count their drinks; one strike is OK, two can be two much and a binge tips me over. So, I’m a dinosaur and yet I keep on trucking…many people like me have given up or gone off grid, though there are pockets of people in places like Sweden, where electrohypersensitivity is recognised as “functional impairement” and so they get some social support and can get their homes “sanitised for EMFs” as I have had to do for myself here in the UK. They have a right to special measures from their employers and there are certain rooms available to them in hospitals, so I read from Olle Johansson who is Associate Professor, Karolinska Institute Department of Neuroscience Experimental Allergy Unit in Stockholm.

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Prof. Dr. Karl Hecht, Dr. med. Markus Kern, Prof. Dr. Karl Richter, Dr. med. Hans-Christoph Scheiner – Introduction to “Bees, Birds and Mankind”

Humans are just the tip of this iceberg, although I know all too well from my own health how these “minute” influences from man-manipulated frequencies are bigger than invisible elephants in my electro-compromised world. In the average day “out there”, I can walk through an unseen security system at the entrance to a shop and feel as though my legs are suddenly buckling, my tongue tingles and registers a “metallic”  response from being in a car on the highway surrounded by all the telecoms, my head registers pain and pulling sensations and I hear frequencies all the time but more often around electropolluted areas, my skin burns when someone near me has a mobile phone in their bag

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Can we say goodbye to the astonishing beauty of a murmuration where “large flocks of starlings in an area of an estimated 500 m2 or more, packed with birds, can perform complex flying manoeuvres within 5 milliseconds”? As with every living creature, from sharks to microbes, starlings use the relatively predictable electromagnetic environment that we share, which is the product of billions of year’s natural evolution together, to communicate with each other, navigate and more that we don’t even know about yet. Interesting that starlings were the casualties of the recent 5G test in the Hague, a story that has been labelled “conspiracy theory” and scoffed away, as they always are by the information bullies…

or I break a fiery sweat from standing under a certain monitor that I otherwise wouldn’t have noticed…this is the degree of my sensitivity. Perhaps that’s why I’ve developed such an affinity with bees and especially birds, preferring to be out in nature, with its “other” (gentler) range of vibrations, emitting from living things. Yes, if I must feel vibrations, let me feel theirs; in fact, being around them recalibrates me after the onslaught of modern life. More “logically”, I put this love of the smaller creatures of nature down to the fact I’ve been invalided, now, by my intolerance of modern tech, for just so long that these are some of my closest friends; I spend my days engaging with the bees and the birds that I’ve attracted to my garden and, without them, I would see hardly another soul from one day to the next.

 

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Prof. Dr. Karl Hecht, Dr. med. Markus Kern, Prof. Dr. Karl Richter, Dr. med. Hans-Christoph Scheiner – “Bees, Birds and Mankind”

So, perhaps my long-running meditation in their company has helped me develop this affinity but I just “know” that messing with frequencies on a blanket scale would be quite devastating for them, in ways that would start-off the domino effect that we could never put right again. With that intuition pressing down upon me so hard that I wasn’t sleeping any more, or was having dreams about some sort of ecodisaster with winged-things falling to ground, I went off in search of clues.

 

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Translated by an Australian news source from the Dutch newspaper that reported the incident: “A 5G test was done, in relation to Dutch railway station Hollands Spoor… to view the range of the mast and see if any adverse equipment damage would occur on and around the station. Immediately afterwards, the birds fell in numbers dead from the trees. What is going on here? This is a horror scenario, when these two facts are causally related to each other — which means that bird death is caused by the 5G masts. Because we are on the verge of rolling out the national 5G network”. “In the following days, in The Hague, in the Huygenspark, a stone’s throw from the Hoefkade .. Dead birds, with dozens on the ground .. As if we’re watching the thriller ‘The Birds’ by Alfred Hitchcock.” The birds were taken to a laboratory, noted to be healthy in every way and scientists have yet to return a verdict. Go to article for more accounts relating to herds of cows and fire crew near 5G test equipment.

It took me a very short time to come across worrying trends (see also my links at the bottom), such as accounts about 5G trials in the Netherlands, where hundreds of birds fell from the sky last year “for no apparent reason” when they switched the 5G antennas on for a test (never making broadsheet headlines, the story has been sidelined almost as though it was an April fool’s joke).

Not long after that, I came across a piece of incredibly coherent science from Dr Ulrike Warnke who has sent the last few decades researching the effect of frequency on living organisms, in this case bees and birds. I found his report Bees, Birds and Mankind: Destroying Nature by ‘Electrosmog’ just compelling, knowing it held water, because the third sub-heading he writes about, being the likely effect of this manmade radiation-generating technology on humans, for once matched all my own best theories formulated over several years of being forced to study myself as the lab of my own experience (since nobody else had any answers for me…) See below for more on this.

 

Studying myself in such detail has been no easy thing for me to do, not being a biologist or a doctor but, to date, Dr Warnke’s compilation of theories is the closest thing to an explanation of the systemic breakdown of functions that seems to have happened to my health, for all my efforts to resist and repair, using good food, exercise, nature’s medicine and positive thoughts. For all that, I feel like I am constantly on a tread mill whereby, if I lapse in my efforts for just a moment, the whole cascade of health issues becomes overwhelming again. Because, when you’re being messed around with by frequency, you are against one hell of a formidable (invisible) assailant and my only friend has been that I can, at least some of the time, avoid wifi and mobile phones in order to pull out all the stops and repair myself again (as I am having to do this week…having experienced a “collapse” following two weeks “out there” in hotels, airports and restaurants).

One of the most pernicious side-effects of whatever is going on is that I struggle to get enough antioxidants into my diet to balance-out all the free-radicals that seem to self-generate in some sort of snowball effect; for all I seem to spend fortunes on best quality fruit, veg and supplements. In a future world where this became a common health issue yet without bees, as Wanke’s report suggests we could be on the verge of, the absence of fruit and other antioxidant sources would be a major problem to an increasingly sickly population since I only cope by consuming more organic produce in a week than some people put on the side of their plates in a month. Above all, by taking these frequent pitstops from “normal” exposed life, I keep myself alive and I keep on moving forwards, as cheerfully as I can muster, in the stop-start health of someone who has had to become resigned to the fact the world I could have lived healthily in has been, at least partially, taken away from me (though it seems it may be about to disappear forever).

Time out to recover…that’s what people like me (hypersensitive is the term, until many more of us get it…) rely on, or perhaps the ability to pull out of the circus altogether; as has long been my pipe dream, planning to go somewhere without neighbours and far from a city once my husband can give up work. Which, in its own way, is a tragedy since I am a social person but have had to resign myself to the most introverted of lives. However, the all-consuming nightmare of 5G has removed that possibility which, in part, is the culprit of the existential-level crisis that has taken me over. That and…back to the real subject here…the bees and the birds.

Screenshot 2019-05-24 at 09.27.21.pngSo, if bees and birds were to be made disoriented, sickly or extinct, how would that look; can you even imagine a world without the exquisite beauty of birdsong that (I believe) lifts human morale and influences health even when we are too busy to notice it)? Maybe you could and are prepared to just shrug at that prospect, though I can’t imagine such a person would bother to read this post…

 

But without bees…well, the http---cospowerlines.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com-wp-content-uploads-2017-05-bees-einsteinscience to do with what would happen if there were no bees is compelling; they say up to 70% of our crops would fail but I suspect the chain reactions affecting other parts of the food supply would be far more detrimental than that since other plants, insect and animal “chains” would flounder or stop, triggering widespread disease and decay of the ecosystem like watching a fast-spreading blight take over a vegetable plot. Our varied and colourful world would quickly cease to be and we would be scraping over barren earth in no time; let them 5G the hell out of that. Though we’d probably find those behind it all have some sort of space-age refuge to run to and the leave the rest of us to rot…

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The same scientist that is quoted left (Ruzika) put out a survey to other beekeepers via an academic magazine. Out of all those who confirmed that a transmitter had recently been put near their hives, 65% confirmed that they had colonies “inexplicably collapsing”. Similar cases, “heralded by ‘angry’ swarming of the bees, were also reported in New Zealand (FIRSTEN- BERG, 2007)” Other eco-threats are making bees ill, as has been widely reported but, the thing is, no bees were found unwell in these particular cases (they were just otherwise healthy carcasses…much like the starlings above, and like the otherwise inexplicable suicides of healthy teenagers that live near multiple mobile masts on university campuses). Its the same as the increasing numbers of people (me included) worldwide who are being found to be chronically “unwell” but not by all that many “typical”, measurable parameters because one of the things in common is the invisibility of any kind of explainable cause. This is very often the case when the cause is an electromagnetic one…and yet the symptoms are very real and observable, life-altering and severe, as in my case. Of course, this inability to show “how” gives the ticket to telecoms companies and governments (using outdated thermal indicators and traditionally measurable symptoms as their only benchmarks) to plough ahead with their schemes while the ability to thrive of billions of lifeforms flounders in full view.

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The many ways in which bees, birds and other lifeforms use our electromagnetic environment is as complex to the layperson as it is fascinating and I refer you to the full report by Dr Warnke if you want to explore this, which I recommend. The fact remains that there can be no disputing that electromagnetic “information” is a crucial to these Screenshot 2019-05-24 at 11.09.47species as it is, as yet, a mystery; we are sticking our fists into a pot containing a stew full of delicately interelated seasonings and not only stirring it around with our actions; we are mashing the whole recipe to a pulp through our ignorance, arrogance and impatient foolhardiness. Many of those involved in these areas of study are paid by the very people whose interests lie elsewhere…

Very few other human beings can be bothered to go deeply into this niche domain; my interest stems from the necessity to get to know the electromagnetic environment because of health issues that (it became so apparent to me) had everything to do with it. So, you could say, I was spurred-on by a basic survival urge…and now we all have to be spurred on by that very same incentive. We either have to get to know all the minute details of our electromagnetic environment, like our very lives depend on it, or we have to get the hell out of its business; there is no half-way measure. Man’s (long-running, deeply flawed) compunction to “own”and “control” the planet can go nowhere now since we cannot own or control what we fail to understand; and we will only kill it in the attempt.

Screenshot 2019-05-24 at 11.33.38As stated above, the explanation presented (the “effective mechanism”) given by Dr Warnke as to why humans also react so adversely to manmade electromagnetic interferfence spoke “truth” to me given I am someone who shares those very issues, which led my investigations to science that looks a lot like what follows. This can be summarised as “The disruption of the nitrogen monoxide (NO) system” though “there are probably other effective mechanisms as well.”

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I mentioned also that my health issues feel like a constant battle against free radicals; however much I work hard to eat the best possible diet and lead a healthy lifestyle. “Human blood cells exposed to mobile radio in standby mode show increased quantities of free radicals, resulting in lipid peroxidation (MOUSTA- FA et al. 2001)”, which I have been aware of for some time, from many sources. Many other Screenshot 2019-05-24 at 11.54.34studies pointing to this are included in Menke’s report. This leads to at least one damaging outcome: “The NADH oxidase enzyme exhibits a high – and quite reproducible – sensitivity for magnetic and electromagnetic fields of mobile phones (FRIEDMAN et al. 2007).” NASA (2006) already knew it was sensitive to gravitation but newer science has brought up that “The NOX family [of oxidases, where NADH is found] is also responsible for a large range of pathological processes, especially neurodegeneration and heart diseases (BEDARD et al. 2007)”. As with most things “Over-stimulation is a threat. It is analogous to a drug or medicine: Dosed correctly, the substance can be beneficial; but overdosing can be poisonous. This is exactly what happens with permanent exposure to magnetic and electromagnetic fields”.

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“It is a fact that the NADH oxidase enzyme also produces the superoxide anion (02-°) free radical” and then “also stimulates the formation of toxic hydrogen peroxide (H202), which also in- creases NO production by up to 100% (LI et al. 2002). These two additional NO stimulants explain the above mentioned increased NO production under the influence of magnetic fields and electromagnetic radiated fields – also through mobile radio communication.” If exposed long enough (AKDAG et al. 2007), the NO system breaks down, due to a self-regulating factor designed to switch it off if it is overproducing; however “even if the NO now appears to be regulated, the damaging effects…remain intact” and this is when the pathological effects start to show themselves….all of which are very familiar to me (see above-left and the list of symptoms below). Lactate acidosis, (a-typical) hypoglycaemia, chronic fatigue, inability to recuperate energy, inflammation, restlessness and panic “disorders”, sleep issues, fibromyalgia, chronic nerve pain and MS type symptoms…and more…are all familiar symptoms and areas of study for me: so say hello to my cell mates, I’ve been trying to get to know these uncomfortable bedfellows for a decade now, getting more bewildering every year.

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Catalogue of symptoms and diseases (excerpt), derived from the known effective mechanisms of nitrosati- ve/oxidative stress

Of course, I am para-quoting sections of the report here, to tie in with with I had already learned about the probable cause of my unrelenting health issues and those of others with “mystery” illnesses like me; and I strongly suggest reading the full paper for yourself.On the subject of free radicals, it is so interesting to me to read that in the case of birds, not only do they use the presence of nano-particles of magnetite in their heads (a well-known phenomenon, also found in 

the abdomen of bees) for orientation; they also “receive complementary information on the direction of orientation via the free radical levels. Using these data, they are able to know at each stage of their flight what their instantaneous location is with reference to their biological magnetic field (WILTSCHKO et al. 2005) map”. My own ability to sense electromagnetic location (mostly in the form of a distinct physical “reaction” when I relocate) has only increased and become more fine-tuned as I have become more sensitive to these particular health issues; as though I am pre-warned to move on by my sensitivities via sensations that I know all too well but struggle to describe; abbreviated to the oft-use phrase “I feel toxic” around cellular communication equipment. It intrigues me to consider that birds and bees use this early-warning system too; but I also know what it feels like when there are nothing but alarms coming from your body, all the time…

Here lies just the very doorway of a whole new domain of human understanding when it comes to our innate and long-forgotten abilities relating to electromagnetic sensitivity as guidance system, communication device and information source (which should be the very sweetie-store for those scientists who get to explore this burgeoning field of information). And yet we are about to put the breaks on all such innate skills by making the environment we live in wholly manmade; replacing the innate communication devices we already have and are yet to fully explore with a grossly limited manmade telecoms system devised using yesterday’s science parameters.

We could do this no more effectively if we were to put a glass dome over our heads and seal all the exists forever, turning on the air con and settling down to watch a repeated diet of man-manipulated holograms of what life “is” according to those who write the software; since this is what 5G will do. The whole fantastical, beautiful, complex and above all LIVING and EVOLVING thing that nature is will be extinct…or, more likely, we will be ejected as a threat to all the other species. We should all know by now, Nature has a way of always having the final say; we won’t be the first species to get coughed up as a phlegmy nuisance to the whole. Honestly, I sometimes wonder if we are even worth protecting as a species, we are such a mess-up…

Screenshot 2019-05-24 at 13.48.33This 5G project, as it stands, is all folly and I believe that if you scrape through the layers of yourself, beyond the hype, the commercialism, the desire to be like everyone else, to be “cool”, to not be a luddite, to believe that all science and innovation is fundamentally good…etc….you will find that, not so very deep inside of yourself, you also know this is all folly and that your instincts are throwing up misgivings the size of rocks. The  way this half-baked science is being rushed out into the world, without a real clue what it is or can do, to quote one of the promotional videos I saw this week, is so suspicious that its an obvious indicator that “somebody” is up to something. Either they are so blinded by dollar signs that they have lost all reason or they’re trying to get away with a backstory so unimaginable that most of us won’t let our minds bring it to the surface, like when Hitler ushered people onto cattle trains before people’s very eyes. That’s because they probably are and its a trauma to the human mind to have to accept that not all intentions are good ones (which then paralysis us in the sudden need to recalibrate our core belief systems about the world; but we have no time to just stand here like deer caught in the headlights). They are relying on the greasy slide of human gullibility and desire to allow this to happen before anyone realises the giant pitfalls, and then it will be too late, no going back and a whole arena of dependencies created for the corporate world as we not only require medicines by the bucketload but foods that will have to be manufactured out of plastic ingredients to tide us over until we mostly wither back into the soil of a rapidly dying planet (though I’m sure “they” will all be a-OK, along with just enough people kept alive to be some sort of server class). ”

“The biological system expresses itself just as the environment does and unity and coordination with its environment is its guiding principle.” So, should we happen to survive, we will become this tech; no more or less than an extension of its programming objective. Thus, all independence will be lost once this technology exists; we won’t even be able to think for ourselves (or know if we ever are) since the capacity for mood and, yes, mind manipulation using frequency is a well-explored area from trials with crowd control. There will be no running away from it or its influence over the very person that we are…

So we’re standing at a junction, the scales haven’t (quite) tipped yet, although it astonishes me how close we are getting to this edge before anyone with enough sway to alter the trajectory wakes up. Scientists, yes, have clamoured to add their names to petitions but what use is a petition…I’m become disillusioned about such things since “they” merely flick them away like flies; meanwhile, having signed this petition or that, we become lazy about actually doing anything. The willpower to stop this has to be much bigger, has to be at the grassroots, has to be proactive, has to have the masses behind it and that means finding an antidote to the brain-altering drug called “I want”, which is the very thing that this whole mobile technology nightmare launched onto the market like never before in the early part of the millennia. Never in human history has the “I want” monster been more powerful, drip-fed as it is by the very instruments that they want so very badly; everyone “must” get the new iPhone or whatever it is, so that you get the impression they would sell a grandparent if they had to, perhaps even a limb.

The public are hungry for their technology “fix” and demand feeding on time…but they, presumably, want to be alive too. What they need is to be reassured that this kind of technology will happen…better than ever…just not this way. This route is the stupid route and, only once we get it out of the picture will new innovators emerge ready to devise the true tech of the future; one which makes room for life.

This is what we are dealing with…and its daunting…and yet I never underestimate the power of human positivity when the conversation is blown open by those courageous enough to speak truth and when driven by the right intentions, you could say a higher frequency than even “they” can generate but which has nothing to do with manipulation or machines.  Please now, I urge everybody, from all walks of life, join the conversation…we all have to, before it’s too late.


 

References

Screenshot 2019-05-24 at 08.22.41.pngAll quotes inserted above, unless stated, are taken from Bees, Birds and Mankind: Destroying Nature by ‘Electrosmog’ by Dr Ulrike Warnke. The report is part of a brochure series on the effects of wireless communication technologies by the Competence Initiative for the Protection of Humanity, Environment and Democracy, published by Prof. Dr. med. Karl Hecht, Dr. med. Markus Kern, Prof. Dr. phil. Karl Richter, and Dr. med. Hans-Christoph Scheiner with an Advisory Board as follows: Prof. Dr. rer. nat. Klaus Buchner, Prof. Dr. med. Rainer Frentzel-Beyme Dr. rer. nat. Lebrecht von Klitzing Prof. Dr. phil. Jochen Schmidt, Prof. Dr. jur. Erich Schöndorf, Dr. rer. nat. Ulrich Warnke, Prof. Dr. med. Guido Zimmer.

The main research areas of Dr. Warnke, an internationally renowned bioscientist at Saarland University, include biomedicine, environmental medicine, and biophysics. For decades his research interest centred especially on the effects of electromagnetic fields.

 

Additional reading

What would happen if bees went extinct? – BBC Future, “As far as important species go, they are top of the list. They are critical pollinators: they pollinate 70 of the around 100 crop species that feed 90% of the world. Honey bees are responsible for $30 billion a year in crops. That’s only the start. We may lose all the plants that bees pollinate, all of the animals that eat those plants and so on up the food chain. Which means a world without bees could struggle to sustain the global human population of 7 billion.”

For the First Time, Bees Declared Endangered in the U.S. – National Geographic

Why bees are so important – Sustain

Why birds matter and are worth protecting – National Geographic

Why do we need to take care of our birds – European Commission. “According to the latest scientific studies, 43% of Europe’s bird species are threatened or facing serious declines and therefore not in a good conservation status.”

Bees, Butterflies And Wildlife: Research On Electromagnetic Fields And The Environment: Electromagnetic fields from powerlines, cell phones, cell towers and wireless impacts the birds, bees, wildlife and our environment – Environmental Health Trust

Non-thermal Effects of Microwave Radiation on Birds – Nature “Non-thermal effects are manifested as changes in cellular metabolism caused by both resonance absorption and induced EMFs and, when neural structures are involved, are often accompanied by a specific behavioural response. An important difference between thermal and non-thermal effects is in the matter of time scale. Chickens exposed to a “slightly thermal” microwave field (20-50 mW/cm2) respond with an escape or avoidance reaction within a few seconds of the onset of radiation.”

The effects of electromagnetic fields from power lines on avian reproductive biology and psychology: a review “For birds, the timing of reproduction, multiple aspects of migration, seasonal metabolism, circadian physiology, feeding and sleeping patterns, plumage color changes that relate to mate selection, growth and development, and the oxidative stress status of an individual may all be expected to change when melatonin is altered under EMF conditions”. (It should be taken into consideration that there is no “escape” from the influence of 5G as there is from power lines. Many types of migratory birds are known to avoid power stations etc as they approach, splitting their flying groups only to regroup again afterwards.)

Oppose Development of Spectrum Frontiers 5G on Health GroundsSubmitted by Ronald M. Powell, Ph.D.  “It would IRRADIATE EVERYONE, including the most vulnerable to harm from radiofrequency radiation” and “likely rely on the FCC’s current outdated, excessively permissive, and thus widely criticized , radiation-exposure guidelines that enable many parties to make false claims of safety for wireless products…It would set a goal of irradiating all environments, including the insides of homes…ending any remnant of the notion that “your home is your castle”in which you are supposed to be safe and have a measure of control of your environment…It would force cell antennas onto residential streets, bringing the threat even more up close and personal to the public…It would bypass all current studies endeavoring to determine if radiofrequency radiation is a factor in the explosive growth of major health conditions, such as autism, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and Alzheimers disease…It would totally ignore the rapidly growing international biomedical research literature that demonstrates that radiofrequency radiation has a host of adverse effects on human health (and animal, insect, and plant health, too) at levels far below the current FCC exposure guidelines…It would dismiss, as too expensive, the tremendous potential of wired technologies (especially fiber optics) to provide higher data rates, greater cyber security, and greater safety for human health, as if those benefits should be excluded from any cost comparisons with wireless technologies.

 

One of the biggest issues we have is that almost no 5G research has been conducted in any of these respects; which means we are very far from being ready to “launch” this technology.

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The terrible responsibility of “just knowing”

Why is it that I can’t seem to turn my nervous system down a few notches; what is it so desperate for me to know? Why does it deliver sound and sensation effects that I can do nothing about, can’t even quell for a moment? Since returning to the electrosmog of the UK, the shrill frequency “sound” in my head is relentless, there’s no disguising it and, at night when I turn the light off, I’m left all alone with it…with such a feeling of dread…only to find it still there in the morning. And my skin…it feels like its on fire. In Italy, yes, the noise was there but much quieter, subtler and in the background, like it used to be, here, a few years ago…but then things don’t feel so “amped up” there. Or, perhaps I needed the break from continuity to wipe away the scales from my eyes a little more, since its just so easy not to see what’s going on when you are in the thick of it…

Since returning, 5G, seems to be pressingly on my mind since its everywhere here; smiling counsellors under newspaper headlines shaking hands with telecoms execs, proudly declaring they want to be the first in the area to “switch it on” for the betterment of mankind. So why do I feel such pressing horror at it all? Is it just for me, this dread, knowing as I do how I can’t easily be within half a mile of a cellphone tower without experiencing it as heat and pain, and now they want to put one in front of my house (what is that very tall street lamp they’ve used to replace the old one, so LED-bright I have to shut every door on my landing before I can attempt to sleep; that my shutters glow space-age blue around the edges and pitch dark is lost forever…). Why, when I take refuge in the antics of birds in my garden, do I feel so very sad at what this means for them, how they, and the bees, and the trees and so many subtle aspects of the ecosystem are not going to be the winners here….how I feel almost as though I’m saying goodbye to them, like I’m trying to crystallise what it feels like to be able to take them for granted…

And how do I “just know” this stuff; why do I know that, like me, the birds and bees will be left compromised, possibly much worse (see below; don’t they know we can’t carry on without bees), by a frequency bandwidth that will sounding its tune, quite literally, everywhere in the blanket coverage that Britain declares we will have within a matter of a small number of years, starting this summer? There’ll be nowhere to hide, no opt-out corner to be had. Did my morale sink the most when I discovered that some of those very places I had in mind for our move west, being remote, rural, away from all this, were part of an initiative to have 5G first, so that farmers can track and trace their crops and livestock? Was that when I broke down in the existential crisis that shouldn’t have had to come so soon in the wake of such a good holiday, where I had (for a couple of weeks at least, allowed by the feeling of lessened intensity that permeates the very air there) managed to shove to the sidelines the substance of all these pressing alarms going off like a room full of  alarm clocks ringing at once?

Nobody is listening. That is the thing that sends this constant shard of pain right through my heart. Many people, doctors, organisations, etc are clamouring to air their disquiet, even their science, but nobody that can stop this thing has the slightest intention of listening and it feels like a heavy freight train rolling down a sheer escarpment…to every nerve fibre in my body.

For those of us who are sensitive, intuitive, empathic, gaining our “knowing” from who knows where or what, nor what dimensions, this is real, not pathological; and once, a long time ago, it was valued. Before the “age of reason” shoved us to the sidelines or had us put away, medicated, laughed at, we were the advisors to kings but not so any more; no, without an empirical piece of paper to show what we say holds water, we are the laughing stock, the fools on the hill. To be honest, even if we had that piece of paper, we would still be shut down pretty quickly by those with a vested interest; there are no winners in this game since the rules are all messed with.

And yet those who are already sensitive to the radiation from mobile communications (and to many other things…) know, quite literally know, with every fibre, ever ringing nerve end, of our being, that something is going wrong here. We may be the extreme end of the reaction but we are flagging-up what other’s are equally affected by, even if they are not yet aware the harmful effects or able to attribute those effects to the appropriate “thing”…because some of us simply pay attention more than others; being made that way, with the finer tuned nervous system that shares more in common with other species, not the industrialised human. We just know what we know…and there’s no quieting it down, no sitting it in a corner to play with its toys, no singing and dancing it away, taking it out of itself with distraction and no acting like it’s not happening. We are the clanging bell of our own early warning system and perhaps the hardest part of all is the feeling, renewed every day, that we should be doing something with this information; that we should be shouting it from the rooftops, alerting those who can do something about it, coming up with a single-handed plan to turn the boat around….but, realistically, we know that we can achieve none of that, might finish our fragile health off in the attempt, and so we are caught…trapped….the canary whose voice is going hoarse, trapped in a nightmare, longing to be free of the man-made hell that we seem to have landed in.


Even the most rational person….

can surely see that something is going desperately wrong here? Or are we really all so much like children now, trusting our governments to have our best interests at heart, that we submit to their final decision. Just read the summary put together by those who are most concerned about 5G, extract below, and some of my links if you are not up-to-speed on what 5G really means for you, your family, your planet. Many people seem to think its just like 4G but with an extra digit…but its really not; its very different science, using a short-wave, high-frequency bandwith that is known to tamper with aspects of human, animal and cellular (thus, plants included) health and communication methods that we don’t fully understand yet.

For those of us already responding to cellular technology, I believe this has less to do with “poor health” and much more to do with an early-warning system that these technologies are not yet compatible with human biology (my health crashed with the advent of the smartphone; in our way, those like me have become the experts). We might get there in the end, if human and animal wellbeing are kept well in the picture of how these technologies are developed (we need to learn so much more about what health entails than most doctors or scientists currently know)…but we are not even close, yet. However, this phase is being rolled out regardless of the lack of any significant “data” to demonstrate it will not significantly harm life on this planet (and plenty to suggest it will, see below); rushed through like some sort of shotgun wedding to cover the tracks of something else that is gestating on the other side of it. I’m no luddite, I love some of what technology can do, but I recognise when vested interest has got the upper hand over human and planetary wellbeing; and, once this is “switched on”, do we really think that those who control it are going to switch it back off, for any justification whatsoever? Besides, the chain reactions will have been started, and no earlier “back up” of the eco system that we can revert to.

If this continues, I believe we will see one nefarious action after the other, “justified” by the drive to grab this new technology and with all of our previous niggles about the eco-crisis overshadowed into oblivion by a giant monster of an eco-meltdown, caused by playing with matches before we know enough about fire. The idea that corporations can “buy” bandwidths like a piece of real estate is just so obviously fawed but then they get away with it by saying they’re doing it for our benefit. Meanwhile, all our previous priorities will be torn up for fire paper. For instance, we all like to do what we can to support the growing need for more trees and yet, already (because 5G milimetre waves tend to be absorbed by rainwater, leaves and plants…), I read there are widespread projects in hand to cull trees in its name, see this letter to Broadleaf magazine:

To: Letters Editor, Broadleaf

Dear Sir/Madam

I wonder if supporters of Woodland Trust are aware that the mass culling of healthy trees all over the world is reported to be related to the fact that trees, their foliage and especially wet foliage, can absorb and therefore impede, the propagation of 5G, the new generation of wireless technology?

This untested, new technology not only threatens the life and health of our trees, plants, animals and wildlife, but also ourselves.

In acting to protect our wonderful trees from harm, we also safeguard ourselves, our children and the wellbeing of future generations.

I hope that Woodland Trust will be successful in educating the public on this issue.

Yours faithfully, 

Janet  (Dr) M.A. M.B. Ch.B. (retired GP), Wales, UK.

Trees, as some of us know, are more social than we realise; communicating with each other in ways we don’t begin to fully understand so even when we don’t cut them down to make way for masts, we will be tampering with them in ways that threaten their very function and health on this planet. “Think GMOs on steroids” says the well-known EMF-specialist UK website Electrosense. The water that falls from the sky onto these plants will also be irradiated. A 2010 study on aspen seedlings showed that the exposure to radio frequencies led to the leaves showing necrosis symptoms”. I’ve already read an account of trees being removed because of bands of dead leaves showing up where 5G was being trialled. If you look around for these topics, you will find mounting evidence of this kind of things, affecting local nature and wildlife, happening in localised pockets (we need to stay vigilant for them), under a myriad of excuses and false reassurances…

People may assume that they haven;t been sensitive to the previous generations of cellular commication and so this will be no problem to them (though this doesn’t account for me and others like me who are undeniably sensitive). However, from what scientists already know, 5G opens up the potential for a new arena of risk relating to skin, nervous system and eyes which, as someone who already suffers from skin and vision issues relating to 4G and bluetooth, is a major concern to me.

“The biggest concern is how these new wavelengths will affect the skin. The human body has between two million to four million sweat ducts. Dr. Ben-Ishai of Hebrew University, Israel explains that our sweat ducts act like “an array of helical antennas when exposed to these wavelengths,” meaning that we become more conductive. A recent New York study which experimented with 60GHz waves stated that ‘the analyses of penetration depth show that more than 90% of the transmitted power is absorbed in the epidermis and dermis layer’. The effects of MMWs as studied by Dr. Yael Stein of Hebrew University is said to also cause humans physical pain as our nociceptors flare up in recognition of the wave as a damaging stimuli. So we’re looking at possibilities of many skin diseases and cancer as well as physical pain to our skin.” From Electrosense – 5G Radiation Dangers – 11 Reasons To Be Concerned.

In case all that wasn’t enough to worry about, this technology is already used for crowd control and paves the way for any single neighbourood, or even more precise targets than that, to be subjected to a new generation of control weaponry in the hands of those who would want such a thing…

Since getting home from Italy a few days ago, the sheer intensity of this “off” feeling as I newly notice the increased levels of exisiting electro-smog causing my skin to burn, eyesight to blur now I’m home, has been gathering all around me (maybe I am also empathising other people’s unspoken panic…). Its quite impossible for me to ignore these signals, this time; whether they are  “worse” because I had some time out from it all because things really have amped up here in my absence, perhaps 5G testing is going off without our knowing (for instance), I really don’t know… However, this intensity of “alarm” had to be spoken, I had to let the bird out of the cage today; get it off my chest. Like detecting a storm on the horizon, long before its first clap of thunder, I just know something dreadful is “going down” here. I have come to trust my body-reactions, far  more so than government reassurances and the hype pushed out by those with a vested interest, since they have never let me down.

So, this post has interrupted the thread of writing that I did while I was in Italy, some of which I am very eager to share, being of a different dimension, a much higher-vibe, to all this (a place I now prefer to be) but….sometimes the truth of our souls must “out” and so I had to pop the cork of these feelings, both for myself and those who might be sharing my intense disquiet. Perhaps we all need to pop this cork together instead of sitting nicely, for once, as we are entrained to do.

Because many of us, I suspect, are feeling like this right now…perhaps not even allowing the misgivings to take form; keeping them in, dreading conflict with people who hold different viewpoints, addressing those disquieting things we know are going on inside as “health symptoms” to be turned off with medication or other means. My urge to you, if this feels accurate, is that we must speak out, must air our concerns, play our part (however small)…we owe it to ourselves, our children and their children, all the other species we share this space with and, of course, our beloved planet.

Despite all that I have shared (please look through some of the information I’ve taken the time to put together below) and much more sobering and credible information online, from which the logical conclusion would be that we rethink or, at least, slow down the 5G process, there seems to be no sign of this happening. As I just heard on a video celebrating this new technology, those people who are working on it really don’t know what it is or will be capable of doing…its all work in progress and we are the experiment.

Our govenment’s response to a recent petition, for the record, was merely “Exposure to radio waves has been carefully researched and reviewed. The overall weight of evidence does not suggest devices producing exposures within current guidelines pose a risk to public health…However, the results of this study highlight the continuing uncertainties in this complex area and reinforce the importance of mobile phone users following the long-standing precautionary advice, which is available at the following links…”. This painfully naive response, which suggests they don’t even seem to fully realise that there will be no ability to “follow precautionary advice” to avoid over-exposure of something that will thickly blanket every square inch of the entire atmosphere of the world, whether we are “holding the phone close to the body” or not, reaffirms what seems to be the case here. The corporations and those behind them are playing the role of decision-making adults here, our governments are like little children wanting the latest gadgets and we are all caught in the crossfire; there is no interest whatsoever in the harmful effects that are about to be unleashed (perhaps they are desired) and it is down to the individuals like you and I to share this information and make ourselves heard, as a matter of urgency, before its too late.

Meanwhile…inept as it feels…we can pour our love and attention, more than ever before, into what we most fear losing, sharing the gift of our appreciation with trees, bees, birds and other creatures, a sky (relatively) free of interference, the fact that Nature’s cycles approximate what we expect, that we can still eat food that hasn’t been tampered with by unseen bandwidths, that not all our water is yet forced to ring to the clanging frequencies of manmade “sounds” carried on invisible waves (water being a mimicker of those frequencies that surround it, as demonstrated by Dr Emoto), indeed our profound gratitude for having food and water…at all. And we can meditate and hold abundant space, inside ourselves, for something far mightier than the monster tech of our times to arise out of the core of our planet and call time on such ill-informed tamperings; since the one untested territory we have as our trump card is that we know-not the power of our own (and combined) focus when fuelled by the most positive intentions.


Resources:

The following extract, with many links to supporting studies etc, is taken from an INTERNATIONAL APPEAL Stop 5G on Earth and in Space (go to website for full appeal):

“Despite widespread denial, the evidence that radio frequency (RF) radiation is harmful to life is already overwhelming. The accumulated clinical evidence of sick and injured human beings, experimental evidence of damage to DNA, cells and organ systems in a wide variety of plants and animals, and epidemiological evidence that the major diseases of modern civilisation—cancer, heart disease and diabetes—are in large part caused by electromagnetic pollution, forms a literature base of well over 10,000 peer-reviewed studies.

If the telecommunications industry’s plans for 5G come to fruition, no person, no animal, no bird, no insect and no plant on Earth will be able to avoid exposure, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, to levels of RF radiation that are tens to hundreds of times greater than what exists today, without any possibility of escape anywhere on the planet. These 5G plans threaten to provoke serious, irreversible effects on humans and permanent damage to all of the Earth’s ecosystems.”

At least five companies[5] are proposing to provide 5G from space from a combined 20,000 satellites in low- and medium-Earth orbit that will blanket the Earth with powerful, focused, steerable beams. Each satellite will emit millimetre waves with an effective radiated power of up to 5 million watts[6] from thousands of antennas arranged in a phased array. Although the energy reaching the ground from satellites will be less than that from ground-based antennas, it will irradiate areas of the Earth not reached by other transmitters and will be additional to ground-based 5G transmissions from billions of IoT objects. Even more importantly, the satellites will be located in the Earth’s magnetosphere, which exerts a significant influence over the electrical properties of the atmosphere. The alteration of the Earth’s electromagnetic environment may be an even greater threat to life than the radiation from ground-based antennas.

Even before 5G was proposed, dozens of petitions and appeals[7] by international scientists, including the Freiburger Appeal signed by over 3,000 physicians, called for a halt to the expansion of wireless technology and a moratorium on new base stations.[8]

In 2015, 215 scientists from 41 countries communicated their alarm to the United Nations (UN) and World Health Organization (WHO).[9] They stated that “numerous recent scientific publications have shown that EMF [electromagnetic fields] affects living organisms at levels well below most international and national guidelines”. More than 10,000 peer-reviewed scientific studies demonstrate harm to human health from RF radiation.[10] [11]

Effects include:

Effects in children include autism,[28] attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)[29][30] and asthma.[31]

Damage goes well beyond the human race, as there is abundant evidence of harm to diverse plant- and wildlife[32][33] and laboratory animals, including:

Negative microbiological effects[48] have also been recorded.

The WHO’s International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC) concluded in 2011 that RF radiation of frequencies 30 kHz – 300 GHz are possibly carcinogenic to humans (Group 2B).[49]However, recent evidence, including the latest studies on cell phone use and brain cancer risks, indicate that RF radiation is proven carcinogenic to humans[50] and should now be classified as a “Group 1 carcinogen” along with tobacco smoke and asbestos.

Most contemporary wireless signals are pulse-modulated. Harm is caused by both the high-frequency carrier wave and the low-frequency pulsations.[51]

The idea that we will tolerate tens to hundreds of times more radiation at millimetre wavelengths is based on faulty modelling of the human body as a shell filled with a homogeneous liquid.[77][78] The assumption that millimetre waves do not penetrate beyond the skin completely ignores nerves,[79] blood vessels[80][81] and other electrically conducting structures that can carry radiation-induced currents deep into the body.[82][83][84]Another, potentially more serious error is that phased arrays are not ordinary antennas. When an ordinary electromagnetic field enters the body, it causes charges to move and currents to flow. But when extremely short electromagnetic pulses enter the body, something else happens: the moving charges themselves become little antennas that reradiate the electromagnetic field and send it deeper into the body. These reradiated waves are called Brillouin precursors.[85] They become significant when either the power or the phase of the waves changes rapidly enough.[86] 5G will probably satisfy both criteria.

In addition, shallow penetration in itself poses a unique danger to eyes and to the largest organ of the body, the skin, as well as to very small creatures. Peer-reviewed studies have recently been published, predicting thermal skin burns[87] in humans from 5G radiation and resonant absorption by insects,[88] which absorb up to 100 times as much radiation at millimetre wavelengths as they do at wavelengths presently in use. Since populations of flying insects have declined by 75-80 per centsince 1989 even in protected nature areas,[89] 5G radiation could have catastrophic effects on insect populations worldwide. A 1986 study by Om Gandhi warned that millimetre waves are strongly absorbed by the cornea of the eye, and that ordinary clothing, being of millimetre-size thickness, increases the absorption of energy by the skin by a resonance-type effect.[90] Russell (2018) reviews the known effects of millimetre waves on skin, eyes (including cataracts), heart rate, immune system and DNA.[91]

Stakeholders thus far in the development of 5G have been industry and governments, while renowned international EMF scientists who have documented biological effects on humans, animals, insects and plants, and alarming effects on health and the environment in thousands of peer-reviewed studies have been excluded. The reason for the current inadequate safety guidelines is that conflicts of interest of standard-setting bodies “due to their relationships with telecommunications or electric companies undermine the impartiality that should govern the regulation of Public Exposure Standards for non-ionizing radiation”. [92] Professor Emeritus Martin L. Pall lays out the conflicts of interest in detail, and the lists of important studies that have been excluded, in his literature review. [93]

Other related articles and quotes:

Cryptochromes are very badly affected by weak oscillating electromagnetic fields that are orders of magnitude weaker than the Earth’s steady magnetic field. This can disrupt both solar and magnetic navigation, which can account for colony collapse disorder in bees.”—Dr. Andrew Goldsworthy, quoted in Bees, Butterflies And Wildlife: Research On Electromagnetic Fields And The Environment by The Environmental Health Trust.

“Life’s exquisite electro-physiology is still being discovered. Researchers at Bristol University reported in May that bees’ hairs are highly sensitive to flowers’ delicate EMFs. In controlled trials in Switzerland, bees reacted to mobile-phone signals with high-pitched ‘piping’: a cue to desert a hive.” – Wireless Pollution ‘Out of Control’ as Corporate Race for 5G Gears Up.

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The article Bees, Birds and Mankind: Destroying Nature by ‘Electromog’ (exctract right) by Ulrich Dr. Warnke of the University of Saarlan is a must-read on the likely effects upon these species of tampering with the geomagnetic field to this unprecedented extent. To quote Geovital, the Academy for Radiation Protection and Environmental Medicine (these are the experts I consulted to help protect my living enviroment due to my radiation related health issues): “The Cryptochromes (photoreceptors that regulate entrainment by light of the circadian clock in plants and animals) are very badly affected by weak oscillating electromagnetic fields that are orders of magnitude weaker than the Earth’s steady magnetic field. Disrupting both solar and magnetic navigation, which can account for colony collapse disorder in bees. If we lose the bees we lose the ability for our food plants to be pollinated.” From Geovital article  – Our Obsession with Mobile Technology Could Destroy Wildlife.

Hundreds of Birds Dead During 5G Experiment in the Netherlands from one of many accounts related to 5G and birds.

Doctors worldwide reporting the incredible benefits of reducing EMF exposure (as I can testify, though this will no longer be possible to achieve once 5G arrives).

“The plans to beam highly penetrative 5G milliwave radiation at us from space must surely be one of the greatest follies ever conceived of by mankind. There will be nowhere safe to live.” – Olga Sheean former WHO employee and author of ‘No Safe Place’

“It would irradiate everyone, including the most vulnerable to harm from radiofrequency radiation: pregnant women, unborn children, young children, teenagers, men of reproductive age, the elderly, the disabled, and the chronically ill.” —Ronald Powell, PhD, Letter to FCC on 5G expansion

“Milimetre Waves (MMWs from 5G) are absorbed by both plants and rain. Studies have already shown that MMWs may invoke stress protein changes in plants such as wheat shoots, while low levels of nonionizing radiation have been linked to disturbances and health problems in birds and bees. It could even pose a danger to the food supply via its potential absorption by plants”. From Amplified EMFs Coming to Your Neighborhood Soon and many more articles on these topics.

Neuroscientist Dr Sarah Starkey talks about the “official advice”on radiation frequency and how it came about, riddled as it was with conflicts of interest that, to this day, still prevent the public interest from being safeguarded by their findings (video of her presentation here and below).

The so-called “independent” evidence used to prepare the guidelines currently used for raditation exposure (as presented by Dr Sarah Starkey on 5th November 2018 at the PHIRE Conference, London).

What we desperately need to happen now…

 

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What we need now…before we go any further, not after 5G has been fully invested in. From Dr Sarah Starkey, talk given at the PHIRE Conference, London, as above.

 

 

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Revisiting the Venetian labyrinth

We forget, sometimes, that our planet came first, that we were the late addition; that energy impulses come through our very feet and we interpret them with our actions; but I never forget, nor fail to notice the energy of “place” and how we interact with this.

A hypothesis never spoke more resonantly to me than that proposed by Dr Carl Johan Calleman; being that the planet has been subjected, for the last few thousand years, to a downloaded blueprint of a sphere divided into eight partitions. Thus, the planet itself is hemispherical, even to the point of being made of quite different core structures (half crystalline, half molten) in its two primary compartments or halves, in the same way that we have more and less structured left and right “sides” to our brains; indeed, this seeming coincidence is because there is resonance between human and planetary mind. As a series of energy waves have “come in” to this global mind from a cosmic “tree of life” (each of these waves oscillating between alternate “on” or “off” periods), these have become available to human beings, whose minds then have the option of developing resonance with this new planetary influence. Since this compartmentalisation process began, this has played out as the stuff of a separation era that has been as challenging as its been productive over the last few thousand years; shifting people into new places and dynamics all across the globe.

If so, he proposes that the 12th degree longitude east is the “location” of the planetary hemispherical division, supplying plenty of historical evidence for his hypothesis (there is now, also, some compelling scientific evidence in suport of his theory, regarding the varying core substance of the planet, divided at the 12th degree as he first speculated: see his book “The Global Mind and the Rise of Civilization”). All of this suggests that, out of this rub-point, we have ejected ourselves like the very human fountain of (often conflicting) ideas and, thus, spread ourselves (and these ideas) all over the globe. “Logically the effect of the shifts between different fields of the global mind would then be most evident close to the midline separating the Western and Eastern hemispheres, since it is there that the primary yin-yang polarity is created”, Calleman explains. In other words, places along the 12th degree may show up the various rubbing points of each wave era somewhat more distinctly, during their phase of influence, than in other places…and, perhaps, those of us who are sensitive and tuned into a particular wave get to feel this even more so, as its happening, especially during times of profound shift, as we are currently in.

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Illustration from The Global Mind and the Rise of Civilisation” The Quantum Evolution of Consciousness – Dr Carl Johan Calleman

This 12th degree longitude location as his best suggestion for such a “divide” sent tingles down my spine when I first read about it as I had long been fascinated by how, of all the places I could pick for my annual holidays and other ramblings, I had always tended to weave my journeys up and down some sort of north south line, on that very longitude, like a meandering snake wrapped around a long staff. Perhaps this first occurred to me when I put together one of those TripAdvisor maps of all the places I had ever travelled. From Italy to Scandinavia, it had exerted some sort of magnet pull to my experiences; many of them as cathartic as they had proved interesting or challenging over the thirty years of my adulthood. Some places, in particular, had drawn me more than anywhere else, perhaps with no obvious rhyme or reason, like I had no sway over the human plot-line that would have me go there, over and over again, even when I tried to exert other choices that would seem more rational. We each have our places; I seem to “work with” the very borderlands of yin and yang, both inside and out.

I won’t go on to list all of these experiences; there are way too many, though more than enough to catch my interest. However, one of the most potent places, perhaps the most in terms of visit-frequency, is Venice, which I first went to as a back-packer in my very early twenties. In that story alone, I see the evidence of this illogical magnet-pull effect since, though my first experience there was as darkly “interesting” as it was rich and unforgettable, I rewrote the whole schedule of a month’s worth of travel, for my friend and I, in order to return there on the way back from Istanbul; a change in our plans that led to some friction that went on to cause the dissolution of that friendship. Yet I would have it no other way; quite compelled, I just knew I had to return for more. It continued like that for the next 25 years, with a re-trip (at least) every 5 years, including a darkly fascinating honeymoon to my first marriage, where (already) we spent nearly all of our time apart…and me to be found, happily, exploring all those Venetian backwaters all alone, on some sort of winding wandering path to try and refind some part of myself. It was about then that I started reading books, absolutely any fiction, I could find about the place. It was only much later that I started to wonder if I had had previous lifetime experience of Venice…On every visit, I “had” to visit the Mondo Novo (“new world”) mask shop and bring one back; no other mask shop came close to this exquisite workshop, the rest were just tourist traps by comparison and my house still displays this bizarre collection of acquisitions.

Again, many years later, in 2007 (the oh-so-potent fifth day of the eighth wave according to Calleman…just when you would expect the right/east hemisphere to “rise” according to his predictions), I happened to return for my second honeymoon; different, vastly improved, husband. This trip was done with a typical lack of convention for this stage of my personal growth (corresponding as it did with the year I spent unpicking all the buckles and ties of my previous life) since we went there a week or so before our wedding and took along our blended family of two kids. That time (which was the very last time I visited Venice, until now) was the most intriguing in that, although I still loved it with an irrational amount of fervour, those previously detected shadows to be found in many of its corners now became a sort of dark underbelly that was beginning to show itself through my actual physical body, so that I felt sickly, feverish, swollen and came home with so many insect bites, to which I had such a horribly exaggerated reaction, that I looked like I had some sort of tropical illness and had to be put on antibiotics to clear it up. It was as though, at the very point my consciousness was starting to crack open, this potent place dared me to do it, threw down the gauntlet and tried to put me back inside my box of fears, though it didn’t work (the experiences of the following year blew me wide open).

This latest visit, a couple of weeks ago, was just a day-trip squeezed in between Verona and the mountains and yet I knew I had to go there; experienced the same irrational fervour of excitement at the very idea we could squeeze it into our itinerary, though it had been the longest break-away from the place (12 years) since my last visit.

At the surface of things, and judging by the mountain of photos I took (Venice being infinitely photogenic) I wasn’t disappointed…and yet. Something had shifted, in me, since those earlier times; as though I was no longer subject to the same degree of beguilement as before…the spell had been broken and I had become the independent observer of the place, perhaps for the first time. It was then that I realised how important the benchmark of this revisit was, compared to all those other visits to a place that always evokes such a distinct reaction in me; a reaction that is never just vanilla-bland but which is powerfully contrasty and distinct, made up equally of both black and white.

This time, it was as though I could see all that black-and-white-ness all too starkly and yet, mostly, I was able to distance myself from it; to observe, to play witness. Walking its familiarly labyrinthine streets, which I felt compelled to do in a most particular order, I got the sense of an energy that feels like snakes coiled around a pivot-point; a sort of basket with its centre in San Marco. Both of us, being the no-longer dialled-down or apologetic sensitives that we now are following a decade’s worth of personal growth, felt the energy become distinctly more frenzied, less comfortable, the closer we got to that centre point and yet…as its streets are designed to “do”, there is virtually no avoiding that central magnet point of San Marco, forced as you are to head to the Rialto Bridge in order to cross over to the other side of the Grand Canal (oh what a clever design). My least favourite place in the whole of the city, Rialto is undoubtably a microcosm of the world at large, its in-your-face  commercialism and brashness an affront to the senses of any who dare to abstain from its allure (though we walked up the outside steps to completely avoid the shops). On the other side, all paths seem to tug us to San Marco but, from past experience, I knew different and took us off to a sort of refuge to the side in the hope of some sustenance before we continued. There seemed no mistake in the way that two places that felt far-more attuned to our frequency “happened” to appear soon after that, before we reached San Marco, like a rescue party to our flagging resolve, situated on the very shoulder of the head of this monster-energy. The first was an unexpected juice bar and then we found the tiny plant-based restaurant that I had ear-marked (unheard of in Venice a decade ago…rare even now) where we spent some peaceful time, sat in a small courtyard, before bracing ourselves to “go in” to the mouth of the monster.

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All-too-familiar depiction of Eve conversing with strangely human-looking serpent in San Marco; so weary of these old mindsets.

San Marco is, of course, a must-see of the whole place and yet, more than ever (it had happened to me before) its energy was disturbing to me…to both of us…in fact, my husband (who was less familiar with it than I) most of all. The push and shove of frenzied tourists, of Oriental photo-taking groups pulling well-rehearsed photo faces, of just as bizarre couture shops proposing androgynous-looking outfits that were OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAalmost sinister in the audacity of both their camply space-age style and of their price tag (effeminate silken suits bedecked by zebras…etc), all the typical tourist-targeted trash asserted in oddly repetitious window displays and yet the crowds only clamouring for more, no one seeming to mind or to question… Oh and there were flashes of such beauty, and of heart-rendingly adacious genius (right), too; all in the mix. It all felt oddly dystopian, if with a splash or two of vividly unexpected colour; as though this was the place where all the paint pots were stored before the H-bomb went off…

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERABy the time we got through this portion of the city, and having found our way back to the other side via a bridge that has (I realised) always felt like my saviour back to the relative sanity of Academia, we were almost panting with the exertion of “getting out” and were grateful for a sudden, refreshing, shower of rain. Leaning against a wall, for breath and to enjoy the odd juxtaposition of a nun clicking away on her mobile phone, I had to smile as I looked up to see such synchronistic symbols embellishing the wall of a house; a tree of life, a cornucopia (“my” special symbol; a OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAreminder of the veritible funnel of sheer abundance that the gift of awareness is…) and a pair of serpent-like entwined birds. Yes, this place is made up of tightly packed serpent energies, the same masculine and feminine dragon lines that I have worked with so many times in the OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAlandscape before. Only, here, they are forced to live shoulder to shoulder, to oscillate oh-so rapidly between one and the other that it is like a high voltage electricity socket…put your fingers in and you will know about it. Alternatively, live there and you will be taken through the motions of a high-frequency experience of what both light and dark look like, feel like, in ever-present intensity; one always peering over the shoulder of the other in seeming contradiction and yet…when they happen to spark…pure magic can ignite.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAThese places, as I started out saying in this post, assert their energy and then humans came along and interpreted them through their actions, expressing them as what looks like human life, human decisions, human preoccupations, human mastery. What made people settle in this swampy, mosquito-ridden place; what made them just so determined to be here that they exercised all their powers of ingenuity to build where there was almost nothing to build on, to keep innovating, starting over from scratch when the waters reclaimed all their efforts, learning from their mistakes in order to build a city that became an empire and a spiritual, cultural, commercial tour de force of the separation era? Yes, I’m sure there are historians and other academics that could explain a set of circumstances that made that all as it was but none of their logical theories, really, holds water the way Venice really does…as a city built on water, of the water, so much so its inhabitants (or, at least, its gondoliers) are said to have webbed feet. Now, that same breed mostly glide unseeing, unfeeling tourists around the flowing backwaters as part of some sort of unrelenting machine of tourist schedules that sets off these multi-cultural day-trippers like clockwork toys, dashing from pillar to post “doing” the Venice of their guide “apps”. I felt so glad I had spent so many lonely trips walking these same routes at quieter times, to my own rhythms, with nought but the sound of cooing pigeons, sounding bells and the lap of water against brick…feeling into “place” without a guidebook to tell me otherwise.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERANo different, really, to any of those other places that I have detected a power-node made up of masculine and feminine leylines meeting, only here they are space-compromised housemates and so their world has eliminated almost all but what was made of brick or water, getting straight to the point…like a citadel to the yin and yang forces at the very meeting point of the global consciousness that lies at the 12th degree. You could expect such a place to have had an interesting past; and so it has.

And yet now, somehow (or was it just me, having seen what I needed to see and thus no longer so compelled by the magic of the now-internalised and claimed feeling of my own hemispherical power-house), Venice felt like being on board a dying star. Its influence has waned in tandem with the dying pull of the separation era (yes, really, that is happening all around is, hard though it is to see at ground level…) and so what used to be a radiant beacon of light seemed to be going through all the sparks and spluttering of a winding-down Catherine wheel; its hoard of treasures reduced to an over-abundance of worthless trinkets and its east-meets-west political influence drizzled down to a rather comedic pastiche of its former self, as some sort of tourist stop-off for the endless click and grab cruises pouring in.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAYet, hard though it is to explain, I still loved it with such a fervour; a real heart-pang…perhaps it was nostalgia or because I saw all its flaws, knew what it had acheived, held both in balance and accepted them just like I would accept both the human and divine expressions of my own innate qualities. As I sat there drinking tea in a Japanese tea room off the main “drag”, I realised I saw it exactly as it was, warts and all, and loved it all the same. We can ask no more of ourselves when we regard our own humanity and that of every one all around us; all being made up of this same stuff. For those two hours that we sat slowly sipping tea in a place with a rare garden through the adjacent windows, as the rain continued to turn all the foliage back into some sort of wildly dripping secret garden in the miniature, as though alchemised by the relief-tears of Nature’s joyful weep, I allowed this new feeling of uncondionality to wash over me and was so glad I had come.

Yet so disenchantedly pragmatic were we, by then, with the grand passion-driven schedule we had previously devised (grand passions, after all, have the tendency to burn themselves out…), we cut our original plans to stay into the evening, cancelling our table at the one vegan restaurant in town, in order to head back to Verona in the ever heavier rain of the greying day. Though we wandered slowly back to our start-point through what is my favourite, being quietest, part of the city, my business here felt “done”. All the colour seemed to have washed out of the place now, in this seldom-seen weather system of what has been a bizarre month of climatic surprises. The Mondo Novo shop, when we got there, had long-ago closed down, its once enchanted windows newspapered over and left looking quite ghostly and desolate. The feeling of being on the verge of a new era, of not being there yet but stuck waiting in the wastelands, was ever-present as we got back to our car, not really knowing when or even if we would be back.

Out of interest for those who work with this understanding, the ninth wave (as per Calleman’s books; see my other posts on this topic) was deep into its night phase when we visited Venice, thus its influence was removed from the equation, being decompartmentalized at the time (we rely on contrast so that we can see and understand our world). So, perhaps, this is, first of all, why I was compelled so strongly to go there and tugged, almost against my desire, towards its very centre like a whirlpool (“when [the global mind] is decompartmentalised…the midline boundary collapses, resulting in a movement towards the centre abolishing the previous polarity” Calleman explains). Perhaps, also, it is why I was left looking at what seemed like a somewhat tired and irrelevant throw-back to an earlier era (“wave”) full of its old preoccupations and polarities which don’t interest me any more; thus I may have experienced it quite differently a few days later during a ninth wave “day” phase (though I suspect I experienced it exactly as I needed to experience it for my own evolution).

It was then as we decided to leave prematurely that, yes still charged-up on the undeniably bizarre “dynamo” energy of this still turning merry-go-round of an energy node, and in our sheer tiredness from a day of endless walking, my husband failed to enter the right line at the motorway toll booth or me, being “off with the fairies”, to notice until he announced he didn’t have a ticket to pay at the other end. As we were forced to resolve this almost painfully complex issue at the end of the road, there being initially no one to help us get through the barrier and work out how to pay the inevitable fine the next day, I still had to laugh at what this really felt like. Venice had had to have the last laugh; especially upon those who dared to see through its seduction. In having seen it exactly as it was, as though caught in its underwear, we had been thrown like a wild ball from a roulette wheel and had landed in “the wrong” lane to get home again. By the next morning, I found it funny, even if my husband didn’t. It was almost as though were were briefly held prisoner at that toll station, trapped in a labyrinthine dead end for our lapse in joining in with the beguilement party…and yet, in asserting our right to travel away from Venice’s pull freely and in our own merry way (as in, unticketed…albeit by “accident”), it was as though we had made a break for freedom from all such energy nodes; claiming back the individual right to be the hemispherical choice of ourselves. Bizarre as it sounds, it felt distinctly like we had passed some sort of gateway test, graduating to becoming the autonomous consciousness (at the auto station…) that enlightenment is all about; no longer swept along with all the many impulses that come up from beneath the feet but choosing what feels most heart-resonant, using innate knowing as our guide…

It had been a powerful day; one that continued to play out its repercussions for the next few days (observed with interest) and it all reminded me to be respectful of these meeting places between light and dark, masculine and feminine, wherever they occur. Necessary as they are, being the very pivot-point of our human creation, they are not to be taken lightly; we need to know what we are getting into, to be prepared to take the rough with the smooth, to allow both impulses to occur together and even mingle (for the purest alchemy), however much we may feel as though we “prefer” one over the other, for they cannot be separated…anywhere in creation. Its when we try to do that very thing (separation) that we go so badly wrong and yet its where we use these forces hand in hand that they manifest a formidable energy; formerly, the creator of empires and, going forwards (in the right hands) a whole new world…we can hope. We all need these skills; we can’t afford to leave them to those who would sell our world for an easy profit. No longer tied to the 12th degree, those who have learned this stuff, who have experienced it viscerally, have now spread out to new places; ones where they no longer need to enact the impulse of a particular place, having internalised what they know in such a way that they can recreate the same yin-yang balance in any place of their choice, using their heart-consciousness (since the heart is the very cauldron where these two supposedly opposite forces mingle). Yet we can still be thankful, as indeed I am, for those places such as Venice, Rome, Berlin, Copenhagen… (the list goes on) that have trained and widely distributed some of the greatest energy masters, greatest influencers (“good” and “bad”…they are all just shifting energies) of our world, having learned how through the very soles of their feet!

References:

The Global Mind and the Rise of Civilisation: The Quantum Evolution of Consciousness

The Nine Waves of Creation: Quantum Physics, Holographic Evolution and the Destiny of Humanity

Both written by Carl Johan Calleman PhD – own website calleman.com

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Being the unpruned tree

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Cutting through all the crap

Usually, I love a good birthday like the next person, possibly more. I suspect, something about being born on May Day, a time infused with all the potent energy of new beginnings, has always enabled me to convince myself the feeling of that day was something about me and what I have to bring to the world. “Worry not world, I’m here now”, it probably told me, at some subliminal level, as a child, and as I watched all of winter’s tattered clothes get folded up and tucked in a bottom draw for another season, I would feel as though it was all my doing or, at least, a party put on for me. The very fact of me bouncing out of bed with such gusto in the morning was the flipping-point of any bad situation and everything would look brighter from now on, it couldn’t not; oh, the inbuilt optimism of youth!

Yet I’m noticing a far more somber take on things this year. For some days now, probably longer, a different feeling has been clawing at me, gaining its larger territories from me first thing in the morning, just as I wake up, gnawing at my gut. If “a feeling of impending doom” is too much then maybe “deep pervading sadness” is closer yet I can’t seem to shake it off or deny it any more; which, for this time of year, is new enough to gain my full attention. Is it just my age, being (as of yesterday) 51, I ask myself…am I dreading getting older, feeling like I’m “over the hill”…but no, honestly, I dont think its that at all.  It feels all too pervasive; I’m noticing its clues everywhere, like a creeping blight spreading subtly and surely into summer’s crops…

I like to spend some time on my own in the run up to my solar return, to go for a walk, yes, even take some pictures of myself somewhere meaningful to me, usually out in nature with my dog. If this sounds like the usual selfie-obsession, I can assure you its not my style; I seldom take such pictures unless I’m goofing around with my partner, the rest of the year. No, it feels like something more akin to that very-useful practice of looking one’s self straight in the eyes, long and lovingly, in the mirror (a practice that so many people will do almost anything to avoid, so arresting yet unsettling…then cathartic… can it be). Like testing the water of where I’m at in the flow of life, this annual benchmark enables me to scrutinise myself, to assess where I’m really at, to ask “what do my eyes tell me?”, knowing they tell truth.

This year wasn’t particularly good news. Try as I might to smile in this, my favourite place, on a sunny afternoon, lying down on a hillock dotted with all the usual wild flowers of spring, I couldn’t seem to raise a smile. Actually, the smile was there but it didn’t spread even close to the eyes, try as I might. No, those eyes looked deadly serious, looked so hound-dog sad, looked deeply concerned. They reminded me of the eyes of the young yet determined Greta Thunberg who appears in my newsfeed daily; filled with all the concerns of an era, the weight on her shoulders of all of us, like a teenage Atlas yet no one much thanking her for all her efforts. My eyes, in those pictures, still haunt me for the deep, all-pervading sadness, the inability to lie, that shines out beneath furrowed brows that had no idea they were anything but neutral at the time. This year, they’re set deeply behind the curtains of fleshy concern that make it look as though my face is puckered into the announcement of bad news to myself.

What is it that has taken from me the annual ability to be frivolous, the usual unconditionality of joy that takes me over, like the skipping around of a Maypole in springtime? Why can’t I manage even one or two minutes of that degree of abandon now; like I haven’t a care in the world? No, thats not quite true, I can still pull that face…with my husband by my side, or when its him holding the camera at me, goofing around…which is why most of my publicly shared pictures look the same as they ever did, my face the carefree reflection of the loveable jester I chose to keep my head above the water of this life. Yes, I’m all too aware, these days, that my husband is the only “thing” that keeps me afloat. On those days when I’m being really frank with myself, I’m also aware that, without him by my side, I doubt I could bring myself to go on another day…I doubt I would see the point. When I’m on my own, which I am much of the time, a vastly more serious person steps in; someone who spends almost every living moment focussed on matters of grave concern to all of us, with our very survival as a species, with the matter of how we’re evolving, whether we’re evolving, whether we’re evolving in time…

Why doesn’t anyone else seem to bear this load? Yes, I know that they do (or course they do); in pockets, many do and those people tend to make a life’s work of activism, of “fighting” to do what they can do for this world spinning out of control). For me, with my “ailments”, all those sensitivities that make me feel like the bearly-on-my-perch canary in a coal mine, I know I can’t go deeply into those activities, I lack the robustness; and so, I have to assume, there are many more like me who are quietly, almost mutely, drowning in compassion and concern for a world that is going terribly, terribly wrong and not enough time to rectify it. The all-pervading feeling of “fiddling while Rome burns” haunts me, these days, when I allow myself to do the most ordinary of things and it takes the joy out of everything; gay abandon no longer feels like an option. There is no “time off” from these concerns, I find; having used up all my holidays long long ago…

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAFor instance, for my birthday, we went to a vegan restaurant in the New Forest (Chris Packham’s favourite, I’m told…and there’s a man who’s prepared to put his mouth and his fame where his concerns are, which is leading to him being targeted by all the shitty underbelly of a world in denial). After that, we did what is typical of many a year’s birthday celebrations and went to a National Trust property for the afternoon. These houses and estates seem to appeal to me less and less, these days, yet, like cathedrals, I find I’m drawn to them…still…for the particular space that they occupy; their locations, not their bric-a-brac. Such places hog some of the most powerful and unsullied energy hot-spots of our world because those who claimed them, historically, were no fools when it came to planting themselves and their dynasties on the power-nodes of the land. So, this time, I felt drawn to a place called Mottisfont Abbey, long since a country house, for no reason except I remembered the gay abandon of particularly abundant roses the one time I’d been there before and knew I wanted to be around some exceptional trees, though I had no direct recollection of what trees were there (I was quite a different person when I was last there…a sleeping version of my current self, with eyes only for the obvious).

So, we arrived at the Mottisfont estate and, as ever, by the end, I knew I could have “taken the house or left it”…in fact it left me cold. I almost had to do star jumps to shake off the stagnant, heavy energy of its spaces and those who lived in it, with their miserable servants (documents left lying around for “historic interest” made it quite clear how these were just glorified slaves), before it was turned into a mausoleum to another era that (while TV dramas continue to romanticise them) still holds this one in its grip. I do tip my hat at the volunteers there, all of “a certain age”, brim-full of their well-practiced anecdotes, bubbling with tireless enthusiasm for their particular dust-mote filled space yet our desire to linger over the details had never been at such a low. As these white-haired guides all flew the building as a flock, us being the last to tour the house, I was left wondering, who will do their job in another ten or twenty years time; who, of the next generation (my generation) will pass through this respectable turf, prepared to develop so much minute interest in all this stuff, having not cared so very much for it all the rest of their lives? Do the National Trust even have a contingency plan for the mass-extinction of all their volunteers or is this another extinction crisis that we are in denial about? 

With bitter irony, I could imagine many people, certain tabloids, the TV news, taking this one far more seriously than that of our species…certainly headlining it more.

“Old” me (a version that used to wonder if I would ever do such a “job” in my twilight years, to keep my brain active…) would have found this sad but now I really don’t. Out of all that we saw there, taking Mottisfont as a location rather than “an estate”, the house struck me as the most surplus to requirements of anything, except as a charming old folly, seen from the outside. If it was just doing its thing by being there then fine, but we are, collectively, preserving it (the endless round of conservation tasks was well underway) at what trade-off with more pressing matters? When told so proudly by a volunteer, for instance how a forbidding and uncomfortable-looking fourposter bed had recently cost £30,000 to build from scratch, the identical replica to its predecessor, built by the same family of craftspeople as before….never to be slept in (so, surely an MDF box with a coverlet would have done the job)…just so people like me could nod sagely as they wander past, I was struck only by the unconscious and blinkered nonsense of it all when there are such pressing needs in the world. How many people could that fund-pot, spent on silken drapes and tassels, have made a profound difference to? What differences could be made to the sustainability of this estate or, better still, some far more impactful  location? Like when I heard about the hundreds of millions of dollars worth of pledges that have, quite astonishingly, been made to restore Notre Dame when bearly a fraction of the world’s population will ever get to see it, this relic of another time, I was only saddened by this almost obscene demonstration of human obtuseness. Where are such pledges when we talk about the climate disaster, the extinction of species, the trashing of the oceans?

Yes, I realise, a big part of my all-pervading sadness is the utter disillusionment with my species that I am bowing beneath the weight of; is this the inevitable consequence of gathering all the wisdom of my years, as I was so eager and enthusiastic to do? If so, where are all the other wise ones; let’s show ourselves, we’re all needed now, like never before. Without such wisdom, we are like so many unruly children run amok, heading straight for the sweetie jar of life, again and again, always thinking we can worry about the consequences “tomorrow”, yet quite unable (or unwilling) to grasp what is far more serious and in need of attention, right beneath our noses.

Mottisfont 35.jpgSo, yes, I was there yesterday for something else and yet hardly knew what it was until I saw the trees…vast, spreading, monumental oak and plane trees the scale and height and breadth of which I seldom get to wrap my appreciative arms around. The first thing that struck me, as we first entered that lyrical landscape from the bend in the lane was, oh, the trees…and then (the country house itself) a very small pile of brick by comparison, a mere scuff-mark on the land, made out of manmade preoccupations and just so easy to sweep away. Everyone else, or nearly all of them, you could tell, was there for those bricks and mortar, marching determindly towards them, walking straight past these great giants on their path as though they simply weren’t there and yet the one-time abbey turned into Tudor spit-turning, leather tanning monstrosity, then shrunken back to genteel county pad, now mausoleum to a pile of relics, was the very least of it to me; a burp or a hiccough in time, as we too will be if we’re not so very mindful.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

These trees, so huge you couldn’t even frame them in a single shot, were so obviously the main event (their quiet wisdom was palpable; they had played witness to all the other stuff, watched it all sagely and not missed a beat in their tree-ness) along with the spring by their side. Oh, the wonderful, magical spring…the moot font of “Mottisfont” (or “meeting spring”) of times passed, long long before those first bricks were laid. A strangely bluish pool (for such a cloudy afternoon) feeding into a small waterfall, then into a slip stream of the river Test (always one of my favourites), I could feel the power of this water-source without even touching it (which I wasn’t able to do, it being fenced off and signs all over the edge of the stream forbidding paddling…). The trees conveyed its frequency; every leaf and blade of grass there was resonant with it. No WONDER the rose garden here had left such an impression on me all those years ago, no wonder these monumental trees growing and growing; with this water source beneath your feet, how could you go wrong?

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOf course, we, as a species, can go very wrong…and we have, and we do…continuously; and this is what saddens me so continuously now that I can bearly raise another thought to counter it, having reached my wisdom years. My “yeah buts” about the human species are rapidly running out and I’m left wondering why we are still so fast asleep; but then any wonder when you notice how the gridlock of learned behaviours holds us fast in our lanes of non-dissent. A day spent at the National Trust is enough to make you see it, horribly, in the repeat behaviours that have not altered one-jot since I was a girl…the same rank and file to purchase pointless gifts and for the tea shop as has always been, the same queue for earl grey and scone (“anything vegan and gluten free, perhaps something less sweet?” meets wide eyed, agape response). The same utterances at other OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAtables from groups of people that look and behave just the same as they always have. The same all-pervading feeling that while these old buildings stand intact, their contents kept neatly in place, everything will all be alright, the national identity preserved for another membership year, the bad news sneaking through any cracks “just hyperbole”, and so we can shirk personal responsibility and continue on as we always have. Well intentioned as these institutions are, they contribute (not least with their choice of priorities) to the preservation of a very dangerous illusion. They give the impression that somebody…way more informed than we are…is taking care of everything for us and with all the meticulouslness of a conservation archeologist, white gloved and thorough; that we can let the experts get on with it, they know best, but what if they turn out to be asleep on the job? What if our future has nothing whatsoever to do with revering and preserving our past (and all its inherent flaws)?

Of course, there are many degrees of this issue with “institutionalised thinking”; our governments are heinously institutionalised, as are our schools, for instance. The NT does such good work preserving these places (which, otherwise, would have been parcelled up and built on as soon as these historic buildings and their previous owners fell into hard times) but, going forwards, we have to get the balance right, between preservation of what’s truly important and, primarily, keeping these spaces protected yet open for public access, use and appreciation. Many of these places are far too powerful to be locked away, we need them now; as potent energy nodes on the landscape, they reactivate divine values and forgotten wisdom in our collective memorybank,

With the launch of my fifty-second year, why do I suddenly feel we are gripping the white-knuckled grip of a culture on the edge of a cliff? And these once-benign places concern me; I seem to see through them all, cutting through their crap like a hot knife through butter now, my rose-tinted goggles removed. They are held in trust (the clue is in the name), just as so many other institutions hold the long-established, seldom questioned, trust of the people…and yet, what if it turns out, they are as misguided as they could be, the very band continuing to play as we all march to our demise? Until we question our way out of the entrenched normality of a previous age, we have no hope of seeing what is really going on before our very eyes. Thirty-thousand on a bed…it still haunts me!

An evening spent talking to my brother, who has just lost the beautiful green field next to his house, its “green belt” protected status and other protective loopholes mysteriously removed just as a developer came along wanting to buy it for housing (back-handers to council members are suspected…yet residents feel defeated before they begin to contest these things…which is what “they” want them to feel) hasn’t helped my mood. Now is not the time for complacency, for any of us, if we can but rally like it really matters. We are, each of us, facing our versions of these scenarios, arn’t we? Each and every one of these opportunities to face up to the crap we see going on is our contribution to the whole momentum of calling to account whatever and whoever is, directly or indirectly, abusing our planet for questionable motives.

So, perhaps, the furrowed brow and all-pervading concern in my pre-birthday pictures were right on the target for this year; the litmus paper in my water source and, it tells me, I was just a little bit too soft before. The sun is shining brightly today, it could almost be any day in any May that there ever was, yet there’s part of me that (I notice) won’t let myself be beguiled into such complacency any more without also noticing the darker underbelly when I scratch the surface oh-so lightly. If I have any pervading past-life memories it is of having experienced cataclysm before; of having wired myself to be the super-sensitive to its traits, this time around, as well as determined enough to speak out about what I see. And if the spirit of Maytime runs through my very veins as my most familar feeling, my home frequency, and yet I’m not quite feeling it this year, am noticing something disquieting in the air, and am sensing our global opportunities for “rebirthing” (as Maytime knows how to do best) are getting desperately more compromised all the time, my deepest feminine intuition tells me to have the courage to acknowledge this and to speak of it, not just sweep it under the rug “this time”. Perhaps I’ve entered an era of my life where, instead of a comfortable demise into tweed and deadheading roses, I’m about to start seeing through all the illusions, all the time (not even able to switch it off for high days and holidays) and if that increases my frown lines then, I guess, so be it.

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Rare as gold

Screenshot 2019-04-29 at 22.15.23.pngI consider myself very fortunate indeed that I heard more than one nightingale on my walk in the forest on Sunday; I even managed to get a photo to check this was what I was really hearing since I was quite amazed….they are so rare that I had hardly ever seen or heard one in my life before. We have apparently lost 40 million of them in the UK in the last 50 years, their numbers “plummeting by 93% to fewer than 5,500 pairs” (see article below). The irony is that they are known as the “common” nightgale and yet I struggled to find a “commons” photo to use (the one I managed to take was poor and partly obscured by foliage). Its so very sad to watch these extinctions taking place and there will only be more, until we get ourselves back in balance…

Which is why I doubted my ears at first, yet the up-and-down song and the rich velvet diversity of its verses had me wondering, even before I confirmed with my eyes. Blackcap was my first thought about this song which (was I imagining it or were these birds hopping around very fast or throwing their voices) seemed to be coming from almost every bush; but no, I already had my suspicions this was something rarer, and then I got the first sighting of the smallish brown bird, creamy white front, high up in a tree. I got home and compared the short recording I’d taken with examples on the RSPB site and Youtube and still I wasn’t quite convinced that “my” song matched the examples until, I read, the nightingale has over 200 phrases in its repertoire, using around 250 different buzzes and trills and whistles…so there is no singularly distinctive trill or phrase, this bird has a lot to say!

And I got the distinct feeling these birds had a great deal they they wanted to say on this occasion; something had certainly set them all off. I find I want to ask (not for the first time, see my post The Frequency of Birds), what part does frequency play in the triggering off the song of these birds, especially when they sing at nighttime, as they are famed to do?

Screenshot 2019-04-29 at 22.03.11.pngMusician Sam Lee is in Berkeley Square tonight, reworking “A Nightingale Sang in Berkley Square” to an audience that he hopes will disperse playing the nightingale’s song on their phones to draw attention to their plight. This is a closing ceremony of sorts to the Extinction Rebellion events that have been taking place…a poignantly fitting one at that, since we stand to loose so much more if we don’t pay attention to what this movement is all about.

If you’ve never heard of Lee, look him up or, better still, listen. He organises these wonderful events (see Singing With Nightingales) where you go for nighttime walks in the kind of woods where some of the very few nightingales can still be heard, to a secret location where he and other musicians improvise song and music with the birdsong, around a campfire. It’s high on my wish list to go to one of these events as soon as its feasible to arrange one we can get to easily as they sound just magical.

In Lee’s words, the nightingale is

“an animal that is so utterly at one with music and the environment and using all the tropes and articulation and emotional capacity of a human musician, in the shape of a tiny brown feathered being. Its song is absolutely full of indulgence and decadence and serenity and sexuality and pleasure and connection and commonality.”

The fact that I heard these birds, for the first time ever, in multiples, on Sunday as the Schumann Resonance got going into what turned out to be a two-day extravaganza of high frequencies, ranging from 30 up to 89 Hz (from the “usual” 7.83Hz) feels like no coincidence. Increased frequencies, to which we could expect birds to be especially sensitive, may have contributed to the extraordinary bird song levels and certain trends in bird behaviour…something I’ve been noticing for a while.

These include significantly increased thirst levels (a trait I share when the SR is spiking, said as I guzzle yet another large glass of water, hoping to sate today’s unquenchable thirst). My husband, who also noted relentless thirst today, works in a converted barn on a farm and has a water trough right outside his window for the horses in the field. He said he has never seen so many varieties of birds arriving as showed up today; magpies, rooks, woodpigeons and more were virtually queueing up for water like it was a soup kitchen, returning over and over again for more. Its been like that at my fountain too, including some very thirsty goldfinches who, strangely enough, seem to show up  in number whenever the SR is high, though I used to consider myself fortunate if I saw one or two in a whole summer. Whenever they arrive in their gangs, to invade my water vessels and the very airwaves with their unmistakably excitable song, it feels as though the golden energy is flooding in!

Today, the birdsong outside my window and down the chimney has quite soared with the SR and the birds are clearly feeling pretty excitable about it all. Interesting times.

 

Links:

Singing with Nightingales

A Nightingale sang in Berkeley Square – watch the video

Bird lovers flock to Berkeley Square as nightingales return

The frequency of birds

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Frazzled or evolving?

I’ve just started reading a darkly thought-provoking novel recommended by my daughter; its called Nod, in case you’re curious. I haven’t read far enough to tell you my overall verdict but, immediately, I’m hooked. Its the maelstrom of particular ideas, phrases, references and clevernesses that has me feeling this writer is, in some degree, like me, even thinking my thoughts, playing with nuance as I do; a profound familiarity in the way he regards the world, notices and connects little things, observes sub-layers of human behaviour. As I lie there reading in the bath, I find myself wondering why his stream-of-consciousness is so much more accomplished seeming (to me) than that of James Joyce, who I was forced to make a meal of all those years ago on my degree course and yet, here and now, he’s just one of a countless number of authors churning out novels that most people will never hear about. What was so exceptional, then and even now, about Joyce…yet is so un-worthy of fanfare about this, in this unforgiving era where we have access to just so many books, blogs and more that we can sample, read, discard and forget them in seconds on our devices? Because we have blasted this world, and all our ideas, apart, scattered like shards sprayed far and wide, only to find what looks, initally, like so much overwhelmingly more is, really, just more of the same. There’s always this niggling sense that we’ve seen it all before, even when we haven’t…

Because now its possible for writers, artists, musicians to draw on the stylistic “successes” of a myriad of other creatives to make their own creative product (in fact, impossible not to as these influences become embedded in us, from exposure to so very much, unless we live on a dessert island without access to technology). I know this for myself, when I create art or write. It always feels less like I draw on my own particular pot of genius than I am drawing from some vast well of creativity made up of all the creativity of all time. I can dip my brush, stylistically, into a touch of Monet mixed with a bit of O Keefe and a tadge of some photographer person whose name I don’t remember but whose work I once saw and which left an impression and I can use these influences like paint daubs, textures, effects…though I don’t even know I’m doing it. Its more like I tune in to the collective mind and intuit what is appealing, what has worked, what “vibes” at a frequency that I sense others have already been attracted to, what is similar enough to mix together, to morph, to evolve to the next level as my own creative product. With writing, if I get stuck as I feel for the right words to give it that creative flourish, the metaphor that will just “do it”, I just soften my mind and know that that exact right word, phrase or reference point will come to me, even if I’m not that familiar with it; I may even have to look it up to check its the right one, like it was an idea passed to me by an invisible friend. These days, it feels like I know so much more than I am deserving of, having not read all the books, done all the research and yet we are all left like that from contact with those who have; like the very vibration of knowledge is a fickle bird that flits from shoulder to shoulder, guided by the wind of the internet.

In other words, when I’m in that most creative space, the kind of day when I have my muse with me, it increasingly feels like like drawing from the Global Mind, some sort of super computer that we all have access to and which technology is reminding us how to access. Its not that it wasn’t there to start with, we always had it but imagine how difficult to access when very few realised this. Familiarity with the technology is showing us the ropes, getting us into the mindset of collective thinking, where we test the water with our ideas even before we put them out, observing the consensus, drawing on past geniuses, blending and manifesting to our own particular recipe yet calling on colours from a massive shared palette of humanness that, through its shared quality made up of familiar “colours”, others will instantly relate to; because without familiarity, who will buy our art, read our novel, talk to us? We will be left talking to ourselves. So our odds of communicating, of being successful, rapidly increase as we do this; we don’t have to fall down the same pitholes as others have done before, though we can revive obscurities that failed through someone else’s miss-timed step and breathe them back to life in our own times, now the flavour of the month because we gleaned the bigger picture and timed it rather better. So we play god in the miniature, picking a bit of this, less of that, formulating what is both new and yet relatable to whoever we are targeting with our output and all stylistically honed to make optimum use of the best of “before”. Is there any wonder I sometimes feel more like an editor than a creator; I throw creative mud at a wall and then hone back to what a kind of super editor inside of me feels is best to keep in, leave out, based on some sort of mega-experience that exceeds the scale of my own little life. In my view, we simply didn’t have this in-built facility twenty, maybe even ten, years ago, so what changed?

I talked in my last post about the extreme overwhelm of the younger generation and how depressed some of them seem to be, to a degree that is gaining the attention of all kinds of studies and articles. Its a topic I researched a little on the internet and, of course, its associated with the arrival of the smart phone since (at the surface of things…) no other circumstance has knowingly altered so significantly in the last 8 to 9 years to effect this sudden down-turn in the mental state of our young people. Yes, the eco-crisis is part of it but, really, that is nothing new, its just that the internet has made their generation more aware of, thus burdened by it than any other. Yet these same articles typically urge parents to limit technology use to 40 mins a day for mental health to be restored and this, of course, is not realistic; the cat has been let out of the bag and is now climbing trees in the yard, bearing its claws at anyone who comes near. Put another way, the horses have already bolted from the stables and a sort of re-wilding that has nothing to do with living in the woods is upon us.

Yet I agree, we are approaching a crisis point of such massive overwhelm amongst these kids, who can’t seem to be alone for five minutes; are never really alone any more given that, even on their most far-flung and remote travel adventures, they’re not complete until they have shared their exepriences and gained feedback from all of their friends. Its like they are on drugs, some sort of speed that they, at once love, are addicted to and yet bowing under the pressures of, to some quite unimaginable degree to those of us who only use our phones to make the occasional emergency call or tap out a five word text message. To them, the technology is part of them and there is no detaching it now without pulling out a part of themselves, like a giant tape worm that is already embedded, with access and sway over the very way they think. As someone who reads frequency, as I do, I notice how they are at fever pitch; franetic in their energy of multi-tasks. Its like I “hear” a shrill noise when they are around, in fact I can get red hot, sometimes, or wiped out just being near my daughter and, always interesting to me, I dream quite differently, at a different tempo, when she’s asleep in the same building (we long-ago noticed how we tuned into similar dream space). I can do it for a spell, can even be strangely upgraded from these brush-pasts with their high-wire youthful energy but to live there is quite a different thing.

In logical terms, based on old paradigm thinking, I see only a crash ahead, for many of them, as things are and the way they are accelerating their lives and emotions to try and keep up, with such detrimental effects upon their physical and psychological health. Yet, looked at another way, as I like to do (see my last post) I also see this as some sort of training ground for telepathy. These kids dont just think like this through their technology, they think collectively…full stop. Its their very way of being, along with the desire to be so close to one another that they seem to be constantly embroiled together and joined in the flesh, forever in contact with other skin, tangled hair, entangled legs, hugging, draping, lying on top of each other, nothing ever too much in ways that are alien to their parents. In all these ways and more, these kids are a completely different species to even my slightly older nephews and nieces, who are now in their 30s, and who didn’t grow up with this boundary-melting technology in their hands. 

So if this is a training ground for telepathy, which I have always known to be an unused human skill, one that would come to be in some future age, perhaps not so very long after this one, then why is it going so wrong, why all the overwhelm, the depression, the out of control feelings around selfhood and what it means to be human? Because its as though all the skies have been opened up as a free-for-all and, having left the solidity of the ground, there are no lanes for their traffic any more. A world beyond separation, which is where we are all heading, is a grand-sounding idea but imagine the chaos that would ensue if that happened overnight, which is what these kids are kind-of sampling like the guinea pigs of an era. Did we ever think that we would step into this new paradigm calmly, civilly, like well behaved children queuing to get on a school bus to go on some sort of outing in the sunshine of a perfect day? A sky without air traffic control would be absolutely chaos; we need some sort of rules to keep us in lane yet these kids have access to all manner of information, to each others thoughts, to the opinions of audiences of potentially millions if they share their “stuff” on social media…instantly, devastatingly; which they seem to welcome and yet it has them battered and bruised even as they “must” have it to be like everyone else. 

Those safety checks, the very-necessary lanes in the sky, can’t come from parents, who have no idea what its like to be these young people, to know and feel and share what they do, every minute of every day, in order to feel they belong to their generation. For instance, my daughter has a friend whose parents lock her phone in an actual cage to keep her from it while she studies, though she’s 18; and such ridiculous behaviours will only incite loathing  and disconnect from their parents and even more determination to claim back what all the other kids have access to since they feel they need it like the air that they breathe. So it has to come from them; they have to EVOLVE this cautionary measure, the inside safety valve that ensures they actually choose what they gain access to and how much they share. And when they achieve this, they will be so much more advanced in their humanness than their parents or grandparents, whose reality was only kept in check by the entrainment of all the tight-fitting belief systems imposed upon them by those who taught and handed down their chosen dogma to them and by their ignorance of all but those experiences that happened in their immediate vicinity or that were writen down in accessible books (assuming books even were, largely dependent on social status). These kids have access to more layers and sublayers of what is happening around them than previous generations could even imagine in their wildest dreams yet they will need to learn to focus on what they choose to experience like never before. To quote Yoda, there is no “try” in this territory; they will either do this or they won’t, with very different consequences.

So presumably this is an insider job that some will evolve and some others, yes possibly high numbers, won’t make it…I suspect…but perhaps we will be one step closer to our telepathic future. If we are heading towards greater experiential awareness of the Global Mind, then developing our own-individual mindfulness  is perhaps both the golden key to our own survival (which is what invests us so thoroughly in it, as we must be in order to give it our best effort…) and the success of the collective leap that we are all making together, since we all feed into that collective, just as surely as we draw out of it, as we are now starting to realise. These kids are learning the pitfalls of knowing, even sharing and drawing from, the minds of others “on the job” and its gruelling work. They have to learn to be respectful of what they put into the collective field, what unseen conseqences can butterfly from what they do or say, and of what they take out from it. Some of them already look ashen, ghostly, like they’ve seen too much or can’t put the gene back in the bottle. What it will lead to, what it will look like, in some not-so-future time remains to be seen but evolution can be costly, there will be those who will transition with ease, those who get the balance wrong and rue the consequences. We can only hope those we love will be amongst the ones who sufficiently hone their innate checks and balances (things we hopefully taught them through example…) in order to make it through in one piece, their selfhood and health intact, even as they come to realise they are co-creating our future as part of a rapidly evolving Global Mind.

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Let’s look at it another way…

If what I’m hearing from my daughter is anything to go by, a huge wave of talented and driven young people are now talking as though their main ambition, post-graduation, is to leave these shores to live and work elsewhere, should Brexit becomes a reality. Its the talk of her peers, she tells me. I’m hearing the same from other family members, and on the grapevine, more and more often, as a likely yet unwanted reality dawns upon so many young people in the UK. They talk about this so pragmatically, as an obvious “must”, a real and pressing call to them, should the doors slam shut…feeling they have to leave to keep their options and creativity, their very sense of involvement and of ongoing expansion, open and participating in a far bigger picture of the world than “Little Britain” would afford them. This place, to them, will be no more than a tired old seaside town where people come to wind down their lives; a place full of gulls pecking at empty fish and chip packets, petty ideals and sepia-tinted nostalgia.

Talking of bigger pictures, let’s look at this another way, as I always like to do. I’ve long had the sense that these British isles are like a seed pod that periodically bursts open, like one of those spore clouds of spring, shooting its cargo far and wide into worldwide distribution. If you are American, Canadian, Australian or quite a number more that I won’t bother to list, there’s a fair chance your forebears came from these shores which, for such a small island, is fairly impressive. Even when “done” by nefarious means, through empire, control and domination, or the burning desire for people (like now) to leave behind some sort of oppression, as the Pilgrim Fathers did, the means has led, most effectively, to this outcome and now…well…now we are fairly stagnant, inward looking, navel-gazing; the “pod” has gone quiet. Some say England is the Heart Chakra of the planet, the very pump or the bellows that keeps the whole teaming with energy and I’ve always felt something in that. Its a particular energy of place, to which many tribes have attracted, to mix with an indiginous quality, over and over again, in order to stir their flavours like the complex seasoning of an excellent stew, only to spew  forth, repeatedly, from the sides of this favourite pot…and when that pot shuts down, closes its lid to “invaders” and exotic ideas, the stew goes cold and uninteresting for a while.

Seaside.jpgSo perhaps there’s design behind a “thing” that will distribute a generation of our particular brand of quirkiness and talent, vision and frankness, tenacity and humour, far and wide; the blood of our youth, those first jets of our ingenuity, unleashed on a far wider scale. Though it saddens and frustrates me at a human level, as I contemplate family members and offspring scattered so far away we will be lucky to see them even once a year in the flesh, and as one left behind here listening to the slowing grind of the barrel organ turned by monkeys, my curiosity is piqued…and, looked at as though I were them, I can’t say I blame them for going, either. Perhaps our loss is the world’s gain, in some sort of cosmic plan that we are only seeing at ground level and I remain curious at the broader scale, as I always am.


For more intriguing theories about distinct migration patterns at certain key points in history, I recommend Dr Carl Johan Calleman’s book “The Global Mind and the Rise of Civilization: The Quantum Evolution of Consciousness” and “The Nine Waves of Creation: Quantum Physics, Hollograpic Evolution and the Destiny of Humanity”.

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Living life intensely

I can tell my life has made a significant switch this year since I’m not measuring it by how many widgets I’ve churned out. In my case, widgets have tended to be how many new artworks or designs and (increasingly) blogs I have put out, before that it was “what I earned”, in my old life, where I measured by “achievement”. Yet here I am, in almost May, and I notice how I now gauge the fulness of my cup by the intensity of my life.  There is no other word for it…and no other objective. My days, via every moment, feeling, passing emotion, interaction, subtlest thought, thread-end, synchronicity, observation, realisation, sensation, wisp of inspiration, are lived intensely and far too variably, unquantifiably, to measure, there being no “rule” by which to take their length or breadth, yet I know it from the feel f it.

For me, a thinker, mostly a do-er, all my life, this is big and I know it, for all I have always been the synesthete, the receiver of almost too many sensations to process, yet there was always that over-ride button, that tried to make “things” of it rather than have the experience. I have been subject to so much intensity…bottled up. Yet its nothing new for our youth, who live their lives so like this, moment to moment, that they hardly know how to box it all up, when the clock strikes and they are told they have to join the narrow-guage rank and file of the working masses…nor should they. So they postpone, they rebel, they opt out, they break down…and, in them, I find my biggest hope for a future for this planet. 

Talking to my daughter last night, at last, as she broke the shell of silence we had maintained for almost a week since she returned, not because she didn’t want to tell me anything but because she knew not how to (if only I could explain how much I do really get her more than she knows…but why would she trust this, coming from our generation) she tried to convey to me the intensity of her life experience since going to uni. Its a nonstop synesthesia explosion of such intense momentum, feelings, interactions, joyfulness, spontaneities, overwhelms, confusions, obliterations and also so so much depression, she says, in her generation…so much fear, and anger and hopelessness at the world our generation are handing on to them. There’s such a pervasive feeling of having no say in the sorting of the heinous mess we have made of the world, ongoing and ever more urgent, and them the voiceless millions, for all they rant and rail at the way things are going, at abysmal decisions being made by heart-dead bureaucrats, sending their planet, their futures, to hell in a hand basket. Brexit and the dying planet, she says, are almost memes…funny clichés, the stuff of bad jokes…in her world, not because they don’t care (they care with typical intensity) but because they have all the tragic rigmortis of next to no ability to make themselves heard in a broken system; no way to grab the wheel to redirect the vehicle before it crashes head-on into a brick wall with us all on board. They are becoming numb through this feeling of inertia; more so every day, as they expose themselves to such intensity of feeling that they keep on wanting more more more to stimulate themselves into feeling alive against all the odds of this gloom. Where once life flashed, say, a moment of purple in a sea of mundane grey, she says, it is now like an explosion of so many colours and lights and shapes, non-stop, and, in the midst of the rainbow-surprise of it all are, equally, the pitch darks that have no name…yet they dare to look into these equally, along with all the bright colours, while the “grown ups” seem to skirt around the edges, eyes firmly closed, fingers-crossed, wing and a prayer.

So though they campaign, sign, rebel, shout their views, as the very norms of their existence, they feel like they are banging their heads on a wall and, meanwhile, they plough on into all the chaos of deadline demands, all the unimaginable complexity of an age driven by social media relationships and genders with no boundaries, and towards the madly inevitable abyss of an adult world that was meant to fit their parents, one that is self-evidently “screwed”, and thus holds nothing whatsoever to appeal to them, even if it had a future. So what else can they do but continue to live intensely, fully in the moment, ever-present with the mad kalisdoscope of  their days, whilst working intensely hard, dreaming of some future idyl, while their graduation waits like a cliff hanger at the end, and them not really sure if they still want to be alive at that point. Yet they continue to live life at breakneck speed until they get there, not knowing “what” or “how” or even “if” something awaits them there.  Will we even have a planet by then is a very real consideration.

Yet one thing is for sure, they are living life intensely. Every moment, every social interaction, every deep-philosophical conversation, every midnight walk in pitch dark, every leap of faith into summer placements or travel in far-flung places they’ve never been to, is intense and the real intensity of it all is happening on the inside. While the outside interface may look random, chaotically childlike in its naivety, they are profoundly changing themselves, and a whole race, on the inside. In striving for what they really DO want by the sheer force and intensity of their gaze, the attention they throw serving as a dart at the bullseye of a better world that no logic can predict, they are changing themselves, both individually and collectively, becoming, almost, a telepathic Super Being filled with fresh, youthful intentions…a shot in the arm of new life…and we are being changed with them. Out there in “the field” something monumental is going on and it looks like Pardigm Shift, though it arrives in stealth shoes.

Our generation complacently thinks (though not I) that our young people will inevitably lose steam and volume, giving up on contrary intentions as we did, to slip quietly into rank and file to sign dotted lines for work contracts with corporations they once despised and for mortgages that will hold them prisoner for life, never to question anything again in the name of familial safety over all moral-else. Maybe some will do that, but not all…in fact, most, probably, very far from all will be even capable of trimming their wings back. Because intensity, like this, once experienced, cannot be put back into the box. Rules so completely disregarded, not even given lip-service, cannot be reinstated where they uttelry defy Higher (not constructed…) logic. The impulse to know joy and liberty, as the birth right that they are, cannot be forgotten once made the very priority for so long, in ways that we never had the experience of in our youth. Like an airbag gone off, we become vastly bigger than the receptacle we came from; things look quite different now, new colours are introducted to the rainbow, motivations change, priorities crystallise.

Meanwhile some of us older folk live to prove the flipped adage that even an old dog can learn new tricks…for I am one of those of those dogs, being and feeling and experiencing over thinking and doing and producing, hardly at-all measuring, making quantum leaps where a life of even two months ago is already outgrown, over and over again, which is the compounded shift of many ages amd lifetimes in one being, felt in the very core of my DNA. Being prepared to go where we know-not what the ending could possibly be is part of this paradigm change; we have no choice but to face the sheer impossibility of a future, measured by old standards, in order to hold space for something brand new to emerge (in fact this lack of a predictable ending is the very clue we are getting close). Faced with such a reality, we have no other option but to experience life intensely, moment to moment, navigating by its rapidly appearing and exploding stars scattered across a vast universe of sensations. It is never too late to do this, while there is still breath in our body, and the sheer intensity of “eleventh hour” can be harnessed to fuel such a quantum leap in our collective reality once we know how this feels within the very core of ourselves.

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Loving all your differences into their highest form

You’re very different to anyone else. You know it, you’ve always known it, you may have even hidden it, buried it deep and dark, masked it in a variety of ways, tried to heal it, medicate it, to soften it, even to make something of it…but its never been more obvious to you, in a myriad of ways, than now. New definitions for your differences may have recentlty surfaced as you’ve allowed yourself to see them more; and these are often helpful, as long as used to better notice all the inherent gifts, not the stigma applied by others. People may have challenged these, doubted them “at you” as you dared to own these things about yourself and “come out” (like you weren’t even there in the discussion; exactly like they were the one with the problem, which is true), acting as though your uniqueness is an illness (its not) that offends them or their sacrosanct version of reality. 

You may have swung wildly from the point of almost embracing this back into the depths of fear at your own non-conformism, over and over again, almost to the point of breakdown or, yes, you’ve broken down. Now you are here and this difference is asserting its truth like never before and with that comes some sort of relief as you dare to allow that you can really choose to go this way, not back into the cookie-cutter tyrany of all your previous existences. You’re finally letting go of all the many vain hopes of finding your exact mirror image (though you may find your compliment…), like watching grains of sand pour though your fingers, relishing the sensation, though you never thought you would. In these potent weeks at this very potent time, many of us are facing this truth, like two people met in a narrow corridor, awkwardly jostling to get past without meeting each other’s eyes; though we are only meeting our self, which is  ours for the owning at last…fully and unconditionally. Dare to believe this and you will make a quantum leap!

Linearity is softening so you are embracing all the many gifts of yourself, gathered in great armfuls, across all of time. Suddenly, you just know who you are, in great flashes of knowing, and this needs no validation from “other”, being self-contained. Be curious, allow it to happen to you, not because you are orchestrating from an old sense of self but because many hidden parts of you are revealing at last and its more fascinating than any other distraction could be. Then LOVE yourself whole; you were always the only one who could.

It may feel like the cutting of last ties with the idea of “fitting in” fully with any other person on earth, or with their exact viewpoint of what is taking place here, yet this concensus is no longer as necessary as we once thought it was; in fact it held our highest creator gifts back. Nurture healthy suspicion where new one-size-fits-all theories try to reassert, as they will; just part of the backlash. Something in us urges us on in this call for our own excusite uniqueness, our exact fit-for-purposeness, our very particular expression of source creator…and its both important and needed. Don’t shirk this task, don’t turn away and hide or fall out of love with yourself again but go with this truth; its your very foundation, the platform on which you get to experience a New You built for a New Time ahead. You were made this way by YOU for this very now.

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